Have to start by congratulating Scotland for the rugby win over England yesterday winning the Calcutta Cup 11-6. What a game, our team were amazing and they should be very proud!

Anyway, onto today, I love a Sunday in lockdown. There is no pressure for us to do anything at all.

Despite the FUR-EEEEEEE-ZIN’ temperatures out there today I can officially report that even up here in South West Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 spring is a-springing…. check out the carpet of snowdrops I found on the dog walk this morning with my neighbour Holly.

I also spotted about 3 inches of daffodil 🌼 stems coming through. I cannot wait for spring and summer. We walked up through the fields and had a great view over North Ayrshire but it never looks great in photos when the sun is nowhere to be seen!

Poor Calaidh had to have a full bath when I got home. She was filthy!!! We had got ourselves stuck in a field that had been re-fenced and Calaidh went right through the muddiest mud ever…. I even had to bath and shower my hiking boots!

Calaidh was a wee sorry soul but very good… then I had to wash the bathroom!!! Craig took Bhru and Freya out and they came back fine.

I’ve had a wee pamper to myself and painted my nails. This glittery stuff is a nightmare to work with (who do I think I am eh?!?) but it’s bright and cheery… and teal… which seems to be the attraction for anything these days. Toes are purple but pics are no sae braw….

So I’ve not much more to report today. There will definitely be a nap this afternoon. The fire is on and the football is nearly finished. I just heard a “YES…. YES…. YES…..” from the living room so sounds like that’s going well. I can publish the blog now as I’m fairly certain there is gonna be hee-haw else happening and it will make me feel like I have a “day off”!

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

Today I walked. A lot. The end.

Might be a weee bit tired. Had a lovely shower and got clean jammies on… Christmas ones… don’t judge. No one will ever know. 😬☺️

I woke up before 5am this morning thinking about a local incident we had in Kilmarnock on 4th February where a man stabbed his ex wife and eldest daughter in two separate incidents before killing himself by driving into a tree.

Craig is from Kilmarnock and we still own a house there which we rent out so it was pretty close to us. They were just in my head and I was thinking about what they all went through in the run up to it. So sad.

I fell back to sleep and was about 9 when I woke up due to a barking dog… by that time of the morning they were likely needing out.

So our firstborn, the OG puppy turns 6 today. Took a wee pic of her this morning. Ok I lie… I took hunners o’pics. 😁

That wee mash up has her at every age except 2 & 5… for some reason I didn’t take pics on her 2nd or 5th birthday…. not like me eh?!?

So after a lazy start to the day, Craig I both took the dogs out for a 3.5mile walk around Beith.

Then had lunch and back out for a 3.9 miles walk with Claire to Nosh in Barmill for a takeaway coffee and a wee wander round Barmill Community park.

Just had a wee surprise to the door. A scotch pie and a beer for Craig and an alcohol feee Erdinger for me. How lovely!!! It’s half time in the Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 rugby match and Holly from the pub has sent these in. We also have her takeaway booked and coming later. What a lovely surprise!

Scotland are currently winning…. 8 to 6. Fingers, toes and all puppy paws are crossed. Go Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Stay safe everyone 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I had THE best sleep. No dreams, no nothing, just sleep.

Today was always going to be an exciting day what with cake and Largs but I’ll explain that in a mo…. first of all, today would have been my lovely Gran’s 99th birthday.

I miss holding Grans hands. The feel of her thin skin. I was so lucky to have my Gran up until a few years ago. This is also her in Grans chair that I talk about a lot and was a huge support literally when I was off sick. Recline snooze, back up crochet. Perfect chair. Perfect Gran. Miss her 💜

So up shower, hair wash, jeans on and a weeeeee bit of eyeliner, oh and perfume….. someone’s going somewhere….. the dogs are sniffing about as they know these smells are not “about-to-go-dog-walking” smells. Calaidh looks sad.

