The cramp just kept getting worse. Painkillers didn’t ease it off and neither did my hot water bottle. Usually the heat is an instant relief.
I literally had to move about on the couch every 5-10 minutes or so. Once I got comfy, it relaxed a bit until the next wave hit. Not gonna lie, there were silent tears most of the evening as I genuinely felt awfy sorry for myself.
It wasn’t the kind of depression tears though, just a feeling sad for the current situation. Also not a woe is me…. I know that this will pass. And it has….
I’ve been much better today. I actually slept most of the night, which was great but I didn’t go to the Farm this morning as still felt rotten, I looked all peely wally and my eyes were puffy from the tears.
Bit pathetic eh but it was really sore.
I’ve had twinges today but nothing like yesterday.
So it’s been an exciting, busy, yet very quiet day at Tartan HQ. The boys were at the SEC in Glasgow, setting up our stand at the show. It turned out they’d given us the wrong stand so we had to move everything around. A daft mistake by someone on Monday.
We are so very lucky to have two vans right outside the SEC which is a great advertisement. (these are not my pics as I wasn’t there today!)
There’s the same Finnieston Crane that I took a photo of last week when I was at the Scottish Trade Fair with the little gift shop. This is the year of the trade show! 😂
Here’s our stand!
And here are 3 of my smart looking Directors…. A girl can never have too many Directors 😂
This lovely van is up for sale at the show… I love it!
So yeah, that’s me for the next 4 days! If you happen to be at a loose end and nearby then pop along and say hello. We have smart new gear to wear so there will be plenty of photos.
Don’t remember it being this sore since my early 20’s and that takes some remembering. 😂.
I have this memory of being at Uni, maybe in my late teens and having such bad cramp that my Grandpa had to come and pick me up and take me to Gran’s. 😳Mum and Dad must have both been working.
I can clearly recall the atmosphere in the car…. You could cut it with a knife! Poor Grandpa probably knowing fine well what was wrong with me but we were NEVER going to discuss it. That just wasn’t the done thing….. here I am pretending I’m fine while making random small talk, as I curled up into a ball on the passenger seat and tried not to cry.
Actually, writing that reminds me of being alone with Grandpa, which makes me smile and is lovely, though I still cringe and the unspoken words!
Paracetamol haven’t worked at all today.
I slept quite well, yet woke at 5.15am and couldn’t get back to sleep.
The pain has been coming in waves. It’s felt overwhelming at times. I’ve had to sit hunched over my desk, to stretch my back…. I’ve had to stand up straight and try to stretch out my stomach…. I’ve had to sit still…. I’ve had to move around and I still can’t quite find the right position.
Another memory, at work this time, just after finishing Uni…. I worked in the Glasgow University Court Office Reception. We used to sit and hug the heated kettle when we had bad cramp…. It seemed like a great idea at the time 😂😂😂 an office full of girls could get away with that!
I had to start eating at 15 hours of fasting this morning as I needed to take more painkillers, and didn’t want to on an empty stomach. The cramps were making me feel sick, maybe it was the empty stomach with the cramps that didn’t help.
Usually within about 10 minutes it would subside, but not today.
I got some respite mid afternoon thankfully but it seems to have come back since I’ve eaten dinner.
I’m sure tomorrow will be fine. Maybe even later on tonight. It never normally lasts long… but this one is pretty heavy.
Oh the joys…. Peri-menopause is the gift that keeps on giving. This is the price I pay just now for increasing my hormones to help keep my anxiety and other symptoms in check.
As painful as it’s been today, this is nothing compared to the monthly mental slump that I have had for so many years. Honestly, it’s night and day. I’m in pain, it sucks, it’s uncomfortable but my head is clear, my mood is not going down, it’s not making me slump. (Except physically I’m contorted 😳😂😘)
In other news we’ve been busy getting ready for the Scottish Caravan, Motorhome and Holiday Home Show. That’s a mouthful eh?!
The boys will set up the stand tomorrow and get it ready for opening on Thursday morning. I’m excited and looking forward to speaking to as many people as possible, selling the van we are taking for sale and selling as many conversions as we can!
Boss man has the vans place already. That’s the first stage.
So to end on a another positive. I’ve seen loads of positivity on FB today. In my 5.15am positivity scroll…. So I’ll post them here while I get myself into another stretching position.
Ok so I haven’t quite shared peace with the world today but I am trying. I’m off to hunt down a hot water bottle and see if that will help.
The 5am alarm was not my friend this morning. It felt very unfair….. 😢
I did wake at 3.54am…. Anything with a 3 a the start is just FAR too early…. But that didn’t make getting up at 5am, any easier.
