I got into bed at 8.30pm last night .

I even started watching “I’m a Celebrity” at 9pm on my phone. I very rarely watch anything like that but I was really interested to see how Matt Hancock got on entering the jungle. (For those who don’t know, he was our Secretary of State for Health and Social Care from July 2018 to June 2021 right through the worst of COVID and I’m a Celebrity is a show where celebs go live in the jungle in Australia and have to do all kinds of yucky challenges before one of them being crowned King or Queen of the jungle. Was that the longest sentence without punctuation?!?) He actually seemed to do pretty well. I thought he might get ripped to shreds. That might still happen but he doesn’t seem scared of the jungle challenges. Anyway I’m not sure where I’m going with all that…. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I opened my eyes at 5.45am and I knew instantly I felt better.

I’ve stopped the progesterone for a fortnight. I haven’t taken any since Tuesday night.

I felt like a weight had been lifted. Getting ready for work felt easier. The stroppy, tantrumming child had gone. My step was lighter.

I drove to work and marvelled at the sunrise. I enjoyed the drive. I was grateful.

So many things went right at work too. Parts came in that we really needed, things fell into place. I crossed things off my lists. More importantly I even remembered to look at the lists in the first place.

I made a clear decision to call the Gatehouse Clinic in Irvine to make an appointment to get a Mirena coil fitted. This will release progesterone internally, way more slowly than the fortnight of pills. My gut tells me this is the right move.

So that went well……. 😳

The receptionist balled down the phone “THERE’S A HUGE WAITING LIST” then asked if it was for contraception. When I said no, it was for HRT, she seemed so chuffed with her reply “WELL YE’LL NEED A DCOTOR’S REFERRAL THEN”…. Almost triumphant in her victory and getting me off the phone. 😳

That is not what my doctor thinks.

So I made a quick call to the doc to pass on that message. Hopefully she’ll get back to me soon.

I feel a bit despondent but NOTHING like I would have yesterday. What would have been the end of the world yesterday, was only a minor hiccup today.

At lunch, the guy working on Abbie the camper van brought her back.

She’s still not fixed by she has new rear arms and hubs, bushes and bearings yet she still had a wobble. Particularly on acceleration. He wasn’t sure where to go next.

So I paid over the £422.22 and was close to tears.

Tartan boss took control and got the boys to swap my big wheels back for the smaller, normal wheels to see if that helped. It was really good of him to do that as I don’t know what to do next.

I took her out for a test drive and thought it was much better.

It took me a minute to get back on track with work as my mind was desperately trying to find a way to dwell on the negativity of the situation. To over-dramatise it.

I did get back on track though and got lots finished off before finishing. It was a good day!

Driving home I’m sure there’s still a pretty bad wobble on acceleration. I’m not imagining it…. as much as I want it to go away.

The noise in my head has gone, I feel like the depression has lifted and the calm is so welcome. I’m tired but nothing like it was. I’ve not been scrambling for energy today. I’ve eaten well.

I’ve always said the calm after one of those spells is the most amazing feeling. The relief is immense.

I’ve got the Memorial Hall Committee meeting tonight to discuss fund raising. It doesn’t start till 7.30pm. 😳

I will try to stay awake until then. As I write that I am smiling. I’ve got this today.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️