Day 966 a bit of an antsy day that ended with wild sea swimming!

I had the best sleep last night. Out for the count, so cosy and I did not want to open my eyes this morning, let alone get up!

I’m writing this in bed now and I finally feel this is where I’m meant to be 😂 it’s only 7pm!

They say the second day back is the hardest. I feel really tired, wiped out and a bit irritated that I have to do anything. I just wanted to stay in bed all day.

I tried to be super healthy with food today and yet I want to gorge on anything “bad” I can get my hands on. Yet none of it actually satisfies the hunger inside of me.

Work was actually good and I was busy but I overthought a lot and didn’t do things as comfortably as I did yesterday.

One thing that I did do and loved today was wild sea swimming for the first time…. Well not the first time ever but I spent about 20 minutes in the Firth of Clyde tonight and it’s 29th November!

I went with Ellison from work as her sister, Eileen, has been wild sea swimming for a good few years now and knows everything about the tides and wind direction etc. It seemed safe to go on her recommendation. I got a wetsuit for my 50th from Craigie as Ellison and I had talked about it a good few months back.

So finally tonight was the night. We left work very sharp, after I got changed into the wetsuit in Abbie the Campervan. That was a workout in itself. 😆

I was so excited.

Eileen lent me a spare pair of wetsuit gloves which really helped but NOTHING prepared me for the cold on my feet. I had to walk back out of the sea as quickly as I walked in.

By 4.30pm it was pretty dark and they reckon the water was around 9°C…. No concept as to how cold that would feel.

Waves of pain up my legs, pardon the pun.

I didn’t have wetsuit socks which the others did so I know that would have helped.

I just had to paddle about on the shore for a bit to acclimatise…. It was only a few minutes before my feet were numb enough and I could head in!

I had a waterproof pouch for my phone that Ellison gave me ages ago, but I have to say my photos are rubbish…. There was way too much going on to get a good photo 😂😂

I slowly walked out to the girls feeling the cold seep through various parts of the wetsuit 😂 but honestly nothing matched the cold of my feet. My body and hands were plenty warm enough.

Ellison and Eileen!
Ellison having a float!
Me finally having a float!

It was honestly amazing!

I have to order some wetsuit socks as there is nothing fun about that level of cold on my bare ankles….. but it felt amazing and a really fun thing to do.

I got dried as fast as I could and Ellison had given me a flask which I had a decaf coffee in. It helped to have a warm drink. My toes were numb most of the drive home. Abbie was up to 26°C by the time I got home and my feet were still cold.

I jumped straight in the shower and washed all my wet stuff. There’s a whole lotta sand in my bath now. No idea I was carrying that!

So as I said, I’m in bed with the electric blanket on and I’m super cosy. Ready for sleep.

A really fun end to the day! Thanks so much to the girls for inviting me and for lending me so many things!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 965 back to the Fit Body Farm and Tartan HQ

Back to reality with a bang today. Wide awake at 4.30am.

I made the mistake of looking at my phone before I got up, and read a post where a guy was complaining about a company that had fitted his pop top roof in his van. It may have been a dreadful experience but he dragged that company through the mud. I got really anxious reading it and that set the tone for the early morning. I fumbled my way through getting ready for the Farm.

I set off in my amazing non- wobbly van and realised that I could hear road noise and that it was the drivers door that was open. I tried to shut it as I drove…. Actually managed it.

Then a few miles down the road, a GIANT rat ran across the road in front of me. It was enormous!!! Craig even saw it in the car behind me. Mahoosive! Thankfully I slammed on the brakes and didn’t hit it.

Then…. Our road to the farm was closed. We had to turn around and follow a diversion.

The new road takes us over a single track narrow bridge and at 5.55am I met another car right there. Of course I did. 😳

By the time I got the farm I was all over the place. Frazzled, nervous, off.

However, the Farm was great. Hard work but a great work out it. I felt really good during and after it.

It was a lovely morning and the start of another lovely day. Calm and sunny. Cold in the shade but nice in the sun… in November. Crazy.

Tartan went well and it was good to get back into a routine. The day flew by and it was 4pm before I knew it! There were quite a few customers in today which always makes the day go quickly.

I’ve actually had a really good day. There’s been anxiety, some excitement but generally calm and in control. It feels good.

Had the best drive home in months… no wobble just a straight drive home. Bliss.

Big chat with mum on the phone for 50 minutes. We talked the hind legs off a donkey…. 😂 such a crazy saying.

Every time I go to write the blog in the living room, I get covered in puppers looking for affection. Craig took some photos!

Awwww bless.

Waiting on a Morrisons food delivery before I make dinner. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking it.

Hope you all had a good start to the week too.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 964 a beautiful day and lovely end to a weeks’ + holiday and lovely spa break!

It’s a beautiful morning! I can’t wait to get out and take some photos of Houstoun House Hotel near Livingston in Scotland.

I’m here because lovely Claire, next door, has treated me to an overnight spa break for my 50th birthday. What a lovely idea and very generous gift!!

Unbeknown to Claire, Craig and I actually got married here in 2010!! She had no idea as we only met since she moved in next door and it’s obviously never come up in conversation. She wanted to go somewhere that was a decent drive away so it felt like a mini holiday… and that it was!

All I knew was we were away overnight and I needed to take a swimming costume. The various places I thought it might have been were in a completely different direction from the way she was driving.

I stared to smile to myself as we headed along the M8 and realised how far we had to go on the sat nav. It’s such a lovely hotel!

We’ve had the best time and it’s been so lovely for me to reminisce, as I’ve not been back here since Mum and Dad’s 40th Ruby Anniversary in 2012. We are also very lucky to see it on such a lovely November day.

Here is a wedding photo of Craig and I standing on the steps at the end of that last photo.

And more importantly…. With family, Gran in purple and Nana in red who are no longer with us. Very special memories. 💜♥️

(And yes that really is Craig!!)

Also, how is this hydrangea just starting to flower?!? In November?!

Also took this mushroom 🍄 standing tall on the grass.

I was working in the little gift shop yesterday, until 1pm, and had quite a busy morning. I was all packed to go as we were leaving by 1.30pm.

Car selfie

We arrived around 2.45 and unpacked and headed to the Spa.

We swam in the pool and sat in the sauna for a while before our treatments at 4pm. We had a back, neck and shoulder massage followed by an Elemis facial.

It was soooo good and how lucky am I have to have two lovely massage and facial packages in one week?!? I am literally so chilled I’m horizontal!

It was dark by the time we came out and made this dash back into the hotel in our goonies and spa sliders.

