Day 64 does anyone have my mojo?? 🤷🏻‍♀️😤😒

Got woken by a very squeaky bin lorry this morning… it’s early…. but it’s fine as it goes through the village one way and then comes back down our side after it’s done all the farms etc….. USUALLY…. but no not today. 🤦🏻‍♀️ by the time I walk down the length of the back garden, get the bin out of the newly designated bin area and of course the grey one is third one in… get it out the garden and down round the side of the pub and you guessed it, I missed the bin men. Bloody typical…

Not sure I can even explain how I feel today, there’s an anger and frustration that is honestly totally unfounded. It’s a beautiful day, we’ve been out working in the garden, there’s nothing to stress about and yet my head is mince. A jumbled up mess of noise. So jumbled I can’t even really make head nor tail of the noise. I can’t think straight about anything and don’t ask me to make the simplest of decisions.

I don’t have to pretend but sometimes it feels easier than trying to explain the unexplainable… “just because..” isn’t the best answer.
This makes me laugh as it totally sums me up at times. Today I’m more fuzzy headed than anxious but it says it all!

So despite my mood I’ve had coffee and the second coat on the front door by 10.30am (it’s still tacky at 4pm!!) Craig says it’s not tacky, it’s really nice… sigh…. I know a few other folk who’d a come out with that one too! 🙄😬 and now it’s time to walk the darlings!

Ooh forgot to say I did work my magic on a passing bin lorry at the back of 10… I saw them coming and I pretty much danced around my bin highlighting it and showing how lovely it was, looks at this beautiful bin… please empty it?!? The guy drove up smiling and said “I’m no emptying that…” he was always going to and I knew that so we had a laugh. I mean honestly, how can you forget a bin in lockdown when there’s nothing else to do 🤦🏻‍♀️😆🤷🏻‍♀️

Calaidh’s trying to social distance from the others! Don’t blame her… I wasn’t feeling it today… let them drag me one foot in front of the other. At least we went out, I could have sat and done nothing.
Desperate to go and run in the fields but I tend not to go in one of the gate is closed. There could be something I’ve missed and I couldn’t have them chasing sheep or trying to bark at the cows.
Pups knackered after their walk!
Little miss poser in the shade

By the time I got home Craig was back on with the decking! He’d had to order some additional wood and we’ve cleared an area for some stone chips and that will finish the whole garden…. 4 and a half years after we moved in (how much more of lockdown is there?!?! God knows what we’ll do next 🤷🏻‍♀️😆🤣 maybe actually relax??!

One proud man! Main bit of deck done!
Then Bhru finds a hiding place under the new deck before the sides go on! Took her a while to get turned round to face out once she went in!
This is the area to be stoned, stones ordered and arrive Thursday
Calaidh found a wee sheltered spot on the new deck

So yeah, It’s like I’m asleep inside my head but angry with myself at the same time. I’m so overweight that I need to exercise and count my calories but I don’t want to cook anything. I just wanted to eat junk because it’s easy then I get disgusted with myself for not being more careful. Wee Rachel next door went to the cash and carry with her mum today and got sweeties which she split up into cups and took them round the village to cheer everyone up. I inhaled them!! I must be the only person in the world who gave up drink and put on 3 stone. I need to stop beating myself up for feeling like this.

I guess I have struggled with this today
Sure does, might just get that out now!
So true

Sorry it’s not a more positive one today. I’m ok, if you bumped into me it would be all laughter and giggles. That’s what I do best. Tomorrow is a new day. 🌈

Stay safe everyone