I have been a busy bee 🐝 today! I’ve been in the spare bedroom office almost ALL day today and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

I have been focussed and structured and working through things that need doing.

I’ve made Pawsitive Solutions calls, worked on puppy training, had a concall with Lorna re going live next year, discussed advertising and when I’m going out to work. I’ve also done lots of work on the Gateside Hall paperwork, filing documents, updating documents AND I’ve updated the Abbie spreadsheet with the work that’s been done today. Full service history coming up.

Again if I could bottle this for the bad days I would.

This morning didn’t got to plan. I had 3 things at 3 different times, 1 didn’t answer, 1 didn’t appear and the other pushed out which was fine. THEN….. the garage phones to ask where my locking wheel nut was.

Well………. cue, anxious, angry, stressed and breathless Julie. I knew it was somewhere, the wheel nut not the angry Julie 🙄😆

I had to get a lift to the garage to turn the van upside down AND I had to go into mouse infected shed 3 times before I found it. The calm of having someone talk me through looking for it really helped.

Why do we get so angry with ourselves for things that don’t really matter. Why wasn’t it in the van, why didn’t I put it in there, where did I put it, where was the box it was in. I man who doesn’t keep their locking wheel nut in the glove box. How daft could I be???

Stop. Phone a friend. Realise it’s not the end of the world. Worst case the garage would cut the bolts off and give me non locking ones. I don’t even need the van just now so it could have waited.

But I found it. The meds I’m on are funny because they allow the anxiety (obviously not as bad as it would be) but there’s also no elation when I found it. Just a…. meh… there it is…. back to the garage. Nothing more nothing less.

Abbie the camper van started all by herself tonight. It was lovely to hear and not be driven insane by the squeaking of the heater motor.

The girls have been with me all day as Craig had Calaidh out at work.

It has been miserable outside and rained all day. One of those days that didn’t get light but stayed dark, wet and dreich all day.

So a good week this week and looking forward to a weekend with my boy. He’s been on his best behaviour all week (almost) so long may that continue…. 🙄😆

A few 2020 funnies to end with. Mostly from the lovely Tracey in Canada!

And finally…..

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s only just 3.30pm and it’s almost dark out there already. I have very little to say about today as I’ve actually done very little.

Dog walk, Pawsitive Solutions calls. Erm think that’s it. A good, productive day.

The end.

Nope I made that joke the other day, can’t do it again…. Abbie the camper is still in the garage but I will get her back at 1pm tomorrow. She has a new battery, new heater motor, the beeping with the right indicator has been cleared….. it was looking for a towbar?!?! She needs two rear tyres as they urnae even legal. 😱 who knew?!?! I should have….. 🤔😳🥴😬

The only thing still to be done is to fix the exhaust manifold but that’s a huge job so they are going to do it in January. We shall all pray then that they do it without damaging the turbo as that will cost out £800 to replace. 😩 it’s a risk that the turbo will be damaged.

Anyway she’s an old van so what needs done needs doing and it probably wouldn’t do her any harm to have a new turbo.

Now I must point out that what is about to come next is a new low in the object of my photography but it was such a beautiful shape I couldn’t resist. Shame it means someone has a huge leak as they were all over the road. Officially this was the prettiest…… yip….. 😬

So I’ve been reflecting on my FB memories this last week and they are all of me drinking. Every Christmas night out was about getting hammered, trying to be the centre of attention, sitting next to the cool folk and pinching folks drinks at a certain point in the night when every egged me on.

I woke up with so much shame and regret after these nights as I hated the hangover, hated the loss of control. Now that I look back I see that this version of me was all an act. I was never comfortable in big crowds, never felt like I belonged and was always trying to be someone I didn’t feel inside.

I’m so much more comfortable now. That said we can’t go anywhere now so maybe that will change but I don’t need to dress to impress with the killer heels. It’s enough just to be me and this is who I am. Maybe as a result of 2020 we will be able to wear comfies forever?!?!

COVID wise things seem really bad with a high number of deaths continuing.

It’s easy to become complacent about these figures are they seem to be happening to other people. 63,082 deaths is so very sad.