We headed straight to the room and got into fleecy jammies that Claire had bought specially for the occasion. I had some Rosé Nozeco as we got ready.

Dinner was booked for 7.30pm in the restaurant.

The meal was lovely and we had a few giggles.

Back to the room after dinner for more Nozeco and bed. I’ve been popping Lemsip all the time and managed another great nights sleep only waking for the loo at 5.22am! Managed to get to the toilet and back creaking every floorboard but not waking Claire… #ninja 😂

The bed was so white and dog hair free. 😆 I had the best sleep and we had a good long lie. Breakfast was at 9.30am and yes, I forgot to order decaf coffee 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

A really chilled out and relaxing break which is exactly what I needed. I can’t thank Claire enough for such a lovely time. 💜💜

We got back home just before 1pm and I did 2 dog walks back to back. It’s still lovely and sunny.

So as I said, the perfect end to the best week.

I’m not sure I can ever repay the kindness and generosity of my family and friends over the course of my 50th birthday celebrations. I’ve been so spoiled and I’m so very grateful to everyone for making it such a special time for me.

Oh and I don’t think I shared a pic of the Crocs I got from Craig which make me smile every time I wear them 😂♥️😂

Classy burd 😂😂

So back to the Farm and Tartan land tomorrow to see what I’ve missed. A good few nights into the progesterone and still feeling ok. Long may that continue.

It’s 4.15pm and actually pretty dark outside. The nights are fair drawin’ in 😂

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

Day 962 I dot the told but had a good day at the little gift shop 🎁🎄

Remember that lovely Caramel Waffle Latte yesterday?! I mean it was soooo good.

Caffeine free?

What do you reckon? You know me well enough by now. I forgot to ask for decaf.

Time for pipe band style drumming of the heart… 3.15am.

Wide. Awake.

I took cold and flu tablets before bed which were working just fine until I woke up. I got up to blow my nose and put Vicks Vaporub on my top lip. Great idea until it burns 🥵

I had already decided not to go to the Farm using the cold as an excuse. I know it’s just an excuse as we are perfectly capable of working out with a head cold, just not a chest cold. I didn’t go to sleep until after 11pm which is a real luxury for me. So by 3.15am I’d only had about 4 hours sleep.

I did fall back asleep finally until 7.15.am.

I get so caught up in not wanting real milk that I totally forget the decaf thing, every time. Unless someone is there like Mum or Claire screaming “DECAF” over my shoulder. 😆

Gayle bought me my own little jar of decaf coffee for the shop too so I’ve no excuse there. 🥳

I have vouchers to spend in the little gift shop today. To say I’m excited is an understatement. I will actually get to buy some of the things I’ve been eying up all these weeks.

The shop is looking super festive now that Gayle has done the Christmas windows…. And I have to say, this is not the best photo!

I love the bow and the door and Gayle did this all by herself!

Isn’t that just beautiful?

I watched her make a couple of bows for a lady today and it was fascinating. Isn’t it funny how we all have different skills?!? Gayle was wheeching those bows together so easily while I watched on with awe and wonder. I kept going on about talented she was and she kept putting it down to being so easy.

She’s a whizz! I of course took photos at every step 😂

So we had a good day but I was definitely flagging with the cold. It’s just a sniffly head cold but I feel quite wabbit with it. Gayle sent me to get some cold and flu stuff to help perk me up. It worked for a bit, I just have to keep taking it.

When I came home I popped into the pub as Craig was meeting a friend so I had a couple of Coke Zeros before heading home to get into my jammies and a super cosy hoodie! (Yeah I’m reading that back screaming CAFFEINE at myself….. 😆)

Do you remember I talked about the power outage the other night? How I took a call when they phoned to apologise and I said we weren’t affected by it and I reckoned I might have missed out on some apology payment?!? (Such a long sentence!)

We all got a £10 Amazon voucher and a box of chocolates delivered today!! I’ve never heard of that before.

So one last amazing bow!

She made that in under two minutes. 😳

So that’s all from me. Cosy, early night for me tonight as Claire and I are heading off on an 50th birthday surprise trip after work tomorrow! This birthday just keeps on giving. Exciting times!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 961 another lovely holiday… shopping this time 🛍️🛍️

I went back on progesterone last night for the next two weeks. Craig told the pups to watch out when I told him…. There may be tears in the next few weeks. It’s only 1.35pm and I can feel it already. I’m more emotional and the tears aren’t far away.

I’ve got the start of a cold since I finished my massage yesterday. My nose is constantly running!

I was meant to be meeting mum for shopping today, but she works at a local day centre for the elderly on a Thursday and has to miss next week for a funeral, so didn’t want to miss two weeks in a row.

I hummed and hawed but decided to come shopping myself. I had M&S vouchers for my birthday.

I medicated up with cold and flu tablets and headed to Braehead Shopping Centre outside Glasgow and had the best wee day.

I’m flagging now and sitting in Starbucks with a Christmas red cup full of Caramel Waffle Latte. It’s lovely!

So I’ve had another wee fashion show to myself. I’m not spending my birthday money yet as I need to keep that for Abbie the Campervan and her demanding wobble, but I have managed to buy quite a lot on the cheap.

I started in M&S of course. I got these lovely checked joggies with my birthday voucher.

I also tried on these….

Not sure what I’m doing with the leg again?!?
Bit dull tho liked the black leggings
I really like this WEEKEND sweatshirt but it’s £29.50 so I left it… for now.

I also saw boots in M&S…. Standing joke in our family that I always got ankle boots for my birthday when I was wee…. It is the season to be fair. They were £45 with 20% off but I left them as I figured I didn’t need them that much. They were in the back of my mind though.

I then headed straight to Pandora as I wanted to get something with Mum and Dad’s money to know that it was from them for my 50th.

I looked at charms but none of them felt right… the girl asked me what my style was.

I told her I didn’t have any style and waved a hand down over what I was wearing as if to say “see?!?”

What a self deprecating thing to say. I wouldn’t be that cruel to my worst enemy. I put myself down every dance I get.

Anyway….. I decided to go for a bracelet instead. I can never have too many and this one mixes silver with rose gold so it’s different to everything else I have. It was also 30% off!!

I was in there for quite a while and by the time I left, there was a huge queue!

Onwards to New Look for a huge trying on spree. They have an “up to 50% off sale”.

