Day 190 a very soggy day! ☔️☔️☔️☔️☔️

Well it started to rain overnight last night and it didn’t stop until after 12pm! It started again but now at 2.30pm it’s off. I got soaked. Drenched. Like a “droont rat” I was….

First of all out with the dogs super early.

Bhru and Freya were off having fun while I hid under the my favourite trees!
Nature can still be beautiful when it pours….

I didn’t bother having a shower and washing my hair as the forecast was horrific and I had a feeling it was only gonna get worse. I’m obviously following the new guidelines and have to stand outside houses on delivery and we still had our usual chats. I wasn’t about to rush away because of a bit of rain but it really was pelting down. Was fine until I moved and could feel how sopping wet I was.

Had big plans for this afternoon, shower, chill, relax, coorie in and read a book or crochet.

Calaidh having a nap this afternoon
Freya too!
I am under Bhru!

There’s nothing like a good cuddle with the dogs!

Instead I ended up making a Pawsitive Solution call, Craig came home, chatted to him, read for a wee bit with the dogs, chatted to the bathroom guy who’s still here so Claire messaged after her work and I suggested another soggy doggy walk!

It’s now 6.21pm and I am adamant I am getting a hot shower before Crochet at 7. Bathroom guy is just packing up. It is really taking shape now and looks u-mazin…..

The only problem is that I have stoor on my stoor…. the following pic is our hallway floor…. 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

My Rocketdogs look pretty cool in the dust!!

It’s just everywhere…. everything you touch is covered in stoor.

It will be worth it in the end. Just breathe….

We could all take note of this

Stay safe everyone ☔️☔️☔️

Day 189 is this the latest blog ever??? Starting at 8.42pm…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I saw this first thing on FB and thought it too lovely not to share. Follow Hope Blamire Artist on FB

So I honestly don’t know where the hours go…. how did I ever find time to devote 13 hours a day to my old job?!?!

Today has been a jumble of dog behaviour calls, Kinesiology twice, dog walks, document sorting and chatting outside in the dark with Claire. Covid life continues.

So my first kinesiology appointment was at 10 am and the internet just wouldn’t play ball at all….. we ended up giving up and Shelagh gave me an appointment at 1pm down in her treatment room in Dalry.

The first time I have been since February, the first time I have physically seen her since February and it was so lovely and so normal but in a very good way! It felt so good to be back.

We dealt with self preservation today. How to deal with everything life throws at you and not melt into a greasy blob when things don’t go your way. I love that I feel in tune with Shelagh’s healing now and I can feel the energy changes quite quickly.

Socially distanced Kinesiology

Shelagh wears a mask, apron and gloves throughout the treatment. I missed her hugs though!!

Came home and straight out into the sun with the dogs!

We had a lovely frisbee dog walk today
It’s another beautiful day
I loved this
The road to nowhere… except Margaret Johnson’s obviously!
Calaidh carries the frisbee home!!

So I had a table booked in the pub from 4.30pm to go through the boxes of Memorial Hall Treasury documents with Rachel two doors down! We’re not allowed in each other’s houses so had a socially distanced sort of the documentation in the pub. A job really well done in an hour and a half!

Next door Claire had been out for a walk without us as I was busy but she popped into the garden for a chat. We wrapped up well and sat outside until 8.30pm! Craig came home and couldn’t figure out where we were till he heard voices out the back!!

We had such a giggle. I drank a part of a daddy long legs in my coffee which was a joy…….. not….. we just laughed at everything we talked about which was a lovely end to a very busy day!

Awfy dark!!
A lovely night outside! as the moon comes up it’s almost a full moon! 🌝

So I’m back inside, cooried up on the couch while Craig’s eats his dinner. Wont be long till bed I reckon.

Stay safe everyone 🌕🌕🌕

Day 188 disappeared… it’s 8.06pm already 😆

Wow. Time flies when you’re having fun. I faffed about until 11 and have been making calls for Pawsitive Solutions on and off since then. I had 14 enquiries to call back and have managed 12 and booked 4!

I had a lovely sunset dog walk with Claire, Bhruic and Freya as Calaidh was out at work with Craig.

Sunset pups
Sunset trees

Claire is not a huge fan of cows having been chased by a herd in the past. We walk past a field that is kept for birthing calves. A wee black calf had just been born on our way out… on the way back the cow was eating the afterbirth…. wheeching it about the field as it tried to chew it.

The calf is the wee black shape in the left – it was gorgeous!
This is a great one…. cow wheeching afterbirth 🤮

Country life eh?!? I was laughing so hard at Claire as I think that was a cow step too far. To be fair she handled it well…. think we guffawed through it.

So sorry it’s short today. I’ve been a bit low today but focussing on the work needing done. Tomorrow is a new day… again… and it will be better 😍

Stay safe everyone 🐮🐮🐮

Day 187 sunshine, dog walks, Dads birthday lunch in the pub! We might not eat again until Tuesday… 🤣

Our ivy is at the stunning colour stage as we head into autumn 🍂

Another beautiful day here but boy it’s freezing….. I say that but I’m sitting at the sun room door with a T-shirt on so yes there’s a nip in the air.

I didn’t have the best night. Was awake with a racing mind for what felt like forever but then again I am prone to exaggeration 🙄😬

The dogs had free run of the house last night so I was a bit of a punchbag on and off but on the whole they were pretty good. It is nice to get a cuddle…. not so nice to yawn athe same time as Bhru wants to lick your face. Those that have been close enough to Bhru will be well aware of this little act of love. 🤮

This is us yesterday… that’s a big tongue 😝
I do… 💯 %
I’ve said before but this is one thing that I have believed from the start of my journey. I know that everything’s going to be good, I know it will work out

Brené Brown says on one podcast that you shouldn’t feel you have to keep explaining your life or life choices to everyone. You are allowed to just be with your decisions as they are right for you. Yes…. I chose to write about it to understand in my own head but I learning that I no longer need to justify anything to anyone. It’s my life, my direction and I’ve been brought up to do the right things in life so it can’t go wrong. Brené says the more you try to justify it to others the more you start to doubt it.

