Day 847 a productive day that ended with a seat out in lovely sunshine ☀️

I woke at 6.15am….. by 8.30am we had both done all of the housework and sat down to a coffee.

Check….. Us….. ✅

It’s been a few weeks since I gutted everything so it badly needed doing and Craigie was quite happy to start cleaning at 7am…. God love him…. 🫶🏼 I guess he knows it will keep me from moaning for the rest of the day!!

About 10am I took the dogs out for a walk and spotted these 3 wee guys on the top of this gate. They didn’t move until we were almost past them.

Bhru started having a munch of the grass so I clicked at will trying to see if I’d get a funny shot of her.

How good is that!!!!

It looks like she’s photobombed a shot but shame it’s only grass in the background. Made me chuckle!

There was lots of lovely grass being sniffed and munched on today.

By this time I’ve already done two loads of washing and hung it out to dry. It’s overcast but warm enough.

Clean bed tonight!

We’ve burnt some wood and garden rubbish, done another washing, oh and I had a coffee with Claire in the garden. She brought these lovely hydrangeas from her garden.

Beautiful flowers!

Then we went into the pub about 2ish for a toastie and I’ve been sitting in the sun reading ever since. It’s been a lovely late afternoon. I feel calm but have no notion to do anything else. I’m really tired but it’s too late for a nap. Just an early night in clean bed I think… woo hoo.

So nothing exiting to report today… a doing day.

It’s been a great weekend. A real break. I feel like I’ve had a holiday!

Here’s to a great week ahead for us all.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 846 wake up in a van in Largs then have a lovely family day in Edinburgh!

It was a lovely day in Largs yesterday!

I had a lovely chill out back at the van after our late lunch. I went for a walk.

Found this lovely old bridge.

I make a feta cheese and egg salad for dinner last night. It started to rain slightly about 6.30pm so I moved into the van and sat and read and crocheted.

The campsite was jumping when I turned in at 9.30. I couldn’t keep my eyes open which is just as well as there were loads of folk having a blast.

All cosy

This but might only make sense to the Scottish amongst you but the two Natalie’s next to me… or “twa Nahalies” were cackling like a witches coven…. If I heard the name “Nahalie” once I heard it a million times!

It rained a fair bit overnight but I slept like a log. I can confirm the twa Nats we’re still going strong at 1.40am. 😆

Good news is they’re off to find a pub in Largs today so the campsite might be a bit quieter 🤣🤣🤣

It was really misty and damp this morning.

I had a lovely coffee and egg and feta Warburton’s thin…. (Bit of an egg and feta theme here….) for breakfast. I lay and read until just before 10. May have had a nap too.

Took this photo as I was leaving.

Shows how busy it was.

I headed down into Largs for a fender and a takeaway coffee from Costa.

Much gloomier today.

Back home, showered and out for a trip over to Edinburgh.

Mum’s cousin David is over from Australia so we’re all getting together to see him while he’s home.

We have had the loveliest day! We’ve been in Duddingston in Edinburgh at mum’s cousin Joyce’s. (funny how I call her that!)

I do not have copyright to post a photo of Mum’s cousin Joyce 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I got an oh no no no no no….. So here’s a pic of me and my boy.

It’s been a beautiful afternoon, really hot and sunny at times and we’ve been outside all afternoon. Such a difference from this morning’s weather. Joyce laid on a lovely spread and we’ve all talked the hind legs off a donkey all afternoon (what does that saying even mean?!)

Here’s my Mum and my Auntie Marion. I haven’t asked them for copyright…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣😘

Lots of chatter, lots of laughs, a really lovely day.

I feel like I’ve had a proper break this weekend. A great few days.

Happy Saturday night!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 845 wee cheeky overnight camping in Largs just me, myself and Abbie the camper van! 🚐

Well this was a wee last minute plan.

It looks like it’s going to be a lovely weekend so I thought I’d get away for an overnight in Abbie the camper van and oor Craigie said that he will cope and try not to be too sad and lonely without me #craigiehasanempty 🤣

I feel like I’ve not made good use of the van this year so really fancied a quiet night away in the sunshine so I’ve come to South Whittlieburn Farm just north of Largs, on the west coast of Scotland. It’s only 30 minutes from the house but a change of scenery and the fresh air, will do me good.

That said…. On checking in, I was told it likely to be pretty noisy tonight as they’re full…. I said I was having a wee quiet night away on my own and she grimaced and said “oooh I think you’ll be lucky….” 😳

That’ll be me later trying to shut everyone up!

So I’m up against a hedge hiding so I can pretend I’m up here all alone. I’ve wanted to try this site for a while. Sadly there no sign of the sea and I guess it’s just not really what I expected. At the moment it’s quieter in our own back garden with the pub beer garden full next door!!

There are workmen rough casting the main house so a fair bit of the noise is down to them at the moment.

I have my own gate 🤣🤣🤣

This is where social media can give you a false impression…. You can’t see all the other campers from my photos… just showing you the solitude…. 😆

So I was up at 5, worked very hard at the Fit Body Farm. It was the same as last week, the interval training killer session! There were only 7 of us so I quite like a wee quiet class.

Back home and out a walk with Bhruic and Freya first then back home to meet Holly (next door) and Leo and the second walk of the day. All this done by 10am.