I on the other hand am ecstatic. ♥️

First things first…. out into Abbie the camper (novelty as she’s been in the garage for 3 days) and pop up to

Ellly’s Custom Cakes 🍰🧁🥮

to get some of her takeaway cakes!!!

I ordered these the other day and decided on a morning pick up so we could just eat cake all day….. also thought it would be nice to have cake on Grans birthday!!

Then had to head straight out to Largs. My favourite place!!! I’d had to book an Opticians appointment as I’ve lost both pairs of glasses.

He weather was atrocious. Really heavy rain and sleet. it was like driving through a river heading over the moor.

The Clyde Murshiel Regional Park was covered in snow so it was a lovely drive. The sky was really dark and heavy with rain. The 2 reservoirs I drove past were really dark yet the surrounding hills were pure white. It was so lovely and so atmospheric. Couldn’t stop anywhere to take photos obviously. The road was like a river. The whole way over. It was really badly flooded. Just had to take my time and take it easy.

Opticians went well. Lots of plastic screens in place to stop people from being near each other. Any glasses you touch must be put in a wee basket…. even if you touch some by mistake. By the time I’d wandered round the shop I had about 20 pairs in my wee basket 🤓😎🥸🤓😎🤩🤓😎🤩

It has stopped raining by the time I came out so I thought I’d grab a Costa Coffee. Not so easy. Have to scan the QR code in the window, download the app… register the Costa before you can get in and choose and pay for a coffee. Five mins later you open up the front door and your coffee is on a shelf waiting for you marked Julie A.

Clever huh?! And it was absolutely bloody lovely. I had a vanilla and coconut latte. Way too cold outside to even think about taking a photo.

I’ve got a puppy call tonight at 7pm…. I mean who works on a Friday night at 7pm…. it seemed like a good idea at the time. I I’m feet up in front of the fire having a wee rest. Warm and dry again and we just s had a piece of the Rocky Road…. oh my…. it was out of this world!!!

Happy weekend! Plenty of cake still to go!

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

None of us signed up for lockdown in Winter…. certainly not lockdown in TORRENTIAL rain. Having said that none of us signed up for a global pandemic lockdown. I’m being flippant but you know what I mean. We are so lucky that all we are asked to do is stay home and not fight in the trenches like during the world wars.

I’ve had the busiest day today. It’s 6pm already and I’m only just starting the blog.

I had to go to collect Abbie the camper van today after her £513 worth of work that needed done…. because of this……

This wee thing was £20 but it cost £480 of labour to diagnose and then replace. On the plus side the van seems to run a bit better and it smells a lot better. This was the turbo gasket so exhaust fumes were leaking into the van. I’ve a new pollen filter too so if we even have sun again, I’ll be awright….

Sadly the garage couldn’t repair the reversing camera as they didn’t know how to?!? I was surprisingly upset at that… I mean how hard is it?! I even asked if they could fit a new one but they didn’t seem to know if that was possible?!? Must ask on some of the VW pages to ask for some advice. Someone will know.

Forgot to mention that Freya and I walked to the garage….. I may have mentioned that it was pouring!!!!! We got absolutely soaked and I could feel water running down my arms inside my jacket….

Back home just in time for a call that I had scheduled for 11am.

Craig and I then had a Pawsitive Solutions Zoom call and made a few decisions about social media moving forward and then I was straight onto my monthly tapping group Zoom call.

We discussed self fulfilment today and also laughter yoga. Honestly sit there and make yourself laugh even if it’s put on… it raises your spirits. You will feel a bit daft but honestly it ends up hysterical. 🤣🤣🤣

So I’m actually sick of the sound of my own voice now!

Not gonna lie I’m exhausted with all that. Need to go and sit in a quiet room now 😆

Stay safe everyone 💙🤍🧡

Thank goodness this version of me woke up today. Maybe I should start giving the various versions of me different names 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣 jeez how bored am I?!?

