It’s the football Europa League Final tonight and I am surrounded by some very proud Rangers fans. They are playing Eintracht Frankfurt, in Seville, after an amazing journey through the league. It’s stuff that dreams are made of.
I’ve just seen two Rangers tops walk past the front window as I write this! It’s everywhere.
So I’ve decided, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em so I’m going to watch the game tonight. It’s impossible not to get caught up in the excitement!
Craig came home from work, did a food shopping, cleaned the house, walked the dogs…. What’s not to love?! 🤭😆
I woke up at 3am this morning and couldn’t stop thinking… overthinking. I finally got back to sleep but then felt drugged when Craig’s alarm went off at 4.45am.
It was a lovely morning though after a monsoon rain storm last night
The Farm was really hard this morning! Lots of arm work. We were knackered after the class and sooooo got and sweaty.
I get into the shower. Wash hair. Shower.
NO TOWEL!!!!!!
Honestly…… I couldn’t believe it.
The morale of that story is when your gym bag feels light… it is light for a reason. I did a mental “clothes for work” scan… yup all there but the bag was light so something was missing!
I had to dry myself with my sweaty gym gear…. 🤦🏻♀️
Work went really quickly but I got loads done so all good.
So nothing else for it but to settle down with some pizza, alcohol free beers and some good friends and see how this goes down.
I soooo hope that they win. It would be pretty special.
It’s so lovely to get caught in a rain shower sometimes. It clears your head.
I walked out the door and the heavens opened. Too late to turn back, I just got wet.
It’s mild out there today so it was kinda warm rain…. Everything smelled so fresh and looked so green. This last week of rain has brought so much growth.
The sky is lovely despite the rain.
It’s been a testing day… I’ve been a bit too reactive to outside triggers but the triggers are all mine and mine to control.
It’s hard work being in my head sometimes. I think too much, worry too much, care to much, yeah all of the above. If I could switch it off I would have done it long before now.
Healthy eating still on track which is something! I’ve made every meal and eaten fruit and veg I’ve not eaten in months!
Such a dull, dark, dreich day. It’s been dark since 5am… well obviously it was dark all night but you know…… 😆
There was a lunar eclipse last night.
Yup I missed it. 🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🤦🏻♀️
To be fair it poured with rain all night and…. I was also asleep. It has rained almost all day. Super heavy at times.
I was very interested in this… strange feelings may arise….. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🙄😬🤣
I’ve felt so much better today. Only felt a bit dizzy at the Fit Body Farm this morning and that was totally understandable…. given the fact I was having to wheech myself up and down off the ground at a rate of knots!
It was hard this morning but I enjoyed it.
I honestly feel so much better now that I’m back. It was really hard getting up at 5am. I could have cried and felt really sorry for myself. Once I’m out the door it’s fine.
Everything is in bloom in the rain!
My head has been so much better today. I’ve had healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner! All prepared in advance. I actually smiled to myself as I served up dinner.
I dislike stir fry as much as I dislike period drama…. 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣 I’m really enjoying this exploration of my likes and dislikes. Still not a huge fan of stir fry but it was tasty. Love that Bhruic and Freya were so excited by it.
I was super nervous this morning and yet it passed really quickly… I’m sure working out helps my mental health way more than I even thought possible. I’ve felt calm and in control of my emotions today. It’s such a relief after feeling so out of sorts yesterday.
I love this next one. 💜
And this….. just sums up my life!!
And I am more than happy to be Kermit the Frog 🐸
I’m finishing this with a big smile. Kermit the Frog… bring it on.
Day 777 and that’s the best title I can come up with?!?!
My day started early and I sat out on the garden with the dogs for a bit… this is how my morning rolled.
Bhruic in action Calaidh’s nashers
There was a cool wind so I came back inside and put a Downton Abbey on, just to keep quiet until Craig got up. 🤭😬🤣
Claire messaged to see if I fancied a trip to Silverburn Shopping Centre as she knew I was heading to Braehead this morning to take some clothes back. Silverburn had the same shops so that sounded good to me.
I have this thing that I have to be there for shops opening. Not sure why I have that rule in my life but I do. If I don’t go first thing and be there before everyone else then there’s no point in going. If it gets busy then I was there first? 🤦🏻♀️🤣 I subjected Claire to that rule this morning. 🫣
We had a lovely wander around and I took some clothes back and Claire got some amazing bargains. A successful trip all round.