Now I’m not a fan of a really big necklace but I loved this. Half price.
Quite liked this too but didn’t get it
This pinafore was a tenner! I love me a pinny….. although it looked dreadful without something under it so got this stripey top in Primark for £4 in their sale

From New Look into Deichmann and found the same boots as in M&S but with 50% off. I got the boots for £20! That’s only a tenner per boot…. Then off into Primark.

Didn’t go for either of these two tops though the idea was there, just didn’t think they worked.

Tried this sweatshirt on next as it was to go with the checked joggies….

Model’s own body warmer 😂😂😂

Show yourself more love….. that rings so true after how I’d reacted in Pandora. This T-shirt was £3.

Now hear me out here….. I took in a leather look jacket.

I love it. It’s a whole £14.

I’ve managed to pick up 2 or 3 different outfits today for under £100.

Now that I write all of this there is a part of me thinking about the labour that goes into making these throwaway clothes…. And I feel a tinge of guilt., but I can’t afford anything else so have to make do with as cheap as I can.

Didn’t get this hoodie but it was cute.

Now I should interrupt myself here and say that Gayle (of the little gift shop fame) has introduced me to an Instagram account called Fabfatand40plus (click link to see her) and I’m really inspired by the clothes she wears and the outfits she puts together. Gayle has also introduced me to different ideas and I have been in my element today putting all these outfits together.

This next photo here shows the boots too.

Chunky…. The boots that is 😂

The garage just phoned…..

Abbie is ready to collect and has stopped wobbling. 🥳

For a mere £740. 😱

Not gonna lie… I cried (Could just be the progesterone 😂)

She needed the o/s and n/ drive shaft and stub shaft.

On the plus side she is no longer wobbling, yay!!

And yes…. Kind of wish I hadn’t spent what I did today but hey…. Least I’ll look a bit smarter when I’m driving my non-wobbly van. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂 clutching at straws here!

I’ve had a lovely holiday. Very chilled and relaxed. Ready for the little gift shop tomorrow!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 960 dog walks in the rain and a birthday massage (stop it….) 💆🏻‍♀️

I had another long lie this morning but missed the Farm. I say long lie but I’m still awake after 7am.

I’m writing this sitting on the couch with the fire burning, watching a cheesy romcom 😂 IN THE MORNING!!!

I mean who does that?!?!

Me, it would seem.

This is the second week of holiday this year that I’ve been stuck in the house without wheels…. Abbie the Campervan is STILL in the garage. They didn’t even call me yesterday.

The last week I had off was in August and I was raging the whole week. I felt like a caged lion…. I wanted to be anywhere but home.

This week I am completely embracing the days at home. I am so grateful for everything that I have.

I went for 2 dog walks in the pouring rain and wind this morning. I enjoyed it. I wasn’t raging that I “had to” do it. it just needed doing.

I forgot the phone on the first walk…. But check Bhru’s wee face… I’m a drowned rat by the second walk.

Had to take my glasses off so I could actually see. A huge downside wearing glasses when it rains.

I came home and had a shower and am sitting watching the cheesiest movie ever. I’m inspired by my friend Tracey in Canada watching Christmas movies yesterday while she’s sick with covid. Get well soon T.

For a long time now I have never been festive. A long time. I think it started when we didn’t have kids and Christmas seemed so magical for folk with kids. I guess I was jealous. I was always a bit resentful that Christmas didn’t hold that same magic for adults. Read this….

It’s only me that has chosen to ignore the magic and pretend it’s not for me anymore.

Working in the little gift shop has helped me get into the spirit of things this year. I also had insider information that the Christmas trees were arriving at the Gateside Plant Centre this morning so I kept “Christmas Claire” up to speed like a nosey neighbour.

I’m planning to be way more festive this year and will start wearing Christmas jumpers in December I reckon. I also have an M&S Advent Calendar with lots of lovely goodies in it. Can’t wait to see what I get. Another birthday gift that will keep on giving. Day 1 is a bigger box than most. Exciting!

I have a long massage booked for 2pm today at Harmony in Beith.

I cannot wait!!

How lovely is this wee room…

I’ve had the best massage. Sooooo good. Can highly recommend.

I was a very lucky girl (see what I did there?!? I still think I’m 18…) and I got lots of Harmony vouchers for my birthday. I usually only have the wee half hour back, neck and shoulders massage but today was the full bhuna! Back, neck and shoulders, legs and facial. Bliss.

I am so chilled out and relaxed I could just sleep. I’m back in front of the fire and have to say awake for the Crochet Hookers at 6.30pm. 😆😂

Oh that reminds me… yesterday we had a power outage planned. Electricity was to go off between 9-10 and 3-5.

It switched off just after 9am but only for about 10 minutes at most.

We were ready for it at 3pm yesterday, having had a very late lunch/early dinner about 2.30pm and I had my book in the sunroom with my wee book torch….. I continued to read and finished my book about 5.30pm and the power hadn’t gone off. It did however, at about 6.15pm…. Just when I had run out of book!!

We were all set up with candles.

The village hall was booked for 6.45pm, for the exercise class, which couldn’t go ahead. Claire took this photo of us outside our houses about 6.30pm, with our phone torches, as we discussed what to do. It a fab photo. I’m in the middle.

It totally sums up the power cut with the candles in our living room.

Scottish Power Network called today to apologise. I told them it was absolutely fine by us, although the Hall wasn’t happy 😆 think the guy got pelters from lots of other people he spoke to so it was nice for me to say it was no bother. Check this laissez faire attitude from me these days…. Bet I just missed out on an apology payment… 🤷🏻‍♀️

Speaking of money… Abbie the Campervan is still not ready but they have actually found the cause now. It’s where the drive shafts link into the gearbox which makes sense…. But wait for it… caused by her lift and big wheels which everyone advised me to buy but have been the cause of every breakdown since they were fitted….. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Grits teeth, smiles politely and keeps hold of birthday money to pay for the work. Honestly I am not moaning about this. I just want her back and want her to drive without the wobble. I will also save up for the old springs to be replaced and have her brought back down to size so we can stop blaming that once and for all!

So that’s all from me today. Chilled and relaxed.

Just about to post when my lovely friend Carol-Ann came to the door with a beautiful gift!

It’s a lovely journal so I can write things down that don’t always make the cut for the blog. How lovely to have an unexpected catch up and good few hugs.

Right…. Feed dogs then crochet!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 959 a beautiful day for housework, reading a whole book and bowel cancer test on 22/11/22 😬

It’s a beautiful day that I don’t think really was forecast.

I’ve been pottering round in my jammies all morning so far. I’ve done the housework, hoovered, scrubbed walls (that I wanted to wash before all my family came to stay!) and found a place for all of my lovely birthday gifts. It’s been running going back through everything again. I love this mug from the Crochet Hookers….

