I thought the traffic would be quiet this morning. To be fair, my traffic is nothing more than a road of people driving in the same direction….. I have a cheek to call it traffic. There are never any queues. 😆 Anyway, there were a lot more people working this morning than I expected. That was my point 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I’m shattered today. I didn’t sleep well last night at all. I felt wide awake. I got up to the loo at 11.24pm and again at 3.15am. Then awake at 5 and woke as if I’d been dead to the world at 6.15am.

We were in our new bedroom….. it did feel strange but I was just awake. I did drink a lot of lemonade yesterday. That was my treat…. 😂 wonder how much caffeine there is in lemonade?!? I was wired to the moon all night!

Our house must be about 300+ years old…. We have very squeaky floorboards upstairs. 😂 it make such a racket 😂 it will just take a bit of getting used to. We’re both loving the change though.

A change is as good as a rest, my lovely Gran used to say. She was right!

So work was surprisingly busy today. A few lovely customer visits but by the end of the day I had ticked off everything I’d wanted to do, and more.

Do you ever add things to a list just to cross them off because you’ve already done them?!? I do that all the time. It’s super rewarding!

I had a feet up lunch in the van. I just needed a change of scenery. I got the diesel heater on and could have gone for a snooze!

I showed Claire around the “house move work in progress”, when I got home. Her hubby told her not to get any ideas 😂 he had kindly helped us move a wardrobe yesterday when I just couldn’t move it!

So then I tidied up some of the mess. We are living with a computer in the small toilet, a desk in the sunroom etc, so I tidied these up to make a bit more space. It’s one thing to be in a mess but another to have to climb over that mess. I now have organised mess 😂

I also have a spare door inside my bathroom. But that is ok. There’s worst things in life. (Remind me of that the longer this goes on!)

I also made dinner. Salmon fish cakes with skinny fries and roasted peppers and onions. Not sure where this new found dinner inspiration has come from, I’d usually want a big bag of crisps!! It was really lovely.

And just because… this is too cute!!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I lay in bed this morning and caught up on some positive FB feed on my Rambling Sloth page.

Now….. I am not a trauma survivor but I thought this summed me up perfectly. I read that and relax a bit because alone is easy.

It’s not the way to live a life though, you heal from your triggers by facing up to them. As hard as that can be.

Easter Sunday 2023…. The day we started to rearrange our whole house… and I’m not exaggerating!

We have decide on a proper reshuffle. We’ve been talking about it for a while. We have a whole room upstairs that we hardly ever use. So…..

The bedroom will become the living room.

The spare bedroom will become our bedroom.

The office will become the spare bedroom.

The living room will become a dining room and be used as an office if necessary

The dogs room will stay the dogs room….. if we ever find the floor again, now that it’s the new dumping ground.

What a day.

We are knackered and don’t have the luxury of a holiday tomorrow. Least we’ll both sleep tonight.

How many times will we bang our heads on the low roof upstairs?!?! Now that the bed is up there it ain’t ever coming down.

So while the rest of the world ate chocolate eggs, we don’t even have one…. Bah humbug Easter people.

We started at about 8am and finally sat down about 5.30pm. Dinner’s in the oven thanks to my super shop the other day. Chicken wrapped in Parma ham and cheese, with herby potatoes and cauliflower.

Check me. Normally we’d get a takeaway after a day like today but I had food in the fridge which makes a change!

So the house is still a riot and there’s loads more to me done but at least I know where my work clothes are for tomorrow.

Enjoy Easter Monday those of you who are off. Tartan will be going strong. Lots to get through this week!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I should start by saying I smile as I write the blog these days…. As I type up the day and think to myself, I can’t believe we are nearly at day 2000…. We’re not dearest, day 2000 does not come after day 1099 but I think that every single day before my inner voice has a good laugh. 😆😬🙄🤘

Craig politely declined, “bite your head off dog walk” this morning, can’t think why?!? So I headed out for dog jog with the puppers.

The wild daffies are in full bloom!

Bhru’s talking to Calaidh 😂 love the way they look at each other when we run! (They actually do look like they are stationary here 😂😂)

Then Freya started to limp a fair bit. I stopped and checked her paws, found nothing but she was still limping pretty badly.