Its 1pm now and I’ve done 14,224 steps already!

Should say here that the kennel cough pups are not too bad. Calaidh’s seems to have passed and Freya only has a slight cough now. Bhruic seems to have missed out which is good.

Craig was working in Greenock this morning so is going to drive past the campsite and we’ll head into Largs for lunch.

There’s no signal here so I will post this when out for lunch.

I have my crochet and a good book. I’ll be fine!

My blanket’s coming along really well though god knows where all these crochet things are going to go!! Our house is festooned with crochet blankets these days. I really do not live life in the fast lane these days. 😊🤣

We’ve come to Bueno Onda in Largs for food. We’re sitting outside with a view of the sea and it feels very cosmopolitan.

The menu is tapas and while service was pretty slow, the food was really good.

Highly recommended if you have the time to chill and watch the world go by.

Craig will drop me off back at the campsite and head home.

It’s been a lovely day so far!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 844 when you wear shorts to work and get torrential rain 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

I didn’t post last night as I had a really low day yesterday.

I felt very tearful when I first woke up, so much so that I decided to try and get a Kinesiology appointment to help sort out the extreme thoughts in my head.

I was lucky enough to get one for 5pm.

It was meant to be.

I didn’t want to write another post about feeling bad. There’s always the fear that I’ll “slip back” into depression and that fear probably makes me feel worse.

Anyway. Last night’s session focused on self forgiveness and gave me the following affirmation to say every day.

“I am clear, I am defined and I am on my path”.

I’ve felt so out of sorts recently with the burning desire to travel and a million reasons why it can’t be done. I felt trapped by the reality.

I see all these things saying life is short and yet I spend weekends doing nothing and going nowhere.

Hence the self forgiveness….

As usual…. The session does the trick. I am exhausted but I feel so much more calm than I did when I went in.

I get myself into such a state at times. I was about to say… for no reason… but that actually not true. These days my mind screams at me when it doesn’t like something….. I used to go about my day pleasing everyone else in the world, apart from myself…. Yet these days something goes “uh oh, no way, not this again, stop right there, something’s not right, here we go again…” and the chatter is incessant.

The minute I figure out what’s actually causing it….. calm.

So yeah, a much better mindset today.

I’m still really tired but no wonder as I’ve overthought so much there must have been 6 weeks worth of thinking in this one week.

I’ve got a wee half hour massage booked at Harmony in Beith tonight….and I need it. I’ve built up so much tension and worked hard at the Fit Body Farm.

Not gonna lie. It’s over as fast as I can type that sentence. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

It was amazing and I think I must have almost drifted off…. Need to do that more often. Norma works wonders. 💜

We’ve had a good week at work. I’ve just been battling negative thoughts and that’s made it so much harder.

Yeah shorts today, not my smartest move…. It’s not been that warm and the heavens opened about 3.30pm and I got soaked when I left work and had to take parcels to the Post Office.

Funny though after Tough Mudder…. None of that actually matters. 😆

And it’s now my weekend!

I’m ready for a rest.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 843 breathing in the sea air after a day in the office!

I am sitting right here… right now….

The Isle of Arran in the distance

I’m back at Portencross (on the west coast of Scotland) sitting out on the rocks and it’s the first time I’ve been here in ages.

It’s not massively warm, there’s a strong breeze blowing but the sun is promising a return.

It’s been a better day today but I needed my fix of the sea.

I felt really tearful when I woke this morning as my head was still not in a great place but I tried really hard to get myself out of it. I read this….

That’s exactly it…. Every emotion is telling me something. I used to skid my way through life from one drama to the next swallowing it all down, plastered a great big smile on my face, tried to be everyone’s friend, put everyone first, drinking wine to try to cover it up and make me smile then on to eating Cadbury’s Chocolate Buttons to do the same thing. 🤣

Yet now my emotions are screaming at me to face them. Head on. And just sit with them.

It’s a horrible feeling when you try to decide the cause of the upset…. but it needs doing. I’ve always rushed to talk about everything so I get validation that it’s right to feel the negative thoughts… it’s justified.

I shouldn’t need to do that. I should be able to validate things myself.

I went into work with a much calmer head that yesterday.

The Universe whapped a few doozies at me first thing but I didn’t lose my shit. I felt calm and looked for resolution.

A guy just kayaked past me, don’t know who got more of a fright, him or me?! I’m right down by the water on the rocks and no one else is around!

I’ve had to come back up to the van as the wind didn’t let me find the peace that I needed. Sitting here now is really helping calm my mind.

Of course I still have way more photos to share.

My stomach is telling me it’s time for food. It is 6.40pm after all.

I’ve made good food choices today and I’m still not pigging out on junk food, I’m opting for healthier options. Long may that continue.

Some arty van shots….. 🤣🤣

A lovely lady sent me this today and I know it to be true.

The difficult days are sent to teach us more. As hard as they are.

The sun is out over my shoulder. I am present in the moment. No worries, no fears, no anger, just present and it feels so good.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 842 back to reality after all the lounging around at the weekend… 🦥🦦

Boy today was tough….

It wasn’t actually. It was only tough in my head. I’ve been so unkind to myself all day, honestly, it’s been relentless.

So let’s be clear…. The reality is that I had a good day, very busy and the time flew, but all in all a good day… and I can actually see that quite clearly.