I’m also reading a birthday book from the Crochet Hookers called the Girls who Disappeared. I can’t put it down.

I did my bowel cancer test this morning so that’s all packaged up ready to send back. I had to write the date on the outside of it. I quite liked the fact that it’s 22/11/22.

It’s 12.45 and I’ve just wandered outside and sat down on the bench to enjoy the warmth of that sun.

It’s been nice to have a day with no real pressure to do anything. Of course it ss would have been equally lovely down by the sea and I wish I’d gone, but it wouldn’t be a holiday without me wishing I had done wzwsomething else now would it?!?

When we were kids, Dad always wanted a “plan of attack” whenever we had a holiday. He used to clap his hands and rub them together and ask what the plan of attack was. Maybe that’s where I get my desire to fill a holiday?

We took the dogs for a walk early afternoon and I posted my sample.

I’ve just realised that this post box dates back to King George as it says G-R at the top of it. Who knew??

We had a lovely walk and came home and I made beef stroganoff for a very late lunch. I also had a huge bit of birthday cake that’s still going strong. Not much left now.

I’ve sat and read in the sunroom for the rest of the afternoon. It got really cold so I put the stove on in the sunroom and proceeded to sit and roast quietly.

It’s been a lovely day filled with nothing much yet I have a clean house and that’s always a bonus.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 958 first real day of holidays

It nice to have a day off work. To have no plans.

We slept through the Fit Body Farm this morning. Think we’re both exhausted after such a busy weekend.

I didn’t have much voice this morning when I woke up after shouting over the noise at the party and singing at the top of my lungs and way to much talking…. But do not fear because it came back, Craigie hasn’t had the luxury of a silent day. 😬😆

We took Abbie the Campervan back to the garage at 9am and walked back home from Glengarnock.

It’s a lovely morning but bitter. Hat and gloves for this first time.

I have Freya, I’ve just hidden her 😂 it’s more a photo of Craigie’s ass 😂 and me wearing his hat. 😂

This next one would have been amazing except for the power lines.

Gloves were off by the time we got home but it was a cold walk.

I got vouchers for Gro Coffee in Irvine from my Auntie Marion. Strike while the iron is hot, we have spent them already!

We had a lovely wee lunch. Look how pretty the food was.

It was super tasty too! I also had my custom coconut milk latte and Craig had posh diet coke!

We did not have a cake. Check us. We still have a house full of cake and regardless of what you might think when you might want cake… you CAN actually have toooooo much cake 🎂 😂

Forgot to share a really cool card I got from Kate and Jamie who live in the village. I love it!

So I’ve actually handled all this turning 50 malarkey, quite well. Age is just a number but this doesn’t feel as easy as 40 did.

I have had the best time despite wishing we were in the Maldives for a fortnight. We’ve seen so many lovely people and I’ve made some very special memories of my 50th.

The HRT is going fine despite losing a patch and having to plaster one down. Craig is the key to a plaster sticking. Any I’ve applied end up falling off.

I’m off the progesterone just now as it’s 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off, but I have to go back on it on Wednesday night.

I’m a bit nervous as it made me feel so low a few weeks back, but I need to take it.

“If oestrogen is the feed you use to grow a lawn, progesterone is the lawn mower that keeps the grass in check”. So my eloquent Doctor put it.

I’ve spoken to so many people this weekend about menopause. There are 34+ symptoms that are now attributed to peri-menopause or menopause.

All of these can be helped by replacing the hormones that we lose at this time of life.

It’s no less natural than taking insulin when you are diabetic or even for humans to drive in a car. It doesn’t matter what age you are. There are benefits from taking HRT that will help on later life. If you’re not sure, read up on it. You might be surprised.

In a stark reminder of my new age bracket, I’ve just received my bowel cancer screening kit. Craig’s lucky I won’t get him to help with this. 😆😂

It’s not even 3pm and I have my feet up, I’m listening to my birthday playlist on Spotify as I write this. I never got much chance to listen on Saturday.

I may have a nap.

Yet the garage phone just as I settled down…. Abbie is still wobbling despite having the passenger side drive shaft fitted. They need her overnight. They’ll drive her up on the ramp tomorrow….. the saga continues.

We are just watching the last ever episode of The Walking Dead. The end of a blood thirsty, zombie era. Who’d have thunk the blog would ever say those words?!?

I actually cried…. Way more than I should have. I’m just tired 🥱 😂

Hope Monday was ok for you.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 957 the day after all the 50th celebrations and a 13th birthday party!

I went from glam to camping in one fell swoop.

I’m currently lying outside the house in Abbie the Campervan as both sets of parents are staying over after my 50th birthday celebrations yesterday.

I finally crawled out of the house at 1.08am and left the men to their whisky.

Craig calls me at 2am to say he’s just as happy with the couch…… awwww thank you for waking me up to tell me that darling….. to be fair, it suits me fine as Abbie can be a snore free zone 😂😂😂

Abbie is also 12.5°C inside. Of course my diesel heater chose not to work posting an error 08 code.

I’ve been on YouTube to try to fix it but none of it worked. I’m warm enough, fully dressed under our normal duvet and 2 blankets but the minute you move and expose any part of you to to the elements it’s freezing. My forehead is very cold… I should get up and get my hat. 😆

I didn’t really sleep at all. The silence is both wonderful and deafening. There is a ringing in my ears from the excitement of it all.

For someone who likes to sit by the side of the sea, away out on the rocks, away from everyone…. Yesterday brought a whole lot of socialisation…. Right out my comfort zone these days…. And yet, I had the best day.

I had my wobbles, there were a few tears, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin particularly because I was dolled up the nines which is just not me anymore.

Mums cousin Joyce gave me a beautiful hand made bracelet just before we headed into the village pub for a family afternoon tea…. She got a gibbering wreck of panic and a few tears.

The day started with a hair and makeup “appointment” with Claire next door. She very kindly helped get me ready with s minimum of fuss. I was all set to go home with pinned curls in my hair to unpin them and let the flowing curls cascade. Here starteth the stress 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I could not get the clips out for love nor money…. What seemed to be a perfectly simple operation, turned into a furious, swearing nightmare as they got stuck in my hair and I had to almost rip a few of them out. I panicked and made it worse. By the time I got them out, I couldn’t think straight enough to see the finished article. Craig was busy setting up so wasn’t there to help. Joyce appeared not long after and brought me back down to earth.

