There are not enough hours in the day todayā¦. I am shattered and slept like a log last night but most importantly I am still as cool as a cucumber. š Long may it continue.
It was a STUNNING sunrise this morning.
That red vertical stripe was just out of this world. I drove to work trying to stop every few minutes for a photo.
I was bursting with gratitude this morning. For the things we take for granted. A warm bed and a great nightsā sleep. And then that sunrise. Wow.
My knee is feeling better after some rest so Iām going to try the exercise class in the village hall tonight. I can keep it low impact if I need to as we never localise on any one body part for longā¦ that sounds wrong but you know what I mean. š
So yeah Iām in a rush. Ended up having coffee with a customer just as I was leaving so was a bit late getting away.
Itās Hollys birthday next door so I popped up with her present. My gift giving anxiety is still very much a thing. Iām pleased with what I got for her this time but actually convinced myself she will hate itā¦ which is ridiculous. The stories my head tells meā¦
So Iāll leave this here now. I have dinner on for Craig and a washing that needs hung up and exercises to be doing!
Iāve not even had time to proof read so forgive any autocorrect doozies š
Letās stop hiding behind closed doors saying āpoor Mrs so-and-so has bother with her nervesā.
Thatās one of the main reasons for my blog. To talk about the things we donāt talk about. If I can help one person whoās struggling with their mental health, to realise they are not alone, then itās worth it.
If you have someone off sick from work just now, message themā¦ it might just make their day to know you are thinking of them.
Iāll keep banging that drum!!
We were very saddened today to hear about the passing of one of Craigās work colleagues.
He was super fit and healthy yet collapsed while out on a run.
Just a stark reminder of how short life is. What a shock to hear that today.
I didnāt go to the Farm this morning. My kneeās still sore and it was lovely to have the wee extra lie in.
Iām still very calm and relaxed and loving the lack or reaction to things. Long may this continue š¬š
Itās funny how some days a simple thing can light the blue touch paper and yet other days thereās just nothing. I do feel tired after a busy weekend so looking forward to a quiet night tonight with some Biofreeze on my knee and maybe some foam rolling of the old leg musclesā¦. Just saying that makes me cringe. I hate foam rolling when I most need it šš
Iāve been super healthy today and really need to make more effort to stop shovelling junk again. I donāt think that helps my knee at all.
We are very careful about what we feed our dogs and put a lot of research into that, to keep them healthy.ā¦ yet just eat anything we can get our hands on.
I should say that Craig has a code for free Butternut Box for dogs if anyone is interested in trying it? Weāve fed our dogs this for years and itās greatā¦. Maybe I should eat some of that?!? šš
ButternutBox.com/Pawsitive
Theyāre worth a look. They get a great nutritional rating. While I just eat carbs and sugar and more carbs and sugar. Iām not giving my body a chance.
So Iām back on itā¦. Counting down the days in my 49th yearā¦. š±š±š±
This next one stuck at my heart strings ā„ļøš
I made cauliflower cheese for dinner todayā¦ cauliflower and leek cheeseā¦. It was super tasty and I enjoyed making it rather than just opening a bag of crisps or some chocolate.
Letās stop hiding behind closed doors saying āpoor Mrs so-and-so has bother with her nervesā.
Thatās one of the main reasons for my blog. To talk about the things we donāt talk about. If I can help one person whoās struggling with their mental health, to realise they are not alone, then itās worth it.
If you have someone off sick from work just now, message themā¦ it might just make their day to know you are thinking of them.
Iāll keep banging that drum!!
We were very saddened today to hear about the passing of one of Craigās work colleagues.
He was super fit and healthy yet collapsed while out on a run.
Just a stark reminder of how short life is. What a shock to hear that today.
I didnāt go to the Farm this morning. My kneeās still sore and it was lovely to have the wee extra lie in.
Iām still very calm and relaxed and loving the lack or reaction to things. Long may this continue š¬š
Itās funny how some days a simple thing can light the blue touch paper and yet other days thereās just nothing. I do feel tired after a busy weekend so looking forward to a quiet night tonight with some Biofreeze on my knee and maybe some foam rolling of the old leg musclesā¦. Just saying that makes me cringe. I hate foam rolling when I most need it šš
Iāve been super healthy today and really need to make more effort to stop shovelling junk again. I donāt think that helps my knee at all.
