Day 387 another shift in the working pattern and Kinesiology with Shelagh!

So I’ve been beavering away in the background working out some issues with my new work life balance. The new balance was becoming more work than life unfortunately.

I’ve made the very difficult decision to take a step back from Pawsitive Solutions where I was making dog behavioural enquiry calls and training to work with puppies.

This was not a decision I reached lightly. Not at all. Craig and Lorna have been an amazing support through my healing journey and helped me get back into work. I will always be grateful for the opportunity they gave me.

It’s been a very difficult weekend for me as I wrestled with my decision. My post bus building life was always going to be a lot less stressfuland I thought I knew the direction in which I was heading…..

Then along comes Tartan Campers. A few conversations with the guys that did Abbie’s camper van conversion…… way back last year…. and I land a job out of it. No interview, no real idea of my work experience. Boom. Job.

I thought I could handle both but luckily a very wise woman pushed me as she knew that I couldn’t.

I have realised that my mind prefers the getting up to a morning alarm, job and done. I don’t do my best work in the afternoons and evenings. I like to get it out the way so that I can give myself time to rest as a reward. I get stressed when I have to wait for work.

Those of you who know me or have followed the blog for a while, will know I’m a people pleaser. I do what makes other people happy as that by default made me happy.

Not any more. I have learned the gift of speaking my truth. “If I speak my truth I will be calm”. My new rule to live by. Way better than “I am worthless” which it used to be.

So a huge decision, a difficult decision, made as calmly as I could with only mini-wobbles, fully supported by Craig.

He even said if Tartan doesn’t work out we will still be ok. Now that is something that means the world to me…….

I was lucky enough to have a very high salaried job in the past but it broke me. It was hard for us both to understand how we might live without that money.

But we have…. and we do…. and will continue to and we are so much happier.

Despite all this going on in the background I’ve had a busy wee day today. I had some dog behaviour to cover when I got back from Tartan and I went into the beer garden next door to try to help understand the new COVID rules for when the pub opens. Back in for Kinesiology at 3pm.

This week was all about my relationship with the dogs. I feel very out of control when I’m with them. I’m always worried something might happen on a walk and I get very stressed out by the whole event. We worked through all of this and cleared these fears and beliefs.

To test myself I decided to go a walk and instead of going by myself I took all 3 dogs (and Claire, who helped with one!). It wasn’t all plain sailing but I felt no stress and handled the doggy situations that presented themselves…. ♥️

I look forward to seeing how that works out for me.

I feel I have turned a corner this week. I’ve made some big decisions, I haven’t fallen apart, I’ve just worked through them methodically. I think I’ve handled it pretty well. I’m going to tidy the kitchen and sit with my feet up until Craig comes home and I’ll get the boy his dinner. Check me.

Stay safe everyone 🐾🐾🐾

Day 386 working ALL DAY!!!

Oooooh I am tired today…. moan, moan.

Up at 6.30 and into Tartan this morning. It was a lovely morning, turned pretty warm at one point and I was in the workshop setting up bin locations for material. I had my dustpan and brush out….. note to self, should do this in the house more often 🤔😬🤣

This made me laugh…….

This is me today…. just hanging on in there but hugging ma tree 🌲

The fuel light came on today….. why is going for fuel such a pain?! I’m one of these people that can’t just drive to the nearest petrol station but have to drive a distance to the cheapest or at least one of the cheaper ones. Probably costs me more in the long run!!

So I was about 20 mins late home, which is not the end of the world but I still had to make dog behavioural calls this afternoon. Spoke to loads of lovely people and booked three jobs which is great.

Then Claire asked if I wanted to go a walk. I was almost too tired but so glad I did.

This is so much more green than it was the other day when I walked through. The rain made a big difference!

Took some lovely primrose pics….

This the daffies are on their last legs now
How lovely is this.

Another quick one tonight but the hours run away from me these working days!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 385 a grey moody lazy Sunday 🦥

It was raining this morning….. it’s hasn’t rained in weeks…. cries of “be good for the garden” all round. That said…. it will be as things were looking awfy dry.

I got some lovely flowers yesterday that I didn’t have time to talk about!

Mum and dad brought these
And Claire brought these!

Lovely to have flowers in the house!

So we were up at 5.30am…. on a Sunday…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😬🤔 we were planning to drive to pick up a tent that we were buying and wanted to do it super early before the roads got busy.