My friend Tracey in Canada has sent me this…. It was lovely to wake up to!!
Yay, we are out of the darkest weeks of the year! I worked late tonight and was still home in almost daylight. Love that.
So the Farm was great this morning. We split into 2 teams. One team have targets on all the cardio machines, while the other team has to score as many basketball 🏀 baskets as possible, while also doing a wee exercise in between each shot.
I love this workout!
I scored every basket I shot in the first round. I was super chuffed. Missed a few in the second round. Was pretty shocking in the third and clawed it back by the fourth round. 🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀
We did our warm up outside for the first time in months…. It felt like old COVID times. We had to move some machines inside as it started to rain, but I loved shooting hoops before 7am in the rain.
Now, I totally understand how you could read this and think I was nuts….. it’s such a random thing to be doing before 7am. I love it! 🏀🏀🏀🏀
The sunrise was definitely not the best I’ve seen but it was lovely to see the start of sunrise. Spot Abbie the camper van’s window gleaming in the sunrise.
It was lovely…. And so very peaceful.
There was a strange contrail behind a plane in the sky….. it was bright orange against the dark blue and cloudy sky, as I drove to work. I was fascinated by it. It was picking up the rising sun in a way that the other clouds were not. It was a straight line to start off with and then became a kind of boomerang shape. 🪃 Either the plane took a sharp left turn or the wind was blowing the contrail into this shape. I couldn’t take my eyes off it all the way in. I couldn’t get a photo of it but it was just so very unusual.
By the time I got into the Tartan HQ portacabin, the rain was on.
I had a few challenges at work today. These things that are sent to try you, that you can’t control…. but I did. I kept calm and dealt with everything that was thrown in my direction.
Then the stomach cramp kicked in…. Marvellous. Time of the month. Thank you HRT….. but, on a very positive, positive…. I was not crying, I was anxious but wasn’t a total wreck…. If anything I was a bit excitable and wittering like a budgie but hey, that is me.
I hear myself and I cringe but I need to accept the wittering at times. There’s nothing wrong with being excitable, it’s way better than crying.
Also, the cramp was pretty painful and my stomach blew up like a basketball (see what I did there?!). Thankfully a couple of paracetamol did the trick.
The first day of my period used to be the worst day of the month for me. I would always be in floods of tears, unable to concentrate. I always used to say, it was the one day a month that I should have just stayed in bed.
Not so today. It was just a normal day in the life.
There’s a whole lot less coughing and a whole lot more easy breathing in our house this weekend. So grateful!
We had a lovely night in the village pub yesterday. It’s great when you click with new friends and have such a good time. It’s lovely to laugh.
I slept for over 9 hours and could not wake up this morning. I love that feeling. We had Freya in with us last night and she never even woke me up. I was out for the count.
I honestly reckon I could just go back to bed now though. My head is calm. It’s a switched off calm. Nothing matters. I’m not gonna go anywhere or do anything. Just be happy to be inside my head that isn’t wittering away about something.
I didn’t finally get out of bed until after 11am and I’ve been a housework trojan for the last 4 hours. I’ve tidied, polished, hoovered AND washed floors…. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that.
These last few weeks we have literally only gone to work and come home and languished on the couch or in bed. It feels like coming out of a cocoon. As I say that, I’m not really to come back out yet…. Maybe another few days of doing nothing sounds great to me. 😂
How’s this for a transformation of our spare room?
The room keeps being used as a dumping ground and we have mum and dad coming to stay in a few weeks so I’m getting ahead of the game. Check me!
I’ve managed another 18.5 hours fast today. I’ve still managed to do that every day and I still feel much better for it.
So I had a coffee and sat down about half an hour ago and I’m watching Sleeping with the Enemy. Remember that film?! It’s so good and I don’t actually remember what happens, which makes it even better.
This made me laugh…. I love me a big hoodie but who really needs one this size?!?
Sundays are my least favourite day of the week for some reason. I think it’s the only day where I don’t have routine, and I can sometimes struggle with that, but today has been a really good day.
We’ve a busy week at Tartan HQ so I’m looking forward to that. Here’s to making the best of everything that this week throws at us.
Clean bed last night…. Wonderful. Especially after the last week of feeling rotten. By 4am the clean sheets are soaking wet after another night sweat. Never used to get these much. A sign of the times I guess but I’m hoping the HRT might help them go away in the coming months.
The little gift shop was amazing today. We were super busy. The lovely Earth Squared bags and and the new Highland Co lotions and soaps are flying out the door! The scents are amazing. I’m not going to be back in the gift shop for 2 weeks now. There’ll be none left by the time I get back. 😂
Home for 1.30pm and let the dog walking commence. No rest for the wicked!