I did one of Suzanne Robichaud’s hypnotherapy sessions yesterday. It’s about not reacting to triggers. Triggers are things that through time, trigger my anxiety. rather than a controlled approach which I have to work at al the time, a trigger is like a whoosh of anxiety the minute the trigger occurs. That unsettling doubt flows back over me and makes me question everything.

Her self hypnosis is designed to stop reaction to triggers. I did this lying in Grans chair, fully reclined which is a real luxury, while Craig was out with the dogs. I think I may have snoozed a couple of times as I seem to snort awake (classy huh 🤔) but think I caught most of it. I’d been feeling a lot of shoulder tension yesterday and it was pretty much gone after the session. I love the sound of Suzanne’s voice…. it’s so relaxing.

So I feel I’m rambling a bit now but I like a Sunday morning to regroup. It’s a beautiful day, I will wrap up to keep out the cold. I am very grateful for the day ahead!

Calaidh’s such a poser!
Freya chewing on the grass!
I’ve actually sat down on the dog walk today… defeating the purpose of walk but soaking up the rays and breathing in the fresh air.
Freya and Bhru are two small dots!
I just love all the colours in these pictures

Mum and dad came over to us today so we could have Dads birthday lunch in the Pub next door. Was a lovely catch up though so strange that they are not allowed in the house and we’re not allowed to hug or kiss them. It actually feels really rude to meet them and say hi and to just say goodbye from a distance. It’s sad.

Craig polished this bad boy off!!! A Cajun chicken burger with onion rings! It looked even bigger in the flesh.

I had Hollys famous enchilada, mum had Steak Pie and Dad had Lasagne. None of us are going to eat until Tuesday now we reckon.

Mum is doing really well just taking one day at a time. So lovely to see her out and about.we showed them round the garden then gave them some potatoes and onions to take away with them. 🥔 🧅

So I’m back in the usual, Gran’s chair with my feet up, digesting that giant meal.

I plan only to move to the couch in the living room at some point. Then bed. 😆

Hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday.

I’m staying away from COVID news for now as my head is not the best and I think I need to work at the positives without reading any negatives. I did hear on the podcast today that lots of people are finding themselves in tears over what they perceive to be “nothing” and yet we must remember that we are grieving for the lives that we had. That life is never going to be the same again. The handshakes, the hugs, the air kisses… in order to heal we must first grieve.

Stay safe everyone ❤️💛🧡

Day 186 sticking to one set of clothes and being done with it… another glorious day ☀️☀️

I had THE BEST sleep last night and count not wake up or move… until we realised that the bathroom guy was at the front door waiting to get in 😬 the downside to an electronic door bell is that it does not ring when both phones are on silent.

Thank heavens we have Calaidh the announcer of visitors… 😳😬😆

So after that rude awakening and moving all at the same time…… it’s actually been a relatively functional day. Albeit still a very cold but beautiful day!

Off out in the Jeep with the new clutch
To B&Q yay!!

Craig’s looking for storage for the Jeep so we got some stuff in B&Q and headed to Morrison’s.

Some observations today… everyone was wearing a mask inside the stores. There are no queues to get in but the shops are festooned with signs telling you to social distance.

Think that’s the first time I’ve been in Morrisons since lockdown. Around 2 aisles they have a fancy trolley queuing system which seemed crazy to me but actually was really effective. You are 2m from everyone else and someone tells you what till you go to so there’s none if this chancing your arm at a till and getting stuck in a big queue while the other one moves faster. The queue winds round the homeware aisles so it did work as no one is desperately wanting straight into those aisles.

So home, shopping away and Craig started to build the drawer unit for the Jeep and has just so rested it in Raptor spray paint. He ran out but it looks great so far!

It’s lightweight with 4 drawers so will take loads of stuff for easy access in the Jeep
The new normal…. please turn a blind “eye” to my husband (see what I did there?!?)

We went into the pub to meet out neighbours Jim & Fiona at 4pm and had a lovely afternoon drink and chat. Holly bought one some Erdinger alcohol free beer which I really like so I had two of them and then went on to Coke Zero and coffee. (Any more than 2 Erdinger and I explode as it’s so gassy!)

Back in the house now for a movie evening, I’ve not much to say today (check me!)

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️

Day 185 changing clothes every 5 mins due to changing temperatures… it must be autumn☀️

It’s a cold but sunny morning…. I start off in leggings and a jumper.

I am loving listening to Brené Brown’s podcasts Unlocking Us on Spotify.

I still can’t stop thinking that I am happy being grateful for my ordinary whole others are still off searching for the extraordinary.

That does not belittle where I am in life. In fact the opposite. I am so grateful for where I am now and even during these COVID-19 times, I am grateful for everything.

Ok… I’ll take that!

I’ve tried to listen to her before but just wasn’t ready. Now I am…. I can listen, I can hear it and I can take it all in. Most of all I can fully relate to it.

I’ve had a good day today. I was awake before 7, wasted time on social media and got up at 8. I had a list today and I worked through it like a list Queen!!

👸🏻 👑

My neighbour Rachel who in blog world will forever be known as “Rachel two doors down” 😆 and god love her, in the village, as big Rachel (even though she is super thin due to all her working out!) because there is a wee Rachel next door who is still referred to as baby Rachel. She’s nearly 11….. 😆

Anyway this blog is not about Rachel’s of the village. I digress. She’s been appointed Treasurer of the Village Hall Committee and I am Assistant Treasurer so we got together in the garden sunshine to fill out the bank paperwork to make it all official. (The outgoing Treasurer will read this with much shaking of heads and I forgot all about the bank paperwork until now….. 😬)

It turned pretty hot

So leggings and a vest stop by this point. It was super lovely and I figured I might not move for the rest of the day… when Rachel left I put on shorts…. The weather saw this and the sun went in. So the jumper went on with the shorts… the sun comes back out. 😤

Jumper off, clouds over… very quickly too I might add.

So as I said, I had a list. I sent a wee film of the Beetle to a lady who is thinking of coming to see it tomorrow. I ticked items off on the list. I made Pawsitive Solutions calls. I’ve only booked 2 jobs in this week which is not many but we’re so busy that I guess people are waiting. I took my jumper on and off like a loony!

When Craig and Calaidh came back from work he did say I was allowed in the house and I realised that sitting outside was getting a bit ridiculous! Back to leggings and the jumper!

