Day 118 awfy busy and a bit meh (cause needs investigation…)

So the meh bit first…. weighed myself before I went to bed last night (for some really strange reason I mean, why would you?!?) and was truly horrified at the result. Shocked. I am now over 14 stone and I’m only 5ft 4”…… I’ve put on half a stone since I was doing all those crazy steps back in the first stages of lockdown. I just can’t get into the right headspace at all to try and cut back but I’m disgusted with myself and horrified how much I’ve put on during lockdown. The first thing in my head is that I’m not even drinking so how can that weight gain be possible?!? (I know fine well why it’s possible…… 🤦🏻‍♀️😤)

So after a lot of soul searching today I’ve realised that I’m in the huff…. I have no energy to watch what I eat and track it, no desire whatsoever, the thought of it causes me huge stress. And yet…. I know how easy it is. I know it can be done but I am having a huffy childish strop in to myself because I don’t want to…. why me?!?

Extreme weight gain or weight loss is a part of symptom of depression. Not having the strength to prepare meals and eating on the hoof all the time. I had to choose to eat more on the hoof than I would have done eating full meals!!!

Anyway, sorry to the moan as there are a lot worse troubles at sea, I just thought writing it out might help and it does…. get over it Julie, just start tracking what you eat and the weight will fall off!

Never too late lardy ass 😫

So my day….. god knows how I managed a full time job when I’ve been so knackered today…. up at 8 to take Holly my neighbour, to the garage to drop off her car then down to the cash and carry so she can stock up the pub. Home for 11 and had 7 calls to make for Pawsitive Solutions so got into that… called everyone, 3 answered, 4 didn’t so I took the dogs out for a walk…

Turns out it’s a glorious day!!
Pups had a play in the burn
Freya never even made it in!!
Check this guy out?!?! He’s a monster!
Someone has painted this wee bench on the Gielsland road, it’s almost falling apart but this has given it a new lease of life!
Spotted this lovely bush… no idea what it is but the colours are stunning…. the blue berries really add to the colour.
The Beith Trust, Gielsland
More of my favourite thistles on the way home
The bee didn’t move at all while I was trying to take this while keeping 3 border collies off the main road, and talking on the phone!!!
The flower tubs on the way in to the village are full of sweet Williams now. Lovely.

So came home and called a couple of folk back and booked both jobs woo hoo hoo. Then ran next door back to the garage to pick up their car and by the time I got back realised I was late, for a very important date!!

Rachel, 2 doors down, and I are going to take over the Treasury of the Memorial Hall Gateside from Helen Craig who’s held the post for years.

We had a wee socially distanced meeting in Helen’s garden over a Becks Blue alcohol free beer! The sun was so hot… it was lovely.

Back home for 5.30 and had another call with someone I’d missed earlier! Then washing in and more out, dishwasher full, lentil soup on and then dinner! It’s 8 pm already…..

It’s funny given how hard I used to work that I am stressed out my box when I don’t get some down time in a day. Almost 2 years off sick really takes its toll and I’ve suffered from a lethargy all day that I can’t shake.

On a positive note I’ve not stuffed my self full of food which is something. I am how we, sick of the sound of my own voice after all that talking…. yeah yeah I know loads of you are sick of the sound of my voice too…. 😝

I confess to being too tired to look up Coronavirus news today…. I will try tomorrow I promise and I will also try to be a bit calmer and relaxed and a lot less moany!!!

If I recap it’s been a good day but I just didn’t get any chill out time and that still means a lot to me.

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