Oh man… be prepared for a self centred whinge this morning. Actually I’m writing this more for me so that I can make sense of how I feel and stop beating myself up for it… 🙈😬

First of all I want to say a huge thank you to another village angel… Michelle… 😇 there was a chap at the door last night…. (That’s no a man… it’s a knock!)

My idea of heaven when you’re sick! I burst into tears and Craig had two bowls out faster than I could take them out the bag. I allowed him some Monster Munch. 😆

I’m just putting this out there but today would be so much better with £1M deposited in my bank account. (Sits back and waits for it to happen?!?) 🤷🏻‍♀️😆🤣

No seriously, so very kind, that meant so much to me. I’ve saved the Buttons for my treat today. Maoam already gone. 🙊

I think the cold is a bit better today. The fizzy nose still going strong and the sneezes, when they come, are quite spectacular. It’s the level of dizziness and exhaustion that are the worst and sore aching muscles.

Crazy to think that this time last week I was wallowing in Tough Mudder mud rather than self pity.

It’s a lovely day today and in my head I’ve already “wasted” a day of my weekend. Craig’s out all day working and there’s so many things I feel I “should” be doing.

It’s that word again…. “should”…. I don’t have to do any of it. I managed to put a washing in and then came back for a lie down. I exhausted but can’t sleep. I don’t have the energy to read or watch a movie and I keep scrolling through FB which is not helping me at all so I thought I’d ramble in my sloth like state. (Jeez even I cringed at that one!) The crochet hook feels too heavy…. Yeah get over yourself girl…

I’ve mentioned recently that I have long since stopped comparing myself to others. I don’t try to keep up with anyone any more and just do my own thing. Yet I feel like life is passing me by… so in reality I still am comparing myself (yeah ok Craig, you can pay yourself on the back as you keep telling me that 🤣)

I think the pandemic allowed me to recover while everyone else stayed home and did similar things. Now the world has opened back up, I see people doing things I don’t want to do and yet I still feel envious. (Fizzy nose sneeze!)

I want to be out and about and seeing the world and it seems everyone else in the whole wide world is. ❌ no they’re not… it’s just FB shows you that.

Everywhere else has blue skies and scorching sunshine ❌ again just what you’re seeing on FB.

Everyone seems to have loads of money to enjoy themselves. ❌ nope.. everyone is feeling the pinch just now.… just not posting it on FB…. o

OH MY GOD STOP LOOKING AT BLOODY FACEBOOK!!!!

Hits nail on the head one more time.

There’s a real sense of calmness comes over me when I get to the bottom of why I feel bad. I’ve been sitting here in tears this morning feeling sorry for myself… ooh there she goes again. 🥹

How would you talk to anyone else? Anyone catches covid and you tell them to rest, relax, listen to your body (NOT YOUR MIND!)

So I’ve spent the day snoozing and reading. At 2.30pm I decided I would try a bath and actually that’s helped a good bit once I got over the “one minute it’s scalding hot, next minute it’s freezing” bath fill. 🙈

I got it right in the end but the water was almost up to the top. It was actually the perfect bath although a crane would have helped to get me back out.

I’ve got fresh jammies on and I’ve put a seat outside in the fresh air to clear the cobwebs.

I’ve just been to the door for a delivery and found another secret stash!!!

Didn’t hear anyone and not 100% certain who it’s from….. exactly what I needed as I just finished that book. I am so very lucky to have such caring neighbours. I must pay all of this forward.

I was about to write, day 2 down…. but it is only 3.30pm… 🙈😁 gonna make a coffee and read a mag and marvel at some blue sky for a change.

When I can get out of my own head there is so much to be grateful for even when you’re not well.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️