We are very careful about what we feed our dogs and put a lot of research into that, to keep them healthy.ā¦ yet just eat anything we can get our hands on.
I should say that Craig has a code for free Butternut Box for dogs if anyone is interested in trying it? Weāve fed our dogs this for years and itās greatā¦. Maybe I should eat some of that?!? šš
ButternutBox.com/Pawsitive
Theyāre worth a look. They get a great nutritional rating. While I just eat carbs and sugar and more carbs and sugar. Iām not giving my body a chance.
So Iām back on itā¦. Counting down the days in my 49th yearā¦. š±š±š±
This next one stuck at my heart strings ā„ļøš
I made cauliflower cheese for dinner todayā¦ cauliflower and leek cheeseā¦. It was super tasty and I enjoyed making it rather than just opening a bag of crisps or some chocolate.
It was super windy this morning when I woke up at 7am. I was late in bed last night. We had a lovely afternoon and evening and Mum and Dadās and Iāve just realised we didnāt take one single photo!! Special family time together.
So back to this morning, I got the dogs up and outside early and I sat in the garden and watched the sky turn pink before sunrise. The photos look orangeā¦. Honestly this was very pink!
The ivy looks beautiful with the pink sky reflecting on it.
We sat out for a bit then I went back to bed for an hour or so. I couldnāt get back to sleep though. I did a Morrisons food shop on the app as I there.
As you do.
Food shop done without leaving the bed. We had a Ā£10 voucher if you spent over Ā£50 so that was a bonus!
I think I mentioned before but I use an app called āLucky Bitchā which allows you to log all the money and value that you receive in a month unexpectedly. The theory is that you focus I gain rather than lack of money. Iāll be adding that Ā£10 off the Morrisons shop as free food! Itās a great way to focus on the positives.
I took the dogs up the hill for a good run around. There are no photos of that either as I was updating to iOS 16. Check me leaving my phone at home.
The weather just continued to get worse and itās now driving rain and really dark outside.
I tried to eradicate some of the dog hair againā¦.. hoovered up as much as I could.
Iāve spent the day crocheting and then Craig and I popped into the pub next door for Steak Pie. The food shop doesnāt get delivered until 8pm tonight and I couldnāt be bothered heading out to the shops.
I also did a face mask! Sorry for the scare ššš
Thought that would give you all a laugh. š³šš
Iām now back in front of the fire all cooried in and donāt intend to move for the rest of the day. There are things that need doing but they will just have to wait.
Time flies when you keep busy and Iām not used to this. Iām enjoying it though and just need to remember to build in some time for me.
I hope you all have a great week!
I know this is a lot to ask but many of you know how special the little gift shop is. Iāve dragged so many of you too it. Well Gayle had already won The Best Independent Retailer in the Ayrshire Business Awards and now she is a finalist in the Scottish Business Awards. If you can spare a few minutes, please could your vote for the little gift shop in Beith.
Shameless plug overā¦. I hope you all have the best week. Remember weāve all got this and can take anything the week throws at us. There will always be those things that hit us from left fieldā¦. Itās how we react to them that counts. Says she who is great with adviceā¦ just doesnāt always take it. Weāve got this!!
I was awake at 5am but tried to sleep until 7. I didnāt drink enough yesterday so was really dehydrated and woke with a thumping headache.
Iāve also really hurt my right knee again. I reckon it has to be diet related as Iāve not been eating well and the lack of water yesterday must count for something. i also did walk a lot last night when I went to the shops.
I was out with the dogs for sunrise. Itās a beautiful morning.
Back home for coffee and a quick shower as I was working at the little gift shop this morning at 9.30am.
What a lovely busy morning we had. So much lovely chat. Itās really helping me get to know people that I recognise or know of but have never been introduced to.
It was super busy and at one point we even had a big queue! Gayle is a trained florist so her wrapping skills are second to none. I hope no-one asks me to wrap anythingā¦. Itāll be like a dogs breakfast being served up! š¤¦š»āāļøš¤·š»āāļøš
So I only worked until 12.30 and Craig picked me up from work in Abbie the camper van as his car was still in the garage. We drove down there to get it and itās still not fixed!! Picked it up, back to the house to get ready and I am stressed out my box. I knew I would be today as itās a lot to fit in to one day already without the car being stuck in the garage. Weāre on our way now but are going to be late. That never sits well with me but it is what it is.