My evil anxiety brain will tell you otherwise. Honestly it’s exhausting…. From the minute I opened my eyes.

Why did I waste my weekend? Why was I so lazy, why didn’t I do x, y or z?

Gets to the Fit Body Farm and found it really tough this morning. That’s ok, I just wasn’t feeling it this morning. Nope….. see, if you’d done more at the weekend, you’d have found that easier, serves you right. If you’d eaten more nutritional food you’d have more energy…. Everyone else is running faster… blah blah

Gets to work….the boss man is on holiday this week at the same time as the guy who has all the answers to my questions 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 this is not the end of the world, it’s only a week, I know my stuff and I’m more than capable. Nope…… what if, what if, what if….. how will you cope if…. You’ll fall apart, you’ll make the wrong decision, you’ll never get it right. Whatever you do won’t be the right thing.

It was really busy…. Lots of customers in. It was 1.30pm before I got lunch but I did take a full half hour and I even lay down in Abbie the camper van for a bit. That helped and I think I was kinder to myself in the afternoon.

I had so much to do, I should have stayed on but my head wasn’t focussed enough, it was caught up in my self created drama.

I almost feel like two people throughout these episodes now. I am so aware of how I’m sabotaging myself but just still can’t seem to stop doing it.

Some very wise words from my friend Tracey in Canada…. I kept myself safe by being small…. And now it’s time to live large and fearless.

Wow. It feels very safe to feel small, quiet and hidden from view and very scary to live large and fearless.

Typing that has brought the tears. Hits nail on the head.

On the outside I’ve been all smiles and under control but on the inside fighting all of this negativity.

Anxiety sucks.

I created all of that by myself, for myself. There’s no need for any of it.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 841 a lazy Sunday with dog walk, coffee and lots of travel stuff!

A rude awakening this morning…. the dogs sleep in the bedroom above us. We have an old cottage and the upstairs rooms are not built for oor tall Craigie but perfect for puppers.

One of them was coughing and sounding like they were going to be sick. I admit to lying for a while, listening and thinking it would pass but there came a point when it sounded so horrific I had to run up.

I then woke Craig and we watched her struggle as if trying to be sick but she actually perked up after that, she’s eating and drinking and been for a good walk.

So yes….. we went for a walk with Rachel and Nacho, two doors down this morning.

We may have nipped into our local coffee shop Mocha Jaks for a takeaway coffee!

Their flowers looked lovely against the dull, grey day.

It started to rain about now and has rained on and off again all day.

Calaidh standing in the burn waiting for something that never happened!

The flowers in our garden were looking lovely in the rain too… despite a dull day the colours are really vibrant.

So mood wise I’ve been better today. I’ve been tired but accepting of not doing much.

I did a meditation this afternoon with the focus on manifestation again. I’m really enjoying them.

We ended up on the pub for soup and a toastie at the back of 2 and I may have ordered the kids menu “Party Ice-cream” for dessert. (Think I manifested that?!? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣)

It was really lovely and all part of not denying myself anything. We won’t have dinner tonight. We won’t move off the couch now I reckon 🤣🤣🤣

Calaidh is still having random coughing fits and all you do is pet her and be with her until it passes….. this is signified by the moment she reaches for a beloved tennis ball and wants you to throw it. 🎾🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

With hindsight we think it might be kennel cough. We’ve listen to clips online that sound exactly like her cough. Poor poppet.

So all in all another really quiet day but made so much better by choosing it.

I’ve had a HUGE amount of travel show up today…

Wow!

Ok…. I hear ya!!

Pretty sure I definitely manifested all that!!

So that’s Sunday night again…. Here’s to an easy week with a calm and collected mind.

In control.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 840 a day of rain with a dog walk and a nap! If (insert something rubbish) did Saturdays 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

I had done 3 mini meditation and manifesting sessions before 7am this morning…. I woke at 5 and couldn’t get back to sleep so thought I’d put the time to good use!

I worked on the weight loss and manifestation of abundance and also cleared any negativity or trauma. (I sure seemed to pick that back up later on but hey… I put it down for a few hours or so…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣)

We spent some time online this morning, looking to plan a trip somewhere for next summer, taking Craig’s car and camping as we explore. Looking at Europe but will need to renew our passports before we can even think of doing that. They expired in April 2021 and there seemed no point in renewing them back then. Of course now, there are huge backlogs, so we will have to do it in plenty time at a cost of £150 😬

It’s been raining most of the day and while the ground really needs it, my mood has matched the sky. Despite a happy and mind clearing start to the day, I seem to have gathered my own storm clouds along the way.

We took the dogs out around lunchtime and I finally spotted some thistles growing at the side of the road.

I’ve seen a lot here over the years but there don’t seem to be many this year.

I love them so much. Funny how a thistle can make you happy…. Shoulda carried one of them around with me for the rest of the day…. 🤷🏻‍♀️😆

About 1pm I got back into bed and slept until 3.15pm. It was a great nap and I wasn’t disturbed by anything…. Not a single squeak was heard from the pup monsters.

I’ve been working on the Village Hall accounts the rest of the afternoon. They didn’t add up again so I took it all out on them 😆 they do now ‘cause I made them…. 👊🏼

So all in all that actually reads like a pretty perfect day.

So I will choose to be grateful for what I did do rather than all the other things I thought I should or would have.

