Day 1492 hmmmm….

There are days when I really don’t like being me.

Where I feel so annoyed at myself for feeling down and for feeling sad when it’s scorching hot outside and I have zero plans. So many people would kill for a day like that.

Yet today was one of those days.

If you roll your eyes reading as I roll my eyes writing this, then just skip to a happier one tomorrow…. Although I have to say the mood swings for the better from about 4.30pm… if you’re looking at some light at the end of the tunnel.

I hate days where I have to write about the doom and gloom. My head tells me people lose interest as I get so much more from a happy day.

I can’t be bothered wiring what I have to write let alone you choosing to read it.

Yet I carry on…. In the hope that it maybe makes one of your down days feel a little less. I’m sure we are all the same, for some reason my head is determined to share it.

We sat outside with the fire pit until 9.30 last night, but I was shattered. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I slept like a log, still helped along by the progesterone. My alarm went off at 6.30am and I woke from a deep sleep. I felt really tired and sluggish.

Sunday run club met at 7am at Gillian’s house. My Strava app thinks I flew along as I forgot to switch it off for the drive home.

The mood is light when we set off. I’m a non runner with the runners today and maybe I let that get into my head…. But my legs feel like lead. My breathing is shot and my cold is still hanging around. We run for a good while before I have to stop to blow my nose. I’m already wobbling.

From there on I feel like I’m holding the girls back, I’m a hindrance,

I send them on ahead twice and twice they come back for me.

The second time the bloody tears have come again. Hence the completion photo!

When I get home, the house is still quiet so I smuggle Khaleesi out for a walk. I’m happy to not have to talk just yet.

I try to let the tears flow but nothing comes. My tears like to wait until they have watchers.

It’s a really misty morning. It’s really muggy though.

Khaleesi is happy.

I head back and Craig’s up by now. We sit and have a lemsip together, as you do, and I head out with Calaidh and Bhruic.

The sun is desperately trying to burn through.

They have a run in this freshly cut field.

The sun peaks through!

When I get home I head out to Tesco to get myself some snacks for my big Waverley trip tomorrow. (Sailing from Glasgow to Oban).

I got home and put it all away and headed up to bed at 12.30pm and I slept for 2 hours until Craig came up to open the window.

I still felt tired and tearful but I’ve had a good rest.

I sanded down our garden bench.

Just realised I haven’t taken an after photo. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I haven’t stained it yet… that might be a Tuesday job.

I had a good chat with Craig about how I’m feeling and it really helped. I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone, I know I’ve retreated into a shell just now. I’m fed up feeling how I’m feeling and don’t want to burden anyone else with it. I’m fighting the need for change as I can see how to do it.

I need to have some patience that it will come.

At Kinesiology on Wednesday, we did an emotional cleanse. I thought that would be a good thing but maybe it’s brought all of my emotion out to cleanse it.

Today has been my lowest mood in some time… but it has lifted thankfully.

I have so much to be grateful for. Some days I just get caught in the humdrum and sludge of it all.

Hope

You all have a lovely sunny weekend!

This could be Scotland’s summer so we’re making the most of it with another fire pit tonight. I also need to pack for my big trip tomorrow. I need to be at the Glasgow Science centre for a 7am sailing. I won’t be home until after midnight. A day on the water!

So if you’re feeling low today. Big hugs. This too shall pass.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Day 1491 a day in the garden, it’s finally our summer!!!

The forecast says it’s been 21°C but it feels hotter than that!

What a beautiful day.

We’ve had a very productive day despite the heat. I randomly spent the morning clearing out all of my clothes, tidying the drawers and wardrobes. I did some washing and got it hung out to dry. It really helped my head which wasn’t the best when I woke up.

Last night was amazing but mentally a lot more tough than I could have imagined.

I went to The Realignment Project with 3 of the girls I’ve been running with…. Gillian, Lynsey and Rachel two doors down. It was held on Luss Beach on the banks of Loch Lomond….Which was looking particularly pretty last night, after a beautiful day.

Here I am sitting on my yoga mat waiting for it to start.

The Realignment Project is run by two guys, James and Kenny. They run “outdoor coaching focussed workshops, helping you to realign and find your f****** awesomeness!”

It started at 7.30pm. They have great banter!

James asked us to write down something that we thought was holding us back and think about how we could change that negative feeling. There’s a lot more to it than that but that’s the gist.

We then did some yoga and settled down with our blankets over us for 20 minutes of breath work.

The breath work terrified me for some reason. I’m fine just breathing away but being told to focus on my breath induces a mild panic.

James leads the breath work and tells us we are safe, we are just breathing and he talks as we breathe to the rhythm he has set.

My fingers are tingling, I feel slightly dizzy, again this is all normal.

I start to cry. The tears start pouring down the sides of my face onto my yoga mat. I’m trying to hold it back, biting my lip trying to focus, I can’t let anyone see. To be fair we are all lying on our backs, on the beach, looking up to the beech tree overhead.

His words are really searching and they are stirring up emotions inside of me. I am not 100% content at the moment and there are things that need to change. He’s empowering us to make that change, step out of our comfort zone and go for it. The old “life is too short” thing. At least that’s what I hear.

I’m trying so hard to hold back the tears as we all slowly sit up. I can’t look at anyone and focus on getting into my cold water socks and gloves. Gillian is next to me and she spots me first. She gives me a big hug and says it’s ok as lots of people get upset during the breath work.

We start to do some warm up exercise pre cold water dip.

I swallow the tears as we head to the water…. This was the bit I was scared of but now my focus is to not start sobbing in front of everyone. 🤦🏻‍♀️😬

The girls I am with, and two others we went with, hold hands and walk into the water. It feels amazing. This is why I am here. I want to be able to go into the sea without the whole wetsuit palaver.

He talks us through our steps and tells us to stop. We stand still…. He asks us to think about our proudest moment in life. Feel that feeling.

We then all dunk under at the same time. Head under the water and back up. It feels amazing. The bottom lip is still wobbling away. I’m so bloody proud of myself for doing this but I hate that there always have to be tears. I am overwhelmed by emotion. I just need to have a bloody good cry.