I just didn’t feel like me and yet…..it was me, just a part of me that had been buried years ago. Buried in messy buns, leggings and jumpers.

I teetered in to the pub on my ridiculously high heels. It’s been about 4 or 5 years since I wore them. Heels used to be my thing. They are not my friend now.

Quick interlude as it’s 7.49 now and I’ve been awake since 6.15… I can hear the dogs barking and I should head in to see who’s up. However, the wonderful silence of the Campervan is quite addictive. Despite my freezing fingers typing this, I’m reluctant to leave my newly found solitude…. 😆

I head in to the house at about 8.30am and Craig starts cooking the breakfast of champions. It soooo cosy in here.

So we had a family with a few friends for Afternoon Tea at 2pm with the rest of friends turning up at 5pm.

With Mum and Dad ♥️♥️
With Craigie

The afternoon tea was amazing. Check these cakes.

It was a good chance for me to relax into my new look, surrounded by family. It was great to catch up with everyone.

With Claire
With Ruth, Moyra and Lorna sooo great to catch up after so long! I’ve missed you!

We’d no sooner finished eating than the 5pm wave arrived. Lots of hugging and kissing and chatting.

The Tartan Campervan Company and the little gift shop were very well represented!

Tartan always try to hand make a birthday card…. They excelled themselves this year and made one like a table top with a big 50 on it. It’s in the back of this lovely photo of the Crochet Hookers.

I was completely overwhelmed by the amount of people who turned up…. And the gifts that people brought…… the generosity was very humbling.

With my wee cousin Rachel, she’s my god-daughter ♥️
Elly, Kate and Michelle from the village
With Rachel two doors down!

Not gonna lie there’s a few photos there that make me cringe soooo badly. I feel huge in them. There were old photos all over the pub and I honestly remember feeling huge as they were taken too. What a bad self image.

I had a lovely amazing red velvet birthday cake.

Everyone sang happy birthday and I tried to give a wee speech but didn’t get far without the tears creeping in. I was trying to talk about how much I appreciated their support. I’m not sure I got that point across?!

He’s awfy chuffed with himself!

Everyone was so very kind. So thoughtful.

Thank you to everyone who helped make it so very special and shared my day with me. ♥️

We ended up back in our house dancing (SOBER DANCING for me I might add….. 😳😆)

50th birthday party done and dusted!

So back to the generosity….. here are some of the flowers. Stunningly beautiful.

Look at all the gifts we brought back from the pub.

Here’s a very small selection of the lovely gifts I got.

I will not stop thanking everyone for a long time to come.

Thankfully we have a few days off now to recuperate. You’d think I’d realised I’d be shattered.

Christmas onesie on in front of the tv for the night. A far cry from last night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 955 normal service is resumed!

Well that interloper did well. I’ve had more likes and comments on his blog than any I have done 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😘

I may not hear the end of that. 😂

In all honesty, his words were amazing and it was so lovely to have a day off and listen to him stressing about “I have a blog to write” which sometimes seems to be my cracked record!!

I have had the loveliest of 50th birthdays.

I have been blown away by the kind words, posts, cards and gifts I have received. There have been floods of tears at times but then w you would expect nothing less. 😂

It all started on Wednesday night when the Crochet Hookers threw a surprise party for me in the pub! They had balloons and banners and a sloth cake!

They gave me a box of 50 gifts…. I honestly couldn’t believe it. I felt the bottom lip go early on. 😂

Here we all are. They are a very special bunch. I got a crocheted cushion, a crocheted sloth and so many other practical gifts including vitamin D and ibuprofen gel!!

They know me so well… I have already used so many of the gifts, that’s when you know it hit the mark. I don’t know I can ever thank them for such a special start to my big birthday.

I had the best day yesterday with Craig. His generosity knows no bounds, he’s so thoughtful and caring and he hasn’t actually annoyed me once in the last few days. That’s always a bonus. 😂

Mum and Dad sent some lovely messages and I definitely cried!

My brother sent a couple of pics too….

Awwwww bless….

Craig and I had a lovely lunch and I got a gingerbread latte with cream to finish. I forgot to ask for decaf 😂

He gave me a row for never looking at the camera. So I did….

Wee selfie on the way back to the car.

If you’d have told me I would have spent my 50th birthday not drinking, I would NEVER have believed you…. And yet I did…

We went to Holly’s next door for pre theatre drinks as we were heading to see the Beith Young Farmers Show. I got more lovely and generous gifts!

It was so lovely to see Holly’s daughter in the show. She was so vibrant, she was beaming and so focused on her every move. She did so well.

I was late in bed but woke up at 6.33pm having missed the Farm. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve been at the little gift shop today and got another lovely gift from the girls!

The shop had no heating today as there was a gas leak in the flat upstairs so I was prewarned. I wore my scarf and gloves a lot of the day. The heating came back on about 3.30 and it felt amazing.

Abbie the camper van has been back in the garage. She’s not fixed yet but I have her back until Monday. The on going saga!

I am shattered tonight. It’s 7.30pm already and so I won’t be late in bed tonight. I have my 50th party on the pub tomorrow. I am super apprehensive. I am worried there will be more tears.

On the other hand I am looking forward to seeing some people I haven’t see for a very long time.

Making special memories.

I might just need my big girl pants on. 😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 954 – Roses are Red, Violets are nifty, I’m 47 and you’ve just turned 50! – Craig here, hubby making a long overdue appearance on the Sloth diaries.

Hi all, I’ve been threatening to make an appearance on here for some time now and thought that on the day of her 50th birthday I’d ask Julie if she’s like me to give her a day off, or to be honest she asked me.

Nothing I can say today will live up to the 953 days Julie has been writing but I’ll do my best not to bore you.

First thing this morning she was giggling away, my first words to her we ‘Roses are Red, Violets are nifty, I’m 47 and you’ve just turned 50!) So glad she didn’t just slap me, lol.

So, plans for today, for her big FIVE O?  Up early ish to make a nice but simple breakfast, some nice coffee along with some toasted scones with raw honeycomb and raspberry conserve. Nothing too filling as we’re heading out for lunch later.

Present time! She always tells me not to go overboard so I’ve reigned it in a little this year, she’ll still be happy, I hope. Loads of things she wanted topped with a wee trip to Iceland next year, including a 7-step ritual spa at the geothermal Sky Lagoon near Reykjavik.  (Although there is a cracking chocolate factory that I’ve got my eyes on too).

I walked the dogs while she went to get her nails painted.