I’m off to work on my crochet again! Hard life this eh?! I often think folk with kids must read this sometime and think that a day of nothing is their idea of heaven…. Where I’m feeling like it was a waste.

I love this 💕

Have a lovely SATURDAY evening everyone… I actually remembered the day today. 😆 check me.

Stay safe everyone 👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼

Day 839 fitness, dog walks food and relaxation! 🏋🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🐶🚶🏽‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️

I’ve had a lovely day off today. The farm was a KILLER this morning… but I loved it.

Two words….. interval training.

Relentless. I honestly think it’s the hardest I’ve ever worked.

There were only 8 of us there and we were running in a kind of relay so our team was depending on us. I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast. Or been that absolutely knackered!!

I came home and straight into the shower. My face was still beetroot and booming!!

We had to take Abbie the camper van to the garage this morning as she needed a new door hinge fitted….. the bill was a lot less than the usual £400 I seem to spend every other time she’s in there!

I’d opened the door in very strong winds on Tiree…. Knowing it was close to gale force so held onto the door and the wind took me with the door….. there was a sickening crack and that must have been the hinge breaking. I couldn’t figure it out at the time but from that point on, the door opened further than it should, so I knew something was wrong. Bhru had just been sick in the van and I was terrified at the thought of a very stormy ferry ride so it all just added to my stress that day!

Anyway, all fixed!

So it’s been a day of dog walks and eating out. First walk with Holly and Leo next door… I took Freya and Bhruic and we went up the hill opposite the house.

Then I took Louise and Rachel from next door, to Mocha Jaks coffee shop, which is about a 20 minute walk from us.

Leo and Calaidh waiting for their doggy sausages

I chose the Avocado Toast which was really lovely….. AND…. Didn’t finish both slices of toast. Unlike me!

The girls ordered cakes to take home and I didn’t get any. Check me. It didn’t take willpower, I just didn’t want one. I should say here that Mocha Jaks do the most amazing cakes!!

We walked back home and I hung up two washings and sat down… I was shattered but I did some meditation and really enjoyed it, felt really relaxed after it so I then started on my crochet.

Craig came home and suggested the pub next door for food!!! Eating out twice in one day?!? So I have had more to eat today than I have in the last week but in still feel it’s nothing compared to what I would usually eat on a weekend.

I’ve been crocheting all evening. We’ve The Grey Man on Netflix… it was really good. Hence the late blog. 😆

We seem to be loading photos again. WordPress have been really helpful dealing with the issue but I’m still not really certain what caused it. I’m not adding many in tonight.. 😆🤗

Hope you’re all having a lovely Friday…. Jeez I actually typed Sunday then deleted to Saturday…. It’s still only Friday! Woo hoo.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 839 fitness, dog walks food and relaxation! 🏋🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🐶🚶🏽‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️

I’ve had a lovely day off today. The farm was a KILLER this morning… but I loved it.

Two words….. interval training.

Relentless. I honestly think it’s the hardest I’ve ever worked.

There were only 8 of us there and we were running in a kind of relay so our team was depending on us. I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast. Or been that absolutely knackered!!

I came home and straight into the shower. My face was still beetroot and booming!!

We had to take Abbie the camper van to the garage this morning as she needed a new door hinge fitted….. the bill was a lot less than the usual £400 I seem to spend every other time she’s in there!

I’d opened the door in very strong winds on Tiree…. Knowing it was close to gale force so held onto the door and the wind took me with the door….. there was a sickening crack and that must have been the hinge breaking. I couldn’t figure it out at the time but from that point on, the door opened further than it should, so I knew something was wrong. Bhru had just been sick in the van and I was terrified at the thought of a very stormy ferry ride so it all just added to my stress that day!

Anyway, all fixed!

So it’s been a day of dog walks and eating out. First walk with Holly and Leo next door… I took Freya and Bhruic and we went up the hill opposite the house.

Then I took Louise and Rachel from next door, to Mocha Jaks coffee shop, which is about a 20 minute walk from us.

Leo and Calaidh waiting for their doggy sausages

I chose the Avocado Toast which was really lovely….. AND…. Didn’t finish both slices of toast. Unlike me!

The girls ordered cakes to take home and I didn’t get any. Check me. It didn’t take willpower, I just didn’t want one. I should say here that Mocha Jaks do the most amazing cakes!!

We walked back home and I hung up two washings and sat down… I was shattered but I did some meditation and really enjoyed it, felt really relaxed after it so I then started on my crochet.

Craig came home and suggested the pub next door for food!!! Eating out twice in one day?!? So I have had more to eat today than I have in the last week but in still feel it’s nothing compared to what I would usually eat on a weekend.

I’ve been crocheting all evening. We’ve The Grey Man on Netflix… it was really good. Hence the late blog. 😆

We seem to be loading photos again. WordPress have been really helpful dealing with the issue but I’m still not really certain what caused it. I’m not adding many in tonight.. 😆🤗

Hope you’re all having a lovely Friday…. Jeez I actually typed Sunday then deleted to Saturday…. It’s still only Friday! Woo hoo.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 838 in need of some relaxation methinks… 🧘🏻‍♀️

Jeez I am antsy as today…. Didn’t sleep well for the second night in a row and woke up feeling a bit jittery. Not sure why….