I get a lovely hug from Lynsey and Rachel. I don’t want to bother anyone.

We “sit” with our shoulders under the water. I start to shiver uncontrollably. I start to breathe through it and the shakes pass. I look around and everyone is experiencing similar shivers.

I love being in the water. To be fair, it’s 11°C which is a lot warmer than any cold water I’ve been in recently.

We head out to the beach but I’m reluctant to leave and drag everyone back in. We need some photos of this!

There was no memo about wearing a black swimming costume 🩱 😂

I love that 3 of us are staring at the bottom…. 😂

Considering how emotional I actually feel at the moment…. Look at my eyes and that smile. That says it all.

The emotion doesn’t leave me. It wells up and I keep swallowing it.

We stopped at Starbucks on the way home for drive through hot chocolate. It was lovely!

I’m so grateful to the girls for asking me to go with them.

So yeah…. I felt really wiped out and drained when I woke up this morning. It was a lot to process but also the most wonderful thing to do.

I’m still feeling the effects of the cold too.

Back to today…. We pressure washed the main grass this afternoon.

Look at the difference!

The dogs ran out when we were finished and all 4 of them wee’d within a few seconds!!

Bhru is stalking Claire next door as she pressure washes too!

It’s lovely to sit in a “clean” garden. There’s still loads to do but a pressure wash makes it feel like a new garden.

It’s now 7pm and we have a fire started, planning to stay outside this evening. It’s not often we have a chance to do this.

A lovely day!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Day 1490 a lovely coffee with Lea, time in the sun and The Realignment Project in Luss.

Up at 6am this morning and out with the dogs.

It’s a beautiful day.

The sky is bright blue and the grass and trees are very green, in their spring like state.

I have Bhruic and Freya. In a vest top and body warmer I’m already overdressed!

I’m not in the best fettle this morning. A bit too hot headed and irritable…. Yes… again…. I managed to turn it around.

When you appreciate the beauty around you, it’s hard to stay grumpy.

Love the high level clouds.

Every time my head slips into a negative, and I caught myself, I would take a deep breath and focus on the walk.

It really works.

The trick is being able to see it.

What’s through this gap, they say?!?

I loved this tree. I walk past it often and yet today it looked really pretty.

Can never get enough of the blue! 💙

Back home for a double pupper swap and off our with Calaidh and Khaleesi.

They had a great run in the field.

Someone’s coming to get me! Calaidh just doesn’t move 😂😂

Looking over to the Isle of Arran.

Pretty clouds.

Another of my often photographed gates.

I had a quick shower…. Went to get some trainer socks out the drawer upstairs, got my phone cable caught between two toes on my right foot and walloped left knee first into my desk!

Felt really dizzy so lay for a few minutes. I have the tiniest of bruises but a bit of a lump! it hurts!!

I drove to Silverburn Shopping Centre to meet my friend Lea today. It’s the first time I have seen her since her lovely mum died.

It was so lovely to spend some time with her and get a good catch up. I was so upset I missed the funeral as I had a stomach bug.

We went to our usual Starbucks haunt then sat outside in the sun for a while.

Back home and straight out into the garden.

It’s just so beautiful today.

The Borders in the shade… Bhru has Thor’s hammer and Calaidh wants it. 😂

Khaleesi is loving the shade too. She must have acclimatised to our Scottish weather, if she thinks this is hot. It’s way cooler than Spain!!

She’s back out into the sun!

So tonight’s group of us are heading to The Realignment Project in Luss, on the Bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

We’ll be doing breath work, yoga, exercise and cold water therapy in Loch Lomond from 7.15 till 9pm.

The girls have gone to this a few times and have always fancied trying it. I was so pleased when Rachel two doors down asked me to go, I booked instantly!

I want to be able to go into the cold water without the faff of a wetsuit. I want to be at peace with it and not feel the freezing cold pain. Rachel says she’s a squealer (😂) and she managed it fine! (She’ll love me for that! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂) so here’s hoping I’m the same tonight.

Hope you have a great sunshine filled weekend. Hold your loved ones close as you never know when you might not be able to anymore. Lea’s mum was one of the lovely ones.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Day 1489 running with man flu 🤦🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🤧

I still felt rotten but this morning I decided to go out for a run with Lynsey at 5.45am.

Why?

I’ve hardly walked the length of myself these last few days and I need to get moving again.

I always remember Gavin, at the Fit Body Farm, saying if the cold is in your head you can still work out… not if it’s in your chest. This is all still in my head…. Not in that way, I am not making it up obviously. 🙄

So I set my alarm for 5.30am. Or did I?!??

Craig nudged me awake at 5.40am as the alarm hadn’t gone off, with a “did you not say you were going running?!” and I was out that front door in 5 minutes flat and probably running 6 minutes after I woke up!

I really enjoyed it and as hard as it was, I only walked 3 times to stop to blow my nose!

I was soooooo red when we finished. It doesn’t show up in the photo but I was beetroot.

The minute I got in the house the sweat absolutely poured out of me for ages. I had a cold shower and I was still beetroot when I left for work.

It felt really good to have been for a run though and I’m so proud of myself for doing it. Obviously, Lynsey and all the girls I run with keep me going, which is a huge help. I don’t think I’d do it on my own.

It’s been a really busy day at work as I’m finishing up for a few days holiday. It flew by… I got a bit panicked trying to tidy stuff up before I left at 4. I like to have everything just so before a holiday but I didn’t plan on being sick this week. I’m not sure anything was “just so” when I left but hey….

I’m not back in the office until Wednesday morning and looking forward to a wee break.

I’m sitting waiting to get my toenails done and the sun is shining…. And it’s warm!!

Toenails done (orange for the wedding we are going to next weekend) and home and it’s really hot now. Popped in to see Claire and then sat in the garden with Craig and our neighbour Kenny. Oh the banter….🙄😬🤦🏻‍♀️

We’ve moved down to the back decking that Craig pressure washed last weekend. We rarely get the sun here now but it’s lovely for the dying embers. It’s 20.20 now and the sun is just about to go.

The pups are having fun!

Happy weekend to you all when it comes!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1488 take the man flu to work!