Just as we were about to walk out the door, showered and picnic at the ready…. we decided we didn’t need to spend the money and wouldn’t be using it. Wow. Check us, that’s a first but we both knew it.

So instead we went for a dog walk!

Ready, steady go!
Kilbirnie Loch is not the same when it’s grey!
Very calm and still

As I was taking these photos there was a loud bellow from the other side of the rugby pitches…. we heard the voice but didn’t realise he was shouting at us until he screamed “get your f’in dogs on a lead”. 😳

Wow. Bit harsh considering we were at least 300 yards away from him and playing with the frisbee and he was walking towards us. We gathered the pups and got the leads on and as the guy got closer he said he had a “reactive German rescue”. Well bully for you mate.

He proceeded to walk right towards us AND right past us and then let his dog off the lead as he walked away. We were astounded. You don’t say anything until you think it all through. I’d you have a dog that is THAT reactive, you don’t take it to a public place to walk. You certainly don’t own the rights to that public place and why should ours be on lead while yours gets off?!? All very strange. Grumpy auld git.

So there endth the dog walk…. nice…. as long as your “reactive German rescue” got a good walk we’re all happy.

I am not in the best frame of mind this weekend. A fair bit of negativity sloshing about in this old brain of mine. I need to learn to keep up the good mood when the sun doesn’t shine too!

I have already had a nap! To be fair it’s no wonder given the early rise.

And this is very difficult

So I’m going to do a meditation now. See if that helps but also knowing I’ll probably sleep again!

So yeah that was good, I’ve been lying in the bed upstairs reading while Craig watching the football. I’m having a lovely lazy day but I needed it.

This is your Sunday evening reminder that we make our own path in life. We do what we choose to make us happy. Here’s to the week ahead and may it be a good one for you all and may I eat a little bit less. 😳🤔😆

Stay safe everyone 🐳🐳🐳

Day 384 finally got to see my mum and dad after all this time!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Today’s the day we’ve been waiting for. We can finally travel in Scotland and mum and dad came over for lunch!!

Dad had not seen the decking at the bottom of the garden so he’s not been here since before lockdown 2020.

So I’m not gonna lie…. there were hugs and a few tears and I didn’t let them go until that but it became awkward….. and the tears were mine (surprise!!)

We sat outside the whole time and it was beautiful in the sun but the minute a cloud came over it was pretty freezing cold. The wind is awfy fresh today!

I’d bought packs of sandwiches and wraps for lunch so I wasn’t giving them food I’d prepared but Craig said they looked like sandwiches you’d buy in a petrol station….. he proceeded to order Subway for delivery at 12.30pm.

This was such a great idea!

We had steak and cheese, pepperoni, chicken and bacon and ham salad foot long subs delivered from Just Eat.

We went out to show them Abbie the camper van as they’d only ever seen inside her on Christmas Eve trying to stay socially distanced and there was an office desk in the back!!

I put the pop top up
Mum and dad testing out the van!

I also opened the scenic canvas for the first time ever.

Let’s loads of air in the van on a lovely day

We so wished we were going away somewhere!

Reminds me we did hear from my mother in law today who’s cousin lives up on the banks of Loch Lomond. She took a photo of the card parked near her house….

They took this from the car, a very busy Loch Lomond today!

Hundreds of people out today.

Mum, me and Dad!
Dad taking a funky shot!

Now in a slight negative there are a lot of horrific photos of me today so I’ve chosen carefully. I have no concept of the size I’ve become until I see myself in photos…. it’s a slight negative but I also accept it is what it is and it will come.

Mum and dad left about 3 ish and I managed an hour and a half nap… hence the reason the blog is so late out tonight.

Claire came round for a fire pit and a takeaway!

I’m in my where’s Wally hat!!
Perfect fire 🔥
Check Bhruic & Freya sitting like book ends down the garden?!?!

It’s being a lovely day seeing people and socialising which has been a long time coming. It’s been so normal and something we’ll never take for granted again.

In other news check the wooden shutters Craigie made for our living room….. love them!

It’s now 10.04pm and I need my bed. A lovely day spent with lovely people and got new lovely shutters. What’s not to love 💕

Today also saw Prince Philip’s funeral. The report below shows how COVID has affected us all. After 73 years of marriage the queen can’t even be close to her family.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 383 another lovely day in Ayrshire 🥰 and the roads are busy!!

