I had a really strange anxiety reaction start to the day. Clean bed last night was amazing but I’d already done 412 steps by the time I got up which shows there were a few nighttime trips to the loo??!
So Craig let the dogs out their room and they were so excited, jumping all over us. Craig was in a good mood winding them up and there was loads of noise.
I’d just realised a double booking with my breakfast with Claire and lunch booked in the pub for 1.30. Mrs health kick couldn’t possibly do both. So I was dealing with that mentally too.
To add to all that I decided we needed new camping chairs too. For some reason they had to be purchased in that specific 5 minutes… which is totally ridiculous. We don’t need them.
There was far too much noise in my head and my clean bed was covered in dog hair.
It didn’t last long. Literally a few minutes before I realised I was completely overwhelmed and overreacting.
So the best thing to fix all that was a lovely breakfast at Auchengree Farm with Claire. We’ve not been there for about 6 months.
I had a roll and scrambled egg with a very strong Americano, Closely followed by a peppermint tea to wash away the strong coffee! 😬😆 nothing beats a good chat to blow away the cobwebs.
Claire and I took two cars as we can’t yet car share due to COVID regulations. I,of course, had to take Craigs car and of course the fuel light came on! £91.05 later?!?!?!?
I’ve had a quiet afternoon. My head was buzzing so I eventually did a mediation.
What a dreich day today…. it is such a fine rain and it really does soak you. We always laugh at this raining as all rain soaks you but I bet you know what I mean!!
I woke at 6am and dozed on and off until 7 when I conked right back out until just before 9am! A nice wee lie in.
We had to drive down to Tartan Campers this morning to pick up springs I’d had delivered for Abbie the camper van and drop them off at the garage.
Instead of being super stressed at a potentially high bill, I am so excited to get the van fixed and be able to drive over potholes without feeling that the van is about to fall apart. She won’t be ready until at least Monday so no gallivanting for me this weekend. I have to be a home bird.
And plus…. it’s RAINING!!!!
We went to the Co-op to pick up some healthy food to keep us going this weekend.
We had a wee issue to check out in the Village Hall across the road as the heating has stopped working. Rachel-two-doors-down (as she will forever be known) met me over there and we managed to diagnose the issue. We are soooooo clever. 🙌
I could just leave it there and have kudos for fixing the heating.
Sadly not though as it would appear we have just run out of oil…. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤔😬😆 so we have to take it up with she who orders the oil……
Yup….. me, myself and I. Dammit.
The hall is closed just now due to COVID regulations so I assume we have 3/4 of a tank of oil for when we open back up. Hmmmmmm…. yes but the heating comes on for 4 hours a day to keep the hall from getting damp. Of course. Forgot about that.
Since I’d got a bit wet checking the level of the huge EMPTY oil tank….I thought I’d take the dogs out.
The rain is bringing everything into boom!
Back home and into dry comfies (not that I really wear anything else these days!)
I’ve washed the bedding so we get clean bed tonight which is something to look forward to. Life in the fast lane eh?!?
I’m actually going to start with last nights dog walk as the sky was amazing.
So the alarm went off at 4.45am and we went off to the Farm. Not gonna lie I struggled to get out of bed this morning. My body has gone from complete junk food to clean eating overnight. I feel amazing on one hand but tired and also a bit sad on the other that not only do I not drink but now I can’t eat either (I know that is ridiculous!!!)
The session was amazing though and started with a 500m run…. all before 6.10am!!!
I have no photos of today as I was a bit all over the place. Maybe lack of sugar and lack of caffeine taking its toll. I made a lovely Fit Body Farm smoothie for breakfast which I drank in the shower getting ready to go meet mum in Livingston for 9.30am. Yes drinking smoothies in the shower is not conducive to mindful eating…. I was also worried about the van.
Abbie has not been the smoothest ride recently😬😆🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ (I know…. I know…..) it’s been like driving a shed, not that I really know what that feels like.
Every bump in the road has felt like a crater. It’s been like driving a bone shaker. Yip again…. no previous experience?!!
So I got to Livingston for 9.45am as I had to stop for fuel at Harthill Services! BIG mistake!! How expensive?!?
It was so lovely to see mum. We went straight for a Costa coffee. As we do!
We had a good wander round the shops. Primark of course. What is it about that shop that draws so many people?!? I got some cheap gym clothes as hopefully I won’t be this size soon.