I had zero intentions of going back to work today. I felt awful last night. I had no energy, was so listless and kept focussing on how “sick” I felt.

I wrote in the blog about how we should change our terminology. I told anyone who messaged that I was “healing” instead.

I had a rotten nights’ sleep, was coughing for Scotland but did manage to sleep in between. When I opened my eyes I realised my head felt a bit brighter and I couldn’t face the thought of wallowing about all day. The thought of lounging about for hours just didn’t appeal to me at all.

At 6.30am, I got up and decided I was just going to go back to work.

The instant I made the decision, I doubted it but I jumped in the shower and got moving.

Not gonna lie I have felt pretty rotten for a large part of the day, and have probably spread my germs around to anyone who got near me, but I’m so glad I went back and got on with it.

Ellison and I sat outside at lunch and I had a lovely salad. I could have done with a nap just after lunch, but that was not to be. 😂

One of my suppliers told me to go home and have a lie down 😂 and I reminded him I didn’t own the company like he did!!

I made another Planthood dinner when I came home.

Mine looks like this….

With my second favourite bush as a backdrop. 😂

It was really tasty. Minty fresh. I loved it.

I sat out in the garden to eat dinner. It’s not sunny but there’s a warmth in the air. The fresh air does me good.

I have kinesiology tonight. I will never be able to explain how this works but I just love it. I love the calm it brings me.

So I’m in my comfies, on the couch, I’m sparing the Crochet Hookers my cold.

Onwards and upwards!

A few good things to end with.

So true….

It takes so much strength to do this. ♥️

This…. ♥️

And this is what I fight all the time… the resistance to things that arise that I think shouldn’t… keep calm and stay in the present moment.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1487 man flu wins!

I had to stay off sick today. 🤧🤒😷

I actually had a great sleep until 4am.

Both progesterone induced and Cold & Flu night capsules 💊 (which are exactly the colour of that emoji) they knocked me out for the count. It’s so lovely to be able to breathe.

It’s 3.30pm and I just got out of bed for a change of scenery. I’ve slept on and off all day. I started to read a bit but my eyes were too sore.

My nose has finally stopped running but it’s now all stuffed in my sinuses.

So I’m not sick…. I am healing. 😘

A few positive things to end.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1486 is it possible for a woman to get man flu?!?

Therein lies the question, can a woman catch man flu if the man had it first? 😂😂

I slept really well but when I got up I felt pretty rotten. I took cold and flu tablets and it all dried up in time for work.

There was an incident on the road with a red car…. It stuck in my mind. It pulled out slowly from a junction to the right of me. I had to slow down as a result. My ego bent out of shape, how dare they…. How dangerous, did they not see me….. Blah blah blah.

I quickly caught that thought and as I watched them go from so very slow… foot to the floor and careering off down the road, obviously feeling bad for pulling out in front of me.

These are the irritations that we need to move past.

They can ruin our day, change our mood, enrage us for no reason.

You are lucky there wasn’t an accident, lucky it slowed you down if maybe you were driving too fast. How bad did they feel haring off like that. How unsafe was that?!?

I always love to look on the other side of things and try hard to think the best instead of the worst. It makes life so much easier.

I’ve been really busy at work, with customer visits which has passed the day. Just as well as my head was like thinking through cotton wool.

So yeah, comfies on, crackers and cheese for dinner…. And I’ve now gone deaf 😂 my ears have popped and won’t unpop…. Definitely man flu 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😘

Sorry it’s a quickie, I’m off to wallow in self pity 😂😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1485 I “dot de told” but had a good day anyway!

I woke up at 5am and felt like I was swallowing glass…. My throat was all scratchy and sore.

I got up and had a big drink of water and it seemed to help as I fell asleep until 8.30am, unheard of for me!

I stayed up for the Aurora again last night so I was shattered. I ended up joining Claire, next door in her back garden and we lay on the seats at her fire pit, holding phones up to the sky. Nothing was happening. I can’t remember when we came in… I think just before midnight.

Still got some moody shots… love that I’ve caught out 14 year old neighbours purple lights in her bedroom!!

The sky was much brighter than it had been the day before.

I triggered our security light down the back coming back in from Claire’s…. Blinded me!!

Just nothing happening in the sky.

My friend Michelle did get some Aurora shots from about half a mile away… I was in bed by then and couldn’t muster up the strength to head back out.

So back to this morning, I lay in bed for a bit, reading some positive quotes to lift my spirits.

Once I got moving I decided to head to Home Bargains and Aldi for a cheap toiletries, house cleaning stuff and food shop. All done by 10.30am. We’ve had no tin foil, extra virgin olive oil, bin bags or Fairy Liquid for a good few days…. I never run out of things like that…. This time I ran out of everything!

I feel really lethargic. Everything is an effort but I hoovered the house as it needed doing.

The 4 x moulting dogs have taken their toll! I’ve been picking it up on the daily, but nothing beats hoovering it up. Incidentally we have the Shark Anti hair wrap hoover…

Which does not do what it says on the tin…. No wonder it struggles to pick up at times.

It felt good to get it done even if I needed a wee sit down after each room!

I’m not really sure where the afternoon disappeared to.

It got really sticky and hot so I sat in the sun. Craig pressure washed the back artificial grass and decking and it looks lovely.

We just need to deal with my meadow garden (far left) which turned into a horrific weed-fest when I planted my meadow flowers… I may never hear the end of that!

Incidentally we have artificial grass because of the dogs. We lived one summer with three dogs and this is what it looked like.

After one winter…

Every time the dogs came in they were filthy. The artificial grass has been a godsend.

So we have to pressure wash it from time to time to freshen it up. “We”….. 😂

The bit Craig has just washed is away down behind the big black shed. We have a huge, beautiful garden but it’s a lot of work to stay on top of all the weeds, washing grass and staining all the decking and fencing.

We had a thunderstorm around 4pm… it got quite loud and heavy rain so I went for a shower. The heavens opened and Craig said the main road was running like a river.

The skies cleared and it’s been sunny again ever since. We’re sitting outside enjoying the birdsong.

My second favourite bush has started to flower.

I just love these colours.