It was super lovely that Claire had messaged about going out for a walk and I had 2 to do. It’s lovely that dog walking doesn’t feel like a chore when you are able to put the world to rights as you walk.
Calaidh and Freya first. They got a good run around the field and a play in the burn.
Then Bhru got her shot. Check the sky behind her. There’s rain coming and it’s really dramatic.
We just caught the start of the rain on our way back.
It’s very mean and moody.
So we’re booked into the Gateside Inn, next door, for dinner tonight, with two new friends, new to me anyway. Craig used to go to the gym with Lindsay and they met for a drink before Christmas. Her partner Ewen came to pick her up that night and we decided that the 4 of us should meet up a sometime…. And here we are. Very late lunch/ early dinner at 4.30.
I should say here, by way of advertisement, that the Gateside Inn is up for sale. If anyone fancies taking it over and having some of the best neighbours ever…. Obviously 😂 then get in touch.
I did not expect the sunshine today. It’s been a beautiful day! There’s even been some warmth in the winter sun at times, especially when I’ve flown in and out of the Tartan HQ portacabin!
I slept a bit better last night. I coughed a lot less but was still awake for about 70 minutes in total. Seems there may have been a bit of snoring…. So someone says. He can’t be trusted though…. 😂 While he was lying staring at the ceiling having taken a Lemsip to bed. 😂
I didn’t expect frosty Abbie van today. At least the inside of the windscreen was only soaking wet instead of frozen. Gotta take that small win…. 😂
It’s been a super busy day at work again. This week has flown by and been really busy. I’ve enjoyed it, worked last a few days and got stuff done. There’s also a whole bunch of stuff I haven’t got done.
If I’m being honest, I’ve been a bit hyper today. You know how I like to have a bit of self analysis and criticism. I’ve wittered like a budgie today. Lots of chat. I can still hear myself ringing in my ears 😂 I’m sure those I was chatting to can too…. 🤦🏻♀️😆
Ellison brought me homemade lentil and bacon soup with a buttered roll, for lunch. It was soooo good! How is it that even a buttered roll, that someone gives you, can taste like nectar from the gods?! I am very lucky!
I didn’t leave work until just before 5pm and it was still daylight. The sunset was beautiful and I drove home marvelling at it the whole way. If I could have stopped I would. It just kept getting better. It’s the first time, in about a fortnight, that I’ve seen the beauty in anything. It was so amazing to still be daylight when I came home. The only photo I got was the sky in the back garden!
The darkest days of winter are over.
I think we’re both turning a corner health wise, finally. It’s been a slog but fingers crossed it keeps heading in the right direction. Another lazy weekend might just do the trick.
Next week, Tartan are off to the SEC in Glasgow.
Think it will be a busy week and weekend for us! There will be so much chat. I’ll need to have some silence this weekend 😂😂
It’s 6.25am and I need to get this out of my head. All you insomniacs…. My heart goes out to you. I can’t stand this “not sleeping” malarkey. The alarm has just gone off and I’ve just woken from delivering a baby for one of my best pals…… she is not pregnant and as much as I love her, I would never be delivering her kid. Craig took her toddler girl out the room while I delivered…. She actually has a boy. Dreams never add up.
I just want to cry. I am so exhausted. Ok here come the tears. I have coughed for so much of the night. My heart is racing and I have felt like a tv in the white noise mode. The Fitbit tracker shows my heart rate nowhere near as fast as it feels inside my body which shows me it’s not my heart rate. I just want to curl up in a ball and keep crying. I genuinely don’t want to go back to sleep just now as it doesn’t feel like I could.
We had to miss the farm again. Normal life on hold until this moves on.
Last night I was all sweetness and light, and acceptance, in my fluffy clean jammies with the fire and candles on, watching tv. In the cold light of morning it’s harder to hold on to that. (Also should just say that the old HRT cycle points to time of the month shortly so the overactive drama this morning could just be attributed to that!)
I’ll read this back tonight when I write the blog and think jeez…. I can’t put that shit out.
Ok yeah so it’s 6pm….. reading that back….. drama much…. I’m leaving it in though as it’s from the heart.
One funny story though…. The girl in my dream, her wee boy is 7 today and I had completely forgotten!!!!! Now that is a strange coincidence, I dream of helping her give birth on the morning of her son’s birthday…. Spooky.
So I’ve actually had a really good day at work.
I feel a bit stronger and I’ve coughed a bit less than yesterday. I’ve had lots of customers in, lots of enquiries….. AND drumroll…….. Abbie the camper van now has a working diesel heater!!! It turned out to be a fuel feed issue, the heater was getting lots of air and no diesel. I drove home in 26°C just because I could. I’m so grateful that the boys at Tartan had time to look at it.