We were late in bed last night as we’re watching The Man in the High Castle just now. The football had been on all night (women roll their eyes with me) so I wanted a few episodes under my belt before I went to bed. I’m a 10 o’clock bedtime girl…. I have been for as long as I can remember. Have no idea why really but even if I have nothing to do the following day I like to bethinking about bed at 10ish. Funny how we develop these habits. So midnight last night and I didn’t turn into a pumpkin.

So I need to start with some Covid announcements from yesterday.

So sad to hear of Captain Tom Moore’s death due to COVID-19. I was really surprised to hear he had been on holiday to Barbados over Christmas as that seems to go against everything we are meant to be doing just now and I hope that didn’t attribute to his catching COVID-19. Sad news though.

And boy did it rain today….. enough that it’s now coming in the roof that has already been repaired and the flat roof that really needs replacing. We are soaking up drips with dog blankets and tea towels. The roof has been our biggest single expense since we moved in to this house but it comes with the 250+ year old territory I guess. The roofer is coming out tomorrow to assess the damage…… 🤦🏻‍♀️😳

Left Calaidh at home as she has been limping since the big walk on Monday. We walked in very sleety snow. Super wet.

I got soaked through but I walked round the woods 3 times to get some extra steps in. Home and had a cold shower as the hot water hurt…. all clean and into comfies. Jammies if I’m honest. My comfies are all wearing thin 😆

I’ve done some work, sorted some bills, done my knee stretches, taken a belated birthday present along to my lovely neighbour who was 60 on Saturday! It’s only 3.30pm.

I plan to work on my latest crochet work in progress…. thinking this could be a cushion cover? Just need to find a good way of attaching it to the cushion without half-assing it and ruining both the cushion and the crochet….

Stay safe everyone 💜💚💙

Today started VERY early with a sneaky wee 4.30am alarm that hadn’t been changed. If you’re a regular reader you will know it wasn’t mine…. #justsaying

Then my mind kicks in and oh my god, if there was anything else I could have thought about, worried about, tried to solve then I’d be amazed. In fact if you can all just send me your problems I’ll ruminate them all for you and spit them back out in no resolved manner whatsoever. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Then I read this……

I really tried to change my mindset. I instantly felt a weight lift.

I had been giving lots of good advice yesterday to people in the AFTER DRY JANUARY fb group. Telling them that they should take control of these difficult situations in their lives. Telling them that only they can make the difference. Telling them to make the change.

Yet here I am worrying about what order to do things in today… AGAIN…. do I dog walk first, what’s the weather gonna be? When will I get the van back? How much will it cost? Can’t believe I’ve lost both pairs of glasses… must arrange an eye test. How stupid am I? How fat do I feel? Ugh… disgusted with myself? Can’t believe I started exercise at the start of the year then after the kettlebells with a breadboard it all just went out the window….. I’m too tired to be bothered exercising. I can’t be bothered deciding what’s for dinner, let’s order takeaway or eat junk. How bad am I that I can’t enjoy every minute of this gift of being forced to stay home?!? Hey I probably manifested this for years when I was working… why can’t I ever just relax, switch off, be happy? What state is the kitchen in, bet the dishwasher needs loaded…. we have Pawsitive Solutions stuff we should do? When are we going to do that? I should do more crochet but I’m enjoying reading that book… wonder if I’ll make time for that? How can i when I have so many other things to do?!?

OH MY ACTUAL GOD….. WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE EFF UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤯🤯🤯

So first things first…… coffee. Which actually doesn’t help anxiety but hey….. it’s the only vice I have left.

The Morrison’s food delivery arrived just before 9am and we got all that put away and then Claire suggested a walk at 9.30am as she’s on holiday. Magic. She solves the ‘what to do first?’ and I can stop thinking about all this noise as we chat.

It is not a particularly pleasant day… we were meant to have loads of snow but we have tiny pathetic little flurries in between rain.

Time spent with friends and a good giggle is remedy in itself.

I have to remember how much effort it takes to write this blog on a daily basis. Actually I don’t mean effort as it’s not a chore, it’s just become something that I am aware of all day, then start thinking about writing sometime in the afternoon. A good blog could take a couple of hours a day…. yet I am quick to say I did ‘nothing’….