Next is out for lunch to Bueno Onda in Largs then back home for a 30-minute rest (we’re not getting any younger) before going to friends for a few drinks before Julie heads out tonight their daughters dance performance with the young farmers at Centrestage in Kilmarnock.  What will I do?  Well, I guess I’ll write this…

Sooo, this winging it writing malarkey is harder than it looks. Guess I’ll just tell you a bit about Me and Jules.

So, we met way back in July 2007, almost didn’t as she was flying on holiday a fortnight before from Glasgow Airport on the day of the Terrorist attack, thankfully she was no where near the incident.  For the next few years, we spent every chance we could together and married in 2010. After only the first few weeks together we knew the wedding was always going to happen. Aw, mooshy mooshy.

We’ve lived in Kilmarnock, East Kilbride (twice) and finally settled in our small village of Gateside in North Ayrshire back in 2015. We couldn’t be happier, its quiet, community led, supportive and we’ve made some really great friends. Had more than few great holidays and along came our three pups which I’m certain you’ve all had way too many pictures of of the years.

Here’s one of Jules doing our very own ‘Hot Wings’ challenge, never again!!!!!

Almost 13 years later we’ve been through some amazing times, but as with all great relationships there have been some storms, but absolutely nothing we couldn’t navigate our way through.

Here is one of our first photos together, loves young dream.

Followed by a more recent effort, she hasn’t changed a bit, wish I could say the same.

We like looking for songs that mean something to us, always looking for our next ‘our song’, not to worry, I won’t bore you with a list of lyrics but if you were at all interested, I’ve made a wee playlist of some of our favorites over the years on Spottily, here’s a link to the public playlist.

It would be remiss of me to not mention a little about the past few years and one of the reasons this blog exists.

Anyone who’s been reading ‘The Rambling Sloth’ over the past few years will have a good idea of what Julie’s been through, it’s been hard for her but the one thing that’s kept her going through it all is the support shown by her family and friends both near and far, old, and new.  For that, we will both be eternally grateful.

She battled against what sometimes seemed impossible challenges through mental health (which she has openly documented on this blog) but fought every doubt, every negative thought and every obstacle thrown at her. Even though it was easier to give in, she fought tooth and nail and she won, she won every time! And she continues to win every day!

She is a fighter and one of the strongest people I know, I have no idea if I could have defeated the darkness she found herself drowning in but she kept finding the light and reaching for it.

I couldn’t be prouder of her for all she has and all that she’s going to achieve.

Happy Birthday Julie, we’re going to have a great weekend.

Finally I had to share. We loved these T-shirts from a comedy morning radio show in the US we used to listen to daily. “Quitters never give up”, How very true…strange, but true.

(Hmmm, maybe I’ll blog again, this was fun)

Day 953 don’t mention the milk tanker 🐮🥛🚛

It’s 3.59 and I am wide awake….. thanks to the caffeine coffee I stupidly drank yesterday. My heart is providing a big drum beat.

😳

Last day at work today!

We get up at 5am for the Farm and it’s a great workout today. I am buzzing and it feels good.

It was a lovely sunrise.

Half way through the workout I worry that I might meet the milk tanker on the single track roads from the Farm to work. Stop thinking about the milk tanker. Don’t think about the milk tanker. Stop it. Milk tanker. Milk tanker. Milk tanker.

Oh. my. god. we

I did not meet the milk tanker. Relief.

As much as I’ve made this sound like a joke, I was genuinely stressing about what would happen if I met it and I wasn’t in a passing place. Jeez….. the anxiety was bubbling inside of me to the point of panic.

The anxiety carried on this morning as I worried about how much I still had to do. I always want to make sure everything runs smoothly for everyone left behind. I try to preempt every eventuality which I will, of course, never accurately pre-empt.

I wrote a list for everything I had to do and worked through it until it was done. I wrote a handover note and actually there wasn’t that much on it so I relaxed.

Also everyone needs a puppy Peanut in the office. ♥️

I was just finishing up in work when a customer came in looking for a quote. 😬 My plan to escape at 4 was delayed slightly.

So that’s me on holiday now woo hoo!!

It’s the big 5-0 tomorrow 😳 so we’re going to have a guest blogger….. Oor Craigie is going to take the Rambling Sloth helm for the day to allow me to relax and enjoy the day.

I have a nail appointment booked in the morning and then we’re heading to a lovely tapas restaurant in Largs, for lunch. I’m then going out to the Beith Young Farmers Talent Spot show with Holly next door. Her daughter Louise is in the show for the first time! It’s a random 50th birthday night but I have a party on Saturday so I’ll celebrate more then.

So yeah…. Not gonna lie. I’m not remotely ready to turn 50. I still feel like I’m 30. I’m quite overwhelmed by it. With the thought that time is moving on too fast.

Yet I am entering my 50’s a completely different person from the one who entered her 40’s.

No longer living to work, working all the hours god sends and getting through the stress with wine.

No longer putting everyone before myself. No longer assuming that I don’t matter.

I will celebrate my 50th completely sober.

I can’t even believe that.

I’m living life at a much slower pace.

I have to feel every negative emotion without drowning it.

I live in the present moment as much as I can.

I am stunned by all the beauty around us. I never really stopped to look before.

I want to write everything down to understand how I’m feeling. It’s really helped me and I love writing the blog.

I want to take photos of everything and share them with as many people as possible.

I feel very grateful that I got to 50 as so many others do not. There was a time where I couldn’t even imagine what the next day might bring.

So to sum up I guess I’m loving the life we have made for ourselves and I’m just negotiating the wobbles along the way. The ups and downs of everyday life, that are no worse than everyone else’s. I need to remind myself of that more often.

I would like to thank everyone who reads my ramblings. It means so much to me that you would take the time to read what I have to say. I hope that by writing this, my story will help someone else.

Thank you from the bottom on my heart.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 952 it has just rained ALL day ☔️☔️☔️

It just didn’t stop raining today. It was so dark all day. I ended up having music on at my desk to try and drown out the rain on the portacabin roof!

I never used to be able to work with music but we’ve been enjoying some Ibiza chill classics in the background in the last few weeks.

I got through loads at work. I’m finishing up for a break tomorrow night and not back until Monday 28th. No customers in today… No wonder to be fair, you wouldn’t go out in that unless you had to!

I went to my friend Gemma’s straight from work. She very kindly agreed to take up my trousers for my outfit at the weekend. She did a great job. I love them!

I was a bit spooked driving home. I’m really struggling to see in the dark…. Yeah ok, I hear myself.