What no driver’s seat?!?
So I’m gonna give the crochet hookers a miss again this week. Really need to get my crochet out and get back on it. Been too long and I really should get my blanket finished…. But hey, itll be done when it’s down.
So yeah it’s Burns Night in Scotland.
Traditional Burns Suppers will be held all over Scotland but I don’t think I’ve ever been to one.
Where many of us do absolutely nothing different from any other night, but it’s traditional to have Haggis, Neeps and Tatties for dinner. Ours is just cooking. Thanks to my lovely mother in law for our haggis. I’m on the veggie haggis tonight. Craig’s having full fat 😂😂😂
We had whisky 🥃 sauce over the haggis too. Lovely!
My body temperature has been all over the place. I finally had a great sleep last night, my FitBit said it was “good” which is way better than yesterdays “fair”.
I woke up at 5.30 a hot, sweaty but cold mess. The bed was soaking with sweat. Fitbit says my body temperature was 1.7° below average….. below huh?!? God knows what it must be like when it’s over average?
I don’t suffer from hot flushes, thankfully, but I have been known to have the odd night sweat.
It’s pretty mild here just now, it’s been pretty misty and foggy all day.
Scotland was warmer than Northern Algeria today!! 😆
I’ve been too hot and then, by default, too cold all day. 🥵🥶
It was a good day at work. The day flew in… always does after you have a day off!
So no stress from me today which is always a good thing.
I’d ordered a sweatshirt online in November that only just got delivered today. I love it!!!
It’s VERY bright, you’ll not miss me on a dark night but it says it all…. Not fast, not furious!
I can confirm this does indeed, pull the wrinkles out of your face. 🤦🏻♀️😂
So yes, I feel like January has been a giant Monday. It started off so well with the wild sea swimming but we’ve had a rough week or so, no Fit Body Farm, lots of coughs and sneezes…. But that’s ok. We are resting as much as we can to get over this. It’s just taking it’s time.
We just need a quiet start to the year to psyche ourselves up for the great stuff that we can do when we feel strong enough again.
I’m sure you’re all desperate to hear the sick news update… not!
It was a rough night for both of us. We were in bed for 8.30pm and honestly, up and down like yo-yos for the rest of the night.
I did still manage to be asleep for 9 hours and 17 minutes though. I seem to do all my best coughing at night. Incessantly.
I kept thinking I wouldn’t be able to make the day out. I’d have to cancel the little gift shop day out and let everyone down….. everything seems so much more bleak during the night.
Yet when the alarm went off at 8am, I felt ok, I was breathing through my nose and I got ready and felt ok. I was paracetamol’d up.
Here we all are ready to head in to the Scottish Exhibition Centre in Glasgow. It’s been sooooo long since I’ve been to Glasgow.
We signed in and spent the whole day walking around Scotland’s Trade Fair Spring Show.
It was a whole day of shopping without spending any of my own money!!
I really enjoyed helping Gayle pick some new stock for the shop and I can’t wait for her to get some of it in. There are no photos of the stuff she bought….. it’s a secret!!!
The paracetamol lasted until about 12…. To be fair I then realised I’d actually been fasting for 19.5 hours which is way too much when you’re not well. I started to feel a bit dizzy…. Just in time for a decaf coffee (I remembered to ask for decaf!) and a cake. That did the trick and Elaine gave me some more paracetamol. That lasted until about 3….
I found a couple of cuddly sloths 🦥
Of course I did.
These are some lovely Scottish cards that we saw.
And some cool, funny Star Wars ones.
So we’ve had a lovely day. I am totally flagging now but I’m so glad I was able to go.
I’m back at the SEC with Tartan Campers at the start of February for the Scottish Caravan, Motorhome and Campervan Show at the start of February.
The Scottish Hydro and the Armadillo were looking picturesque as we left tonight.
As was the Finnieston Crane.
After show selfie…. It’s been a long day but passed really quickly.
Thanks to Gayle for asking me to go and to Lindsay and Elaine for their great company.
Comfies on, fire and candles on and feet up and hoping for a better nights sleep… albeit for a lot less hours than last night, or I’d have to be in bed now!!!
Well that was a rotten nights sleep….. I’m shattered but the cold has really taken hold. My sinuses are so heavy and sore. I’ve coughed half the night. Least I haven’t lost my voice like Craig has…. 😬
I thought it would be getting better by now. That’s almost a week. So ok…. we’ve both been working but we’ve had so much rest. Early nights, lie ins….. and still it’s not enough. It’s 9.42am, I’ve let the dogs out, fed them and come back to bed.