So here goes 💜💞

I did not have to get up for Tartan Campers this morning as it’s my day off. However, Mr Sporty Spice had his alarm set for 4.45am!!!! Guess who is then WIDE awake… her wee head buzzing with all of yesterday’s chat about work life balance and then the plans for a fairly busy weekend.

I did feel gratitude for the chance to stay in bed!

So today is the day that Scotland has gained some COVID LOCKDOWN FREEDOM!!!

This made me laugh…. the midges have had no one to bite
Yet sadly this is very likely to be close to the truth as so many people will leave their houses to go to the hills
Not sure what’s wrong with Beinn a’Chlaidheimh other than it’s hard to spell?!?!

I for one will be staying local with dog walk and more excitingly, an Abbie wheel balance in Johnstone!

Seems a long time since I did this!!
Daffies everywhere!!
These monkeys enjoying running around a big field… Calaidh seemed to want to go into the next field all the time!!
Check this tongue!!!!! She was on the top of a drystane dyke here!!
Back home and Calaidh is basking in the sun in front of my heart shaped log!

I snuck up on some housework when I got home. If I’d added that to the list of things to do today I’d have been stressed out my box…. but it was cool sitting outside after the dog walk so I hoovered. Boy did it need doing.

We’re in moulting season again and this time it’s Bhruic who prances through a room with a cloud of hair floating out behind her! It’s everywhere!!!! Freya has stopped, Calaidh is still moulting a wee bit. I have dog hair in my eyes when I blink, up my nose when I sneeze and I’m pretty much everything I eat. 😬🤨🤣

Then I headed up to Johnstone for a food shopping and other essentials before dropping Abbie in at Halfords Autocare for a wheel balance and break light bulb to be changed.

I’m currently sitting outside In Johnstone town square, or rather rectangle, waiting the half hour until she’s ready.

I went to take a picture there… it’s no braw.

I’ll talk about this next photo instead as it came up on my memories.

One year ago today I headed off for my first volunteering day delivering food bank parcels with the Beith Trust. I came home and burst into tears with the overwhelm of it all but I did it every week after that.

It’s a reminder to me of how far I have come. Julie 2 jobs 🤨(this seems to be my favourite emoji today…) I still give myself such a hard time but I do have way more self confidence than I did back then.

I learn more about myself every day.

Every day is a school day.

Stay safe everyone ♥️💜♥️

Day 382 working 8 ‘til just after 5….. now sitting in the sun ☀️

Oh yeah this is so true! No more negative nellies for me. Do you know this is the best thing about being out of my old job. Walking away from the negativity. A million reasons why something can’t be done.

So it was a beautiful morning again today. I laughed at Abbie when I walked out and saw her in the frost….. she would not catch me out today with her over enthusiastic locking mechanism. 🤨😂

The fields were all frosty too

Mr sporty spice had scraped my windscreen on his way to the gym this morning…. gave me a wee smile.

I stood in the middle of the road for photos today

However, it was sunny in Dundonald so my heater wasn’t on today and the office was bitterly cold 🥶!! Didn’t take too long to heat up though.

It was another manic morning…. couldn’t get the laptop to work for the first hour and 6 minutes precisely. I was very antsy this morning and I didn’t have a lot of patience for things that weren’t going my way. I went into the workshop today to put stock away in case I broke the laptop by hammering the keys to make it work! I was thumping the hell outta the power button for a while.

At 9.06am I held my finger on the power key for 35 seconds. At 9.06 and 35 seconds my laptop jumped into life. I now have a portable hard drive and will move all my files on to it just in case this ever happens again….. my laptop was unplugged when I got in which meant someone else was using it…. 🤨

Raced back up the road for a Pawsitive Solutions meeting in the garden. Loving all these outdoor meetings.

Decisions to be made about how I see myself moving forward now that I have my hours at Tartan Campers.

We decided today that I will step back from making the enquiry calls and will concentrate on making my own bookings for puppy jobs.

It feels like the right thing to do just now as the calls are the bit I can’t control. I never know how many there will be or how long they will take. At least a puppy enquiry call is quite quick and I can arrange the visits in my own time and when it suits me.