Weāre heading to Penicuik for Dadās 70th. Weāre having a wee get together with mum and dad, my brother, sister in law and nephew. Our lovely neighbours have the con with the 3 hairy hounds. They are moulting just now and honestly the dog hair is EVERYWHERE!
My leg after dog walk!!!
I actually think Iām going to put the blog out now so that I donāt have one other thing to have to do today other than relax and enjoy time with family.
Iām not making the same mistake as yesterday where all my good blogging ideas flew out my ears before I came to write it. š
I have a FB page for The Rambling Sloth š¦„ where I have THE most positive newsfeed. On the days where I do pick up the phone before I do anything else, itās a great way to set your stall out for the day.
This next one is something f that Iāve been very aware of over the last few years on my healing journey. Thisā¦.
I used to be soooo judegy it almost consumed me. I used to criticise anyone who wasnāt like me, who did things differently, who dressed differently, spoke differently and of course those who did wrong in my eyes.
I love that I am able to see past this now. If someone hurts me, cuts me up on the road or doesnāt do as I might expect in a situation, I am very quick to think why this might have happened. Why did that person seem angryā¦. What factors in their life have led them to this moment? Is it me? Of course itās not. Itās the million things going on in their head today. The voices they hear inside of them making them angry.
Live and let live. I wish we could all be a bit more like this. The world might be a bit less judgey.
I should say here that I am not a saint. That someoneās direct anger to me will send me off in a rocket at times but thatās no longer my normal reaction and Iām proud of my ability to see past it.
We did not go to the Farm this morning. Iām tired.
I was working at the little gift shop today and it flew in! We had another really good dayā¦ thereās new scarf stock in this week that Iām just seeing and I love them all. I managed to price them up and love looking at them but not buy one š¬š it was not that easy š
Itās been such a strange weather day today. We had hailstones when we dropped Craigās car off at the garage this morning and then when I went to work the sun was warm against the blue sky.
After work I headed up to Braehead Shopping Centre and itās half 8 now and I just sat down! I am shattered!!
Iām trying to buy birthday presents and post being off sick for so long and covid lockdowns, I have no clue what to get anyone! I dither around the shops. I talk to myself (š³) I suffer a bit of anxiety. The shops are busy, there are lots of people all buying lots of stuff. I have waves of dizziness. That could be a lack of food and water todayā¦ š¬
Iām being so careful with money these days that I found it difficult seeing so many people shopping. There were loads of people with loads of bags. Iāve never been shopping on a Friday night before so maybe itās always this busy but I felt like an outsider in a different world. I used to LIVE in shopping centresā¦. Funny how things change when you have a different focus in life.
The sky is stunning when I leave. The moon is huge but disappears behind the cloud when I try to take a photo.
I love this next one. It reminds how much there is to be grateful for in the world. I see beauty everywhere I look. Wow.
Anyway, Iām sooooo tired. Looking forward to a good sleep before work in the morning and Dadā 70th family get together.
I slept ALL night last nightā¦. I didnāt wake up once and just woke up with the 6.30am alarm. Such a great feeling. A long nights sleep. ā„ļø
I bounded out of bed like Heidi the mountain goatā¦. Not š¤¦š»āāļøš
Itās so dark in the mornings here now and the weather has been atrocious today. Torrential rain on and off all day.
I had a layer of damp over me all day. (just had to go outside for wood for the fire and got wet again!)
I got my toes done after work today. A lovely autumnal dark winey red. I miss my bright orange summery colour but this one will do just fine.
Iāve come home from work and got into my jammies, put the fire on and have my feet up. All cosy and lovely to be home on this wild evening.
Thereās no really crazy mood issue for me this week which is great. I am calm.
Though I am really struggling to find the right words to say just now though. Even writing this feels like Iām pulling teeth. I thought of loads of things to write about during the day and yet none of them are flowing freely tonight. I just canāt think of the words when Iām half way through a sentence. š¤¦š»āāļøš¤·š»āāļø
Iāll leave you with someone elseās wise words and get back to my crochet! Loving it just now.
The alarm went off at 4.45am. I scan my body and mind. Iāve been awake since 3.21amā¦..
