Honestly felt dreadful this morning when I woke up. I had a great nights’ sleep but had been dreaming really heavily.
I dreamt I was helping at a coffee shop my mum worked at in Penicuik. For those Penicuikians it looked like Jean’s cafe up Lambs Pend…. and mum never worked there just to be clear 😆🥴😳 so weird!
I was making tea and coffee from an urn and people kept asking for lattes and cappuccino but I couldn’t do them…. every paper cup I picked up to fill with coffee or tea had a powdered cup-a-soup in it. Or the cup was ripped, or dirty. I couldn’t find any teaspoons, biscuits etc and people kept waiting and walking out, angry with the poor service.
So thinking about that I guess I’m worried about failure and letting people down? Even now in the afternoon I still feel like I failed everyone and it was just a dream!!!!! Go figure?!?!
I was also worrying about buying the van and how many things I will want to do to it blah blah blah 🚐 I should have stuck with the Beetle…. what was I thinking, how will I drive it, should I take the Beetle out to food bank deliveries in case the streets are busy and I can’t get turned….. on and on and on and on…… it is no wonder I’m so exhausted half the time!! 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😆
So I decided to do a meditation before I got up to see if I could get rid of the anxiety before I went out on deliveries. Craig went to let the dogs out to five me peace. I did another of Suzanne Robichaud’s meditations:
While it was a great meditation my brain would not let Suzanne’s voice win this morning. I argued almost every step of the way…. I fought the relaxation. I felt anger as I couldn’t relax. I know this happens at time and it’s ok but I was so tense and just couldn’t switch it off but I kept going and didn’t stop it. I angrily got up after it and had a coffee and a shower and out on some new 3/4 length denim shorts and set off……
Maybe the shorts helped?!? 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣 although I’m guessing it was the meditation even although I didn’t maybe seem tuned in to it at the time. What a turnaround…. as soon as I set off out.
It feels amazing to drive and it’s like an extension of me. You know how you know a car is right for you when it feels so easy to drive. Everybody had a good nosey when I went down to Geilsland and I had so much space that I could take all my deliveries in one go without having to head back to base in the middle. I drove up wee single track roads, reversed up hills and round bends, negotiated Meadowside in Beith which has fairly narrow streets and it was easy. One thing I didn’t do was take any photos of her in situ…. 🤭
I don’t say this very often but I am sooooooo proud of myself. I’m guessing the mediation helped even if I didn’t realise it at the time. I have smiled and laughed, joked and sang to music while I’ve been out today. I felt like my old confident self. Awwww so glad that I turned the morning around.
So deliveries all done and back home in the sunshine for a cuppa with Claire on her tea break. My neighbours are all desperate for the hairdressers to open back up and yet they all look lovely as they are. I’m the only ragamuffin that doesn’t care and ties it back and hopes for the best…. 💇🏻♀️💇🏻♂️💇🏻
So the chat about hairdressers comes from the new Scottish Government advisory released at lunchtime today.
So it’s all change again. It’s good to see businesses opening back up but it’s going to seem strange at the same time. I think we’ve become so conditioned to stay at home that I’m not sure I know how to do anything else anymore. I think most of all we’ll be looking forward to getting away camping sometime soon, maybe even for Craig’s birthday in July but we’ll wait and see.
(I’ve added the link to the government announcement below for anyone who’s interested.)
Then Claire invites me into the garden for some juice…. I had some and it was lovely and then we stupidly start building a garden archway as she couldn’t figure out the instructions and I wouldn’t let it beat me. The instructions were shocking!!! We had to redo a few parts and it only took us about an hour and a half but we did it!!!!
Next tine she asks if I want juice I might pass……. 🤣🤣🤣 honestly it was so great to giggle and we’re both damn proud we did it. She has a second one to build so beware unsuspecting neighbours.
All in all a great day!
Stay safe everyone 🧡🧡🧡