Not gonna lie my head is pretty burst just now. I think I may just be hangry. It’s 7.36pm and I haven’t really had any lunch let alone dinner. I had a zoom call tonight which I cancelled as I feel like I just need some silence. Shame to miss it but listening to what my body says it needs.

Tuna pasta bake in the oven.

Chance I may eat my own arm if it’s not ready soon.

Remember for anyone that’s forgotten we here in Scotland are free tomorrow!!!!!! Travel is allowed after MONTHS…. 🤩

Stay safe everyone 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Day 381 I actually did stop for photos this morning 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😬🙄😂

What beautiful morning. Not as cold today.

So I popped the keys in the ignition….. stepped out, closed the door over and stepped back to take the photo as I thought Abbie was looking particularly lovely in the early morning sun…… 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Then the fated clunk, clink…. Abbie the camper van locked me out. For the second time in my life. Honestly. A 10 second door shut locks the door?!?!? I mean 10 seconds in my life is like the blink of an eye.

So thankful that I was just across the road from the house…… and that Craig was still in and….. that the spare key was there. Phew!

Back in the van and headed off with a big wave to an orange VW camper that passes most mornings (I wanted him to know I’d just been locked out just for some sympathy…… but couldn’t convey that message in my wave sadly) and also to my father-in-law who I’ve driven past in the last 2 days.

It was glorious sunshine when I left the house and could see the mist lying all over the fields. It was breathtaking. What a way to start the day.

The rest of the drive was actually pretty foggy….. pea soup to be honest and warranted Abbie fog lights for the first time and it was still very cloudy but the time I got to Tartan Campers.

The office was unlocked and the fire was on 🔥🔥 So grateful for that…. was also super busy today! I’m now going to be ordering all the material for the Upholstery side of the business too so had some training on that. Was very interesting 🧐

The sun came out around 12 ish and I raced back up the road at 1pm. At which point the sun disappeared…. naturally.

I did give me time to blitz the kitchen though and I actually enjoyed doing it now that it’s not my every day morning routine. Another holiday from dog calls which has been a nice break.

How lovely is this?!?!

My words, my truth ♥️ that’s all this blog was ever meant to be. it’s helping me find myself again though I know now that I was never lost. I’d just lost myself.

Wow, how profound is that?! Check me.

Been sitting out in the sun writing this with the birds twittering, Craig twittering, sorry chatting 😬😂 and the dogs running around in the sun.

And relax.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Day 380 good news on the Scottish COVID travel ban, pampered pooches and other stuff!


We are free from Friday. I cannot tell you how good this feels after a very long time of being told to stay at home. We have been home since about the middle of September, at least it feels that long!

Mum and dad are already booked in for a visit this weekend. It’s great news.

I’m also thinking that I should hear about my vaccine soon. Should maybe chase that up?!

So it wasn’t such a lovely morning this morning. I was at Tartan Campers for about 7.45am and didn’t want to stop in any lay-bys for photos today. 😂🤨

Another good morning of work though….spreadsheet after spreadsheet, I mean they just keep on coming and it’s amazing!! I love, love, love a spreadsheet. So much control in one tiny document.

Back home for 1.45pm and I have a day off from making behavioural calls. In fact I have 3 afternoon’s off!!! How long do you think it took me before I started trying to figure out what I should be doing?! How should I fill the time for the best?!?

Yeah I know….. enjoy the chill ♥️
Calaidh just wants to travel the world 🌍 🤨🤣
How true is this?!? No more nonsense!

So Bhruic and Freya were at BrawCuts Dog Grooming today…… see if you can tell which one is most impressed with their new hairdo?!?

Freya? 🤨🤣

It’s the first time Freya has ever been groomed as she’s so short we just bath her when we need to. She was very good today apparently. Bhruic is not a lover of the hairdryer so had to come home a wee bit damp! They are both as floofy as Calaidh was last week.

A bit of a photo shoot with Bhru’s locks blowing in the wind!
Another 40 pics to get this one!
Freya found a potato!!

So I’m currently sitting out in the van across the road from the house. Craigs on a Zoom call and I just fancied a change of scenery. I brought Calaidh with me. It’s good for them all to have some time apart.

Pretty Calaidh
This is pretty powerful…. not just for the girls!