The silence in my head just now is wonderful. I should have taken some paracetamol before now…. Just breathing through my nose and no coughing…. My eyes are closing writing this so here’s hoping for another good sleep.
This was me last night. Apart from feeling rotten, I had a lovely evening.
Through all this I’ve only curbed the fast on Friday night, into Saturday morning. I was so hungry on Saturday when I woke. I only managed 14.5 hours but that’s still good. I’ve just hit my 16 hours just now as I stopped eating about 5.30pm. That amazing for me as a night in, on my own, I could guzzle a gazillion calories. I think I’ve found something that really works for me. I’ve not lost hundreds of pounds but I have just started HRT so I feel the fasting is fighting that HRT weight gain.
Wow, I woke back up at 11.21am. I’m never in bed that late. It’s now 12.43 and I’ve just had some honey on toast for breakfast…. And a lemsip. Nectar from the gods. I can breathe again!
Yeah that doesn’t last for long. At least there’s some respite for about 20 minutes after you take paracetamol.
I went upstairs, to my wee bedroom office, that I am never in anymore….. I worked on the last 4 months Village Hall accounts. I can’t think clearly or straight, my head is so fuzzy and won’t clear. I finished up and rather that doing some other paperwork and I just came back downstairs to olongapo (😂😂😂😂😂😂 proof reading!!!!!) I think I meant plonk myself back on the couch.
I’ve just tested negative for covid which is good considering I did go to the effort of having both the covid and the flu jab. This must be that third thing they’ve not invented the jag for yet!
So I have the day off Tartan tomorrow as the little gift shop are heading to the SECC for Scotland’s Trade Fair Spring Show. I’m really looking forward to it and don’t want to miss out so will just keep resting today!
Don’t think we’ll make the farm again tomorrow either.
We’ve just had lovely care package from Holly next door, filled wraps, lasagne and spicy chicken pasta with San Pellegrino to wash it down. So very kind. ♥️ I don’t think I repay half of the kindness shown to me. I really must fix that this year. I think I’m very kind with words but not so much with actions.
Thank you to Craig for remembering that Bhruic is the big 7 today!
Here she is at 3 weeks…. Some very cute puppy spam.
This is her at 8 weeks when we brought her home!
I can’t remember what age she was when we found out that butter did actually melt….. 🤦🏻♀️😂
She’s asleep on my slippers….
I’ve always loved this next photo I took of her by our old pond.
She was just the typical gorgeous puppy.
In this next one Calaidh actually has her paw on Bhru’s neck. Putting her in her puppy place. 😂
She went through a gangly stage with big ears and a big nose but then grew into this beautiful girl!
She is by far my biggest challenge out of the 3 dogs…. I love her but she can cause me a lot of stress. We are working on that relationship these days, aren’t we Bhru?! 😂
So Craig and I are both still feeling rotten. We’re both managing to work but are zonked after it. I was at the little gift shop again today and it was surprisingly busy, considering it’s only the middle of January. We were super productive today and got lots of stock prices and moved out into the shop.
I really love this picture.
I’ve been home since 1.15 and really not entirely sure where the last 3 hours have gone. There’s a washing on, I ran Craig to the train station as he’s away out (with his lost voice) to see Bert Kreischer tonight with his brother. Reckon it’s about 4 or 5 years since he’s been out in Glasgow.
On the way to the train station we had the chat….. it would be really lovely if he could possibly do everything he possibly could to make sure he catches, at the very latest, the last train home……. Apparently that was never in dispute. 😳 Forgive me for the doubt…… 😬😂
I’m in my comfies. The fire and candles are on and our our tea light village is all lit up. It feels very Christmassy. It’s not even 5pm and I’m ready for bed!
I have Rosé Nozeco (0%), I have Biscoff Rocky Road from Mocha Jak’s. I have 3 sleepy Border Collies for company.
The birthday girl is worn out and so is her mumma!!
And then the washing machine plays it’s whole tune to tell me it’s time to hang the washing up!!
Have a lovely Saturday night! (And pray he catches an early train?!?!)
I was in bed for 8pm last night. Electric blanket on full pelt. I slept right through until 5am. A much better sleep than the night before. It still wasn’t enough 😆
So long story short, I’ve felt pretty rotten all day but been really busy, at Tartan, as I finished up tonight and don’t go back until Tuesday. There’s always so much to do in advance when you have a day off!
I’m just taking paracetmol and had a few Lemsips but they’re not making much difference.
Rest is very good though.
I’m back home and I’m my jammies on the couch. As per usual! I came home to this…. A Beechams powder with fresh honey on Craig’s recommendation. Bless ♥️
I like this next one….. Donna Ashworth is a great follow.