The centre was surprisingly quiet which was great but got a bit busier later on just as we were leaving. Good thinking eh?!?
I had a great drive home until I got to Glasgow Airport. The steering wheel took on a pretty big wobble and there was a clunking noise from under the bonnet.
I got the fear! Pulled into the entrance to the Showcase Cinema in Linwood which is still closed due to COVID and called the AA.
I had to open all the windows and put a mask on until they got to me. I was very lucky they arrived within 15 minutes!
Soooo, it turns out I have a leaking near side front shock absorber… hence the bone shaker drive…. AND possibly fused brake discs….. hence the wheel wobble.
The AA guy eventually followed me the 12 miles or so home until I let him know I was ok and he turned back to Glasgow. What a service eh?
I phoned my local garage and she’s in there now waiting for repair tomorrow.
By the time I got home around 4.30pm I was a bit all over the place. I’m hungry but I haven’t planned my healthy eating properly. I’m a grab and go kind of eater at the moment. Everything I’ve been eating up until now has been processed in some away to make prep as fast as possible. Or its a takeaway.
When I stopped drinking back in January 2019, I felt really sad that I “couldn’t” drink… even although it was my choice. I think today I feel very sorry for myself that I can’t just pig out.
The positive to take from that is that I have enough willpower that I will not eat junk food but sit in a childlike huff because I want to!!
Claire and I went for a walk to walk off my huffiness and it really did work. It’s a cold but beautifully sunny evening.
The moral of the story today is to plan your meals. Yessir. Will do.
So yes it’s polling day in Scotland but we vote by postal vote so it doesn’t feel like a thing today….. but it is. Thought it important to show how COVID will obviously effect voting as it effects everything else. This strange new world we live in.
It’s been a busy day today, it’s 17.34 and I don’t feel like I’ve drawn breath. I had a lie in until 6.45am. Felt wonderful. My muscle pain has eased off a lot today but I do still feel pretty tired. I think this is a legit tired tired rather than anxiety/depression exhaustion tired though.
5 hours at Tartan Campers followed by lunch then an hour of dog behavioural calls, followed by the lovely Tapping Group that I attend online monthly.
So lovely to connect with like minded folks. Most of us have never met but we share a common purpose in taking time out to care for ourselves.
I say I didn’t draw breath but tapping is a great way of changing your energy levels and allowing you to breath more deeply…. it also makes me want a nap!
Don’t worry I won’t take photos of my meals all the time but here is lunch, it’s a huge part of my journey as she who’d rather shove a pizza in the oven is following salad recipes. 😲
This had fresh basil and parsley 🌿 among lots of other things…. with a squeeze of lemon juice 🍋 oooooh.
After tapping I did another few hours of dog calls and then I’m off for the weekend! I love that Thursday is my new Friday!
It’s a lovely sunny evening by the looks of things so will get the dogs out for a walk after dinner I reckon.
6am Fit Body Farm training tomorrow again then hopefully off to meet mum for some shopping! Finally!
What a difference a day makes getting up early. My days seem to have so much time in them. A chance to do so many things. Yet today I had to have a nap…. but that is ok…. I really needed it.
Alarm was set for 4.45am. I was up straight away making a porridge concoction for breakfast which was really lovely and had lots of nutrition in it.
We split into two teams of 9 and while one team tried to scored points sinking baskets, the other team had to complete challenges on bikes, rowing machine and ski machine. I did 500m on the bike, 500m on the skier and 250m on the rowing machine…. and sunk loads of baskets all before 7am!!
I secretly congratulate my 12 year old self for enjoying basketball.
It was amazing. I really enjoyed it and didn’t feel for a minute like we were exercising…. ok I lie I was bloody knackered but I was enjoying every minute of it and it didn’t feel like a chore. The hardest part is getting out of bed. Once you’ve done that it all just flows from there.
So I got a shower at the Farm and then drove on a completely new route to work, it was a beautiful drive but I hit a bone shaker of a pot hole at one point.
I drove past the most beautiful row of cottages called Perceton Row they were all pure white and the sun was shining. There is a red telephone box in the middle of the row which just adds to the quaintness of it all. I would have loved to stop and take a photo!!
I got to Tartan Campers at 7.45am and spent the first half hour blitzing the bathroom…. fully cleaned and swept and bleached.
By the time I sat down at my desk I actually could have slept but it’s no wonder really.
It’s a beautiful morning and only stayed to cloud over as I drove home. Got out with the dogs.