I then thought I might have to carry her so I picked her up 😳😬 but there was no way on this earth, that I was going to be able to carry her and walk the other two home. 🙄😂

When we got home she had cuddles with the Scottish Dog Behaviourist. That seems to have made it all better.

I went out into the garden to take this through the window. I should say that Craig still uses the crochet blanket I made for him!

I stripped the bed, washed it and hung it out on the line before work. I put a second washing in before I left. It feels cold and might not dry but at least it will get a good blow around in the fresh air.

Then had to pop to the Pharmacy to pick up my repeat HRT prescription. This is my third batch. There’s a shortage or progesterone but I got some of it thankfully. Just have to get the remainder on back order.

I spoke to them about a pain I have in my big toe joint. I’d taken photos in the sun last night when I got home from work. Don’t worry I’ll spare you 😬😆 but she did say she was sorry but……. it may be the start of a bunion…. 😳

I have no pain for days and then all of a sudden it feels excruciating. It’s like the joint has a pulse, yet as I sit here writing, I can’t feel a thing. I haven’t felt it all day today but it was really sore yesterday.

Now I should say here, that we’re no strangers to bunions in my family so it shouldn’t really come as a surprise to me. 😆

I had a great day at The little gift shop. It was really busy. I love that buzz!! When I finished I had to pop up to the Lochwinnoch shop to pick up some flowers to deliver to a lovely customer.

I couldn’t resist a wee sunflower selfie! The sun was shining and it felt quite warm.

I popped into drop off the flowers on the way home and had a lovely chat with a poor lady who is housebound until her mobility scooter arrives. I’m certain we’ll see her flying up and down the pavements soon!!

Home for 20 minutes, changed and back out to the Gateside Inn next door, for what could be the last meal ever. It’s up for sale and the kitchen is closing from tomorrow. We had chicken tempura to share, to start, steak pie for mains and a hot chocolate fudge cake to share, for pud!

I was pre-sad when I only had 4 chips left on my plate!!

We came back home after late lunch and I’ve been pottering. I’ve made the bed back up with the clean sheets, cleaned the windows, tidied up a bit and have finally sat down to write this. I could sleep now!!

It’s clouded over now but it is lovely to have had some bright weather these last few days.

I’m sooooo ready for my one and only day off tomorrow!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

The moon was enormous when I was out with the dogs last night!

It’s like the sun rising….

I woke at 3.30am today and couldn’t get back to sleep. Reckon I did for about an hour and woke about 6.30am. Sluggish and grouchy.

It’s a beautiful morning. The forecast is for sunshine all day. It’s cold though when you’re out of the sun.

We started the morning with me dressed for a dog jog but Craig coming for a walk. A potential photo shoot opportunity!

Now I will be very honest here and say that I was out appreciating the beauty and wonder of the early morning sunset while Craig has a lot on today and used the time to chat.

😬🙈

I did not respond well to this intrusion into my silent wonderment. Is that even English?!? Safe to say…. It was a learning curve. Either go on your own for a walk if you need space or remember that when you’re together that you actually should be capable of communication! Sorry handsome boy 😘

It’s been a beautiful day. ☀️☀️☀️

Everyone that comes into the shop tells me how warm it is outside…. Easily our warmest day of the year so far. I took my gloves off at 1.30pm 😂😂 wore my scarf all day. It was cool in the shop with the door open though we were able to switch the heating off mid afternoon.

The shop is beautiful this week… not that it isn’t always 😂 Gayle has bought loads of new stock. It’s so springlike. Here’s a selection of photos.

I just love working in this beautiful space. It’s been a fairly busy day and passed really quickly.

I’m home now…. Still wearing the scarf but sitting out in the back garden.

Need to go and out some dinner on to save getting a takeaway. Something nice and healthy instead.

Hope you had a lovely sunny day. It might still be warm-ish when I finish work tomorrow, I hope!!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Wide awake at 4am. 😳

Tried really hard to get back to sleep but just couldn’t do it. Too much whirling round in my head.

As usual work went really quickly today. There were no major dramas and I got through loads of work and sorted everything ready for a busy week next week.