Freya and I set off for a walk under a mean and moody sky 🌌
Spending some one on one time training with her and she was really good
We had a lovely run about in the woods… well of course it goes without saying that she ran and I walked!
The limekilns in the background
I came back home to get Bhru and take her out and the sun came back out…. jumper off…

Check that big cloud though….

It never came to anything though spots of rain were forecast
The sun went back in … jumper back on
Good girl Bhru off the lead. So, so, so, so much easier when you walk the dogs on their own!

So I’m now in Grans chair, feet up. We have pizza coming for dinner tonight from La Dolce Vita in Lochwinnoch so really looking forward to that. Just gonna have a lovely lazy evening, I will read some of my book and we’re having a movie night tonight. There will be a fire in the fireplace (where else) and candles and blankets…. I will be super cosy.


Stay safe everyone…. and warm… stay warm 🔥🔥🔥

Day 184 a mini adventure in the sun ☀️ 🚐☀️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I had a lie in until 7.30am as gym boy didn’t wake up me up fully at 4.30am… not that he does it deliberately anyway but I managed to get back to sleep.

All I knew today was that I was going to walk the dogs and make Pawsitive Solutions calls and that was all…. nice after a busy few days.

It’s another beautiful morning ☀️
The same tree at sunset but loved the clouds
Janky tree but I love it…. this is one that features heavily in my blog.

While I was here my neighbour messaged to asked for a lift to the supermarket as her car was in the garage.

Having fun in the freshly cut field but the clouds are amazing too
The cops are checking us out and we’re checking them out!!
My other fav trees
Heading back into the village

By the time I walked back their car was ready for collection so I dropped her at the garage and then did a wee detour.

There is a road called the Fairlie Moor Road that I stumbled upon once and it’s absolutely stunning. I actually drove there today purely so that I could stop and take photos for today’s blog in the beautiful sunshine. It obviously helps my mental health but gives me something to write about too!

The road less travelled
The first sign of the view down to the Isle of Cumbrae (Millport) on the way down to the coast
Just love the peaceful road
The second stop with Abbie the campervan posing
Zoomed in on Goat Fell
New road!! it’s been freshly tarmac’d
So of course I ended up in Largs

A quick visit to a wee gift shop that is actually closing down and then the Pound Basket for some wool!

I had a Costa and a toastie sat by the sea. Was lovely. Much quieter than the weekend as the kids are all back at school.

The famous Nardini’s ice cream parlour 🍦

So I’m home now, feet up but do have calls to make. Think I need a nap and then I’m going to Silverburn shopping centre tonight to meet my friend Lea!

I had the best hours nap…. on Grans chair with the sun on me but covered in a blanket too for extra warmth…. so good. Alarm off at 3.3” and had 3 calls to make. Someone sent me a message and said could I call back at 8.30pm.

Let’s be very clear here… the old me would have done that in a heartbeat…. the new me…. sorry I don’t work that late are you free tomorrow? Yes off work all day! Check me. It’s the little things that make the difference.

So just arrived at Silverburn and listened to Brené Brown on the way here. I’m really trying to listen to podcasts when driving or walking the dogs.

Someone asked her what her best life moment was. She said… taking time to step back, relax and feel gratitude for the ordinary while everyone else is off out hunting for the extraordinary.

Wow. read that again and let that sink in…

Lea and I waiting for our Starbucks
Socially distanced Starbucks

Will write a wee bit more tomorrow about my first trip to a shopping centre but I’ve got some shops to explore!

Stay safe everyone 🛍🛍🛍

Day 183 stunning sunrise, gorgeous busy day and stunning sunset!

What a busy day… this is gonna be a late one!

Was up, showered and out with the dogs by 8.30am this morning. What a beautiful day!!

I never saw this forecast. I’ve been in shorts and T-shirt all day when I thought this week was gonna be miserable.

10x zoom into my phone out to Goat Fell on Arran with Beith in the foreground… amazing!
Stunning views from the hill
Walking into the sunrise 🌅
Heading home
Bhru thought about barking at this coo

So off out to volunteer with Beith Trust about 9.30am. Such a lovely day and of course with all the new restrictions I had to be careful to stay out the front door to keep them safe. Had my usual lovely chats with everyone. The weather made such a difference too, it was so warm standing in the sun. ☀️

My fav 2 trees 🌲 🌳 taken while doing deliveries…. stopped the van and took this out the window

One of the wee ladies has a lovely armchair that she wanted recovered and I told her that my Auntie was good at stuff like that… trust me to volunteer someone else…. and of course she’d said yes.

We’ve been talking about it for months but I finally picked it up today. So Auntie Jac met me in a car park (again as we can’t be in anyone else’s house…) and we swapped the chair from my van to her car then drove to The Little Coffee Caravan for some sustenance and a wee stand about in the sun.

Then we drove up to Dunelm Mill… in separate cars due to COVID-19 as we can’t car share… to try to find some material for the chair. We got some and got a really good deal and Auntie Jac is away off with the chair and material to work her wonders. I’ve told her that I’ll be on call to head up and help anytime.

Got home to find the bathroom coming on well.

Had messaged Claire on the way home to see if she fancied a dog walk!
Setting sun 🌅
How stunning is this?!
This is a zoomed out pic!
The Gateside Inn at sunset

I’m now in the pub with the Gateside Hookers tonight socially distanced of course. Story of our lives now eh?! We need 2 separate tables as there are 4 of us and we can only sit 2 households at any one table.

Having a lovely chat with the girls but think I’ll sleep tonight… and all of tomorrow I reckon!

Stay safe everyone 🌄 ☀️ 🌅

Day 182 a busy one and new COVID-19 restrictions for UK & Scotland announced

The gym boy woke me at 4.30am…. just couldn’t get back to sleep so I was up hoovering at 7am. My new Shark 🦈 vacuum is still amazing. I can even hoover seat cushions! Dog hair begone….. 😆 actually it’s never gone but it was gone for the 5 mins before the dogs came downstairs…. 😳

I went to the cash and carry with Holly this morning….. turns out it’s the last time I’ll be doing that for a while (see covid announcement below!!). Then we had a wee quick shopping trip around Irvine. Was home by 12.30 then spent some time making calls for Pawsitive Solutions as I do most days now!