I had huge plans for stuff to get down at work today and when I could see it wasn’t happening as planned, I think it only made me worse.

I’ll reiterate that this is only in my head and fully generated by me, myself and I.… tiresome isn’t it.

The stuff I didn’t get done can easily wait until next week and was not urgent. Just was in my strict plans…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😔

I’m antsy at home too. I feel like I’m huffing and puffing all over the place, seeing the mess everywhere and not wanting to do anything…. Except huff and puff.

I think I could do with a bit of meditation so I’ll try to make some time for that this morning.

I’ve been doing my evening visualisation for weight loss and it’s still working. I am no longer ravenous for unhealthy sugary food. My appetite has totally changed in less than a week.

Tonight we had gammon steaks, potatoes and fried garlic mushrooms and it was really lovely. I wouldn’t have cooked that last week. I would have actually hated the thought of it.

I’ve had a few headaches this week but that’s hardly surprising as I was gorging on chocolate last week. 🤣🤣

Soooo in order to calm my head there’s actually a meeting of 3/5 of the crochet hookers tonight. I’ll be thinking it’s Thursday tomorrow. I’ll be all out of sorts 🤣🤣

I’m hooking away! 🧶🧶🧶

You may have noticed the photos didn’t load in the blog last night well the same is happening tonight so I’ve taken them all out.

I’m in discussion with WordPress as I’ve just had to pay £84 to renew my membership!! hope they can fix it soon!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 837 Craig’s birthday!

I’ll make this quick today… I’m just waiting on Craig to get home from work.

It’s his 47th birthday today and I’ve been sending him a WhatsApp message every hour today since 6am talking through our life together with photos.

It got a bit stressful when I was too busy at work to manage the 3 and 4pm ones but to be fair I am there to work!!

I had the messages all ready to go in the Notes app on my phone. Just had to copy and paste and send.

We knew we would be together after the first week and the rest is history.

You all know it wouldn’t be a marriage if he didn’t drive me up the wall at times and of course, I, him….. we’ve had our tough times but also some amazing memories made over the years. I’ll just share a few photos to show the changing face of my hubby over the years.

We took my cousin Linda, from Australia, on a tour of Stirling Castle… the guide pointed to him standing against the wall and said “you don’t get more Scottish that this guy here!!”

Happy birthday Craigie! Love you more ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 836 a record breaking HOT day in the UK

That’s some statement isn’t it….. hotter than 98.8% of the planet. Thankfully we had nowhere near that but poor mum and dad (along with millions of others obviously!) we’re stuck right in the thick of it.

It started late morning… the weather in England hit a record breaking high.

And the highs just continued to come throughout the day.

And finally….

104.54F

I reckon we only had a big of 25°C today at work but it was still super hot so can’t begin to imagine what 40.3°C felt like.

It was all everyone spoke about when I was calling suppliers in England. Their fans were just blowing hot air around their offices! Ours was too but boss man bought us a Walls Calippo about 2.15pm today that was so good! Sooooo cold!

So really sadly there are huge fires in London today.

I actually cried when I saw this on tv tonight. There’s footage of guys out in their back garden hosing down houses next door that are on fire… desperately trying to stop the fire from reaching their own property.

Also the firefighters dealing with this unprecedented event and having to work in 40°heat. My heart breaks for everyone who has lost their home today and been involved in some way. A tragic end to a record breaking day. 💔

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 835 I’m officially obsessed with the weather!!! ☀️🔥☀️🔥☀️🔥

My head hurts… it’s 7.15pm and it’s been a scorcher today and my head is thumping. I’m trying not to complain as we have nothing compared to down south but we are just not used to this.

Let’s get this straight though… I am a lover of the heat… or I was until this spell. The last time I was in this kind of heat I was a lot thinner than I am now… and I’m just recovering from Covid so these could all be a factor.

I’ve been dragging myself like a dead weight all afternoon….

My parents are still on holiday down south in their caravan…. I’m obsessed with checking their weather. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Look at the grass beside their pitch…. Honestly it’s crazy. They’ve had 36°C today (96.8°F) and their forecast tomorrow….

Up to 106°F tomorrow. I was struggling to deal with 25 °C today (77°F).

And some politicians say global warming isn’t a thing…. 😳🥵

I should also say here that we don’t have aircon as a rule here… it’s just not something we need. Or needed…. I bet it will become a thing in future if this weather becomes a normal occurrence.

Anyway my obsession with it is giving me the headache. I need to get a life 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣

It was warm at the Farm this morning even although the workout was less cardio driven.

The sky at 5.30am

It was a beautiful morning.

My black van had attracted the heat all day… I’ve a wee interior thermostat in the van.

It was hot when I left!

I had a lovely wee trip out before dinner to look after a friends bunnies as they are on holiday. Wee cutie pies… I was there for about an hour taking a million photos!

There were so cute running around like maddies. Having a wee crazy hour!!

It was lovely to be able to help and I really enjoyed it.

In other positives I tackled an issue that was bugging me this morning that is only an issue because I made it one.

I found this on FB today and it was just what I needed to see.

You are what you choose to become in this moment. Do not allow an event to control your thoughts. Let it go, move on and begin again.

Mum saw this today and it sums it up!!

I always end with stay safe everyone but I mean it even more. To everyone facing that heat tomorrow and especially my mum and dad.