Iām tired. I settle back down, I not going to the Fit Body Farm this morning. I need to restā¦.
Then Craig comes back to the bedroom and realises Iām still in bedā¦ā¦ I sense the hesitation in his stance. He wants to stay home tooā¦. Heās thinking about cancelling. I literally bound out of bed and thatās meā¦. Off to the Farm! Out the door in under 10 minutes!!
The class was really good and I enjoyed itā¦ so glad I wentā¦..despite getting my thumb stuck between two kettlebellsā¦. šš»āāļøš¤·š»āāļøš¬
It rained on and off all day today again. It didnāt seem as torrential as yesterday but it still didnāt stop for long. Itās dark most of the dayā¦. Iām so not ready for winter. I want my flip flops back.
So thereās nothing to report from today really. Clear headā¦. Not a lot of words coming out in the correct order thoughā¦. I know what I mean but I say something completely different. The main thing is that I know what I mean. š
Craig made dinner again tonight. Lovely to come home and not have to cookā¦. Iāve just been next door to the pub for the Wednesday Crochet Hookers. Only 3 of us tonight and the time passed really quickly as Iām actually crocheting again and have a purpose.
Iāll take some more photos of it at the weekend, in the daylight. Iām shattered now so planning a very early night.
I love this next oneā¦. The Farm are encouraging us all to consider random acts of kindness during the month of October. I thought it would be a lovely idea to suggest to you all.
Itās been pouring with rain all day today, it hardly stopped. Itās grey, dull and drearyā¦. This was my view on the way to the toilet today š¬š.
At least the Tartan Camper vans are bright and cheery. This is Lockie. Lockie is up for sale if anyoneā interested š¤·š»āāļøš hey a girl can try eh?!?
Iāve had another good day at work todayā¦. Heavily spreadsheet based both yesterday and today, gotta love it! The hours pass quickly.
I got a call at 4pm today from the company that we have life insuranceā¦. Looking to help us reduce our payment in these difficult times. The guy was so lovely and reckoned we were overpaying so fingers crossed we might save a wee bit on our monthly payments. Heās calling back again tomorrow after Iāve got some of the info he was looking for. There are some who might think heās trying to sell us something but Iām going with the premise that he IS trying to save us money.
Iāve just been over to the village hall for my new exercise class. It was really good again tonight. The girl who takes it is just so smiley! You canāt help grinning from ear to ear all the way through.
So Iām struggling to write any more tonight as the dogs seems obsessed with me tonightā¦.. I canāt get a minuteās peace.
The minute I wrote that, all 3 of them have disappearedā¦. Typical. š
I had to hoover when I came home from work tonight as their hair is everywhere!!!
This is what Bhruic does AFTER the hooveringā¦.. you canāt win eh?!
I didnāt feel great when I woke at 2.41am this morningā¦. Even less great when Craigās alarm went off at 4.45am.
I didnāt want to go to the Farm this morning at all, but I booked at the last minute and went as I knew it would do me good.
It was a great class with 20 seconds effort and 10 seconds rest the whole time so it was pretty constant and I was a happier but sweaty mess by the end of it!
Work flew in today. I was focussed, clear headed and in control. I honestly just never know what Iām gonna get from one day to the next. This was a good one.
Even Peanut, The Tartan Dog, š had a good day and was out for the count when I turned round. He wonāt sleep in his bed but right behind my seatā¦. Bless.
I went to Home Bargains after work for some emergency suppliesā¦.. toilet roll and snacks š¬ and now Iām home.
Had 3rd day amazing lasagne for dinner and Iām now sitting on the couch with my feet up about to start crocheting. Iām tired tonight but itās a good tired.
Iāve been listening to Davina McCallās book Menopausingā¦ā¦. Iām only on chapter one but wowā¦ very interesting. Could it be that all of this may be peri-menopause? Even in the early stage of this book, the women that have written to her sound just like me. Iām enjoying listening to it. She explains things well and if this is not what is yet then it will help me to know what may come. Itās good to keep my mind occupied and Iām learning as I go.
Ok Iām off to crochet and watch a cheesy movie to let my mind rest.
Today could have so easily gone one of two ways. I felt very shaky this morning. Hanging by a thread, trying to keep it together. Trying to be normal, trying to focus on the positives. Trying to be grateful for all that I have. Craig says I should tell him when I feel bad but I didnāt own up to it today (like he canāt guess š³š¬) and I find it makes things a bit better for us both if I can find the strength to turn it around.