So yeah, not much to add. Just taking it easy when I’m not at work. It’s been a long week just with no stuffing at all. It doesn’t make the best read to be fair. I’m bored writing it 🤦🏻♀️😂😂
I will enjoy this lesson in patience. 🧘🏻♀️
And just to end with something lovely….
We should all hype each other! Not just women. When was the last time you were this happy for someone else? We should do more of it. ♥️
I didn’t sleep well last night. I was a hot, sweaty, yet cold mess all through the night. I first woke at 11.39pm.
I felt so rotten when I woke up that I actually took a COVID test. I had my Mirena coil appointment today and didn’t think I should drag any illness to that.
I tested negative. I’m not entirely certain that it can be anywhere near accurate, so soon after my latest injection. Didn’t think of that when I took it.
My head feels so heavy, I just want to take my head off my shoulders and lay it on the desk…. I’ve a scratchy throat, but it’s not sore. A sore head that tablets won’t take away and a stiff neck. Most of all I just feel wiped out. It would appear that the other half is exactly the same tonight as I write this. Obviously he is way worse as he’s a man. The man version of everything is way worse than the woman version.
It’s only 5.15pm and we’re both in comfies, wrapped up in blankets on the couch. I’ve called in sick to crochet. The football’s coming on soon so I think I’ll just get into bed. I’m obsessed by sleeping this week.
We didn’t go to the Farm this morning. I hope our energy levels pick up again soon but it feels right just to rest.
So…. I had the next stage of my HRT journey today. I had an appointment to get the Mirena Coil fitted to administer the progesterone internally.
Over the last few weeks’ I feel like I’ve collected a few horror stories from people, that put me off. I also felt like the progesterone I’ve been taking, has settled down. I’m getting used to taking it. I was slightly reluctant to rock the boat.
So I turned up at Irvine Central today for 3pm.
I was early and they took me straight away, due to a couple of cancellations during the day. The nurses were so lovely, they listened to my concerns and we agreed to go ahead. They talked me through the procedure and explained exactly how it might feel.
So off we go….. I was so proud of myself. We chatted, the second nurse kept me talking and I was amazed and how it wasn’t hurting like they said…… a good wee while passes….. the nurse down below says she’ll have to try it again. Ok wait…. You’ve not done it yet?!? We have a laugh at that… they laugh… I nervously giggle… 😂
She goes through it all again…. This time for a good bit longer.
She sits up and tells me that she can’t get through into my womb so she’s actually done none of it! I felt the fear.
She was really lovely and said that she would have to dilate my cervix. She said it would have to call the consultant down to do that part of the procedure.
The consultant told me that it was going to hurt. I bet all you women that have had kids have a wry smile at my concern. I never had kids. I’ve no idea what that must be like.
They could give me a local anaesthetic but that injection into the cervix was gonna hurt too. She saw my eyes widen. The nurse told her I’d already said that I was happy with my progesterone tablets, at the moment, and so the consultant said that it may not be worth doing dilation.
She wanted an answer.
I told her that I couldn’t decide what I wanted for dinner of an evening!!
Finally I said no. Let’s not go ahead. She agreed and left pretty sharpish…. At which point the tears came.
I think it’s the right decision. My body said no and seized up at the thought. 😂 (the nurse did say I couldn’t control that muscle even though I thought I might be!)
So that was that. Back to HRT original. It’s making a difference.
Patch needs changing tonight and back on the progesterone…. Don’t know what will fix Craig though?! 🤦🏻♀️😂😘
In other news we have our passports back ALREADY!! That was the fastest process ever. They’ve been away for less than 2 weeks. I’m pretty impressed.
Jeez I just keep going on about the weather…. 🤦🏻♀️😂 forgive me, pickings are slim.
I had the best sleep last night. Out for the count until 6.30am. I couldn’t wake up.I’m so tired this week but I think I’m coming down with the cold. My throat is scratchy and my nose has started running. I’ll take the deep sleep any day though!
The van was super frosty again this morning…. it was -5°C.
Thank goodness for the windscreen protector…. However, there was ice inside the windscreen again and I still had to wait for about 15 minutes for it to clear. I ended up scraping the inside…. I mean really, who has to do that?!?!
Work was really busy again today and I never stopped. I like it when it’s like that. Two days in a row where there’s not enough hours in the day.
I managed another 17 hour and 37 minute fast today. I’m still finding it really easy. I’ve eaten well the rest of today and made lovely rump steak for dinner tonight.
I was in Home Bargains last night. I get all my cleaning stuff, washing liquid, fabric conditioner and toiletries there as I find them cheaper than anywhere else.