Stay safe everyone 🔥🔥🔥

Day 834 20°C and I did precious little all day!

I woke at 4.30am…. Wide awake in my big empty double bed. I blame the lovely Gro Coffee yesterday as I forgot to ask for decaf…. Again 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

I read for a bit and fell back to sleep until 8.15am when I thought I better rescue Bhruic and Freya from their ivory tower….. they hadn’t made a sound all night. I went upstairs to bring them down and they’d had the big light on in their room. 💡😱

I felt so bad…. Trying to sleep in bright light must have been torture.

How lovely is this?

To be fair, they’ve been fine all day so it obviously didn’t deprive them of sleep.

I let them out and then we lay in bed for a while and read… ok I lay in bed while the pestered the life out of me to get up!

They lay outside while I had my coffee and watched this pigeon walk around the garden like it owned the place. They never moved until it flapped and flew away which caused great excitement.

We went for a walk with Holly, Leo and Nacho. Team Cockapoo vs Team Border Collie!

It’s really close today. The sun wasn’t out but it was T-shirt weather for the dog walk.

The crazy heat is still coming.

What we are expecting in Ayrshire is nothing compared to down south of England where Mum and Dad are.

41° and 42°C in there (up to 107°F for my Fahrenheit friends!!)

It seems Australia are also having recorded breaking cold spells…..

The blog has turned into a forecast again eh?!?

So apart from the dog walk today… I have done nothing else! I’ve sat in the hazy sun and read a whole book.

Craig and Calaidh were home by 12pm and have had a great time but missed me sooooo much I heard them say. 🙄

I’ve been working on some meditation this weekend. Convincing my body that it does not need all the sweet sugary things it’s been craving.

I’ve downloaded The Gabriel Method – the revolutionary diet free way to totally transform your body. (How’s that for a sales pitch?!?)

I know I’m easily impressionable these days but after 4 nights listening to the 10 minute free meditation, I really find it helping my food choices already. It’s taken away the crazy, crazy urge for sugar which has got to help.

Actually that’s very unfair of me to say…. Easily impressionable…. Belittling myself….I mean that I am proudly in tune with my energies so I’m able to fully believe that this is possible. Just have to make the meditation part of my daily routine and stick with it.

I’ve taken a lot on board this week about me causing my own anxiety and I’m trying to turn things around by manifesting the good stuff rather than constantly bringing the bad.

I’d you don’t change anything then nothing ever changes.

Dinner miraculously appeared from Holly in the pub tonight…. So lovely and almost like she knew I never had much in. I ate the steak, mushroom and onion in red wine gravy with the turnip mash. A few days ago I’d have scoffed the lot them been looking for dessert… long may this continue.

So Sunday night already. I’ve had a lovely “empty” weekend but it’s been lovely to have them back. The gang are all back together again.

♥️♥️♥️

Here’s to a beautiful week of sunshine for us Scots and some scary heat for my lovely friends and family in England.

Stay cool and hydrated.

If you want to change one thing this weekend then practise daily gratitude…. Every night before you go to bed… just 3 things to be grateful for. Even if they seem silly at the time and make you smile at their ridiculousness….. if that’s even a word. It’s good to go to bed only something positive.

Stay safe everyone 🔥🔥🔥

Day 833 a lovely lunch out!

Let’s start with last night, I had a lovely dinner with Claire and Graeme.

We sat outside until 8ish and was getting much cooler by then.

I came home, jammies on and watched Persuasion on Netflix. A good girly movie for when you’re having a quiet night in! I didn’t get to bed until 11pm but CLEAN SHEETS…. Yay!!

Up this morning, made coffee and porridge and off out with the puppers. It’s much cooler today.

So many thistle like flowers are appearing now.

I threw a ball for them until they were knackered!

I came home, had my shower and got bags of clothes ready to take to the charity shop down in Irvine.

Now here’s a huge anxiety of mine….. Wait for it as it’s right out there with the crazy anxieties… I hate taking things to charity in case they don’t want it… yeah you heard that right. I assume they are gonna be annoyed with the amount that I take in and think that I shouldn’t take so much.

Loopy. 🫣

What if I can’t get parked close to the shop? What if it’s really busy on Saturday? What if I can’t park the van in the narrow space? What if I hit something? Should I take the stuff in first or check they are taking donations first? What if they are annoyed at me??? (Oh my god why on earth…. But it’s my fear…)

So. Guess what? I got parked pretty close, it wasn’t busy, they take donations, they were really lovely (as any other person would expect them to be) and I am 9 bags of clothes lighter.

Done.

Easy as that.

I’ve been meaning to do this for maybe about 6 months and every week does I say next weekend and then stress that I didn’t do it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Surprisingly pretty damn proud of myself for finally facing it. 🥳🤣

I then went to meet my Auntie Marion and Gordon for lunch! They’d been over this way twice in the last few weeks… the first week I suspected I may have covid so cancelled. The second week I actually did have covid and I messaged and said shame they weren’t over this weekend as I was free…. And they came all the way over specially!!

We went to Gro Coffee in Irvine . If you haven’t been before click the link and check out their menu. I just love it there!

I had the breakfast taco 🌮

It was amazing. The flavours bursting with every bite.

We did not… repeat… not have any cakes. Check us!!