So for the rest of the day I have contacted all Pawsitive Solutions enquiries that came in at the start of lockdown and asked if they are interested in Zoom call. I’ve also contacted today’s new enquiries.

I am at my desk, the candles are on, the sparkly lights are on as it’s dark outside. I have Freya at my feet. She moves around as I do so she always sleep on one foot or the other. I should say here that the other dogs still exist… it’s just been a Freya-centric day today!

I need to learn to accept that I am enough. I don’t need to have this whirring head that talks at me all the time, anything I do could have been better, should have been done differently…..

I started this early today as I knew I needed to clear my head and it’s done just that. I feel calm for the first time today. Truly relaxed.

In between writing I’ve read positive FB posts.

I’ve done a tapping grounding exercise online with Shelagh Cumming.

Balancing your energy system

That really helps me to breathe more slowly and usually gets me yawning like crazy as my energy changes.

I’ve also had the loveliest wee gift from Claire!

I have so much for be grateful for and I am enough.

Here endth the rant for today.

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

The 1st February is always a reflection for me. My boyfriend of only 4 months was killed in a car accident in 1992. He was only 21. Such a waste of such a young life.

I’d been very lucky until that point I’d only lost my Grandad so it was a huge slap of reality in my otherwise sheltered life.

I spoke to him half an hour before he died. He was on his way from Peterhead to Penicuik, to stay with us. He never arrived. His best mate called…. which was very strange (remember these days before mobile phones….) He hung up. He assumed I knew but didn’t. He called back after he’d found somewhere private to speak as all his friends were together and had to tell me what happened. The police arrived a few hours later.

I’d always been a tearful person but boy did I cry… I thought my life had ended.

I contacted University and they asked when I roughy I was likely to feel better enough to go back. Wtf. I had Uni friends who left Edinburgh and came all the way out to Penicuik to see me having no idea where they were even going. I learned then what true friendship should and should not be. I learned then that some people just don’t know how to handle grief so you don’t see them for dust. I learned then to always speak to people about their grief and loss as I knew what it meant to them.

I learned the true value of life. 4 months of a relationship was nothing. We could have split up the next week, I had no idea what life would have been but I also had any control of that taken away in a second.

To this day Craig and I ALWAYS say “drive carefully” when the other one leaves the house or is heading home. ALWAYS.

Anyway a somber start but all part of this journey….

Back to today then…. my anxiety took a wee wobble this morning. Let’s call it a wee bit of overwhelm. I had lots to do today and could not decide which order was be to do them…. you know what, none of it was a big deal but you will know by now that I like to make things harder then they need to be.

All of that was thrown up in the air when I realised that Abbie the camper van was booked in to the garage today to get the exhaust manifold kit replaced. 😱😱😱

Meltdown. A few tears, a chat to Craig and all was resolved. Some things on my list would have to wait. Priority was to get the van down to the garage and to kill two birds with one stone I took the dogs down so I could walk the back. Can’t really ask anyone’s for a lift in times of COVID… and shhhhh don’t tell anyone but the Jeep is still not home yet. 🤫😳

So despite my breathless anxiety I did manage to start breathing again on the walk home. After a good 10-15 minutes of just faffing with dogs and leads and leads and dogs… you get picture.

The highland cows were out and about in their field on the drive down… on the walk back they were all hiding. They new my camera was coming.

It always amazes me that two photos taken in the same spot in different directions can look so different.

We had to walk through Beith and the pavements were covered in thick grit which is not good for lil’ puppy paws…. so I had to try to keep them off it as much as possible. Managed to catch this shot by being on an ungritted pavement!

So I came home and sat down and made all my Pawsitive Solutions calls. No problems, no nerves, booked a puppy Zoom call for….. wait for it…. Friday night at 7pm. Yeah I know….. I know where are my boundaries?!?!? Every penny helps these days and it’s not like I’ve anything better to do!!!

So by the end of the day all is well… and breathe.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️