The forest flame have both been reduced to a white hot heat now… see what I did there?! 😂

So not much else to report…oh I did made another Planthood dinner.

Craig had some too. It was a really good one… and I have some left over for lunch tomorrow.

So I’m just sitting here having some quality cuddle time with Freya. Pup #3.

Bless her wee socks. It’s lovely in the early evening sun.

So… remember that we can take whatever this week throws at us. We can choose how we respond to situations outwith our control.

I will try to remind myself of this 🤦🏻‍♀️😂🫶🏼

There’s a good chance of Aurora again tonight but the experts are saying that it won’t be the same as Friday night. That was a once in a lifetime opportunity. They say we can expect to see it again maybe in the next 23 years.

I’m undecided as to whether I’ll stay up or not. It’s hard to decide to miss out just in case “they” are wrong! One final pic as a reminder of how special Friday night was.

Stay safe everyone 🩷💜🩵

Day 1484 amazing Aurora last night in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 ♥️🩷💜🩵

Oh my word. (Polite terminology for blog purposes….)

I actually want to scream with excitement!!!

What a wonderful night to be alive.

The Aurora Borealis slammed earth last night, I follow several FB pages and Aurora Hunters UK & Iceland said there were 5 enormous solar flares all sandwiched together and expected to be a direct hit on earth. He said direct hits are rare but to have 2 M class flares and 3 X class flares, together in one massive hit, is totally unheard of.

We may never see these stats again at least for the next 7 years.

That is the reason I was not going away this weekend.

I was meant to be at home.

I sat out on a seat in the back of the garden after it got dark. Letting my eyes adjust. There was nothing….. except Craig about to get into bed.

I’m in my Auntie Jac’s Christmas onesie and Ugg boots to keep warm. I do look ridiculous!

Some of the running girls can see the Aurora before I can…. It turns out I’m looking the wrong way. Despite being told to look North, this one was distinctly in the south easterly direction!

It started like this….

To the naked eye it looked like wispy clouds but through the phone camera you could see the start of the colours.

I took a lot of photos but the south easterly view from our garden is all trees covering the sky….. I bravely stepped out the front door in Auntie Jac’s Christmas onesie…. I lost count of the amount of cars that saw me. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Faintly at first, it was like a giant rainbow over our village.

At this time, the colours were only visible through the iPhone camera and not visible to the eye.

I’m up the lane over from our house. I should say… that is not our house but a very photogenic subject!

Our lovely village. the colours start to become visible.

It’s moving all the time. I tried to video it but the light is not the same.

It was just breathtaking. I managed to get Craig out of bed so he could see it. Just as well really as I still don’t like the dark much. 😂

The light was changing all the time.

There came a point where it started to fade ever so slightly and we were both shattered…. We decided to head home.

Also so I could show other passing motorists my onesie 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It’s right over the house. Just beautiful.

So yeah… 12.30pm I got to bed and 5.30 I woke up… still so full of excitement from the night before. Run club was on at 6.45am and there were 7 of us this morning!

My throat was sore when I woke up so I found it pretty hard this morning… but I still ran my fastest 5k ever thanks to Claire for coming back for me at one point and Michelle for dragging me over the last 20 steps.

I was not buzzing and loving life by the end but I’m very proud of myself for doing it. We ran 5.47k at a 7.54 pace. By comparison the subsequent dog walks were about 15 km/ hr pace.

It is a beautiful hot day. It’s been 18-19°C here today. My blogger friend the Windsor waffle laughs at the Scottish definition of hot! 😂

Bhru and Calaidh first…. I’m coming for you mumma!!

Then Freya and Khaleesi. It was nice and shaded here.

Spotted my neighbour’s beautiful clematis this morning, so lovely against the blue sky.

Craig was working this morning, popped home then was heading out to meet friends in Glasgow.

So I dropped him at the train station and decided to treat myself to a Mocha Jaks strawberry milkshake!!

Sooooo good! I may have had a salad too but this was the best!

It’s the first time I have solo dined anywhere locally…. I did feel a bit odd… but I’m so glad I went as that was my treat for the day.

Mochas was also surprisingly quiet. They suited me… I sat outside.

Since I got home I’ve been lying out in the garden dozing on and off. I had a blanket over me.

When the sun when in, it got a wee bit cooler. When the sun comes out I deblanket if that’s even a word?!? I know it’s not.

I’ve done another 3 washing loads. All the dog blankets are washed now. My machine has been going all weekend 😂

There’s a good Aurora forecast for tonight but it might be cloudy here so we’ll have to wait and see. They’re predicting 10.30pm through to 2.30am. Remember to look at the sky through your phone camera. Look all round tonight as it might not necessarily be north.

Happy Aurora hunting if that’s your thing!

Stay safe everyone 🩵💜🩷

Day 1483 the hottest day of the year so far! ☀️☀️☀️

Ahhhh some real heat…. I say that and it’s been at 17-18°C here today and for Scotland that’s a pretty good day.

I’ve been in shorts and vest top all day apart from the dog walks. I’ve been very lucky not to be working.

I had another great, progesterone-induced sleep but woke with a sore throat and the start of a chesty cough. I’ve been so lethargic all day.

It’s definitely been the first day of the year that you could be out in the garden all day without feeling cold… yet I’ve not appreciated it for what it was. Instead I’ve been tired and a bit grumpy.

It was 8am before I started the dog walks this morning. Bhru and Freya first!

The grass has sprouted this week!

Love the colours of the farm.

Look how muddy Bhru got digging for a stone in the burn.

I am not throwing that stone!

This tree has lots of new leaves, there must be a beech hedge growing up the trunk too.

Then back home…. Chattering to Craig only to realise he was on a work call….. 😬😂 I sat outside in the garden for a bit before I took Calaidh and Khaleesi out.

Everything is so green.

Dry stane dyke.

I kept Khaleesi on lead so she didn’t run about too much. It was a slightly longer walk for her.

I got chatting to a lovely lady with a Malinois-cross. She was asking all about Khaleesi. We got chatting through a whole range of subjects! I lovely having random chats with someone I’ve never met. It’s good to connect with people.

My favourite gate!

The rhododendrons are out in full force.