We stopped for coffee in Starbucks and I had the most lovely piece of Pistachio loaf with raspberry icing and a Coconut decaf latte (of course the decaf was thanks to Claire as I always forget to ask for it!)
I’ve honestly not felt right since. I assumed at first they’d given me caffeine. I had a few head spinning dizzy spells towards the end of our time at the shops. I did actually say spizzy dells in my head when I was writing that and couldn’t figure out how to spell it… then corrected myself 🤣🤣🤣 I was scared I might fall over but they passed pretty quickly.
Something doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel Sick just occasionally my head is swimming.
I like the sound of this next one…
When we got home I lay down for an hour but couldn’t sleep. At least I rested.
I spent a bit of time up in the spare room separating out clothes and stuff for charity. I just don’t feel quite right. Uneasy, out of sorts.
I’m actually not irritated but I don’t quite know what to do with myself or where to put myself.
It must the 2 day weekend…. 🤷🏻♀️😆🤣🤣
I’ve had a lazy rest of day…. There’s a chance I think I have finished Downton Abbey!!! What will I do with the rest of my life 🙄😬🫢
We cooked roast chicken, potatoes and veg for dinner. Just how Sundays should be.
I went to bed a slovenly, junk shovelling slob and woke up ready for action…. to take on the day and have taken back control of my fitness and healthy eating. Who knew that was gonna happen?!?
I have no idea what triggered this overnight, or, indeed, how long it may last. 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve said so often that I seem to be better at things when I sneak up on them, surprise myself, rather than actually planning it.
I woke up at 6.30 something, went to the loo and back to bed and started thinking that there was a Saturday class at the Fit Body Farm that I could go to… I had no intentions of going…. I’d read a FB post last night where someone said they’d really enjoyed it yesterday and I knew it would be the same session.
I lay there and thought for 20 minutes.
I said the words to Craig… “I can’t believe I’m even saying this out loud but I’m thinking I could maybe have gone to the Farm this morning”. As soon as I said it I regretted it. As he said go, go, go, I cuddled into the covers and thought no way!!
But the seed was planted. At 6.50am I jumped out of bed to get ready. My plan was to hit the supermarket on the way back to get some food in too. 🥴😬
So yesterday’s carb fest seems to have been the last straw of my stuffing-my-face week.
It’s a lovely, watery looking sun but a quiet start to the weekend.
I am taking back control.
This is also very true!
Now I’m not gonna lie, that was very hard work this morning, the first day back is always the worst…. But I did it and I can honestly say I’ve felt amazing as a result. (I say that lying on a bench in the garden thinking that I probably need a nap but it’s a different kind of tiredness. It’s not the lethargic feeling I’ve had this week, it’s a genuine tiredness because I did so much, so early).
I went straight from the Farm, very sweaty… to Aldi for a food shop and bought loads of healthy food. I felt like I was on a roll.
Came home and cleared out the fridge to put it all away… always hate that bit but needs must 🤦🏻♀️🤣 and then I made a raspberry smoothie for breakfast. I mean, I’m impressed even if no-one else is.
Not gonna give you the recipe 🤣🤣 it was “ok”… did the job but tasted like a smoothie made without following a recipe.
Then I took the puppers out for a walk.
They were so good today! I feel bright and fresh!
It’s a lovely morning after all the rain we’ve been having but it feels like everything has grown so much since I last walked round here. Even the drive to the gym has sprouted greenery over the last week.
I’ve never noticed this ancient gate before.
Back home and had my shower, washed and dried my hair and got a wee table set up in the back garden so I could work on stitching together my crochet blanket!!! I look like an old wummin ootside wi’ ma knitting’ 🤦🏻♀️🤣 (Scottish accent necessary!)
I made a lovely salad lunch! Check me.
At 2.17pm precisely I cut the last end of wool! It’s finished!!
Hallelujah! I think this has been on the go for years. 😆 It’s in the washing machine now so I can square it all up to dry it.
Now what to start next??? I have been wondering aimlessly for the last hour and a half not sure what to do with myself. I’ve hung up a washing but thinking I might go find some other wool to start crocheting something else. I do have plenty of wool to be getting on with. 🫣🤭
I decided to make an early dinner instead… Prawn Pad Thai…. Forgot photos as it was so tasty. Followed by a wee Limoncello dessert. Ooooh I can taste the booze.
I haven’t cooked a single meal for over a week and here I am with 3 today.
I’m heading into Claire’s for a Nosecco and munchies evening…. Which sounds just lovely to me!
