Day 712 a day in the house….

What a miserable morning. It was torrential rain when I woke up. I could hear it.

So of course I got soaked on the dog walk!! Totally drenched.

I tried to get a photo of the rain but Bhru photobombed it.

That’s how heavy it was!!

The daffies are starting to come through…. Bhru photobombed that too!

There were 3 dogs on my walk…. Just one getting in the way!

This next photo almost shows a raindrop….. almost! I only took another 8 photos to try and get one of the rain dropping onto the wee puddle on top of this wall. It was fascinating to watch….

All the while I’m still getting soaked….. but the photo is way more important. Naturally!

I wore my painting clothes out to walk the dogs which was a big mistake. What are you meant to paint in when your painting clothes are soaking wet!?!? Nope… don’t go there! So I need to invent some new painting clothes and sharpish….

Just before I got started, I decided to work on the Memorial Hall accounts to try to figure out how much last nights fundraiser made.

I took an hour or so plodding through all the instalments but really enjoyed it. I reckon we’ve made over £1,000 for the Hall which is amazing. They all had such a great time at Bouncing Bingo. I can’t believe that 80 odd folk left at midnight last night, right outside my front door…. and I slept through it!!! I’ve been shattered this week.

So I finally started painting the kitchen doors…. Couldn’t really be bothered with it much. I’d had a good morning though so it was time for the chores….

And that’s exactly where my mood take a downturn.

I don’t enjoy the painting. I see everything else around about me not being right. I see dog hair in the floor, I see dirty marks on some of my freshly painted cupboards, I see the dishwasher needing a good clean. The dogs fly past as I paint, I see dirty floor tiles, I see a messy kitchen and I start to get angry.

I’m angry that I have so much to do and it feels like a burden. I’m angry because I stand between the mess and it being back to my perfectionist standards. I’m angry that my painting is not what it should be and I’m slap dashing it about. If I want it fixed, I only need to do it…. To get it done…. but I don’t want to.

So I start washing the brushes and decide to start cleaning up instead…. The hoover won’t sook up properly. It’s a Shark for animals except it only works if you have one hamster and not 3 Border Collies.

I get angry at the hoover, I start poking and prodding it but can’t clear the blockage. I decide to take it all apart and wash it out. You should do that quite often and I really don’t do it enough. So now it’s all wet and may still be blocked buy hey… I couldn’t hoover anymore.

So then I go to bed. I decide maybe I’m just tired and that’s where I need to be. I try to sleep… I’ve left the dogs in the other room. Calaidh barks and keeps waking me up. I come through and scream blue murder until she stops. I’d also left my phone volume on and it binged and bonged what felt like a million times and eventually I woke up enough to be angry at that too.

I then sat to watch Sweet Magnolias and that started buffering. I mean COME ON!!!!!

So I’ve had one of those days… but once again entirely manufactured by my own head. I really thought I had the morning sussed…. Then I paddy whacked all the way through the afternoon… like a spoiled kid.

I didn’t want to write the blog tonight as I read what I’m writing and get angry at myself. Why do I overthink everything. Overreact at nothing. I visualise you all reading this rolling your eyes thinking “here she goes again….”.

The anger has all gone after writing about it. Guess that’s the whole point of speaking my truth. Also everything seems a lot calmer as evening comes. It’s never as bleak as it seems midday when there is still time….. time to do “stuff”.

I guess you can’t always be 100% all of the time and tomorrow is another day.