I wrote most of this last night which is just as well as I feel I’ve been wiped out today…..

On Friday 20th March 2020 the UK Government announced that all pubs, restaurants, gyms and other social venues were to close and here in Scotland we entered our first COVID-19 lockdown.

None of us knew what to expect, none of us knew what was coming. We were all pretty apprehensive but I also remember being caught up in the drama of something that big happening in our crazy, busy world.

I had just been made redundant on 28th February 2020…. Or indeed my position was made redundant, certainly not helped by the fact I had been off sick with anxiety and depression since Monday 3rd September 2018… (5 months of that spent back at work trying to get back into it but that’s another story).

What are the chances I test positive for COVID exactly 2 years to that date?!? I have just figured that out! Two years spent taking so many precautions, masks, hand gel, hand washing and avoiding it like the plague. (At least that’s saying makes relevant sense in our lifetime!)

I’m so caught up in the actual catching it part that I hadn’t realised the significance of the date.

2 years ago our local Beith Townhouse asked people to keep a record of our lives during covid times…. I also knew the benefits of journaling for mental health and I was keen to put “pen” to “paper”…. not sure that saying stands the rest of time. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

So here I am…. I’ve written this blog almost every day now for almost 2 years. I’ve been on the most amazing journey through some extreme sadness but also some of the happiest times finding me again.

But this is mostly me today….

My version of COVID seems to be nothing compared to so many millions of people in the world. It’s a bad head cold with loss of taste and smell.

The cold is even moving on today. I have tiny snippets of taste and smell. I’m just shattered.

Craig bought me real velvety tissues yesterday… luxury and some Vicks Vaporub. I couldn’t even remotely smell it yet this morning I got a teeny glimpse of a whiff! (Is that even English?!)

Today has gone soooooo fast. It feels like seconds ago since I woke up.

I slept really well last night, I woke a few times but rolled straight back over. I feel an exhaustion that is difficult to wake up from.

I met Craigie out in the garden for coffee and bacon rolls, could smell the bacon cooking but couldn’t taste it. Our lovely morning rendezvous. I can’t believe how much I miss him. Never happy some folks eh?!

We’re conducting this strange merry dance around the house just now. We sat out until 8pm last night when he came home from work just so we could have some company. I was wrapped in a big blanket to keep me warm. We both got cold and had to say Goodnight and scurry back into our respective “cells”… and please as I write about this, don’t think for one minute that I don’t know how lucky we are and how much worse it could be. That’s on my mind all the time when I’m feeling sad about it.

I’m struggling being confined to one room and the garden. I’m tearful, sad and feel extremely vulnerable. I’m almost disappointed when he tests negative again this morning as we have to continue with this isolation. That’s awful isn’t it.

I had my first shower today and had to clean the bathroom behind me. It felt so good to be fresh and clean but I was knackered after that.

So today my work ran my laptop and phone up to the house. It didn’t arrive until about 10.30 and I’ve been trying to focus on work ever since. I feel confused in my thoughts and struggle to think straight but hey…. This is our busiest week of the year so far and they need my help. I can’t remember anything about last week at all at the moment let alone what we’re trying to achieve this week.

I’m trying to balance the laptop on my knee in Gran’s recliner chair while the dogs bound about and bark when I’m on calls, then the door goes and I can’t answer that but the dogs do…. Then the phones ringing. By 3.30pm I had to lie down for a sleep.

Yesterday I made myself way too many rules…. I was only allowing myself to go from the bedroom to the toilet and out the office door to the garden.

It meant I didn’t really eat much yesterday so that was a bit daft. Today I’ve just had to use the shower, the kitchen and it is what it is.

So that’s another day in the life. I get to test in the morning and if I’m negative tomorrow and Thursday I can go back to the office Thursday. My father in law called on his way home from work and said his sister tested positive for 15 days…… 15 ?!? I must have the patience of a gnat as I’ve only been in isolation for 2 and a bit and I’m climbing the walls.

This makes me giggle as it totally sums up how I feel but… it could be so, so, so much worse.

Mum and Dad just suggested using Abbie the Campervan as a makeshift office… hmmm they might be on to something for tomorrow.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️