A herd of coos…

A very random shot but I thought I’d try something different!

Calaidh’s laughing at me!

So back home and I sat out in the sun with my sunscreen on…. I was so tired I just sat with my eyes shut for a while. It felt nice.

I had no idea what to do with myself and started getting annoyed.

I guess my issue is that I want to be away and doing something this weekend, but I can’t.

My head actually has temper tantrums because I want to be doing something different. I’m not very good at relaxing and doing nothing.

When I’m in the house I’m surrounded by things that need cleaned and things that need repaired. I don’t want to be stuck inside doing housework on a warm day. I just want to head out and explore.

The thing is we can’t always get to do what we want to do all of the time and I don’t know how to make peace with that…. Instead I fight it and look for places that I could go. Rather than enjoying the moment, I’m searching for ways to make it better.

I decided to bring a camping table out and clear through my jewellery box.

Honestly that was not my best move. It seemed to open up a whole catalogue of negative thoughts as the jewellery reminded me of different times in my life and where had all that time gone?! I’ve 6 watches sitting doing nothing… what a waste of money. I saw the negative in it all….

I didn’t achieve much by doing it, I threw out a small handful of broken things but that was all. I couldn’t bring myself to part with most of it. As expensive as it all was at the time, it’s virtually worthless now. I looked up selling some of it but it seems like you get very little back.

I gave that job up after a few hours and started cleaning out the camping stuff from last weekend. I put the tent up and cleaned the floor. I put some things away in the shed.

Once I started doing something with purpose I felt much better.

I’ve done 6 loads of washing today and it’s almost all dry. I put most of it away.

Finally I was at peace. About time too!

The aurora might be really strong tonight around midnight if anyone’s interested . I read that it might be seen as far south as Spain!

I can’t believe I’ve been such a grump on such a lovely day.

Poor Craig won’t be home from work until about 8. He’s still recovering from his flu. He’ll be wiped out working that late on a Friday.

I’m off for a shower ready to make his dinner with a smile on my face 😬😂

Have a great Friday night!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1482 finally some heat in the west of Scotland! ☀️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

It’s 6.30pm and I’m sitting outside in shorts and a vest top….. finally. It feels so good to feel the sun on my skin!

I know I had sunshine in Rome, but it’s been a cold start to the year in Scotland. Anyone who’s here on holiday now is soooooo lucky!!

You can imagine I’m like a caged lion… where can I go, what can I do this weekend?!?!

Unfortunately Craig is working all day tomorrow and is out all day on Saturday so I really need to puppy sit my own dogs. 🐶🐶🐶🐶

I have looked at campsites for Saturday night but not sure if there’s much point in setting up camp again for one night. Hmmmm decisions…. Right now I’m very happy sitting out on the decking and feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin.

This is my current view!

I had a lovely wee night out in Largs, last night, with the Crochet Hookers.

We went to the Wetherspoon’s Paddle Steamer for dinner. It was really busy when we got in but the food is so cheap. The whole evening only cost less than £15 a head. I had vegan pizza which was surprisingly lovely, with hot chocolate and shortbread for afters. The hot chocolate was £1.76 and free refills. The shortbread was 71p!!!!

We did get a right good natter though. It was lovely to have a change of scenery.

It rained when we left so I couldn’t get any decent photos!

I actually really like this next one after I said that.

It was 9.30pm…. Way past my bedtime.

I set my alarm for the 5.45am run club, fully intending to be too tired and to roll over in bed, instead of going.

Last night was the first night of HRT progesterone for 2 weeks….. I was completely out for the count. I slept like a log all night. The alarm went off, I got up and had one of the best runs with Elly and Lynsey. Lynsey was photographer today!

Not sure I like my rear in this pic but I’m going to embrace it and then buy black leggings….

Lynsey has it ingrained in us that we have to touch the white line at the end of the road in Gielsand Estate!! We do it even when she’s not there.

I love this next one she took of Elly and I! It captures the sunrise run mood perfectly!

We did 5k exactly and I loved every minute of it.

It was so much easier than yesterday. I ran straight into a very cool shower again!

As I washed I really stopped to think about how far I’ve come and it brought some tears of gratitude.

I’ve come such a long way from the days where I could barely put one foot in front of the other even to walk the dogs.

I love the friendship of the run club girls. I appreciate their support and their encouragement. I love that I run so much further with them, than I would do on my own. I love the feeling of accomplishment. I love getting up early and running before everyone gets up.

I felt so alive this morning.

Fast forward to the half shut knife I am now… struggling to stay awake!! 😂😂

It’s been a good week at work too. It’s gone quickly and I’ve enjoyed it.

I made another lovely Planthood meal tonight….

This was one of the best I’ve had, if a little bit spicy! It tasted soooo good!

This is my latest view….. throwing a tennis ball as I type.

Will be an early night for me tonight I think. Hopefully a blissful progesterone induced sleep!

Stay safe everyone ☀️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿☀️

Day 1481 a bad sleep, a run, a fast day at work and Crochet Hookers tea oot!

It’s 6.12pm and I’m running out of time. Evelyn my Hooker friend is picking me up in 13 minutes.

Crochet Hookers are on tour once again.

We’re off to Largs for oor tea!! Actually we’re just off out for dinner… don’t know why I have to be all Scottish about it.

I had the worst sleep. Craigie came up to bed last night and he gave my ear plugs a run for their money!!! It wasn’t bad enough for me to move downstairs but it woke me 3 times… then I needed the loo… and then it woke me early.

I felt hungover when I got up at 5.30am to run with the Run Club girls. There were only two of us this morning. Elly and I.

All of a sudden my big toe joint is sore again and my knees have been sore. My bunion was agony in the middle of the night too… actually maybe that’s to blame and not Craig!!

I still got up and went for a run.

It wasn’t sore but I did tire quickly. Elly was great and pulled me around.

The smell of wild garlic was so strong. It’s everywhere.

I love these wee paths…

I look happy and actually I am…. I’m so proud that I didn’t call off because of how I felt.

We ran around 4.6k. I was struggling by the end of it!

Work was quick, busy and just kept going.

So yeah off out to Largs with the girls for a wee change.