A bubbling cauldron of molten lava is ready to spew. Could I be any more dramatic?!?
It’s Friday 13th today and for those of you who are superstitious, I found this rather lovely way of looking at it.
And also this…. Which did make me laugh!
I feel incredibly overwhelmed today. I am overthinking and worrying about things that haven’t even happened. Purely because things don’t seem to be going as smoothly as Little Miss Perfection Pants would like.
Now I know that there’s a chance a lot of this is down to my lack of exercise and very poor diet. A roll with egg and tattie scone for breakfast, chips and curry sauce for lunch and the odd cake thrown in along the way… I could just be buzzing with too many carbs.
I experienced a huge after lunch crash. My teeth feel like they are bleeding sugar, my body has blown up into my clothes and yet my mind is still racing around a 100 miles an hour.
It’s very, very loud inside my head.
I tried writing some of my worries down. it’s one of the techniques they advise and it does help.
It’s this simple. We are very lucky to be very busy at work and I’m all over the place trying to determine what we do for the best. It’s not even my sole decision but I’m just going to fill my head with worry.
Worry is such a waste of time.
I know that it’s only because I care.
I’m home now and we’re having a movie night tonight so I’m in my comfies all ready for a relaxing weekend.
Of course the anxiety has all gone now.
And this time last week we had just freed Abbie the Camper van from her mud pit so today has been way less stressful on the grand scheme of things 🤦🏻♀️😳😆
Let’s just put it down to being one of those days.
I have no words of wisdom tonight. I’m tired. I woke really early and just lay and dozed until the alarm.
It was a busy day at work and I came straight home and got stuck into the housework. It had been neglected after our weekend away.
I did a quick run round and the house feels much better.
I just had Mini Cheddars and cheese for dinner… I know…. I’m still just self indulging. 🤣🤣 other call it being lazy!
I have to work tomorrow as we have a customer in and there as no one to cover. You know I hate a 5 day week but I need Friday and Monday next week for a weekend away. At least this gets my 2 day weekend out the way….. listen to me. I used to work 10-12 hour days and now I’m tired at the thought of a 5 day week. Funny how you change your mindset.
At least I have a 4 day weekend to look forward to next week!
So true!!! I love this ♥️♥️♥️
That’s all from me! The washing’s ready to be hung up. Housework Thursday could become a thing. 😆
I woke up at 23.37 last night and worried I’d be awake all night… not so… up at 6.30am with the alarm.
I’m punishing myself a bit by not going to the Farm. My knee has been sore and I feel a bit down so I can’t be bothered making the effort. i can’t be bothered shopping, eating and looking after myself.
I know exactly why all of this is happening and that it’s a vicious circle. I feel more lethargic as a result of my bad diet but my bad diet helps me feel better at the time and cheers me up…. I think feel more lethargic after the sugar rush crashes.
I need to allow myself to rest and it’s ok to stuff my face sometimes but I wish I had a bit more willpower.
Anyway.. I was all over the place this morning at work. Very anxious. Overreacting to everything.
I’m bothered by something at work. I feel I could have done something better and I experience intense guilt at anything like that. Irritated by what’s gone wrong and think of a million things that might have presents a different outcome. I should say this is far from the end of the world but I realised mid morning that it was eating away at me.
It created an irritability, a panic that was bubbling over into everything else. The work I was trying to do today got the brunt of it. I didn’t trust my instincts and mistrusted any answer I gave.
As soon as I realised what was causing it, I relaxed.
I had a lovely lunch in the van but this time with my feet up!
The afternoon went much more smoothly. Jeez I can be hard work at times and today was one of these days.
My knee has been a million times better today so maybe it’s on the mend.
I went to bed after 5 when I got home as I was so tired. I got the electric blanket on and cooried in…. With 3 (bloody) Border Collies…. Who’s ears pricked up at every sound… but I must have conked out! Mum called and we had a good chat and she told me it was 6.50pm…. 10 minutes to crochet!!!!
I jumped out of bed, shoved clothes on and picked up my phone… only to find it was cancelled. I must have slept through that 😆🤣😘
So, with encouragement from the crochet girls, I’ve decided it’s ok to be self indulgent.
So cheese and biscuits it is… and Downton… yeah maybe some Downton… again.
It’s been pouring the last few days…. Saw this on FB yesterday.
🤣🤣🤣
Good old Billy Connolly 🤣
I’ve not been feeling the best these last few days but it’s no worse than just the following…
I’m attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest when he’s on fire… 🤣🤣 that made me laugh out loud! It’s not that bad but you get the picture.
