So from day trips on paddle steamers to a good old “let’s get talking about the menopause”….. you just never know what you’re going to get when you tune in, do you?!?

I’ve been wanting to write about this for weeks now and yet I’ve been reluctant to speak up about it. Even now I’m cringing but I’m going to do this.

I have so many wonderful female family members and friends that will have already gone through the menopause and never cracked a light about it. We are not taught about it in schools yet some women are walloped in the face with some pretty life changing symptoms. The women I know all just seemed to get “on with it”.

We all know that the menopause starts when your periods stop and people get hot flushes and for most of us, I’d say that’s about all we know.

That is certainly all I ever knew.

My mum, Gran and Aunties sailed through menopause just like I did on the Waverley on Sunday. 😉🤭 Neither up nor down, just taking it all in their stride….. as far as I know…. Or did they?!? No-one really talks about it….

There are many menopause warriors out there now, banging the drum for menopause to be talked about and understood. For all you men reading this, you will likely have a significant other who will experience symptoms or a mum, gran or auntie…. So don’t be thinking it doesn’t relate to you. 😉😆

For all my lovely post menopausal family and friends who made it through the other side without a blip…. Or for all of you who suffered in silence. I salute you.

I am going to shout about this loud and, well if I’m quite honest, not very proud at the moment as I’m dealing with the early stages of learning… and feeling nervous about talking about it….. but I know I will be very proud soon once I take it into my comfort zone.

I stumbled across Davina McCall’s book Menopausing the other week, I may have mentioned.

I had Audible credits that I wanted to use up before I cancelled Audible (cost cutting exercise… saves £7.99 a month!) and I hurriedly downloaded 5 audio books suggested for me… this being one of them.

I started to listen on my drives to and from work.

Oh my word. (Keeping it clean here…)

All of sudden I am listening to women who have gone through a similar journey to me in the last 4 years…..

Women with a career who literally fall apart…. Hullo…. Moi?! ✅

Women who can’t stop crying in the work place. ✅

Women who try to hide themselves away from the world. ✅

Women who become anxious at everything in life. ✅

Women who take irritability and rage to the next level for no real reason. ✅

Women who are terrified that they had become a burden and think the world will be better off without them ✅

Women who are prescribed medication for anxiety and anti-depressants for depression ✅

Women who then feel suicidal when the medication doesn’t seem to be working ✅

Women who lose their high powered jobs under a cloud with no thanks or presentations for their long service with the company ✅

These women drop out of the rat race and are left to fight for their mental health every step of the way when they are at their lowest ebb. ✅

So… the relief to hear all of this is immense as I realise that I am not alone.

Davina makes that very clear. I am not alone.

56% of women drop out of the workplace due to menopausal symptoms. Think how much experience and knowledge the world is missing out on if 56% of women are overwhelmed by their symptoms and don’t get enough support to carry on.

So in the meantime, I’ve asked Craig to get me her actual book for my birthday… bang goes the cost cutting exercise there but I need a physical copy. 😆

I asked him last week if he’d bought it yet because if he hadn’t, I was going to. I didn’t want to wait. I needed the copy to re-read sections I couldn’t remember. It arrived by Amazon that actual day…. And now I have it. 🤭

I think this could be the reason for my calm mood for the last few weeks. I finally click that there may be fundamentally nothing wrong with me…. And yes…. Because Davina told me and not because I have actually come to that conclusion myself yet.

I still have a way to go with not feeling like I failed in life. There are some lovely female senior managers in my last work that are still going strong and sail through the day to day…. Therefore I must be weak because I didn’t.

Davina says no. Stop that thinking straight away.

Ok….. I will try.

Also if there is a chance that all of this was because I am perimenopausal then I have to say I am a little bit angry that there was no support for me.

I was brushed away under the carpet with shame.

From what I have gleaned over the last few weeks, there is a very good chance the HRT will resolve the majority of the issues I have faced. Replacing natural hormones in my body with body identical hormones. The balance app explains it way better than I ever could….

Who knew. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Women have never lived this long so it’s only fair that we have some help in doing it if we are struggling. We should not be ashamed (still dealing with that one…) and we should not have to “just get on with it”.

Replacing hormones has given so many women their life back.

We don’t have to hide and be invisible any more. Half the world’s population go through menopause. It is not something to be ashamed of or whispered.

I knew I was going to write about this today…. Then I had a customer in this morning who started talking about menopause and basically told me everything that I have now written about. Another amazing manifestation.

So I phoned the doctor. I ate that frog.

My surgery is now running same day appointments and there’s no space left today so I have to call at 8am and make sure I get one of the female doctors who will be able to discuss HRT.

Oh my god I actually did it so tomorrow will be easier….. I have listed my symptoms.

I am ready and armed with the information I need. I am doing this. (Unless of course I forget to call tomorrow because I am busy 😉😆🤦🏻‍♀️)

Strangely I now feel more exhausted than I have in a few weeks, I’m irritable and tired tonight. I’m going back to the Farm tomorrow and going to work around my knee if that makes sense. I’m missing tonight’s exercise class in the hall to rest. A very early night tonight I reckon for the 5am alarm tomorrow morning.

So yeah… I’m gonna post this now. Here goes.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️