So there are big changes on the COVID-19 guidelines again. We set up the iPad to listen and Nicola Sturgeon started talking about how we were ready to progress to phase 2…. I’m listening intently thinking I thought today’s announcements were going to be bad news for us as the R number (rate of infections) is creeping up… she says it’s going down blah blah….. I was “reminded” of the olden days when people sat listening to the wireless for the address to the nation given by Winston Churchill…. not that I was there obviously. I was just aware this was history in the making again and yet she wasn’t saying what I was expecting to hear….

The “click here to listen live”…… was an old broadcast from the start of July. She said that we could start travelling further afield from 15th July and we both realised!!!!

So we find the right one and she hasn’t started yet….. I thought her announcement was pretty surreal so it made complete sense when I finally clicked it was the wrong one. 🤪

This is why further restrictions are necessary
Back to not being allowed in anyone’s house anymore. Claire says we are back to up the ladder cuppas again…. sad but needs must

Thankfully we think Craig can still work under the Tradesman rules as they are delivering a service. He takes all the necessary precautions anyway, he’s the one person I knew used loads of hand gel before this virus hit us!! Obviously customers can chose to cancel too if they need to.

I had a wee meeting with Lorna from Pawsitive Solutions (along with Craig obviously!) this afternoon to discuss a wee business proposition….. Exciting prospect I think, just need to put some thought into how it would work. Have lots to think about!

More calls and now I am done. 4.30am is a ridiculous time to wake up and yet I just lay in bed while Craig did a full workout at the gym…. I’m tired just thinking about it!

Lots of new rules to get our heads around again…. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 oh and ITS RAINING!!!! First time in a whole lotta days…… ☔️☔️☔️

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️

Day 181 a practical day… bit dull but lists ticked! ✅✅

I had some crazy dreams again last night but I was in a great mood when I got up this morning. Up at the back of 7 showered, dressed, cleaned the wee tiny, teensy, weensy bathroom which took a nano fraction of a second to be honest.

I set the computer up and set my call register up for the week all ready to go. I have coffee with Craig and then went out with the dogs. It’s dry today but a wee nip in the air until you start walking fast!

There were coos everywhere today… kind of wondered what they were waiting for 🐮🐮🐮
Ready to climb the fence
We found a field that didn’t have coos or fresh silage cut in it. They had a great run while I walked up the road and keep my feet dry
Strange sky today!

So I came back home, coffee on and sat down to make calls but there was a frustration eating away at me, and anxiety a stress building. I wasn’t sure why but it was making me breathless. I made 3 calls and then couldn’t make anymore as they had come through as blank without any information in them… that got me a bit more p*d off… when you’re in a mood like that then nothing goes your way.

To be fair, the house was still a riot with everything going on with the bathroom. The bedroom in particular has taken a hit. I went in there and tried to blitz as much as I could. Most of the camping stuff is now down in the shed. The bed’s changed and clothes tidied away etc. We still have tiles and campervan flat pack furniture but that’s ok. It has to be somewhere for now and will be gone in a few weeks. I felt a cluttered house was giving me a very cluttered mind.

Tidying up did help a lot. Then it was 4 o’clock. Time flies when you’re having fun….

The bathroom guy isn’t here today as the plaster is still drying… reckon there used to be a window on this wall before the extension was built?!? So random!
I always trust my gut now
I love this 🐥🐣🦅 I always joked that I was hatching into an eagle

So I’ve got a busy week ahead so I’m pleased I’ve made a dent in the housework. I have calmed down a bit but I am very tired. As soon as the anxiety passes it leaves me zonked….

We’re being warned that COVID infection rates are doubling at the moment so something needs to change to slow down the rate of infection. I don’t know what that will mean for us but it will be very difficult if we are sent back into another lockdown. I’m not sure if it will come to that but I’m guessing it might.

I’m gonna spend the even trying to out a smile on this grumpy face…. worst case at least I can guarantee that clean bed will do it later on!!

Stay safe everyone 💛🧡❤️

Day 180 blog writing by the sea is the way forward 🏖 ☀️ 🌊

We had the loveliest night with Dave and Angela last night. A wee bite to eat, some drinks and a great catch up. Precious time spent with friends. We only met them in April of 2018 on our first Overland Bound weekend in Loch Lomond and honestly haven’t seen them that many times since but they’re great company and it’s great to hear about their real overlanding travels across many, many countries. You can follow them on FB at Polaris Overland.

The docks next to the restaurant last night
Dave and Angela saw me taken photos haha!
Sunset over the dock

We had a lovely time last night. I spared them a photo!!

I feel better today but I’m quiet and I know I’m quiet and it’s nice to just withdraw into my own company sometimes as I can just be.

Had a lazy morning and decided to treat myself to a wee day in Largs. I came here a lot when I was off sick. It has charity shops for a wee wander… the Pound Basket 💷 🧺 that has a wool 🧶 section which is out of this world… it has a CalMac ferry ⛴ and it has the sea 🌊. What’s not to love.

Today I got a present for one of my wee delivery ladies as she is 80 on 13th October. She’s so excited about it and confessed that’s she’s dreading that no one does anythh h info for her. Queue me…. picked up some lovely wee bits and bobs for her. 🎁

My current view

It has to be said that there are hundreds of people walking past me but I am not looking at them. I’m on my own and I’m looking at the sea. I just called Craig to say I don’t want to come home but I wish he was here!

I had to park up at the top of Largs seafront as the main car park had a queue
Arty pic of the Cumbrae Ferry ⛴
The sea was like a mill pond
Main Street was busy
I went into Costa and the lady behind me was the only one in the shop not wearing a mask, including all the staff. This is not me taking a photo of her but I jumped straight to judgement of her then tried to be more understanding… Inside Costa is empty as everyone is outside. Covid life is so strange.
A coconut milk latte for me ☕️
The ferry slip and the sun is coming out
The wash from the ferry
Now the sun is out and the wind has picked up.

How many of us actually take time in life just to be. I think I’d said yesterday that being sober means no escape from everyday life, no oblivion from the rat race, no ahhhh that’s better. Being by the sea does that for me I think. It’s my relaxation. My chill out. My ahhhhh that’s better.

Sea Sparkles

There’s lots of COVID news today as we seem to be on the verge of a second lockdown but I’m not going to cover it as I’m enjoying the moment without negativity.