We went for a wander along the harbour after lunch, it was quite warm.

Now this is a large dandelion…. So random but looking lovely.

A guy behind us stopped to take a photo too! The most, if not only, photographed dandelion in Irvine.

The tide was right in which was lovely.

We sat right here for a wee while admiring the view.

The beach was pretty busy. When the tides right in it seems so small but there were loads of folk down there today and in the sea.

I came back up the road and sat and read for a bit and now I’m watched another Netflix movie… The Best of Me.

I’m so tired after all that sea air. Will be an early night tonight and Craig’s home tomorrow.

He’s having a great time.

He better not mess the house up with his camping gear when he comes home.

Just saying 🤭🤣😘

Have a lovely Saturday night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 832 got an empty!!!!! 🙈🙊🤣🤣

An empty in Scotland is an excuse for a party… it usually means your parents are away when you’re a teenager so you can get all your mates round for a sesh…..

She who doth not drink and craves solitude sees this as the opposite… a chance to squirrel away, sit in silence, preferably in the sunshine obviously, with the two puppers I have left. Bhruic and Freya.

And relax…

Craig is away to and Overland Bound weekend and it was either we all go and try to manage 3 dogs around everyone else or I stay home and he takes Calaidh. So Calaidh is away on her holidays.

I went back to the Fit Body Farm this morning. There were only 5 of us today and it was raining but the rain was really refreshing. After Tough Mudder any rain is nothing. 🤣

I can straight home and took Calaidh out for a walk so Craig could finish packing. I have her a good run so she’s tired out for the drive. It was really murky and misty.

Coo!

You can see the cloud hanging over the Garnock Valley.

There are raindrops hanging from all the roadside weeds.

Thought this grass looked really atmospheric

Calaidh thought it was tasty!

As usual I took loads of photos….

This wee guy sat still while we walked past. No fear of Calaidh.

This next wee cutie was terrified of Calaidh and she was determined to find it!!!

Back home and saw Craig and a wet and soggy Calaidh off.

I then did the housework and got the house just as I want it for the weekend and then took Bhruic and Freya out. No pics as I met my neighbours so ended up chatting. By this time the sun is thinking about coming out.

I’ve done 4 loads of washing. It’s 3pm and the sheets are already back on the bed. This is the best drying day ever. Sunny and windy… I hate the wind but I’m allowing it for today. I’m using a new fabric softener so the washing smells lovely.

I must talk about the weather as the UK is experiencing an unprecedented heat wave and the following shows the temperature expected next week.

My lovely mum and dad are in a caravan right about where the 40 is….. 🔥🔥🔥

We are expected to hit 26°C on Tuesday which is pretty unheard of for us. I will be spending that mostly in a metal portacabin down in Dundonald…… 🔥🔥🔥

I would just like to point out that I just found out how to do the ° symbol today… my life is complete 🤣🤣🤣

Our summer has been pretty dreadful so it’s nice to see some heat coming. I just hope that Mum and Dad stay as cool as they can and that everyone is safe.

There is no denying global warming despite what some politicians try to tell us.

Sorry have to go…. Another washing playing a tune demanding attention!

I’ve had Claire into the garden for a cuppa and I managed to negotiate a lovely dinner in her house since I’m on my own. To be fair, I didn’t do any negotiating…. I just had to say yes!

Thanks to my lovely friend Anne for this next one. I’m gonna do this all weekend.

Stay safe everyone 🐝🐝🐝

Day 831 a lot less thinking today you’ll be glad to hear 🙈🙊🤣

Didn’t sleep well last night so yawned for half the morning today. Soooooo sleepy!

I got into a task at work that I really enjoyed so felt I really achieved something today which was good.

We ended up at Decathlon after work today as Craig needed a new camp bed as he’s going away for the weekend and leaving me…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 how many times have I gone away and left him?!? It was a nice wee random trip out on a Thursday. Why is it Decathlon is the kind of place that you feel you can’t live without every single thing that they sell (apart from the football and horsey stuff!) I am proud to say I bought nothing.

We were up close to Braehead Shopping Centre in Glasgow so we popped to Ernest Jones the jeweller to speak to them about my engagement ring diamond which has slipped from its setting for a third time.

Now I’ve obviously had my engagement ring for a good old while now….. the stone was sat at an angle for years and years and years before I did anything about it. I paid £175 in 2019 and £188 in 2021, to have it reset and it’s gone again.

It’s the hardest thing in the world to walk away from your engagement ring and leave it with someone else….. but I did. Again 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

Anyway…. I’ve been a lot less emotional today. I feel like I at the next stage of my healing journey where I have to stop playing the victim and take some responsibility for why I am where I am right now.

It is all in my head.

I manifest my anxiety. I create the whirlwind, tornado of emotion all by myself.

I have a lovely friend on FB who I have never met…. Cheryl-Lynn…. She lives in the States and was a huge part of my early sober journey and we “met” in the After Dry January FB group that I’m admin for. She’s on a very similar journey to me.

She posted some clangers today that hit me between the eyes…..

Wow….. it’s painful but it’s so true 💔
Now I do check myself at times
I think I’m pretty good with boundaries now
I still have a fair ways to go with this one

I create my anxiety.

I create my own stress.

