Day 715 feeling slothee need a coffee 🦥☕️

I woke at 5am and my resting heartbeat was up at 72…. I only know that as I consulted my FitBit Curve…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

It’s lunchtime and it’s now down at 60 so something is going my way… it didn’t feel like it first thing. My mind was like a tornado🌪 everything crashing around at once, dramatising, catastrophizing… that sounds like a made up word but it really sums up how it felt.

It was making me feel sick this morning, my stomach was churning. What a state to get into over nothing. It really is nothing. There isn’t even an IT….

I’m so tired of the energy it takes to fight the overthinking.

You might need your specs on to read that but it says it all.

I wish I could just “switch off”, “just stop overthinking”, “just stop worrying”, just stop.

Oh ok then… let me try…. 🤔🤨

If only it was that easy then surely I’d have thought of that.

I feel very vulnerable just now. Very small, very fragile. I’m not even watching the news at all so it’s not even that.

Anyway the main thing is that the anxiety zapped a few hours after I got into work and the practicalities took over.

I got plenty done again so I’m focussed enough which is good… and now I’m really shattered.

It’s funny as I started the blog at lunchtime today and when I read what I wrote, I think… it wasn’t that bad surely, I’ve even deleted some of it… but it’s obviously how I felt at the time.

The sunrise was spectacular this morning. I ran out to the garden to take these before my shower.

I left early to stop for fuel on the way…. £110 for 3/4 of a tank. 😳

That was enough of a shock to start the day!

When I came home from work I took Bhruic out for a walk. I’m trying some mother and middle pup bonding. She was good on the walk…. It’s so much easier to walk one of them rather than all 3 at once, to be fair, so I’ll try to do that more often.

For now I have my feet up, wrapped in a blanket in front of the fire and I will get an early night. If I can stay awake for a bit longer.

Tomorrow is a new day and I’m positive it will be better.

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