A yacht ⛵️ a ferry ⛴ and a dingy 🚣🏽‍♀️ from right to left

I’m laughing out loud as a kid next to me just asked if she could swim and was told no… there was no towel and not change of clothes. She’s allowed to paddle and then she falls in…. methinks she planned it all along!! Now every other kid round about wants to swim too… it must be freezing as well?!?!

When do we get so boring as we grow up? We conform to what society expects of us and getting wet with no towel or change of clothes is just horrifying to us…. maybe I need to take a leaf out of that wee girls’ book.

Live for the moment, have fun and do what makes you happy. She is beaming from ear to ear….

They’ve also been trying to get her out of the wager for the last 20 mins and it’s getting boring now!

I hope you’re all having a lovely Sunday. I’m gonna sit here and just be for a bit longer.

Stay safe everyone 🚣🏽‍♀️ ⛵️ ⛴

Day 179 turning around a bad day 😢 😔 ☀️ 🚶🏽‍♀️🐕 🎧 💺 🧶 🧘🏻‍♀️ 😍

When my eyes open at first I am usually pretty in tune with my state of mind. That’s doesn’t mean that I wake up saying this is going to be a bad day but a quick scan of thought process etc shows me that we’re gonna need to do some work to make it better.

I used to be this person…. days on end I would just sit like an empty shell. I know that these days are over for now but I need to work harder on the tough days.
This came up on my FB timeline. (I always feel like my time alone knows what I need to hear on a specific day…. I’ve been very aware of negative talk in the last few days.
It’s a beautiful day ☀️

I feel sluggish but not as bad as I have done. I have been wanting to listen to Russell Brand’s podcast and he did one with Brené Brown called Vulnerability and Power which I’ve added the link to. It’s was really calming to listen to while walking the dogs up to the old golf course. It was hoodie weather but beautiful.

View over towards Lugton

About 8.38 minutes in Brené talks about her life of sobriety. She says that when your sober there is no release from angst, there is no rapture, there is no angelic choir that surrounds you, it’s just small moments of understanding and self love and integrity with a lot of horse shit in between…. that really struck a chord with me as I don’t ever get away from how I feel if that makes sense. There is no “let’s just have a drink” and that makes it all better anymore.

Looks like clouds rolling in from the sea but they’ve never come to anything yet
Stunning views down to the Lochs
Looking down to Beith
I mad them pose but Bhru and Freya were knackered with all the running around!
The old golf course ⛳️
Calaidh off on her own foraging as she always does!
Here they come!
Spiders webs in the dew
Heading home… much slower pace than when we headed out!!
I am trying to do this through the week but as it’s Saturday I’m just taking this as a down day.
This is good to read and it’s helps ground the anxiety
I wheeled Grans chair outside reclined it and did some crochet! 🧶

I then went onto Suzanne Robichaud’s webpage and downloaded a meditation to try to reduce my reaction to triggers. I lay back set it on and fell asleep…. woke up at the end. Hope I managed to get some of it in my sleepiness but will do it again tomorrow. I love the sound of her voice.

My in-laws had lunch in the pub next door so I popped in to see them for a wee chat. The brought our washing back and it smells just as wonderful as I knew it would!

Wee Cookie popped in to see her pup pals!
My lovely in-laws!

We are off out for dinner tonight with Dave and Angela who we know through Overland Bound. I must head for a shower before we go and will post this now. My heads not been right but I have tried my best to fix it. I have got thru 100% of this and will keep on doing so.

This made me smile. I put on the weigh when I first went off sick but can still use this to my advantage 😆

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Day 178 a beautiful day ☀️yet my anxiety is doing cartwheels ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️

This has really helped me understand my anxiety

It’s glorious today. Pure blue skies, sunshine and it’s hot. (well I say that and I’ve finally sat out in it at time of writing and it’s not as hot as I thought…. 🙊🤣)

Anyway, that aside…. we went down to Tartan Campers with Abbie today to pick the material we want for the new captains’ seats.

Dark grey vinyl with teal flashes and the grey tartan seat base 💺 chuffed with it! The Tartan will have the teal stitching 🧵 through it too. (The photo has changed the dark grey vinyl to light grey but it’s not!)
Took a sneaky pic of Abz at Tartan Campers

She’s getting some upgrade work done at the end October and I found out today they could need her for two or three weeks. Perfect timing for someone coming to see the Beetle on Sunday then eh?!? While that’s very welcome news…. Mr Sod is exerting his law again?!? I have mulled this over all day…. so we keep the Beetle as we need it or allow her to come and see it. I’ve changed my mind all day but I’m going with let her come to see it and if it sells then I have to deal with it.

Of course the Beetle needs valeted again as Craig has been using it for work while the Jeep has been sans clutch but I can get that done tomorrow.

Don’t know if I said the Jeep is back now and Craig says the new clutch feels great and it’s looking A-MAZING. 😍

Sooooo shiny after a mini valet today!

Had a lovely wee visit to Gayle’s shop today but my anxiety wouldn’t let me relax there either 🤪

Overthinking what I wanted to buy as a gift…. and then had someone queuing to get in…. made me “panic” in the calmest sense of the word, rush my browsing and feel like I’d hardly seen Gayle or the whole of the shop…. it’s just the anxiety telling me that I’m not good enough and second guessing my every thought.

A perfect summary of my day

I had 5 calls to make for Pawsitive Solutions and I actually calmed down when I started making them…. oh how I laugh typing that sentence. The calls had me sick with worry less than 3 months ago. Now I’m saying they calmed me down 🤨 it’s ok I hear myself….. but I can’t tell you how much better it makes me feel to write it down.

I heard the door bell and Craig appeared beside me with a huge bouquet…… 💐

I was the lucky one today and got flowers delivered from mum and dad! So unexpected and lovely 💕 awwwwwwww!

I’m just questioning everything in my mind. Those things that usually sit well with me are under scrutiny. I fully believe that I’m in a much better place now than I have been for a long time. I’m aware I have no job…. the old me would have been terrified by that. The new me thinks there are loads of ways to make money without having to surrender myself to a corporate entity again. The old me sneers at that.