The van is wobbling, it’s pouring, the windscreen is streaky and the headlights from on coming cars were blinding me. I wobbled at one point and jerked the steering wheel thinking I was heading in the wrong direction. I got a fright and was like driving Miss Daisy all the way home.

Craig has done an amazing job in the house today. He’s done all the housework and fixed the living room radiator, which was falling off the wall. It’s the best thing in the world to come home to a clean house.

He can stay….. 😆♥️

Incidentally, we have a Shark pet hoover and it has an anti-hair wrap function……. Look at the amount of hair I cut off the anti-hair wrap roller. Absolutely shocking. wouldn’t recommend it for anyone with pets.

My Gran’s Christmas cactus is blooming at the moment. Mum has a cutting from the same plant but her flowers are darker pink when they bloom.

It’s beautifully delicate and fragile.

It made me think of a lovely friend of mine recovering from a big operation. She loves delicate flowers. I sent her a few photos to let her know I thought of her every time I looked at it.

Dinner is in the oven. Chicken chuffed with garlic and herb cheese and wrapped in Parma ham. Least I could do… feeding the worker 😘

So that’s all from me I think. Only one more sleep till holidays.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 951 a very busy day and now I’ve hit a wall!

I could have sooooo easily stayed in bed this morning and not gone to the Farm. I’m tired. But… I got out of bed and drove Abbie the wobbly Campervan to the gym.

It was a good one this morning and I ran with Linda a fair bit and she’s always there with a word of encouragement. There was a lot of running and I’ve already done 12,537 steps so far and it’s 6.50pm.

There was a lovely sunrise this morning with a dark red sky. It was a great way to start the day.

Work was super busy and we had customers in all day. That hasn’t happened for a while. I’ve not had much time to catch up on the everything else so I need to get that done tomorrow.

I headed to Tesco after work and that’s where it started to go a bit wrong.

I wandered about aimlessly with absolutely no idea. I don’t fancy eating anything. Nothing appeals to me. Does that make any sense?!? I find myself wandering and talking to myself as I go. 🫣 I can’t think straight as my mind clouds.… I buy some bits and bobs that come to £65 but I forget so many things.

I should say here that I don’t do a list because my mind empties at the thought of one….. I was looking for inspiration in the supermarket and well….. yeah that went well…. 😆

I have a lot of rules when I supermarket shop. I can’t just buy what I want. I always search for the cheapest options and don’t always end up with the best choices because I refuse to spend a certain amount for certain things. Weird that eh?!

So many of the shelves are empty. It’s actually quite sad that Brexit has brought us to this. Empty fruit and veg in particular.

Anyway…. I left Tesco after an hour and half… and headed for diesel. The station was busy. I chose the pump that said…. EXTRA LONG HOSE USE BOTH SIDES…. Nope not extra long enough. 😉

Had to reverse wobble van back out and pull into the correct side of the pump. The guy in the shop said that he reckons the extra long hoses are shorter than the last long hoses they had…. 😆

Back home and unpacked the shopping and started dinner. I’m flagging now. I feel like I’ve had to use up all my energy today and I would happily just sit with a bag of crisps… but I cook dinner and make some soup for lunch tomorrow.

I can’t quite put my finger of it but I’m antsy and restless.

This is a big week for me and I have a lot to do and so many things to fall in to place and I’m longing for my normality without any interruptions. Some people are just never happy eh?!

It’s nearly 8pm already and we’ve just finished dinner. I need to relax now and stop my mind from running through all the things that need doing.

I will make a list to get it out my head.

A few funnies to end. 😆

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 950 what a beautiful day to be alive remembering so many that gave their lives so we could still be here ♥️

There is no wind, no sound, the birds have flown south yet we have a balmy 10°C forecast this morning. We’ve been outside since we got out of bed.

We may have regretted waking Cookie up this morning as she wouldn’t move, until we poked and prodded her 😬 and then her “kisses on the nose” were full blown Chihuahua licks all over the face!!! She sleeps under a blanket on the bed and gets herself all cooried in to it. Sooo cute.

We came outside into our newly pressure-washed garden and decided to light the fire pit.

Every year I try to do a new purple poppy photo shoot in memory of all the animals that are involved in war and in service but today did not go as planned…. I couldn’t get the 3 of them together at all. The excitement of having Cookie here seemed to knock any obedience on its head.

Calaidh as always is the star of the show.

Bhruic never manages to match Calaidh’s ladylike elegance.

And Freya……. Well bless….

Craig’s wood cutting with the village wood cutters this morning so I set off out with Cookie and Calaidh.

Then back home for Bhruic and Freya!

I’m now back in front of my fire in the garden.

I settle back in front of the fire when I got home, popping in and out forbhe house to do some small chores.

This is what life is all about. These moments where you feel super grateful for the calm, the peace and the beauty round about you.

The anxious, crying version of me from last Sunday, is nowhere to be seen.

The house is a riot and needs cleaned but I’m enjoying being outdoors far too much to start that just yet.

Look at that beautiful sun!

Craig took some photos from wood cutting.

So all of this before 12pm!!

I’ve had a lovely afternoon sitting by the fire in the sun, in a T-shirt in November!! Then went into Claire’s for a hair and makeup trial as she offered to do that for my birthday party next weekend. It was sooooo relaxing and I’m so pleased that I love it and I feel really natural….. and I get to relax in the run up to the party next week.

Craig and I then popped into the pub next door, where I had some Gordon’s Pink 0% gin with slimline tonic before heading over to the Village Hall with Holly to clean the toilets…. 🚽🚾🚻🧽🧹

It’s nearly 6pm and I can’t think what to have for dinner so I’m back outside at the dying embers of the fire, where we started the day.

I’ve had a pretty perfect Sunday just sorry I missed the in-laws when the came to pick Cookie up! I’ll miss her snuffling in bed tonight.

My weekends fly in these days but as long as my head is quiet and calm, that’s all that matters.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 949 a very busy day in the little gift shop, the garage and puppy sitting! 🐶🐶🐶🐶

I’m currently in the waiting room in the garage. It’s 1.35pm and they’ve just taken wobbly Abbie the camper out for a test drive. To be fair she wobbled all the way over here so at least she’s not hiding it, like some cars do when you try to show someone how bad it is. 😬

Always remember when I was a kid, I’d take my dad out to let him see something that I thought was wrong with the car and it would always be fine. 🤦🏻‍♀️

We had the busiest morning since I started working in the little gift shop. I didn’t get a minute to take photos of anything so I might pinch some from the FB page. 😂

It just didn’t stop which was great and I had a wee excited grin on my face as people kept coming through the doors.