I feel like the minute I have a good day something comes along and whaps me between the eyes. Just when you think youāve got it all together the universe will shows me that itās not done with me yet.
I woke up yesterday morning full of the joys of autumn (ok I know thatās not quite the saying) ā¦ took the dogs out and got into an altercation with a dog that ran up to us not on a lead. None of it my fault but hey, you know me, adrenaline had me buzzing for about 20 minutes after itā¦. Almost in tears, shakingā¦..
Come home and try to relax. Then find out we have some other financial commitment over the next few months that we werenāt expecting. COME ON, GIMME (us) A BREAK!
I had a relaxing and thoughtful afternoon, trying to be present in the moment as worrying doesnāt change anything. I watched Meet Joe Black on Netflix and I howled!!!!! Proper sobbedā¦ā¦ it wasnāt just about Meet Joe Black. That film pandered to my ālife is short, live it to the maxā fearā¦.. maybe not the best choice.
At least I slept well. Almost 10 hours.
So back to this morning, Iām shaky. The whole day stretches in front of me with no plans. A dream for so many of us, yet fraught with danger for me. What to do for the best. I need to rest but I need to not be bored and I need to get āstuffā done.
I start to potter after my bacon roll. I clean things that havenāt been cleaned for a while and it feels good. It helps clear my head. The porcelain white kitchen sink is gleaming.
Itās actually a really nice day outside. We open the windows, I sit and have a coffee, feel that wobble come back, get back up and get on with some more cleaning. I start throwing stuff out that we no longer use. It feels good.
Craigās been down in the big shed most of the day clearing it out so weāve both made the best of the day.
I have actually recorded my mood, for the last few days, in the Balance menopause app. One of my lovely friends recommended I start recording it just to see if thereās any pattern to it. Watch this space.
Check this pairā¦. The two headed dog!
I sat outside and crocheted at one point and despite being Scotland on the 2nd October, it was actually very warm.
Iāve joined the first row of my new blanket and Iām really pleased with it. Itās a new stitch (for me) that raises the join between the colours. It makes me smile as it starts to come together.
So yeah, a good day but I definitely had to work at it. I could so easily have slipped into self pity and wallow mode.
Craig made a lasagne yesterday and itās honestly the best one heās ever made. Weāre having that for dinner again tonight. Itās in the oven just now and my mouth is watering.
These are difficult times for us all just now. Itās hard not to look at others and compare. At least tomorrow, I know I head to a job without aggression, without management by fear and I havenāt spent all weekend dreading it. Thatās something to be very grateful for.
So I hope you all have a great week ahead. Just take each moment as it comes. Nothing more, nothing less. Be present in the moment.
Oh and try not to cry when you least expect it. That always helps.
I was awake before 6am this morning and tried to sleep but finally took the dogs out at 7am. Itās another wet and slightly windy day but I was lucky not to get totally soaked!
I love this next picture. Growing despite adversity.
There was a red sky this morning. I took a photo of this Garnock Valley painted bench, these are dotted around the valley to boost mental health.
The rain was torrential just before I left for work. Absolutely stotting downā¦. Bouncing back up to meet itself coming down. Thankfully it stopped before I had to leave. So lucky!
I took some photos of the inside of the little gift shop before customers came in this morning. Itās such a lovely, positive place to be. š
We were busy, the customers were pretty constant. Me being there let Gayle sort out the back shop in time for a big delivery on Monday, and I kept the shop going. There was a constant stream of customers so it was the best way for me to learn!
It boosted my confidence in a big way. I had to run to ask her quite a few questions but it was the best way to do it.
I met some lovely people and had some great chats. Met a lady who has crocheted the most stunning things. I had huge crochet envy!!! Her work is stunning.
It was a quick morning!
My desk on a Friday and Saturday!
I got home at half one and wheeched around the house with the hoover as Craig had Kenny from next door coming round to watch the football and he was still not home from work. The dogs are moulting and there is dog hair everywhere. I emptied the hoover 3 times!
So I spent the rest of the afternoon crochetingā¦. Of course I did! Practice makes perfect.
I working on joining my next blanket. That will take me some amount of time!!
The Rambling Sloth š¦„ 