I think that’s another problem… the house is a a state due to the renovation in the bathroom. I feel overwhelmed but stuff. Everywhere I look there is more stuff. I’m stressing because I want to clear it all at once but am changing my mind about what’s the most important. I’m running round achieving nothing.

And most of all I am tired. I need to have a wee nap and then it all might just be ok.

Sorry for the negative tone today. I have put myself down in every conversation I’ve had. I can hear it and I cringe and try and turn it around. That, in itself, is tiring.

Think I’ll take tomorrow as a good one.

Stay safe everyone ⭕️⭕️⭕️

Day 177 wee morning out with Mum 💜 in the sunshine ☀️ then dinner in Greenock 🥘

Up with gym boy again today but fell back asleep and then was the coos tail trying to get everything done this morning!

It’s a beautiful morning. Headed over to mums….. as first thing as my sleeping in would allow…. still got there for 10.05 which is later than I wanted but not bad going.

As an aside, I find if I have a lot to do in a day then I get a bit anxious when it doesn’t run exactly to my strict timelines. Just chill pet!!!

Lovely to see mum but due to COVID-19 there were no hugs or kisses which is very strange and feels alien to me. It feels rude but it is what it is. I’m sure in years to come physical hugs will be a thing of the past which is very sad.

Was lovely to see her. I took some pictures of all of her flowers as there are so many and they are stunning!

All stunning!! She could start a flower shop!
We went out to the Pentland Hills Cafe Express at Flotterstone
So glad I had the crochet blanket for mum to sit on as she feels the cold really easily just now.
Wee selfie 🤳
Peppermint slice was out of this world!!!
St James the Less, Penicuik

This is the church I grew up in. We were all members of the church choir for years and Dad is the organist. Dad was up cutting the grass today so we went up for a wee drive after coffee to see him.

I grew up playing in these church grounds after every Sunday service and every choir practice. It’s lovely to see it on such a nice day. Got a wee pic of mum leaning against the tower while I negotiated the new Labyrinth that they just cut into the grass as the new ministers request.

Mum testing against the tower wall while I ran around the Labyrinth
It’s designed so that people can walk round in thoughtful contemplation or prayer
I of course had to walk round it like a loony to see if it worked!! It did!

Got introduced to the new minister who had a lovely old collie dog called Jep. She was so nervous I couldn’t get her to come to me… believe me, I tried!!

So very true.

I had calls to make when I came back and the hours since 2pm have just disappeared….. I did sit out and start this!

Sorry this is so late tonight but we drove out to Greenock tonight to meet Dave Spinks for dinner. He’s the DIRECTOR of Overland Bound for Western Europe. Oooooooh!

Saw some stunning views on the way but could take pics as I was driving…. saw a stunning sunset from the window in the restaurant and couldn’t take pics due to social distancing and we were eating…

A great night with a great catch up! Dave will be pleased to know I did get a pic of him!!

Dave “Thatchers” Spinks!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Day 176 first day Volunteering after hols & Crochet Hookers anniversary!! 🧶

Weakened by the gym alarm at 5.30 but managed to get back to sleep until 7.15am.

We had to have Jeepey McJeepface at the garage for 8am for the clutch replacement.

All sad at the garage again but we might finally have it working in the next few days!!

I was out for 9.30 this morning so I could get on with volunteering and be home sharp. 2pm Before I was finished and home!! Everyone was ready for a great chat since I’d been away last week. Was lovely to catch up but I’m done talking now for ages…. we’ll at least until tonight with the Crochet Hookers 🧶 🧶 🧶

Volunteering is taking up a large part of my day now but it’s because I chat and am interested in what people have to say. I learn so much from them about their lives and the local area.

I’ve felt ok today as I know that I won’t have time to do much else but things are still rumbling round in my head. I think I’ll make a list for Friday and get it all done then. Why is it you don’t worry about anything when it’s on a list?!? Takes all the pressure out. Going to see my mum tomorrow for the first time since her op so that will be good.

Now I still have to work at this….

I still can’t be truly honest about things that make get to me as I still don’t want to hurt other people. My triggered reaction is to say things are fine. Rather than… well actually blah blah blah. What I say and what I do are in harmony but sometimes what I think is not. that’s the next thing to be more aware of.

This is really important and I’ve talked about this a lot. I try to do this all the time.
Absolutely. I feel I have a whole new outlook on life now that I’m “unemployed”… not sure why I felt the need to put that in inverted commas but I did. Life is so much simpler now, less complicated. Straight forward.
Forgot to post a pic of these the other day. Hydrangeas from Claire’s garden. So lovely!

So tonight is the anniversary of the Crochet Hookers group! 🧶

I joined a crochet class last year as my neighbour Anne said she was going and it would get me out and about. I’d always wanted to crochet as Gran made me a blanket when I was young and I’ve used it ever since, in every house I’ve lived in.

Grans crochet work!

It took me a good few months to master but soon after that I realised how much I loved it!!

My blanket!
A baby blanket for a girl who loved orange 🍊
A horse blanket I was asked to make! 🐴
And finally Craig’s blanket…. down on the ground, straightened up and Calaidh lies down with the ball 🎾!!!!!

Just have to finish Craig’s blanket off now and edge it and then it’s done.

Crochet has been a huge part of my mental health journey as it allowed me to focus on something creative and calm my mind. I used to sit and crochet for hours on end. The Crochet Hookers are a lovely bunch who have been so instrumental in my healing. They are always so supportive and have made me smile on some of my worst days.

This is so very true. We should embrace each new day and don’t carry anything from today
The bathroom is plastered… another step done.
These are some motivational plaques I have up in the kitchen
I don’t always look at them as they are always there
But I did today and thought they were worth sharing

Stay safe everyone 🧡🧡🧡

Day 175 some days are sent to try us but I’m having a nap instead 😴😴

The day starts with TORRENTIAL rain which I did not see coming in our wee mini heatwave. I’m awake early about 6.30am and can hear it from bed.

Remember how I had left the camping stuff airing…. outside?!?!? Now absolutely soaking of course. Thankfully I’d brought the air bed into the house so that was one less thing soaked.

So in my new positive way, I see that it all got a good wash and it’s gonna dry in our planned 20C heat today.