I wandered into the food section and they had big rump steaks for £2.79. I picked up two and they were really lovely. What a fantastic price.
Now, I can take or leave a steak…. I usually buy them for Craig but not for me. When I went through my veggie/vegan phase I couldn’t have touched it. It was really lovely tonight though.
I came home from work and ran round with the hoover. I’ve been meaning to do it for ages. I was hot, flustered and irritated at having to do it but it feels soooo good sitting here after having done it. I honestly feel so much better when the house is clean. I enjoyed the cooking too. It calmed me down. L
The weather was funny today. It was so cold yet bright and sunny. At one point I walked out of the portacabin to this!
Ok I know I said it snowed…… 😂😂 I didn’t even see the sun go in….. I love it when we get snow, as long as it’s this light or I don’t have to drive in it. 😂
It melted really quickly yet started to snow at 4pm just in time for me leaving.
So I’ve been ok today. Much better than yesterday. I still feel a bit sad and really tired. The jury’s out whether I’ll make the farm in the morning. I know it does me good but I know when I need a rest too.
So last night I decided it would be a good idea NOT to put the windscreen wrap on the van.
I knew it was gonna be super frosty overnight. I decided not to go to the farm as I was so tired. I really wanted the extra hour in bed this morning. I also figured that scraping the van at 7.10am was way more acceptable than 5.30am.
My decision not to put the windscreen protector on….. backfired, big time.
Abbie the camper van was solid. I couldn’t get any door open at first and finally got the passenger door open. The windscreen was frozen inside too. I tried scraping the outside but that didn’t go well. I humphed up on to the top of the wheel so I could reach more of the windscreen. Still couldn’t clear enough of it! It was a workout and a half!
It took close to 25 minutes to defrost enough to drive. I was late for work after all that. Only by 6 minutes 😂
I was really off when I first arrived and it took me a while to get into the swing of it. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t remember anything.
How lovely is this?! Brew Monday instead of Blue Monday 💙 zoom in and have a wee read. It’s a lovely thought.
Thankfully we were super busy today so I totally had to switch back on. I feel so much better this evening. The sunshine must have bought everyone out today.
It’s been so lovely, blue sky and sunshine all day.
It’s a lovely calm day today. The wind and rain has gone. It ended up being a really wild night last night.
I had what felt like the worst sleep. I felt like I was switched “on” all night. To be fair, I did leave a really noisy pub about 11pm and get straight into bed…. 🤦🏻♀️😂
After a week of fasting, well 26 days of fasting, I’ve felt amazing…. Last night I felt like an actual elephant when I tried to get ready for Barry’s 50th. I changed 3 times before finally settling for my woolly dress. The usual, hide everything under a smock. Every time I went to the toilets I saw a beached whale. Why do we do that to ourselves sometimes?! I wouldn’t think that of my worst enemy.
Here’s the Tough Mudder group photo from last night! (I didn’t take any photos….)
I was so full after dinner I just started fasting straight away and decided to drink sparkling water all night. I don’t drink anyway, so I may as well fast rather than waste it on alcohol free…..
Again Fitbit shows it wasn’t nearly as bad as it seemed…. But I woke up exhausted.
I decided to make the most of the lovely day and walk the dogs. Bhruic first.
It’s cold this morning and this back road is really icy. I had to be careful not to slip.
I came back home and spent some time playing ball with the dogs out the back and cleaning the back garden of all things dog poop…. 😂 then went back out with Calaidh and Freya. I wasn’t up to 3 dogs at once today.
The sun is higher and it feels much warmer by the second walk…. Gone are the gloves. It’s so peaceful.
And there’s even some blue sky!
The burn is swollen from the last week of heavy rain.
Calaidh jumped over onto her favourite wee island. She gets there and has no idea what to do next.
The clouds were coming in pretty thick and fast but looked lovely.
I’ve just not really known what to do with myself the rest of the day. It seems so unfair to not drink (my choice), and to be fasting so well and yet still feel like I’ve had a day with a hangover.
I could have gone out somewhere but just didn’t have the energy or, the inclination, I guess.
We watched a bit of tv but I’ve been in bed again since 2pm. It’s 4 now and I’ve not been sleeping. Just annoyingly awake with a head running white noise.
I know that I’m not alone when I feel like this, everyone has days when the meh takes over and the gratitude seems to be buried deep somewhere. I don’t know what’s causing it or where it’s suddenly sprung from, but I do know a few girls I spoke to last night, said it’s been a difficult week. Maybe there’s some vibe with the time of year or the moon, that’s dragging us all down a bit.
I only get one full day off a week and I want to make the most of it. The house needs cleaned, the village hall accounts need doing and I can’t be bothered to do any of it. It will still be there when I have a bit more oomph.