I’m laughing here as some of you are probably having a wee chuckle thinking no shit Sherlock… she’s finally sussed it. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

I can choose not to. 🤔😳🤨

I took a huge intake of breathe there as I’m still not sure how to actually do this….. but I need to work at it and stop being the victim.

I need to distract myself, I need to breathe when I feel it coming on.

I’ve known all of this a long time but I finally realise my responsibility to fix it. No one else is going to.

I feel a bit down about various things just now. All within my own ability to change.

Big sigh again but takes bull by the horns and says let’s ride this wave….. ?!?!?! That made me laugh, what a load of twaddle.

♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 830 a day of thought 🤔🤨🙇🏻‍♀️ of you could say overthinking 😵‍💫😂

Yup you guessed it, a day of thought kind of means it wasn’t all rosy in the garden and full of joy… 🙈

I was late in bed last night (for me!) and I dreamt I was off to auditions that I hadn’t prepped for and everyone else seemed to have rehearsed and knew what was happening. I was wandering around in fear that I didn’t know what they did and how would I cope. Their fancy dress was almost way better than mine…… 😳

So where on earth did they come from?!?! Maaaaaaaaybe kinesiology?

I usually feel very calm and relaxed afterwards but this session has shunted me into a period of self reflection. No one ever said healing was pleasant. It’s a hard bumpy ride…

One of the focus points last night was on two words…. Translucent and miserable.

Translucent slaps me in the face. I write a daily blog therefore my life is translucent. Everyone (if they chose to) can see how I feel on a daily basis…. Why do I do this?!?!

Well first of all I wanted to help others see that not everyone’s life is as it seems on social media but I’ve talked about that before….. what I have realised over last night and this morning is that I need to get this out there so that I can manage other people’s expectations of me…..

Now let’s think that through…. First of all… who are these others I talk of?!? Just everyone really…. Secondly, why would anyone have expectations of me?? Am I that important? No….Even if they did why am I so worried about what their expectations are??

I use the blog as as tool to manage my anxiety. If you know how sensitive and fragile I am then you will treat me with kid gloves and make my life easier. You won’t put obstacles in my way and I won’t be letting anyone down because you will all understand.

That is the actual reason that I started writing this blog. Wow.

I am trying to manage my daily interactions in life at the highest level possible.

When you have anxiety you imagine every single scenario that could happen, but most likely will never happen…. I’ve noticed at work recently I am struggling to make decisions as I can imagine everything that might go wrong with every decision I make. I’m second guessing myself all the time. I trust others’ judgement way more than my own.

Why do I have such a bad opinion of myself? Where did it come from and why do I need everyone to know exactly how i am feeling…. Yet equally try to hide from the world when I’m out there.

Now that’s gonna take a lot more work.

I am way happier with myself than I have ever been. I feel like I’m finally back to my true authentic self. I don’t hide anything any more.

Uh oh…… yup…. I can’t argue with that. I am choosing to see anxiety in everything I do.

That’s feels unfair as I feel physical symptoms at times but I do know that it’s created in my own head. Doomsday. “We worry about the day we never saw”. i have to learn to look for the alternative.

What is so wrong with me that I feel the need to apologise to everyone in advance. I’ve also been shovelling sweet junk food recently trying to cheer myself up for something that’s not sitting right with me.

Jeez I am hard work and it’s no wonder I get tired. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

When I walk the dogs I am constantly analysing the path in front of me for other people or dogs…. I have a radar. I do not relax.

EXACTLY the same in my day to day life. A radar out detecting potential threats that may knock me off course or upset me. I am trying to control every aspect of my life.

My head has been in a tailspin today. overthinking, analysing, worrying…. And it’s made me pretty sad. I’ve felt quite miserable at times…. There’s the link to Translucent and Miserable. 😳

I realise most of this might sound crazy but it all makes so much sense to me.

It’s no wonder I used to knock back the vino after a day in my head. I now have to sit with it, mull it over and journal of it to make some sense of it to allow me to heal from it. it’s not fun…. But without it I won’t change anything. If change was easy, everyone would do it.

I really need to learn not to put myself down quite so much…

Thanks for reading this far…. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m off to meet the Crochet Hookers with a T-shirt on that says

Love yourself

Love yourself

Love yourself

I will try….

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 829 a very busy day for 1st day back!

It’s 7.11pm and I’ve not sat down yet… this will have to be a quickie. 🙊

Of course I lay awake for hours waiting on work and I was fine! so much for taking it easy though…. 🙊🤣

Home for 4.30pm and into the village pub for 5pm celebrating 15 years of our lovely friends owning it!

Craig said yesterday that I keep talking about neighbours and of course our neighbours are actually very good friends now…. He has a very good point!

This photo shows our own private view of the pub from our garden.

It’s 7.15 now and I’ve just spent a few lovely hours in the beer garden catching up with everyone. It was really lovely and unexpected on a Tuesday night. I’ve no photos as I was too busy eating 🙈 poor Craig is working and missed it!

It’s a lovely evening. It’s still warm and it was nice to put something a bit smarter on than the jammies I’ve been living in the last few days.

It’s so lovely to feel better. ♥️

The roses look beautiful in the sunshine

Now I have online Kinesiology at 7.30 so I’m sitting outside writing like fury as I throw balls for el doggos! They need a good run around before I shut them in the house again.

Better dash, got 2 minutes till my zoom meeting starts.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️