Ok so I started this at lunchā¦.
Iām listening to Fearne Cottonās Happy Place podcast again and sheās interviewing Tuppence Middleton the actress in the new ITV drama, Our House (which Iāve not seen yet..) and Downton Abbey.

They talk about craving solitude and not enjoying social occasions and it really resonates with me.
Itās not that I donāt like people, Iām usually spending time with people I love but itās the effort required for a social occasion thatās overwhelming for me. Ask me to dress up?!? Oh my actual wordā¦.. thatās the worst thing ever in my mind.

We have a village Bongo Bingo fundraiser, tomorrow night, for the village hall and I just canāt do it. Everyone whoās going will have such a blast⦠I know they will and yet I just canāt. I guess the not drinking makes it a bit harder. I canāt lose my inhibitions. And I have many!!! i have to carry them all around with me!

So itās nice to listen to something and hear them say that itās ok not to be the life and soul of the party. Hereās the podcast for you.
Iāve never liked it. I tried to pretend I did⦠pretend to myself that isā¦. But I know now that I never have.
When I was a kid and was a flower girl or bridesmaid I lasted for so long and then burst into tears, the attention always got too much for me.
Itās funny because I really thought I wanted to be in the centre of everything all of my life and yet actually the opposite is true. Itās nice to embrace the real me and accept me for who I am. Oh man come on⦠this is a moment! š¤£š¤£š¤£

So Iām very late today. Work was really busy again and it didnāt go my way at various times in the dayā¦. I felt like I was swimming in treacle. I just want it all to go to plan and be perfect and of course it never will do. I need to learn thatās ok too and just deal with it.
Then I drove to Silverburn to meet one of my oldest friends, Lea (sheās very young actually but been around and there for me for a LONG time!) for a cuppa and give her a birthday pres in time for her birthday next week.

We had such a good chat. It was so lovely to catch up and we had a good giggle too. It was the quickest 3 hours ever! Good for the soul.

Starbucks for dinner. Whatās not to love. Oh and I had caffeine tooā¦ā¦ uh oh. Buzzinā š¤£š¤£

So itās now 10pm and I have the 5am alarm set so I better try and sleep.
Wish me luck!
Stay safe everyone āļø āļøāļø