This last one made me laugh! Actually it gave me a wry smile which is totally different, I’m not in a laughing frame of mind today.
To end on a very positive note…. It’s forecast to be a beautifully sunny and calm week in Scotland. For a few days anyway.
I’ve just woken up from a 2 hour nap! Wow it was the best… I was out for the count for the full two hours. I love when I look at the time thinking it’s only been about 20 minutes. Nope two whole hours.
I’m lying in bed fighting to stay here all night but we’ve got a 50th in the village pub tonight. Barry two doors down was 50 yesterday! Need to get dinner before we head out.
We were in bed at 8.30pm last night and I slept right though until 5.20am. I don’t know whether is just first week back, if just January, but I have been really tired. To be fair, working 5.5 days a week must take its toll somewhere. I used to sleep every afternoon when I worked 9-1 at Tartan alone!
We had a really good morning at work. Considering it’s the 2nd weekend in January, we were really busy. Lots of lovely customers in, I’m starting to recognise frequent customers now.
Huge school day today……. See this stuff…..
This packaging….. is designed to dissolve in water?!?!? I can’t believe I didn’t know that. If you hold a bit under the tap, it literally dissolves and disappears.
I had great fun today playing away at the sink getting rid of it all.
Check the horrific gold nail polish…. My nails are in a dreadfully sorry state, having had the gelish polish removed. I tried to cover them up and this gold came in the M&S Christmas advent calendar that I had.
Once I started and decided it wasn’t me…. I had no nail polish remover so I had to finish…. It’s just not my colour.
Here are today’s cakes…. Mint chocolate brownie and Biscoff Rocky Road. It was uh-mazing!!!
I still managed the 16 hours but not sure how I’m going to work tonight’s fast. I don’t want to waste it just drinking alcohol free…. Will see.
Gayle made this lovely Scottish themed artificial flower arrangement in about 10 minutes. I stood, mesmerised as she went into florist mode. I’m in awe of that kind of creativity. She makes it look so easy and it was beautiful by the time she’d finished with it.
I’m having dinner now as Craig watches The Scottish League Cup Semi Final…. Bhruic is watching intently as Celtic huddle.
And this last one….. for us all ✨✨✨✨✨
It’s super wild out there now. The forecast is up to 61mph winds by 9pm. It’s already pretty bad.
This was the conversation I had with Craig at around 7.15am this morning. 😆
We’d already blown a gasket 😂 at the Fit Body Farm and were driving back home, when I asked him if he had been a morning person before he met me? 😂 he doesn’t seem to be sure?!?
I love an early morning.
I think it comes from when I was a kid. My Nana and Grandad owned a shoe shop and used to fly down to London Shoe Week, I want to say once a year, it could have been seasonal. I’ll can’t remember.
What I do remember is the magic of getting up in the dark, super early in the morning, to take them to the airport.
I’ve no concept, as to how often we did this but I remember loving it. I remember watching planes take off and land from the observation deck. We watched Nana and Grandad take off. I remember Dad driving us home, after all of that and still being back home before our neighbours were awake.
I loved that. The day felt so long!
I still love that we work out before many people are out of bed. I get a real buzz out of that for some reason. Guess that’s a good thing otherwise I would never make the early morning class.
I think it’s the one time when our world feels quiet and maybe less threatening. I’m not even sure I know what I mean by that but I like being up before everyone’s awake.
I had a busy morning and no luxury of going back to bed, like I did last Friday.
We had coffee before Craig went across the road to get his haircut. I had a shower and got ready then went to Mocha Jak’s to pick up cakes for work today. Forgot to take photos of the cakes, dammit.
I then went to the chemist to pick up my HRT repeat prescription…… It hadn’t come in from the doctors’ surgery.
I had to run down the road to the doctors, to pick it up and take it back up to the chemist. I had WAY too many clothes on for all this exercise!! I was a sweaty mess before I started work. 😂 I did get my prescription but they didn’t have enough progesterone so I have to go back to get that next Friday. Wish me luck remembering that one. 😆
Finally I get to the little gift shop and we have tea and cake! I had a Mint Rocky Road…. I did split it over several cuppas throughout the day!
We got new stock in today and Gayle’s changed the shop right round again so it looks amazing. I always say that!!
I did my first ever little gift shop FB post today too!!
So it’s 5.21pm now and I’m shattered tonight. It is the first full week back and the weather has been so dark and gloomy.
We have steak pie almost ready and I’ll be back on the fast after that. It’ll not be a late night….. I could just shut my eyes right now and have a weeeeee nap!
Oh and it’s Friday the 13th which was gone surprisingly well, considering all things superstitious 😂