Lovely to see my friend Andrina come all the way to the shop, to drop in a birthday present for me. So kind and such a surprise. 🎁🥳🎉

So the garage doesn’t know what’s wrong but agrees the wobble is bad. I’ve to take it back next week sometime, it could be the drive shaft or the gearbox mounted maybe.

I’m cold by the time I left the garage and I get home and have to walk the dogs. It’s a lovely wee walk but the dogs get super muddy.

The village looks lovely in the sun.

I spend a lot of time trying to avoid taking photos of these pylons but actually, I thought this was quite dramatic.

The sky was really dark and I guess there’s more rain coming.

We were lucky we stayed dry!

We have Cookie the Chihuahua overnight tonight.

We’ve had lots of Cookie cuddles already.

I’m tired and quite grumpy tonight. Probably nothing that a good sleep wouldn’t fix. I have that age old thing of overthinking the things that I want to in the short space of time I have off.

I then get annoyed because I’m too tired to do any of it.

Until I give myself permission not to do any of it. Only then I can relax.

It took me 2 hours to get to that stage 😂

Comfies on, fire and candles on and takeaway ordered as I really can’t be bothered cooking. It’s our first in a while and I tried to be healthy with my choices.

Have a lovely Saturday evening.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 948 Remembrance Day 11/11/22 ♥️

Here are the girls wearing their purple poppies to remember all of the animals that died in war. 💜💜💜

Here is the window of our Village Hall. The Crochet Hookers started crocheting poppies in January 2022 and sadly only one of us got into it and enjoyed making them. They look lovely.

Lest we forget.

I woke at 4.30am despite being late in bed last night. I headed over to the Farm at 5.15am so was super early.

The guy who usually fixes my van was there and spotted that I’ve been driving a Tartan van all week and now that Abbie has strange new wheels. He told me to take her down to his garage after work tomorrow so he can get a look. Fingers crossed he might suss what is really wrong.

So the Farm was good, it’s really mild here just now. 14°C mid November is crazy. We worked hard and I was back home for 7.30am.

I had a wee lie down until 8.30am when I went out a walk with Calaidh and Holly and Leo next door.

Calaidh posing as we wait for Leo.

Leo’s shadow looks huge as Calaidh is away up front.

The sky is so dark and yet the rain never came.

It’s a lovely sunrise and a great catch up.

So I’m still feeling good today. I’m tired but not that dog tired that I have been this week. When I got home, the doctor’s surgery called to say that they had referred me to the Gatehouse Clinic for the mirena coil. I realise there may be a huge waiting list, but this feels like a step in the right direction.

The little gift shop was good today. We were busy today and had boxes of new stock to unpack. Exciting times for me.

I should say here that Gayle won the Best Independent Retailer 2022 in the Scottish Business Awards. Sooooooo proud of her. She saw a gap in our local market and went for it and opened this lovely wee shop that’s become a hub in our community. I’m so proud to be a part of it.

Should have taken some photos as Gayle has changed the shop around completely so it looks like a different shop /and I’m seeing things I never knew were there!

Craigie has had a super productive day too and pressure washed the back garden again. It looks amazing!

So we need the wind to stop “blowin’ a hoolie” to help keep it clean and tidy in time for my birthday weekend next week. 😂😂

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 947 a better day today 😬😊

I got into bed at 8.30pm last night .

I even started watching “I’m a Celebrity” at 9pm on my phone. I very rarely watch anything like that but I was really interested to see how Matt Hancock got on entering the jungle. (For those who don’t know, he was our Secretary of State for Health and Social Care from July 2018 to June 2021 right through the worst of COVID and I’m a Celebrity is a show where celebs go live in the jungle in Australia and have to do all kinds of yucky challenges before one of them being crowned King or Queen of the jungle. Was that the longest sentence without punctuation?!?) He actually seemed to do pretty well. I thought he might get ripped to shreds. That might still happen but he doesn’t seem scared of the jungle challenges. Anyway I’m not sure where I’m going with all that…. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I opened my eyes at 5.45am and I knew instantly I felt better.

I’ve stopped the progesterone for a fortnight. I haven’t taken any since Tuesday night.

Oops 🙊

I felt like a weight had been lifted. Getting ready for work felt easier. The stroppy, tantrumming child had gone. My step was lighter.

I drove to work and marvelled at the sunrise. I enjoyed the drive. I was grateful.

So many things went right at work too. Parts came in that we really needed, things fell into place. I crossed things off my lists. More importantly I even remembered to look at the lists in the first place.

I made a clear decision to call the Gatehouse Clinic in Irvine to make an appointment to get a Mirena coil fitted. This will release progesterone internally, way more slowly than the fortnight of pills. My gut tells me this is the right move.

So that went well……. 😳

The receptionist balled down the phone “THERE’S A HUGE WAITING LIST” then asked if it was for contraception. When I said no, it was for HRT, she seemed so chuffed with her reply “WELL YE’LL NEED A DCOTOR’S REFERRAL THEN”…. Almost triumphant in her victory and getting me off the phone. 😳

That is not what my doctor thinks.

So I made a quick call to the doc to pass on that message. Hopefully she’ll get back to me soon.

I feel a bit despondent but NOTHING like I would have yesterday. What would have been the end of the world yesterday, was only a minor hiccup today.

At lunch, the guy working on Abbie the camper van brought her back.

She’s still not fixed by she has new rear arms and hubs, bushes and bearings yet she still had a wobble. Particularly on acceleration. He wasn’t sure where to go next.

So I paid over the £422.22 and was close to tears.

Tartan boss took control and got the boys to swap my big wheels back for the smaller, normal wheels to see if that helped. It was really good of him to do that as I don’t know what to do next.

I took her out for a test drive and thought it was much better.

It took me a minute to get back on track with work as my mind was desperately trying to find a way to dwell on the negativity of the situation. To over-dramatise it.

I did get back on track though and got lots finished off before finishing. It was a good day!

Driving home I’m sure there’s still a pretty bad wobble on acceleration. I’m not imagining it…. as much as I want it to go away.

The noise in my head has gone, I feel like the depression has lifted and the calm is so welcome. I’m tired but nothing like it was. I’ve not been scrambling for energy today. I’ve eaten well.

I’ve always said the calm after one of those spells is the most amazing feeling. The relief is immense.

I’ve got the Memorial Hall Committee meeting tonight to discuss fund raising. It doesn’t start till 7.30pm. 😳

I will try to stay awake until then. As I write that I am smiling. I’ve got this today.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️