Craig dropped me off and picked me up again and we went straight to the garage tonight, to pick up his car. I have my wheels back!’ Poor Abbie the Campervan has done loads of mileage this week chauffeuring me around although it has been lovely not having to drive.

On the way back home I stopped in at Aldi’s for a food shop. You’ll be pleased to hear I did eat today. Only fasted for 16.5 hours. That’s way more manageable. 😂

I’ve got some nice healthy food to stop us wasting money on takeaway over the weekend. Check me!

It’s 7.30pm already. The Tartan washing is on. If I don’t do it now, I’ll forget. 😳😂

We’re working Monday so no big Easter break for us. Lots of suppliers were saying, have a great Easter, have a great weekend! Least Monday will be quiet.

It’s been lovely and sunny since I left work. It felt really warm through the windows of the van. I think it’s to be nice tomorrow too. Sunshine always puts a spring in your step. ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

I was hoping to fit in a wild sea swim in the morning before the Little gift shop, but, I got the tides wrong and the tide is out at 7.23am and not in. 😂 That just means a long, cold walk back to the van!

I also may have seriously overthought this (no, surely not, I hear you say….😆) but when you go swimming at high tide, you are swimming over ground that you can walk on later in the day, when the tide is out. When you go swimming at low tide, you are swimming over ground that never sees the light of day. Not sure I fancied that?!?! 😂 I know…… it made me laugh thinking it though.

Now that I’ve written that out I realise it’s completely crazy. I’ve swum in lakes and ponds before that aren’t tidal…. 😂😂😂 at least I make myself laugh at times.

After my 24 hour fast yesterday I stood side on to Craig and said “can you still see me?!? I’ve wasted away….” 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😘

It would appear I’m still fairly visible. 😆

Also does anyone actually know about this…… I don’t watch or listen to the news but Craig hadn’t heard of it either.

Who knew?!?!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Is that even a thing?!? It’s not been that quiet on the western front today but it has been wonderfully calm.

I was shattered after Kinesiology last night, as expected.

We do the call over Zoom and I’m conscious at the start, I’m cuddled into Gran’s crochet blanket, as if protecting myself or hiding from the things that make me feel sad. It’s funny how we can see a physical change in ourselves when we feel low. I look shattered, I look sad and I’m all curled up inside of myself.

As usual, describing Health Kinesiology is one of the most difficult things to do but I cannot tell you how much I love it. I’m intrigued to see what my body will want to work on (yeah I hear that sounding as crazy as it sounds….)

I think I’ve been absorbing a lot of negative energy these last few weeks and my fight or flight response has been triggered a lot. If something doesn’t sit right with me, I literally have an eruption within me that spews anger inside of me. It’s a completely irrational response to something that is not that bad. It might show as a defensive comment, a snide remark, a dig, a joke but inside I’m ready to run. My hands are thrown up in the air, I’m making that face of a huffy teenager who can’t get her way. Most of all I’m incensed by something that really is nothing. The voice in my head is telling my that it’s what I deserve, I’m not worthy…. Blah blah blah.

Kinesiology takes all of that and gives me rational reasons for it all.

So I slept like a log. Completely out for the count until 4.45am. Someone…… who shall remain nameless, may have been awake 😂

So I wrote all of this before I went to work today. I feel like I’ve been inside a washing machine ever since!!!!

I had a quiet morning, got lots done and this afternoon my worst case scenario happened. A rental camper broke down on my watch!!! My first reaction was one of horror….. I’m the only one that can deal with it today. Panic, panic, panic…… nope I can’t do that today, I have to deal with this. I started talking to myself calmly and rationally. I was devastated I had to phone my boss for a phone number and interrupt his day off but I worked my way through it all. I even messaged a friend up north to ask if he knew which garage would pick up the recovery. I then called the garage about an hour before the RAC finally called it through to him!

My fear is that I will do the wrong thing or not do it how it should be done. Today I had confidence in myself that I would do it the way I did it and that that would be ok. Let’s face it. It’s not hard to do and not much that can go wrong. I just usually panic and don’t think rationally.

I’m so chuffed with how I handled that today.

Can you see how hard it is to be in my mind sometimes and I am certain I’m not the only one.

In other news however, I forgot to eat today.

