Day 65 do not leave me in charge of the handbrake while volunteering ❌🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😬😳

Kinda sick of typing about sad feelings but woke up feeling like sh*t this morning. Thumping head, clenched jaw, erratic, shallow breathing. Like a good girl I thought I’ll try Headspace mediation to try and calm myself down… but I couldn’t focus on it at all! At that precise moment, my lovely friend from Canada messaged to ask how I was doing…. poor soul got it between the eyes!! Now thankfully she knows all the right things to say and do and got my to breathe I’m for 3 and out for 4…. I could only get on for 2 and out for 3 and while I was telling her I typed out for 33!!!! We both agreed that I’d have croaked it before 33… 😆 so that made me smile. So of course I calmed down and got my breathing in check but I still seem to lack the ability to do that bit on my own. When I’m in taz mode as I call it (Tasmanian Devil) I can’t think straight enough to get out of it….

So I got up, had a coffee and sat in the garden.

Had a quick over the fence up the ladder cuppa with Claire who’s on holiday and got ready to go Volunteering with the Beith Trust. I drive along to Geilsland which is literally 2 mins from the house. My head is all over the place and I have to concentrate to drive… I get there, park and jump out and it’s only when a young guy is helping me load the car that we both realise the car is moving…. we are pushing it by stretching into the boot…. yip for the second time on deliveries, I haven’t applied the handbrake?!?!? How is that even possible?!? It’s ok though only 5 folk saw me…….. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So I’m just getting back to this and it’s 9pm. The latest blog writing yet!! Food bank deliveries went well and I had a lovely chat with one lady who looks really sad in the last few weeks. She’s just not able to get out anywhere so I mentioned this back at base and they’ll arrange calls for her. She also asked if I could get hold of a local book written by Bob Marshall who lived in Gateside and died recently so I will do that and drop it off.

Did a quick food shop in the Co-op which is now clearly marked for socially distanced movement round the shop until the last few aisles…. I’m genuinely not sure what to do here, my brain blows 😂🤯 but I get through it and back to the car in one piece!

I finally dropped off the crochet hearts for Evelyn for Co- op funeral care. (of course I forgot them and had to go back home to get them!) I drove past her house earlier when I remembered…

I also picked up a prescription for my neighbour who got me a lovely selection of alcohol free beers! She thanked me for the blog and said she was really enjoying reading it and I burst into tears…. 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

So… emotional day today but very busy and as I’m writing this now I’m feeling a bit brighter. Our neighbour Holly and the girls came in to the garden for a bit and then made me a bite to eat. We had a good chance to chat and it was good to take my mind off everything. Craig went to visit Jim and Fiona and sat in the garden with them. I miss them but I’d had been a bit too much today so better to stay home. Next time you guys!

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