Looking forward to it.

Happy Wednesday!

Stay safe everyone 😘♥️♥️

Day 1480 a lovely evening!

I’m sitting outside in the sunshine writing this… I need to go and walk the dogs.

I was up really early this morning to head to the supermarket before work so Craig had food in for today. He said he didn’t need anything last night but when I got home he literally had nothing…. He’s been under a duvet all day again. Still feeling rotten and still lashing in sweat. Wee soul.

It’s a lovely sunny evening. It wasn’t even warm enough to sit out at lunchtime today but it’s so calm and sunny now.

I have the sick boy duvet airing on the line at the moment.

The birds are twittering away… I could sit here for hours listening to them…. That’s obviously… mainly because I have to walk the dogs!!

I made another Planthood meal for dinner tonight but it was my least favourite.

Everything was fried so it seemed really heavy… not the usual fresh nutrition. Mine looked ok…

Just didn’t taste the best and that’s probably because I saw how much oil went into making it!

I will feel so much better when I just get off my backside and go walk el doggos.

I did it… I’m not gonna lie, as beautiful as it was, I felt I grudged every step. I’m so tired!

It was worth it for some beautiful photos.

Look at the colours!

There’s a warmth in the sun but I’m only in any shirt and it might not be that warm!

I took some photos of some dandelions… my friend Linda calls these wishes and I sent her a photo tonight. The new iPhone captured them really well.

These are weeds to some but so pretty to others.

I love that I can see beauty in so many places these days, things would have walked past before.

This isn’t the best photo but it shows the ferns starting to unfurl.

Follow the sunshine.

Zoomed in for this one.

I noticed these two planes in the sky, behind the power lines. They look like they are heading towards each other.

Then all of a sudden one of the banks quickly to the right.

I’m sure they were nowhere near each other really but it was fascinating to watch.

Calaidh looking pretty in the green field.

I love the way the light is shining at the end of the tunnel.

Passed these guys on the way home. They came over to say hi!

So I’m home, I’ve filled the dishwasher, put away clean washing and hung a wet washing up.

It’s almost 9pm. The latest blog for a whil!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1479 working Bank Holiday Monday!

For those of us who work a bank holiday…. It always feels a bit unfair that everyone else seems to be asleep when you leave for work… that said, the traffic is amazing. I have a cheek as my commute is nothing these days but there were less cars on my roads!

Poor Craigie is feeling really rough. He fell asleep on the couch last night, woke to eat some dinner and fell straight asleep again. I could barely wake up when I went up to bed. He was dripping in sweat.

I woke at 4.30 and went down to check on me…. Still fast asleep…. When I went in again at 6.15 he was awake. He was literally zonked all night.

He’s slept most of the day… which is just as well really, as we had no electricity for most of the day. Power cuts, low water pressure and no mobile phone signal…. It’s been some day for him, he’d be as well sleeping. Strange goings on in our village.

My ego feels really hard done to having to work a bank holiday…. It feels so unfair, why is everyone else off, why do I have to work, why…. And on and on…. But you know what, it can shut right up as we’ve had a great day at work. We got loads done, delivered a good few vans and it was so worthwhile being open.

Sometimes our minds just want to moan….. Want us to feel hard done to and as a result we feel bad for the day.

When this happens, and you recognise is for what it is, you are taking back control of your thoughts. The ego doesn’t like that and tries to win…. And I often still let it.

But not today.

I had a lovely walk with Claire after work. It was quite warm. We took Calaidh and Bhruic.

The sky is really dark against the green of the fresh growth.

It’s really dramatic.

We are lucky we don’t get wet.

The rain doesn’t come for a good hour and half afterwards.

The wild garlic is everywhere!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1478 kayaking around Tayvallich with Lindsay!

We had a lovely meal last night in the Tayvallich Inn.

I went to order the only veggie option on the menu, when the waiter asked if I was vegetarian….. I went bright red and said eh yes kind of…. When he produced a whole other menu.

The food was amazing. I highly recommend it!!

I had fiery cauliflower bites to start.

Followed by Tagliatelle Napoli.

And finally Salted Caramel Brownie and the most amazing ice cream…. It is under there, honestly!

We went for a walk after dinner and heard the bagpipes playing, carried over the water. It was so lovely, so surreal.

I love the lights in the houses as it gets dark. There’s not a breath over the water.

Reflections!

I stood here and listened as the piper played. I’ll share a reel later. It was just so lovely. There was a ceilidh on in the village hall so I think this piper was rehearsing before he went into the hall.

It was a lovely walk as it got dark.

I had the best sleep in my tent. I went in to bed about 10.30 and woke at 4.30. I seemed to fall back a sleep until 6am when Bhruic literally tried to get into my closed tent… she tried to get through the outer door then found she could get under it to the inner door then just kept on trying to get in. There’s no punctuation in that sentence 😂😂 I shouted Crai, who was just outside and he opened up the tent so she could jump all over me!!!

Craig and Bhru had tested out his new sleeping area in the back of his car. I believe it went well! He is loaded with the cold though and trying to make the best of it.

Lindsay and I went off out for a run at 6.15am… we ran from our campsite in Tayvallich (which I’ve only just realised, had two ll’s and not one. 😂) to Carsaig beach and back. It wasn’t a long run but about 3.5k.

This beach was beautiful but it would have been even better in the sunshine. The sand is white and the water would have been turquoise in the sun. 🩵

It’s still a lovely day. There’s no sun and it’s misty but it was so mild and atmospheric.

My legs were heavy this morning but I’m still so pleased we did that.

We went back to the campsite for a coffee then got into our kayaking gear… which means I borrowed all of Lindsay’s.

Euan and Lindsay are so good to us. They let us use all of their kit and give us free tuition too! They could charge a fortune!!

Check Bhru in her wee life vest.

And we are off.

Sadly Bhru wasn’t a massive fan… she did really well but it wasn’t her favourite pastime.

She wanted to see if she would walk on water.

I pulled alongside Craig so she could see me…

That made her so happy that she climbed out Craig’s canoe and had all 4 paws on my kayak!!! There are no photos as safety mode kicked in and she was swiftly removed back into the safety of her canoe!

