I had a lovely sleep but some crazy early morning dreams…. woke up very glad that they were just dreams.

Alarm at 7.30am as I had a guy coming to PAT test all the electrical equipment in the village hall. So up, showered, hair washed, new clothes on…. over to the hall for 8.30am. Said hello, unlocked the door to the hall and let him in. Came home. My big appointment for today and it was all over by 9am.

I watched him leave after about 15-20mins and I walked back over and locked the door. That was it. Done. Dusted. Over. Jeeeeez…. Now what….. 😳

By 11am we’d finished another 2 puppy training modules on line so I thought I’d take Freya out for a walk.

Freya was a bit scared of the horses today. One whinnied behind us and she just about jumped out of her skin. She then proceeded to “woo woo woo” at it and for those of you who have heard Freya bark… “woo woo woo” pretty much sums it up.

So back home and it’s just after 12am. Not that I am counting…. really I’m not. It just seems to be going very slowly.

I decided to blitz the bedroom again. That was finished before 1pm.

Of course it’s pancake 🥞 day today or Shrove Tuesday. Do we have pancakes? No? Am I more than making up for that by eating other stuff? Yes. Clever girl.

I am not kidding….. look what just arrived from 11 year old Rachel next door….. I wish you could smell them….. wow!! 🥞

I cannot believe that today is the anniversary of Caroline Flack’s death by suicide. I think that shocked a lot of us here in the UK (she was a popular TV presenter) but I can’t believe it’s been a year. A year in which hardly anybody is have left the house for any length of time.

I wanted to talk about suicidal thoughts as we need to take the stigma out of it. The cringe we all feel at the thought.

I’ve said before that we are a society who mourn suicide but deny depression. I can only imagine how bad Caroline Flack felt to follow her suicide through. How worthless she felt. How much of a burden she felt to others. The sadness here is the devastation at her loss. She had no idea what she meant to people. She was lost in her own lack of self love.

Suicide is not a weakness. It’s not an easy way out. It’s not a selfish act. Those who sadly succeed truly believe the world would be better off without them. Telnet that no one is ever alone. No matter how alone you may feel.

I’m not saying any of this because I’m in a bad place but I write this blog because I have been in the past and I want everyone to know how bad that felt at the time. If this helps one person reading this then it will have been worth it.

The focus for the rest of the day is going to either be a nap or crochet. I’ve done another 2 squares today and will keep going with my latest obsession. And there is a very good chance I will be eating those pancakes. Bad day to have run out of butter 🧈 🤷🏻‍♀️

From the announcements in Scotland today it looks like our lockdown is going to continue into March 😳 it’s 16.20 now. How far away is March?!? 🙈

Stay safe everyone 😷😷😷