I’ve had stomach cramps for the last two days and I am eating us out of house and home. I am blowing up before my very eyes!
We had Peanut back into work today! Made my day.
I was super busy though and hardly had any time to take photos. That said I am there to work and not take photos… 🤦🏻♀️🤣
I also had a very old friend pop in for lunch today as she was visiting a shop on the same industrial estate! We had lunch in the van.
We were very windswept as we rushed a photo after lunch and I had a customer just arrive.
I mentioned yesterday about my first boss…. I spent my life trying to please them as they often got angry with me for making mistakes and turned all eyes towards me in company meetings, dropping me in it from a great height.
We had a manual purchasing process where I had to count the parts we had in stock to start. Then had to look at the production plan to see what models we were building, to determine which parts were used in which models to therefore define how many were required…. To take that from the quantity in stock and determine what to order… from Japan… without stopping production. 😳
What chance did we have.
My boss was very quick to lay blame at my door, to pass the buck in meetings and I’m ashamed to say that when I was given the Senior Buyer job, I brought in Gillian and treated her in exactly the same way I had been treated. I made her life a misery as mine had been.
She ultimately left and got a new job and we got back in touch years later when we talked all about this and I apologised for everything.
I went to visit her for lunch a few years back, it must have been before Christmas, as I took a Poinsettia as a gift.
She sends me photos of it all year round as it’s lasted more than any other poinsettia she’s ever bought. I must have had about 6 since then and they’re all long gone.
The one I bought her is on the left!
I will always carry the hurt I caused her. Yet she forgave that.
Was so lovely to catch up even if only for half an hour.
So that’s my day today. It was a very busy one but good. I’m tired and lazy so curled up on the couch watching Downton Abbey…. I still can’t get over the fact that I love a good period drama. 🤷🏻♀️🤣
The whole point of my blog was to let people see that you can appear like you have it all, but things might not always be as they appear.
I have always been a very bubbly, happy person. I was always there to help others, to make other people feel happy and feel good about themselves but unbeknown to me at the time, I was chipping away at the old block and making myself very unwell as a result.
The girl who goes into her first “real” job after Uni and makes polite small talk as she knows if she gets her boss chatting and talking about their weekend or evening the night before, then they will be less likely to be snippy during the day. Encourage conversation out of them to get them on side. Ask lots of questions. Let them slowly bring you into their confidence. They are way less likely to shout at you if you are “friends”…. I can’t even begin to explain how much work that was. It wasn’t just with bosses. It was the same story with everyone else. I was working away in the background of my mind ALL the time.
I just wanted people to like me. For them to be pleased with me. Happy with things I had done or the way I had treated them. If I could control how other people around me were feeling, then I could control their influence on me.
Just not to the detriment of yourself
I mean seriously…. Read that back a minute… if I could control how other people around me were feeling?!?!? Why did I even remotely think I could do that and yet I seemed to see it as my life’s purpose.
All the while…. Literally breaking up inside as over the years it got harder and harder to do. Let’s face it, it was an impossible task!
I know that’s this is a lovely photo but inside my heart was breaking. There was nothing wrong with my marriage, nothing wrong with the lovely house I lived in or our lovely dogs….. everything was wrong inside me. I could barely hold it together. I was so very, very sad.
I’d spent so much time trying to keep the world happy that I had nothing left… an empty shell. I started to think that everyone would be better off without me whinging and whining and being sad all the time.
Anyway I am so pleased to say that I am far removed from that now. It’s taken years of baby steps to build my confidence back up, but I am one of the lucky ones. I can say that I am still learning every day and no matter how bad things seem at times, I do need some reflection to remember that nothing is as bad as it was.
I’ve had the chance to unlearn everything that I thought was important and relearn what actually is.
I just want everyone to realise that we have no idea what other people are really thinking. What you see is not always what is.
I was loud, I was chatty, I wanted to be in the centre of everything. I wanted to be seen, be heard.
Now the opposite is true. I am quiet… and I love it. Quiet is my new strong.
Claire sent me this and it makes me laugh a lot…. It’s so very true!!
I’ve had a lot of people reach out to me as a result of The Rambling Sloth. It’s very good to talk and share how we are all feeling…
We all need to learn to live in the present moment and enjoy each moment of life for what it is… even when you get your Camper van stuck in the mud… Especially then! 🤦🏻♀️🤣
The Rambling Sloth 🦥 