Craig decided that it was all a bit too much for her so he’d head back in and let her play in the water and practice getting her in and out the canoe. Euan stayed with Craig.

Lindsay and I decided we’d head on her planned trip for the day… she sent me her Strava route. We paddled 10kms.

I love love love love loved it.

I am so proud that I can keep up with her… actually she will paddle at my pace obviously… but I love the peaceful calm of being out on the water.

It was so misty and grey that my photos aren’t great but it was the most beautiful scenery… the water was very dark green along the coast line.

The rock faces plunged vertically into the water in places.

The trees are all different colours as they start to bud at different times. The dark sea is teeming with baby jellyfish. It’s flat calm, mill pond like in places.

There are small waves and splashes in others.

There are geese nesting on the back of small islands for shelter. There were seals lying basking on the rocks in calm inlets, while the geese watched on.

In all the hustle and bustle of life. This beautiful place has just stopped. There was no bluster, no noise apart from birds, no stress, no people…. Just the two of us chattering away as we paddled and explored.

I loved it.

If I’m really honest the amount of effort involved in prep and cleaning up would put me off if we didn’t have such great friends to do it with. There is a lot of work involved to do this safely.

Thank you so much Lindsay for the planning and the time you take with me when we’re out. Thanks to Euan too for allowing us to use all of your boats… and especially the new paddle! Which floats apparently… thankfully…

I’ve always wanted to sea kayak.

While we were doing all of this, poor Craig was feeling really rotten as the cold he tried to fight through, really took hold. He had no energy at all.

As Lindsay and I headed back into Tayvallich for lunch we decided to call it a day on the paddling, as I felt I should stay with Craig. We had a picnic lunch by the sea but ultimately decided we should head home.

Euan tied all the boats together and brought them over to a cleaner part of the beach… as you do Mr I can paddle 4 boats!!

Poor sick boy is on the couch in a duvet while I’m hiding in the dining room having made dinner and writing this.

I am now officially shattered.

A lovely night away and the best day.

Stay safe everyone 🩵🩵🩵

Day 1477 crazy running morning and road trip to Tayvalich for camping! 🏕️

Run, Forrest, Run!!

Wow what an amazing start to the day.

The Gateside Run Club met at 7am this morning and there were 6 of us this time.

We ran nearly 5k and only stopped to cross roads. It’s the fastest I think we have run with least stopping. It felt great. Claire came today and was resident photographer!

She got some great action shots!

Lynsey, Emma and I with Elly and Michelle

My sports bra is literally singing by a thread and I’ve not bought a new one yet so need to prioritise that. It’s done some hard work over the years… I’m ashamed to say I only have one!!

It’s hard but I love it, it really gets me going. So much so that…. For the first time in ages, I actually took all 3 borders out at once…. AND ended up running!!

I ran into Lynsey who had carried on and was doing a 10k… so I ran back with her.

I was literally buzzing after it…. And beetroot!

I then got Khaleesi and headed off with her. We ran for a few minutes until I realised that it would do me good to walk to cool down and her poor legs probably didn’t need to be running too much.

All of this before 9am!!

I haven’t quite figured out how to read my run distance yet, they are stored on the Apple Watch ⌚️ but seem to have disappeared for now…. 😂 check the watch novice.

I’ve spent the last two hours, packing and getting ready for our overnight to Tayvalich.

This is where we will go today.

We’ll be leaving before 12… let’s see if that happens?! 😂😘

It almost did… 12.30… that’s not bad for us.

We had a great drive up. this is going to be a blog in pictures as I don’t have time to write as we have no signal so I’m pinching WiFi!!

Having the best time.

More words when I have a signal 😂😘

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1476 a funeral, the spider, the car, the housework and the lunch

I woke before 6am.

It was calm and sunny outside.

I mentioned recently that a guy I used to work with had died, well, this morning I watched his funeral. I love that I was able to do that when I couldn’t get time off work to be there.

I laughed and I cried but most of all I remember Des coming into my office and smiling and calling me Jules as he always did. Des was larger than life, everyone knew he was around when he walked in the office. He adored his daughters and granddaughter and showed me photos of them all the time. It was a lovely service for a lovely man.

We got up after 7am and had coffee outside. It was already clouding over.

We had to take Bertie Beetle down to the garage before 9am.

I got a towel for my shower and a MASSIVE spider crawled out!!! It was ENORMOUS. The capital letters don’t do it justice.

I SCREAMED at the top of my lungs and ran through the house.

It was GIGANTIC!!!

My Apple Watch chose that moment to vibrate and deliver a message.

I started jumping around trying to shake it off my wrist.

Comical upon reflection but honestly I’m still shivering and trying to shake it off.

Funny how those tiny creatures do that to us…. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

We dropped the car off and walked the 3 dogs back up the road. It’s a good hour and 10 minute walk, too long a walk for Khaleesi on her sore legs.

How lovely is this wall that we passed? The tiny flowers are so pretty.

I did stop to think when we got here… I’m conscious I get bored with the same walks all the time but we really are so lucky to live here.

The smell of the wild garlic is everywhere.

When I got home I really angrily started on the housework. It really needs doing but I really don’t enjoy doing it.

I know….. who does, but sometimes I approach it from a place of enjoyment. Today it just felt like hard work.

There is dog hair EVERYWHERE…. I’m shouting a lot today with my capitals 🤦🏻‍♀️😂. I also get frustrated about things being out of the place and I feel like I’m moving stuff around the house. I’m aware it made me angry today and I stomped about the house like a spoiled child. I was in such a huff that I had to do it.

So….. I dragged Craig out to Mocha Jaks for lunch. He’s got the start of a cold so is currently passed out on the couch as I write this.

He had a chicken and bacon club toastie and I had veggie haggis with cheese and siracha.

I’d fasted for 18 hours and 45 minutes so I really enjoyed my meal.

I had an oat milk latte and a Biscoff Rocky Road.

We popped past our friend Euan and had a peppermint tea and a chat before Craig ran me to the garage…… my car was parked away in this wee corner!

Turns out it has a dry bush.

It now has a wet bush.