I decided to do the food shopping early this morning and heading to Abbie the camper van just after 8am. She was as dead as a dodo. Flat as a pancake. I leave her for one week and she does.

So back in the house for the key to the Beetle. Honestly that car has been a bloody lifesaver! I don’t know what we would have done without it! Went up to Aldi in Johnstone.

I don’t drive anywhere near as much as I used to and I found the traffic incredibly busy along with the torrential rain and the spray. I had to concentrate way more than I have needed to in the past… but I got there.

Shopping done, home and put away… well Craig did most of that! Went off to make Pawsitive Solutions calls and booked 2 jobs… boom!

Then…… drum roll 🥁 🥁 🥁 I had my first haircut since before lockdown!!!!! It really needed a tidy up and Elaine across the road has built a wee salon into the back of her house! Should have taken a photo!! It’s so smart.

It’s all tidied and straight for the first time in life… forever! Have to put a pic in here as no one else will get to see it!

Back home after haircut and I honestly haven’t felt the best today. I was antsy but very tired. Anxious, out of breath and for no reason whatsoever. The house is all over the place just now because of the bathroom renovations. We have all the tiles in the bedroom. All the bathroom extras in the hall. Stoor everywhere!!!!!!

So I think the reason today was I didn’t work from a list… I tried to let myself off the list hook and then stressed about not doing some things while I concentrated on others. One of those days.

I had the best nap for 45 mins and then was woken by the doorbell. Holly (next door) delivered pub Lasagne, garlic bread and coleslaw at 3.30pm totally out of the blue, so amazing! We are so lucky!

Abbie the camper is back up and running fully charged so Claire and I drove down to Largs to give her a run before volunteering tomorrow.

Sun setting in Largs
Sunset girls
Into Nardinis for ice-cream…. so many flavours!
2 scoop tubs!!
My new mask from Craigie. I am making a scary face for some strange reason
The Cumbrae Ferry
And again!
Abbie posing at the seaside!
Post sunset 🌅 selfie 🤳

What a lovely evening and the perfect relaxing end to an anxious antsy day. Just lovely.

Sleep well and stay safe everyone 🌅 🍦 😎

Day 174 “back to auld claes and porridge” but the sun in shining☀️ which always helps….

My grandad used to say “back to auld claes and porridge” after a holiday… so carrying on the tradition!

Needless to say while a return from holiday is nowhere near as traumatic in my new non corporate life my mind was very much still “on” overnight last night. Seemed to be up and down to the loo like a yo-yo 🪀!!

That’s said it’s been a good day and I have ticked loads off my list…

The plumber was in at 9 and has lifted the bathroom floor and put gyprock on the dry wall but the wet wall is currently being heated to try to dry it out. I can see my redundancy going on electricity today!!

Felt a real spring in my step when I was out with the dogs. An energy that I haven’t felt for a while and it felt good.

Bhru and Freya out while Calaidh was at work. It’s really close today..

I had to look up the definition of close weather as I write things as I speak it makes me wonder if it’s unique to Scotland or general language.

Had 7 calls for Pawsitive Solutions today so started them.

Then Claire and I went over to the Memorial Hall Gateside to check the oil to see if we needed more and had a whole palaver trying to get the lid open to take test the fill level. Had to go and get Robert Marshall to show us what to do…. we are now fully trained in the art of oil level measuring. Started a wee spreadsheet when I came home to keep a track of oil orders…. of course I did… love a wee spreadsheet me.

Claire then came in for a cuppa and we sat outside which is lovely to do as reckon this is going to be the last spell of warm weather this week…. the pups were so pleased to see her!

Then I sent a email to Tartan Campers asking them to confirm when Abbie the campervan will get her renovation and asking a few questions about additional work. This has been bugging me for about a month now. Took my half an hour at most to do it… bugged me for way longer than that!!

Then I sorted insurance for the Beetle….

Yes… the Beetle that is up for sale (still) and yet still needs insurance. That’s ok. It’s done now and to be fair Craig is using it more than I have done in the last few years until Jeepey’s clutch is fixed. (Booked in Wednesday but no sign of actual clutch yet so may have to cancel….)

Hmmm then I decided in my wisdom that the camping stuff should be unpacked to get it all cleaned ready for the winter storage.

The tent at the back door

The air bed is out airing… (I chuckled 🤭 at that!) and the groundsheet is on the line drying though I think it oils do with a good hose down.

All afternoon I was toying with doing a food shop… would I, won’t I? Finally came to the conclusion that my head wasn’t ready for a food shop if I could decide whether to go or not. Just as well I never as my father-in-law was coming at 4.30 to pick up the washing!! Lucky I didn’t go out.

I’ve had a lovely FaceTime with mum.

All the while being driven insane by Bhruic who obviously thinks there is a visitor or visitors in our garden that need to be aware that she is here to protect us. Honestly she has barked on and off at it/them all afternoon. Thankfully my meds still leave me with enough of a “meh” attitude as I do feel I should currently be freaking out about what she is barking at. But I’m not.

Oh I got a lovely gift all the way from my primary one best bud who now lives in Canada 🇨🇦 …. we’ve only been back in touch in the last few years through FB which is a wonderful thing… being in touch that is… not FB. Well it’s not bad but you know what I mean!

Isn’t that lovely!! A wee “hame-knitted” coin purse 👛 made with love and to make me smile. She wishes me prosperity, love and happiness!!!
I can honestly say that I believe this now.

I’m tired now…. have got work to finish off so better get on with that, then put the bin out for uplift at ridiculous o’clock tomorrow morning. Then I might relax. A productive day!

Stay safe everyone 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇨🇦🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Day 173 last day of holidays and COVID-19 changes in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I slept like an actual log last night. Out…for…the….count! Must have been exhausted from all that crochet that I’d done yesterday 🤔🤭 Certainly didn’t do anything else apart from make coffee, food and go to the loo!

I’ve had a productive day so far without actually planning it. I’ve snuck up on some housework and got things into a semblance of order in time for some normality kicking in tomorrow. There is no point, mid bathroom renovations, in cleaning the house but I’ve done my best to make it look less like a building site.

I’ve made our teeny, tiny, wee spare bathroom into a slightly more acceptable alternative until the main bathroom is finished. I’ve put a pleat in my hair so I don’t have to wash it and limit the bruising that’s likely in the smallest shower cubicle in the world. When you are used to an over bath shower 🛀🏼 it’s the most claustrophobic wee cupboard!

