I was in bed by 8.30pm and slept right through until 5.45am.

I had a nurse appointment this morning just for a blood pressure check which was 115 over 78 (whatever that means… I really should look that up) and my resting heart rate was 61.

I stayed in bed until 7.45am and although I wasn’t sleeping I was snoozing, which was sooooo good. Love a wee cheeky lie in.

When I did get up I felt ok, but the anxiety and breathlessness started to kick in as I felt I was running out of time to get ready.

I couldn’t figure out what to bring for lunch as we’re on this 6 week challenge at the Farm, but I’m not concentrating on buying the right food, so I was all over the place about that. I need to eat more protein and veg but my focus just didn’t there.

Do you know even as I write this I’m stressed at reliving the anxiety of this morning. It’s so tiring feeling like this.

I couldn’t find the doctors surgery… couldn’t remember how to get there. Took two wrong turns until I finally figured it out. My mind wasn’t focussed properly.

By the time I got there I was “up to high doh” as mum would say. I couldn’t figure out whether or not to head in early or wait outside until nearer the appointment. How long would it take me to walk in to the surgery blah blah blah….

I got out the van and walked straight in (with my mask on!) and sat down. It was THAT easy.

I talked to the nurse and she suggested making a doctors appointment to discuss how I’ve been feeling these last few days.

The doctor called me once I got to work and was super lovely and listened to me as I talked through my tears.

She gave me some options…..

• Stop taking HRT altogether
• Reduce the oestrogen by halving the patch
• Reduce the progesterone by getting the Mirena coil fitted which emits a smaller amount of progesterone

I honestly have no idea what to do. That brought the tears again. I’m just so tired.

I really hoped this would be some magical fix and yeah I’ve given it a whole two weeks and I’m crying coz it’s not working yet…. Ridiculous eh?! I hear myself.

I’ve decided to skip the exercise class tonight. I have my jammies on already. I’ve cooked dinner which is something.

I just don’t fancy eating anything much really except junk and sugary snacks. Desperately seeking that energy boost in all the wrong places.

But it’s all enough. Everything I’m doing just now is enough and I’ll get through this wee down spell and come out stronger.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️