Day 1091 a beautiful day while I sat under a black cloud ☁️☁️☁️ (there’s not even a black cloud emoji 🙄!)

It was a beautiful day today.

The sun has been shining all day but it’s been quite cold in the breeze. I chose today not to wear the long sleeved T-shirt. 🙄 I walked out to a frozen windscreen!

I’ve not felt great for the last few days.

I feel really sad. I’m fairly certain it’s hormonal as it’s been so irrational. There’s no real reason for it.

There are a few things that I’m “trying not to worry about”….. that says it all.

I spend so much of my time living in the moment but sometimes I’m whirled out of that.

I feel very off kilter. Out of balance.

I felt quite sad when I went to bed last night but fine. I was fine when I woke up, no real dread for the day ahead. Tired and couldn’t be bothered, but that was all.

By 8am the tears were burning in my eyes and the day didn’t get much better.

Anyone who spent more than 10 minutes with me today, got it! Sorry guys. I just have this overwhelming urge to sob my heart out.

I wonder where that comes from? I feel very hollow and empty. I have no oomph. I’m listless.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the tears stayed in but they have to come bubbling over when I try so hard to squeeze them in.

And yet the sun kept shining… while I sat under my heavy, dark cloud.

I had a reminder set on my phone to call the Doc for a repeat HRT prescription.

I called at 12.32pm. “I’m sorry but our prescription line is now closed” (course it bloody is!) “we are closed for lunch between 12.30 and 1.30, please try again later….” Does the prescription line not realise how much it took for me to actually remember to call them in the first place?!?! Course it doesn’t.

I’ve arrange Kinesiology for tomorrow. For the first time since October. I am nipping this in the bud before it grows arms and legs.

This next one is amazing. So very true. Somedays I feel like I move mountains but today I’ve definitely crawled through it like a caterpillar…. Or a slug. Actually that’s it, I’ve slithered through the day like a big black slug. (In my head obviously 🙄)

I’m off out for a walk with Claire now. Be nice to see some early evening sun. It’s 7pm and still sunny which is lovely.

Tomorrow is a new day and I have survived 100% of the bad days so far.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️