Good to know. 😂

More importantly, the wetting of the bush didn’t cost me anything 😂

On the way back, I went to the Co-op to get some food for the weekend…. We’re heading away tomorrow for an overnight in Tayvalich with Lindsay and Euan.

I had a bath to relax when I got home. It’s only 6.20pm now and I could quite easily sleep already!

Have the best weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1475 5.45 run club and the wind thought it would blow away some of the lovely heat!

I woke just after 5am and lay looking out our non curtained windows, at the trees outside. It doesn’t look sunny but it is a lovely chilled way to start the morning.

Up at 5.30 and straight into my running gear as 4 of us were meeting for run club!

Here we are “in action” but stopped for photos as there was no multi tasking possible 😂

There were 4 of us, Caryn, Elly and Lynsey and I. We ran for 34 minutes and I only stopped a couple of times just to catch a quick breath, before starting again. I’m really proud of the way that I’m running and that I’m enjoying it.

I’m so grateful to have such a lovely group of girls to run with a different times.

I ran in the house and straight into the shower. 😂

When I went to feed the dogs I realised that our Butternut Box dog food hadn’t been delivered. I felt so bad that I hadn’t realised it never arrived last night and they didn’t get fed! Worst dog mum! As soon I was ready I headed down to the co-op for it opening at 7am!

So much all before 7.15am. 😆

Work was busy again and passed pretty fast… oh forgot I didn’t get Kinesiology last night as the lady got held up. Hence the reason I forgot about the dog food! I managed to get in to the pub to meet the Crochet Hookers instead.

Back to today…. Ellison and I sat outside at lunch time and there was a warmth to the sun. It’s so lovely to see the blue sky. The wind has picked up now and it’s blawin’ a hoolie outside. Blowing all the warm air away!

In other news the village is being used for some more filming tonight for the drama about the Lockerbie disaster.

We currently have film crews out in the street again and they’ll be here until 11pm. A nice wee bit of excitement for the evening.

Bertie Beetle goes back into the garage again tomorrow…. Another creak from one of the top mounts. The garage say it’s the poor quality parts supplied by the warranty people. The warranty people are questioning the repair.

Me 😬 right smack bang in the middle.

It’s all good though, I’m handling it.

Oh and finally. I’ve achieved 500 fasts!! I got a badge.

We just had a chat about how much I’ve changed…..no drinking, very little caffeine, fasting every day and now eating veggie and vegan. If you’d told me that 5 years ago plus, I’d have laughed in your face.

Who actually am I these days?!?!?

Turns out I kinda like this weird, random version of myself.

For now.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1474 the 1st May brings some warm air ☀️☀️☀️

Finally there was some heat to the sunshine.

Wow.

I can’t believe it’s the 1st May already. This year is flying by.

Ellison and I sat out at lunchtime, grinning like Cheshire cats and saying ….”wow”…. Every time the sun shone through the clouds. 😂☀️

Love this from Severe Weather Updates 😂😂

I felt instantly better the minute I woke up today. My head is clearer, the cotton wool is gone.

I feel calm and less irritable than yesterday.

It’s still been there but I’ve been way better at seeing the brighter side of it.

We have a choice in how we react.

I woke up with the alarm this morning so no chance for a run. Today that’s completely ok as I felt so grateful that I slept a bit longer.

Work was busy. I cleared two big jobs that have been at the back of my mind for a few weeks, another one to be tackled tomorrow. It felt really good.

The sun shone for most of the day. The forecast was for rain!

I came home and made another Planthood dinner.

This was how mine looked!

It was sooooo good. I know say that a lot but I really mean it. Mine never look the same but hey…. I’m sure they taste just how they should.

I have kinesiology tonight so I’m looking forward to that. I love exploring how my mind works and finding ways to understand it. I’m planning to do some work on my fears arising during my solo travel. I hope to remove some of the stress from that.

It’s so calming to feel better after a low day.

Stay safe everyone 🥰🥰🥰

Day 1473 a day of reflection ♥️

I did not get up for a run this morning. It’s dark and pouring with rain, I turned over and tried to ignore the fact I was awake in plenty time to go for a run, slightly beating myself up a bit…. Obviously!

I know fine well if I’d been meeting someone, I’d have gone out in a heartbeat, regardless of the rain, but it wasn’t happening this morning.

I’ve cleaned the bathroom instead.

I let the dogs out. The garden looks really fresh and green because everything is so wet. Things are starting to grown now. It looks really vibrant.

I’ve checked ahead in the forecast, as I do and it looks like we will finally start to see some warmth in the air this week sometime!

So if like me, you are heading out to work this morning in a bit of a funk… my friend Isy comes up trumps again with this…

I’m wrapped up now. Off to work.

Fast forward to tonight….

So, I’ve had an ok-ish day.

My head has been wrapped up in cotton wool and I’ve struggled to think straight. I’ve actually hit my temples a few times in an attempt to clear my head. Gently of course 😆

I’ve been irritable too.

Then I saw this and it does really help.

Just to breathe.

I didn’t get lunch until 2.15pm.

Holly next door had handed me in lentil soup and mac n’cheese last night, for my lunch today. How lovely is that?! So kind of her.

I heated it up then didn’t get to it for another 45 minutes… it was still amazing.

This…. ♥️

I’ve not been able to do it all day, but I have really tried. I feel like I’ve been arguing with my ego. It wants to be annoyed and angry at everything. There is absolutely no need to be angry.

I’m just tired and a bit flat. That is normal life. We can’t all be like Heidi the mountain goat, running about the world taking photos every day!!

Half the battle is knowing how you react in these situations and trying to correct it.

I felt much better by the time I got home and I made myself dinner.

Oh wow…..

These were just amazing. One of the nicest things I’ve eaten in ages. I’ve left a portion for Craig to heat up after work tonight.

I was then determined to get my exercise in, so took Calaidh for a walk up the hill.

She’s a happy girl. she’s a tiny black dot in this pic!

The bushes are starting to flower.

The trees are all budding now too.

There’s so much in life to be grateful for, even when you can’t see it sometimes.

Ooooh that little bit of wisdom brought a wee tear there.

I love it when the blog hits the nail on the head for me.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️