I’m feeling reflective this lovely Sunday morning. Didn’t wake up until 6.38am which if no half bad for me. 🤦🏻♀️😆
My first thoughts turned to yesterday and as usual my Sunday morning FB feed gives me everything I needed to hear.
I often get asked how I find all the wee images and quotes I put in the blog. I have my FB feed set up to fill me with positivity now. No more trying to keep up with the Joneses… I don’t want what others have, I don’t see any feed that triggers me in any em way and if it does, it’s gone… so I digress…. This morning FB is the gift that keeps on giving.
Oh ok then…. New beginnings you say? Could this be the turning point in my daily blog where I actually realise that writing about my travels cheer people up rather than me my whinging when I have a bad day. (don’t worry I’ll always be honest and if it’s bad I’ll say as I have to speak my truth.
Well no-one can accuse me of not being real. You get it warts and all. 🤦🏻♀️🤣
Now that’s an interesting one. I felt very alone yesterday but I wasn’t lonely. I felt conspicuous, I felt awkward.
Well yes… Brené Brown…. That summed up exactly how I felt yesterday. Extremely awkward, like I was being watched, judged… the negative committee that meets inside my head had a 3 line whip for attendance yesterday and they were all waiting for me to fail, to embarrass myself. What if I blew a tyre, what if Abbie wouldn’t start, what if I drove off the ferry ramp (ok this one’s a stretch even for me) but you get the jist….
I have been bored by my lack of activity at weekends recently. Yet not enough to actually plan anything in case I am tired and need a nap. This weekend I’m pushing past the boredom and fear of tiredness. Yet so many times yesterday I panicked thinking how crazy my decision was.
There was a tiny spark yesterday that showed me how to change. I pretty much talked to myself all the way round the island.. you’ve got this girl… and despite it all… I did have it.
It’s ok to be me again….. strong words.
When I look back over the years, Uni, Business degree, Receptionist, Buyer, Senior Buyer, Account Manager, Contract Manager, Commercial Manager, Group Commercial Manager….. none of that was me.
I went to Uni as all my friends were going. I didn’t know what to do so I chose Business as my dad had worked his way up through the Bank of Scotland and Business seemed as good a degree as any. I couldn’t speak up as I didn’t have my own opinion at the time, just did what I thought people expected me to do. No more.
This makes me laugh a bit too hard. Functionally no different from a big leaf. 🤣🤣🤣
I’m always running to others to help me make sense and “fix” what I think are my problems. It feels like now is the time to start taking responsibility for them myself. No one else is going to change things for me, only me.
So that said… I’m off out into the freezing cold but beautifully sunny garden to tackle the weeds in my meadow garden.
There is not a cloud in the sky. (Zoom in to see the British Airways coming in to land in Glasgow!)
It’s really cold but weeding helps and soon I’m in a T-shirt…. It’s maybe not quite that warm but I’m determined. Remember the big leaf needs it’s sunlight to flourish! 🤣
I don’t last long…. Weeding that is…. My sudden burst of enthusiasm is taken over by a desire to sit and to just enough the warmth on my face. The dose of vitamin D. Plus there’s always an ball to be thrown!
I was then hit by the ball and the phone as I took this photo…
So I’ve pretty much given up and am sitting outside in the sun…. I realise this is Fool’s Spring and second winter will be here next week so I’m enjoying so relaxation time.
I have literally sat in the sun all morning…. I finally went in at 2pm to have my shower as we have party in the pub at 3pm.
We sat out on the beer garden when we first got there, it was lovely. At about 4.30 it turned chilly and we headed in for some lovely buffet! It was great to get a wee catch up with a lot of the neighbours.
We headed home after 6 to feed the dogs and are now sitting outside by the fire that we started earlier. We can hear the band playing in the background.
There are loads of birds tweeting and the moon is the tiniest sliver of white in the sky behind a very spooky tree!
Amen to that.
I’m so lucky to have tomorrow off work and it’s going to be another lovely cold but sunny day.
I’ve another wee day trip planned. The forecast is to be horrific again by Wednesday… that’s when second winter kicks in!
Stay safe everyone 🔥🔥🔥