I came back home to study the Fit Body Farm Nutrition and started reading then woke up an hour and a half later. Nana nap!!
Musta needed it!!!
Claire messaged about a walk and I thought of a million reasons why I was too tired… then thought bugger it, I’ll go another walk!!
Now for the pièce de résistance…. I followed a recipe and cooked dinner.
My, myself and I.
Butterfly chicken pizza with onions, peppers and goats cheese, with parsnip and sweet potato fries with Pak Choi 🥬 and broccoli 🥦. It tasted so good.
Now I’m tired again… and to be fair it’s almost our new bedtime. I get a lie in tomorrow morning! 6.30am….. yay!
It’s a standing joke on the Avery side of the family to see who can be first to say this on the 4th May. Of course mother in law wins again…. think that’s two or three years in a row!! I swear she sets an alarm….. 😆
I slept like a log last night, really out for the count. Shows what an early rise and going to a Fit Body Farm class can do.
I have struggled to move as the day has gone on.
I had a great day at Tartan Campers today. I have to say that I feel like I’m in a very good mood altogether.
I was listening to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast today where she interviews the football Ian Wright. I didn’t think I would be that interested as he was a footballer but turns out he suffered from domestic abuse when he was around the age of 9 onwards, sadly at the hands of his mum and step dad. It was a really interesting listen.
I had no abuse in my life whatsoever and yet really struggled with my mental health so I commend anyone who is able to rise above something like that.
The reason it struck a chord with me is that he talked about returning to that dark place or anger and rejection when someone showed him love, as if he was waiting for it to fail. He felt safe thinking all the bad thoughts and sinking into that bad place as if it’s a comfortable, easy place to be.
I have felt that at times. Felt that it’s safer to be down and be sad as no one expects anything from me when I’m like that. It’s lovely to be able to admit to myself and everyone else that I actually feel pretty goddam good just now. I couldn’t have done this before. There would always have been something.
Check me…….. 🥰
So after work I stopped in past Primark to take stuff back (that was WAY too small!) and popped into Asda to pick up some bits and pieces before heading home.
There are a lot of people not wearing masks in the shops just now. I know we are meant to show compassion to those who can’t wear masks but I do find myself wondering why so many people can’t wear masks. It’s hard not to judge and wonder if they just don’t want to. None of us want to but it’s part of our country’s COVID-19 recovery process…. still I’m trying to think positively that there’s a good reason for it.
Anyway not sure how I got on to that??? Off out with the dogs and it stayed dry. Every looks so much more green after the one day of heavy rain yesterday!
When I came back home I cleaned Abbie out. She was full of sand and Bhruic hair after our trip to Croy Beach on Sunday. She looks lovely now so everyone had to take their shoes off when they get in…. 🤣🤣 I wish!!
So yeah, another lovely day. I’m now in agony and struggle to put one foot in front of the other but it’s all good. Bring on the gym again tomorrow morning and have my weight in booked for 5.45am! Alarm set!
I’m sitting writing this in Abbie, in the village hall car park and I really should go in the house. I love this space.
Well if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. 🏋🏻♀️🤸🏻♂️🤼♀️⛹🏻♀️🏊🏼♀️🤽🏼♀️🚣🏽♀️🏄🏼♀️🚴🏼♀️
So yeah I have decided to join Mr Sporty Spice in his early morning gym classes……. I mean……come on…….. check me???? The sloth goes to the gym?!? Will the real Julie Avery please stand up????
I decided last week that I am ready to face the challenge head on. Enough is enough. I feel ok until I see a photo of myself and I realise how big my weight gain has actually been. I’m no longer prepared to dress in baggy clothes as I’m uncomfortable showing my body. Then seeing it in a photo when I thought it was covered up?!?!?!
I have felt fat my whole life. There are so many photos I look at and think how bad I felt at the time. The only time I felt good is when I was dieting. I was taking control.
So I have joined the Fit Body Farm near Kilmaurs and am taking part in their 6 week challenge. The aim is to start on track to a healthier life. This is not a diet but a way of life. 3 workouts a week…… at 6am which is horrifying but makes complete sense at the same time. I prefer to get up early and get my exercise done for the day and I can go and have a shower before I head to work.
I can honestly say that this is meant to be. I am ready for this.
Fit Body Farm is not your average gym…. it’s classes where you are given exercises to do that involve weight, heavy ropes, sleds with weighted bags on them… lots of weird and wonderful stuff.