I’ve unpacked and put two washings on and prepared two bags for my lovely in laws as my mother-in-law always offers to help with the washing after a holiday. After days of saying no, no, no it’ll be fine…. I’ve given in today when I realised that packing it up gives me more space and less mess. I now have tidy dirty washing. What’s not to love?!?

It also smells sooooooo good when she does it. I’ve bought all the same products she uses in the past but never can create that same freshness when she does the washing. She may just be lucky that she doesn’t have the hair of 3 dogs to deal with but I’m looking forward to it already. My mum always wishes she was closer to do things like this too.

Popped through to Claire’s for a cuppa and caught up on the news for the last week. Had a lovely wee pet with Bruce the handsome cat. Should have taken a pic.

So I’m back in Gran’s chair with my feet up, writing this. Planning more crochet 🧶 and nothing much else. Craig picked someone potatoes for dinner and he’s got Stovies in the slow cooker for himself and I’m going to have a Baked Potato with tuna as he is using up sausages in his Stovies and I just can’t…

Stovies are just potatoes 🥔 sausages, onion and stock all boiled up together. I read a recipe there which said it was a frugal dish and I guess that’s because it’s a kind of use up meal. I do like corned beef 🥩 Stovies just not the sausage ones.

Really liked this… was so lovely to have someone just to listen when I felt really bad. Not to give the answer, not to give advice but just understand how bad it was.

Here in the UK we’ve experienced a spike in COVID-19 cases where the R number is now between 1 and 1.2. This means for every person infected another 1 or 1.2 people become infected. These numbers sent us into lockdown in March.

Scotland’s R number estimate roughly 0.9 to 1.3 by the looks of this graph
This is the week leading up to 9th September
We’re in Ayrshire and Arran
Most up to date figures

So more changes from tomorrow, only 6 people can meet from 2 households again. We just have to work with what we have and make the best of it.


Stay safe everyone 🧡🧡🧡

Day 172 sleep 🛏 crochet 🧶 wood burning stove 🔥 if Carlsberg did rest days

Not sure that’s a great title for today’s blog from someone who gave up the booze a few years back (minus 2 days!) but hey…. it says it all.

Wow 💕
Don’t read too much into the “I’m going to be easy…” I know some of you sniggered at that. The rest of it is perfect!

Sitting in Gran’s recliner chair with my feet up (obviously!) next to what we call Nana’s wood burning stove. (Bought with some money when she died.)

Ahhhhhh that’s better, instant comfort, instant heat. I love the outdoors but this is a lovely way to spend a holiday Saturday, safe and cosy together in our house.

I am diligently crocheting 🧶 Craig’s blanket…. since it was never finished before holiday I am now aiming for Christmas…. I mean well before Christmas. Well before…. 😬 (I’m half way down this blog and he’s just said “have you finished it yet”….. he can see I’m on my phone again…. 🙄🤣)

I’ve been thinking a lot about an uncomfortable subject…. I wonder if I should have handled things better, what I could have done differently but part of my healing was to set boundaries where I distanced myself from the things and particularly people that created stress for me for one reason or another.

You have to set boundaries as you can’t be everything to everyone and try to put yourself first at the same time. Those that make you work for friendship, those that aren’t in touch when things go sour, those that don’t know how to deal with it… all have an affect on your mental health.

While I firmly believe it’s my reaction to the “things that broke me” that caused the breaking down I also believe I have to stay away to keep my strength.

If you’re off work with a broken leg, people send you flowers and lots of well wishes. If you’re off work with mental health then it’s a whispered, taboo subject and people stay away so as not to upset you. Those that did get in touch meant a lot as they had broken the mould and reached out.

I feel this is quite a negative subject for my blog as I try to focus on the positive but setting boundaries is a very hard thing to do and the positive for me is that it was a lifesaver. If I speak my truth I will be calm.

A good clear out of Facebook is a great place to start. I used to think that building numbers of friends was the answer to everything. I now realise it’s the quality of friendships that matter.

The fear is real every day, I don’t want to cause upset or hurt but I need to look out for me
To break the negative vibe!! 🍪 🍪 🍪 🤣
We all need to focus on and believe in the good
My wish for you all

I realise there are a bunch of new rules for COVID coming into place over the next few days so I’ll get a look at them when I stop being on holiday…. how long can we milk it eh?!

Stay safe everyone 🦥🦥🦥

Day 171 Jeepey McJeepface got us home despite poorly clutch! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I may have mentioned a million times before but we hate the wind these days…. now keeping it clean of course I mean the incessant noise while you’re camping. It was very windy overnight but still had an amazing sleep as the wind break had been exceptional… it does exactly what it says on the tin. 😬 to quote an old UK advert!

The rain is coming too
And Saturday into Sunday is really bad….

Coffee and breakfast and decide to take the dogs down to the beach again. We are thinking about going home 2 days early….

Off down to the beach
Ready to run!!
It’s a nice morning though really windy!
Got a bit arty!
We found some sea!
I had to resort to Buff over ears!
Boat going nowhere…
The clouds are getting darker
Is there a train coming?
Same wildlife here
Calaidh has to be different

So we decided to pack up and go home to beat the weather.

Leaving the campsite
Rain starts less than 5 mins after we leave
Back in Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
Kept getting worse!

So we got home after 3 and the sun was shining! Everything out the car and into the house and we even remembered the dogs!

Calaidh chilling on the journey
The dogs look so p*d off!! Even Craig says “it’s not like you don’t have a million pictures the same”…
Good old Jeepey😍

While we were away we were getting the bathroom done but they hit a snag… looks like we are getting water in the back wall of the house as the joists as really wet.

Soggy bottom
Wot no toilet or sink?!?

So we now need the back wall rendered and the whole bathroom plastered. The plumber knows a plasterer but we’re on our own with a Renderer if that’s even a word?!?

Not surprisingly we are now in the village pub celebrating with a Becks Blue. Well I am… good to be home but we’ve had a good break.

I love this!

Getting up to speed on the new COVID rules from Monday apparently… only 6 people to meet and from only 2 households. All change again.

Stay safe everyone 😍😍😍