Now don’t all get angry with me and tell me it’s not good for me, but by the time dinner is ready I will have fasted for 24 hours. I am barely in control of my speech and I have the giggles so I definitely couldn’t manage any longer than this. We have talked about trying a 4 day fast but I honestly couldn’t do it, I’d pass out.

It gets quite addictive. I missed lunch as I was on the phone from just before it. I then had customers come in and they took up a bit of time. By the time I went back to my desk I had messaged to respond to and all of a sudden it was 3.45. I didn’t feel like eating my lunch so thought I’d wait until dinner. Craig and I are both so hangry that we couldn’t decide what we wanted so that wasted some more time 😂

Anyway I won’t make a habit of this. It was only because I was getting a lift home.

That could be the biggest load of waffle I’ve ever written 😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I slept ok. I still feel tired but I do feel a lot brighter than I did yesterday.

I saw on FB first thing that it was a beautiful sunrise so I jumped outside… across the road in my jammies. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

There are no filters here. Honestly the colours were just breathtaking. ❤️🧡💛

Then when I turned back to the house I realised the pink and purple was equally stunning. By this time the dogs are out playing. Always about the tennis ball 🎾

So yeah… a lovely start to the day before my shower even.

I’ve felt much better today. The sadness has gone. I still feel quiet and tired but none of that gut churning panic or nerves either.

It’s a quiet relief. I can breathe freely.

It’s been a quick day. Craig had to drop me off and pick me up as his car’s in for service and MOT. Being chauffeur driven home is really nice👌

Check the packet of crisps I opened at lunchtime…… 12 crisps in the bag. No wonder they’re classed as low fat crisps 😆

I counted them out 😂😂😂

So I have kinesiology tonight. I’m already calmer as a result… I will be shattered after it but I’m excited to see what we work on. I need to deal with this new found fear of driving and reversing. Take some stress out of that, among other things.

Stay safe everyone ❤️🧡💛

It was a beautiful day today.

The sun has been shining all day but it’s been quite cold in the breeze. I chose today not to wear the long sleeved T-shirt. 🙄 I walked out to a frozen windscreen!

I’ve not felt great for the last few days.

I feel really sad. I’m fairly certain it’s hormonal as it’s been so irrational. There’s no real reason for it.

There are a few things that I’m “trying not to worry about”….. that says it all.

I spend so much of my time living in the moment but sometimes I’m whirled out of that.

I feel very off kilter. Out of balance.

I felt quite sad when I went to bed last night but fine. I was fine when I woke up, no real dread for the day ahead. Tired and couldn’t be bothered, but that was all.

By 8am the tears were burning in my eyes and the day didn’t get much better.

Anyone who spent more than 10 minutes with me today, got it! Sorry guys. I just have this overwhelming urge to sob my heart out.

I wonder where that comes from? I feel very hollow and empty. I have no oomph. I’m listless.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the tears stayed in but they have to come bubbling over when I try so hard to squeeze them in.

And yet the sun kept shining… while I sat under my heavy, dark cloud.

I had a reminder set on my phone to call the Doc for a repeat HRT prescription.

I called at 12.32pm. “I’m sorry but our prescription line is now closed” (course it bloody is!) “we are closed for lunch between 12.30 and 1.30, please try again later….” Does the prescription line not realise how much it took for me to actually remember to call them in the first place?!?! Course it doesn’t.

I’ve arrange Kinesiology for tomorrow. For the first time since October. I am nipping this in the bud before it grows arms and legs.

This next one is amazing. So very true. Somedays I feel like I move mountains but today I’ve definitely crawled through it like a caterpillar…. Or a slug. Actually that’s it, I’ve slithered through the day like a big black slug. (In my head obviously 🙄)

I’m off out for a walk with Claire now. Be nice to see some early evening sun. It’s 7pm and still sunny which is lovely.

Tomorrow is a new day and I have survived 100% of the bad days so far.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I didn’t sleep well last night. Well that’s not true really, I did, but I only got about 6 hours so I’ve been tired today. It’s 4.30pm now and I’m toying with the idea of going for a nap but it feels a bit late in the day. Can you hear how much overthinking there is in only in my first sentence?!

I’ve had a lovely wee shopping trip with mum today.

I left at 8.45am this morning and met Mum at 10am at Livingston Designer Outlet. I realised on my way home that we never got a quick pic together!!