All the work is done outside just now. (No photos…..!) With masks on to meet up with everyone and all equipment brought out of the gym to be cleaned on return.
Not gonna lie…. the workout was amazing but hard and I did actually feel dizzy and sick half way through. I had to lie down on the ground with my legs up on a step…. he said I’m not the first and I certainly won’t be the last. 🤔🤦🏻♀️😆
I only managed 7 out of the 8 reps we did of this as I lay down in the third or fourth!
We had a chat with Gavin Hogarth the owner after the session and I actually cried (ok I know, why would anyone be shocked at this?!?) when I told him that this is the next step in my journey and everything is falling into place to allow me to spend time working on my health and fitness.
I just need to unzip this protective fat suit I’ve been wearing and step back out.
If you achieve the 6 week challenge targets set (or he can see that you really bust a gut to try) then you get your money back or towards any future membership. The theory being that you get the bug and want to keep going. Obviously.
We got home at 8am, had coffee, listened to the promotional videos, filled out all the questionnaires and paperwork AND I’ve done an online food shop with information from the Fit Body Farm recipes…. PLANNING MY MEALS?!? Whatever next?!?!?!?
I can honestly say that I am soooooooo chuffed with myself right now and I never say that. This is a huge step for me and I am honestly excited to take it. I was even excited taking the before photos as I know I will never look that size again. I haven’t felt hungry at all today because my head is finally in the zone. After all these years of talking about it and realising I was emotionally eating. Trying to stop and never managing it. Deep breath and move on.
Today is Bank Holiday Monday so I’m not working at Tartan Campers today but I did have some dog behavioural calls to make.
Had a few hours in the bedroom office and then came downstairs to our bedroom and have swapped all the clothes around in the wardrobes. Since we moved the room around Craig was always at my side getting his stuff…. can’t be having that now!
I’ve got my feet up and think I’m done for the day. It’s been torrential rain this afternoon which is our first consistent rain in over a month. Typical for a Bank Holidau Monday to be fair. However, the garden looks happier already. It just needed some water.
I also called the COVID-19 vaccination helpline today as so many people in my age group have had their jab and I haven’t. Just wanted to check that I’ve not been missed. They told me I’m booked in for 26th May at 9.05am! Great news!
I also read that there’s a chance we may not need to social distance for too much longer. Is it really possible that we might be getting back to normal soon? I hope so but will all the life lessons we have learned.
People are important. Family, friends and health are all we need. And hugs…. we definitely need hugs again.
I am out of my local council area for the first time in forever. I decided to drive down to Croy Beach (you can click the link to find out more!).
It’s about an hours drive and a better idea than driving to Oban which I was thinking of doing.
I brought Bhruic with me and she’s been so good. It’s so quiet here. I can count 9 groups of people on the whole beach and it’s pretty big. I was awake at 6am and set off for Croy just before 9am. After coffee of course!
Never heard a peep from Bhru the whole trip, she’s a great traveller.
To get there you have to drive up Electric Brae.
From Croy Beach you can clearly see Culzean Castle perched on the cliff edge and across to Alisa Craig.
The light wasn’t the best this morning for my photography…. (in my head I said that in a awfy posh voice with my wee finger sticking out 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤣)
It’s only 12.15pm. I’m sitting here crocheting. Watching 2 folk out sea kayaking now. Hmmmmm awfy tempted to try that. Bobbing about on the waves. Sounds ideal to me.
Don’t worry that poor Craigie is missing out. He’s all good but had to help his step dad this morning and is now watching another Rangers v Celtic derby! He’s quite happy!
I’ve had the loveliest weekend. Blitzing the house on Friday and two days of being out and about exploring and taking photos. I love being outdoors and appreciating nature.
Well I had a rotten sleep in first night of new bedroom and she who does not drink anymore woke up with what can only be described as a hangover! That’s so unfair.
We woke at 4.30am (the one day he wasn’t getting up for the gym!!) and my throat was sore and my head was thumping. The day after I drank lots of water, ate a lovely healthy salad and did lots of housework?!?
I do wonder if it may have been the fresh paint in the bedroom though I can’t smell it?!
Anyway, I’ve not let that spoil the day.
Claire and I met at 8.20am for dog walk. It makes it so much easier when I meet someone to walk otherwise I’d have stayed in bed. There are no photos……. yes I am as shocked as you….. we had a cuppa in our garden afterwards. There wasn’t a breath of wind. So calm and peaceful and no one else seemed to be around.