It’s been lovely to have a bit of a break this afternoon. Nice not to have anything that I HAVE to do. The list from Sunday’s blog is still sitting there waiting to be done but hey… I care less about it today.

Only downside is I’m now gonna have to clean the van again! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😬🙄


Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 379 what a beautiful at from sunrise to sunset ☀️☃️☀️☃️☀️

Just after sunrise 🌅

What a beautiful day. A very thick heavy frost overnight so all the fields were white and the sky was so blue. I felt like someone had washed my windscreen overnight!

I wanted to stop in every lay-by and take photos. I did not….. 😬🤣

A super frosty Tartan Camper

One of the guys had opened up the Portacabin office and put my heater on this morning. So lovely of him and it still took a while to heat up. Thank goodness for a job where you don’t have to wear a suit!

We had a sales guy come in for a chat this morning so set up a socially distanced camp outside in the car park…. sat on deckchairs. Love it ♥️

Back up the road by 2pm and on Pawsitive Solutions calls. Booked 2 so behaviour jobs so that went well.

I’m not gonna lie. I am tired. I have 3 days off from dog calls just for a break as I’ve been making calls through all of lockdown. The team are back working now and I’m so grateful that they can take back the reigns for a few days.

So despite being ready to fall asleep.. Claire messaged about going a walk and I’m so glad I did. We took Freya!

Here she is modelling the back of Craigs car as he just got the dog guard and matting delivered!
Beautiful evening too, still cold!
This is Beith’s Woody Bear
Sunset on the village
How lovely is this bush at the Village Primary School? Don’t think I’ve ever notice it in bloom before

This is first day I’ve done 10k steps in 3 weeks.

I will sleep tonight!

Stay safe everyone 🌅☀️🌄

Day 378 why do I struggle to know what to do for the best on a day off? 🤨 yet it works out perfectly in the end 🌊☀️🐶

I could not wake up this morning. Had the best sleep but it was one of those ones that I can’t open my eyes up from…. I finally got out of bed after 10 but I didn’t feel particularly rested.

Oh hullo…… yep there’s the answer 💜💙💚

Given my new 2 job status, I’m conscious the following week will disappear in a blur. So I need to make the best use of today.

And yet this is what actually got me out of bed!

I walk around and see so many things that need doing. I might even list them here as this is a journal to help my mental health and none else sees it…… right…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤨🙄

  • Bedding needs washed and bedroom needs hoovered
  • Weeding SERIOUSLY needs done in the garden
  • Grass need swept (yes I did say that… it’s artificial as 3 female Border Collies and real grass doth not a good combination make…) they have so many sticks all over it and bits of chewed toy
  • Stairs and upstairs need hoovered BIG TIME
  • Meals need planned for next week
  • Already done an online food shop ✅
  • Ooooh dogs need walked
  • Abbie needs some serious organisation inside
  • Crochet squares need doing
  • Washing needs to be put away

Now I write it out I see the NEEDS…… NEEDS….NEEDS…. it’s not actually that big a list and none of it actually does need doing right here, right now (cue the song…. 🎧🎵🎶

Except of course the pooches…. should say that Bhru isn’t limping anything like she was yesterday so that’s good. Will only take the other 2 today just to give her paw a rest.

My next door neighbour Angel has just messaged to say that I have to go into her garden for a coffee…. my reply…. don’t suppose you could cope with a wee dog saunter too. SHE SAID YES!!!!

I got a wee surprise lunch!

We then took Calaidh and Freya a walk and would you believe took zero pics!

The following is so very true. I know all this yet at times things still overwhelm me.

Adjusting my stress and I took me and Bhru off down to the beach.

Isle of Arran from Portencross
Love jumping the rocks! sore leg?!? Nope
Wow check this?!?
Throw it
This…. throw it
Think the kid over there will throw it?!
Just play with it myself then….. can I breathe under water?!?
Got it out….. still breathing
Love this wee “path” down to the sea
Green rocks
This is very “West of Scotland” rocks
Off again
Just beautiful
And breathe
The weathers coming in
The breeze had calmed right down and the saw has calmed…… see that cloud at the end of Arran…. it’s snow!
It’s now snowing!!!! Here too!

Oh and now we have hailstones. Gotta love Scotland in April. It never knows what to do in a day.

I hope you’ve all had a lovely weekend and wishing you all the best for a lovely week ahead.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☃️☀️