I did have a wee photo shoot in M&S… as you do!

Loved the jeans and sweatshirt combo but not made of money just now and this would have set me back about £60.

Was really drawn to this colour of trouser….. I’ve never been able wear a Chino funnily enough. It would appear I’m still not cut out for a Chino 😂

Now everything I tried on today was a size 14 or less…. I am so chuffed with that. It’s been a long time coming. These chinos, however, cut me in half!! I tried on some 14 cargo trousers that were hanging off me.

And finally these cargo shorts! Now these were the comfiest shorts I have ever worn. Again £30 which seemed a bit steep…. But soooooo soft!

Not actually certain that they did much for me to be honest.

Then back to me!

We had a Starbucks late morning and stopped in at Krispy Kreme for a cuppa and a doughnut. Check how cute these are!

That’s a rabbit’s bottom as it burrows a hole into the ground! It was called a Burrowing Bunny 🐰😆 there was chocolate fondant inside.

I also picked up a couple of T-shirts in Primark.…. They are a lovely shape and SIZE XS …….. that’s EXTRA SMALL…….. 🥰😍🥰😍 as Mum said they must be very big made. 😳🫢😬

Remind me never to put my hands in my pockets for photos again… 🫣

I just loved the cheery colour of the next one. It’s actually pretty close to the best top I was wearing. Also it says Cali! After our Calaidh puppa. (Obviously not but I liked that too.)

I also got a lovely rain proof knee length jacket from Primark, that I forgot to get photos of. It was a SMALL!!!!! Again, yes, big made…… 🙄 but I cannot tell you how lovely it is to not have to search through the L and XL and XXL for once. All this fasting is really paying off.

I’ve just had the loveliest and simple Sunday night tea. Fried egg on sourdough. So tasty!

I’ve totally missed the fact that it’s April already.

I saw quite a few April Fools that I thought I would share with you. The first from the Scottish Dog Behaviourist…. Obviously 😂🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🐶

A few funnies to end with. Hope you all have a great week!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Boom…. My day in one sentence. I slept really well but woke to a barking pupper about 6am. Of course they went back to sleep.

I randomly started my day with a trip to IKEA! I was picking up new shelves for the Little gift shop, Beith store.

The delivery costs were so high that I offered to go and pick up the shelves in the van….. all macho like and zero concept that they may be heavy…… they were awfy heavy!!

This is where the fun began. 😆

The first box was heavy but easy enough…. The second was sooooo heavy. By the time I got to the fourth and last box I had to ask for help. I was knackered. 😆

I got back down to Beith by 10.30 and we had a busy morning in the shop. I was working with Lindsay today as Gayle was in Lochwinnoch.

Big shop news today is that Gayle is going back down to 2 shops and is letting Dalry go. Elaine, who’s been working there is going to take it on by herself. Exciting times! Also can’t wait to see the space we have in Beith with the new shelves. Could have stayed today , built them and filled them all up 😂😂 I know, I need to get out more.

Speaking of getting out I met my lovely friend, Shelagh, for coffee after work. We went to the new Lochshore coffee shop which was really lovely. We had scones with butter and jam.

It was so great to catch up. Those of you who’ve been with me from the early days, might remember Shelagh as the lovely lady I went to for Health Kinesiology. She’s not been well but just looked so bright and fresh today. She was like a breath of fresh air. It was so lovely to see her and catch up on our news.

The Lochshore hub has sprung up from nowhere. It’s great to have a wee coffee shop down next to Kilbirnie Loch. No photos dammit!

I met Gayle afterwards, at the Beith shop and we unloaded the shelving units. So much easier with her muscles as well!

Popped into the Co-op on the way home to get some food for dinner and spotted this jar of coffee…. £9.35 a jar. I swear I bought this for £3.99 in Home Bargains less than a year ago.

That photo makes it look in like a big jar but it was just the 200g jar…. The normal size. I am horrified at a jar of coffee can be £9.35. Again you can tell I don’t get out much! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I’ve had a lovely day but I’m tired now. Had wise all good though. Cam and relaxed.

I’m wrapped up in a crochet blanket with wee Freya right next to me.

Happy Saturday night!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️