Then I decided to head to the sea…. be rude not to?!? Housework is done, dogs are walked and Craig’s working. so fear not… here come the pics…. 😆
I got chatting to a couple with a small renovated van who had a 19 week old German Shepherd puppy. She was all fluffy. So puppy and campervan all in one chat. The guy said my wheels were rad. He said my van was the nicest he’s seen and the whole thing was rad. I showed him the interior build and he as away home to google stuff!! I think rad means lovely. 😬😆
I took a walk through the field and down to the main beach this time.
I did chose to walk all over it and almost lost my balance a few times.
This photo above is the bit I usually stand on. It’s the first time I’ve seen it under water.
So I’ve had the loveliest day. I’m back home now for a wee quick nap before we head to the village pub for the first time in at least 6 months if not more.
I did not sleep. The dogs barked every time I almost nodded off. I got up and had a shower instead.
So then….. we went out, out! For the first time since before Christmas and albeit, only next door to the village pub.
I love that I can sit in the pub along with everyone else and not feel left out. I am no longer a drinker and that’s just how it is now. I’m actually very proud. Scotland is getting back to a new normal and it’s really nice to see people and chat. I think we are talking to strangers more than we did before and it’s nice!
We sat out in the bed garden for a few hours until we were frozen to a snotter….. to coin that old Scottish saying.
Home now in front of the fire and starting to thaw out.
I wrote that with the voice of a news anchor. Top headline…. 🤦🏻♀️🤔🤣
I had plans today. Have to go to the bank as Post Office in Johnstone. Need to wash my hair before I do that as the Post Office will take a new photo for my driving licence which needs renewing. Can’t just turn up looking like I usually do. This requires some effort and planning. So it hasn’t happened!!
So despite Mr Sporty Spice waking me at 4.45am…. he had the gym at 6am 😳😱…. on my day off….. I managed to fall back to sleep until he came back in about 7.30am.
I got up just after 8am and had coffee. It was a lovely morning but the weather isn’t meant to be great for the rest of the weekend. Erm….. what’s wrong with this picture?!?!?
I broke one of the fancy mugs he bought before Christmas….. there are two… one is white bottomed. That one is mine. 😬
You should never spend money on anything breakable in a house with 3 Border Collies…. obviously. I could have blamed them but it was me…. hanging up the washing to dry and thought “ooh, should move that mug while I’m hanging the washing right next to it, I might knock it off…..”
Ta dah…….. 🤦🏻♀️😳😬
Moving on…… Craig decided to make up the new shutters for the bedroom today! He has to paint the surrounds first so it’s a big job.
What a difference just like the living room, it’s so much brighter. I could not get my curtains to hang on the curtain poles that were in the house when we bought it. They drove me insane clattering metal rings across the wooden floors every time you opened or shut a curtain. The fleur-de-lis type ends were not removable so there’s a limit to the kind of curtains you could fit. Anyway. No more!!
So while this was all going on…. I snuck up on some housework. Genuinely had no plan to do anything although it badly needed done. I was like a wummin possessed. Did the whole house AND made a lovely salad for lunch…..
Days like today are so lovely. I’ve enjoyed my day, I feel accomplished, I feel decluttered. That’s great for the mind.
I am calm, relaxed and awfy chuffed with myself. I even wonder who I actually am. What planets aligned to allow this smooth and plain sailing day?!
Is it that simple…. I actually stop worrying, stressing and being anxious and just get on with things? I’m not feeling like I wasted a day…. it feels good!
So we also completely changed around the bedroom. We had an old disused fireplace in our bedroom and we’ve taken that away and covered it with the bed instead.
It feels like a new room. I’m lying on the bed after having a lovely chat with mum and my view is so different. Be interesting to get up for the loo in the middle of the night…. where will I end up?!?!?
And finally my new awning has arrived!! We ordered it back in at the end of February and knew it would be the end of April but it’s here finally. Far too tired to do anything with it today after housework-fest so will put it up tomorrow.
A very good day. I’m still in jammies and it’s after 5 but that’s ok. The world is back up and running and Craig and I still haven’t been out anywhere yet but that will come.
Right now I’m happy lying on the bed admiring my room from a new angle. Simple things in life.
Oh and just to add to it all…. Tartan sent a message to say take the day off on Monday as no one else will be in. Oh, ok then, if you’re sure?!? 🤔😬😆