Stay safe everyone 😷😷😷

Another amazing out-for-the-count sleep last night. No midnight toilet trips 🙄😆

I decided to have a wee day out today as Abbie the camper goes into the garage tomorrow and……since we have a history of nothing ever taking one day… I thought I’d try and get last minute Christmas bits and bobs while I could.

I had to jump start her first thing…. obviously. I have stopped and started the van 7 times today. I managed to restart her with the turn of the key, a deep breath, a please God, please God and pump the accelerator every time….. until I stopped outside the front door to unload the shopping. Nada…. not even a wee “cough” from the engine. Guess I can’t complain but it’s funny how the starting has become such a ritual.

I headed down to the charity shop with some Christmas decorations and other bags. They can’t touch anything for 3 days to ensure any COVID-19 traces are gone, so I told them specifically that the Christmas bag was full of Christmas stuff just so they knew to empty that one faster.

Then went to my friend Gayle’s shop. The little gift shop in Beith is the best!

I should mention too that “she who is not Christmassy” is wearing a sparkly reindeer jumper hence the reason for the photo. Yet you can’t see any of it. Gayle’s shop is amazing (as most of you will know as I talk about it lots!) but even she has a sanitisation stand at the door, a one way system and only 3 customers allowed in at any one time. Folk have got used to learning to queue outside shops rather than barging in.

Was lovely to get a good catch up and have a wee shop. Got lots of wee bits and bobs for people today.

Then headed round to see my favourite 80 year old. She was almost in tears when I arrived as she’d just had a Christmas gift delivered by the Beith Trust from Garnock Valley Youth. She was over the moon with it and so excited to show me what she had. she said there is lots of information in the parcel about looking after herself too and she seemed really touched by that. I love how “old school” she is…. if she calls my mobile and I can’t answer, she’s fine with that as she just assumes I was out….. bless. Craig phoned today while I was there to say he was home for lunch and she wanted me to head up the road so I could make my man’s lunch. I just smiled sweetly while inwardly laughing and thinking eh naw…. 😆

So back up the road specifically to watch him make him own lunch and then I headed down to Irvine Tesco.

My observations today…. it still amazes me that this time last year no one would ever have worn a mask. Everyone you see is donning their masks as they walk across the car park and into the store. Everyone uses hand sanitiser before you go in and most people were wiping down the trolleys. The shop is no longer directional but there are floor signs everywhere to keep a 2m distance. Not many people do anymore.

The clothes for Christmas wee jaw dropping. Pretty much everything on sale were what I would class as comfies. Jeans and jumpers, joggies and hoodies… the emphasis is on comfort as no one can go out and everything is closed. There were about 3 sparkly tops and that was it. Comfort is the fashion for our first COVID-19 Christmas! Actually as I write that…. I do need to remember is was in a Tesco Extra in Irvine, North Ayrshire rather than the designer shops in London but there was comfort everywhere!! My kind of clothes store.

Driving home through school closing time is as busy as rush hour gets these days.

If you stop to think about things for any length of time we realise just how strange our world has become.

We never had to think about touching anything. We could hug and kiss people without the threat of any virus. These are very strange times but hey…. you all know that just as well as me.

In an effort to remain positive as I try to be as often as possible…. yay to comfy clothes in shops!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

If I could bottle this feeling up I sooooo would and use it at the more difficult times. It’s such a wonderful and freeing feeling to be relaxed, calm, focussed and organised.

I had the most amazing sleep last night, out for the count all night…. no head whirring, no getting up to the loo. Just fast asleep. Wonderful to wake up to.

That’s reminded me of a very funny story that I “forgot” to share yesterday….. Sunday night when I was up and down like a yo-yo for the loo….. the first time I got up. The seat was down. 😳l

Midnight bathroom clean. Moving on swiftly…. 🙄

Took the dogs down to Gielsland estate and got a photo of the old house. The dogs stuck their tongues out!!!

Met a good few villagers out walking this morning which was lovely as we don’t get to meet up much these covid days.

The rest of the day was taking up with puppy training. We’re doing an online training course for trainers and covered a good few modules this afternoon. Time well spent.

I had planned a food shop this afternoon so didn’t get to Tesco until after 5.

Of course I had to jump start Abbie before I could go anywhere….. I got into Tesco and started having a wander round when I realised I didn’t have my phone with me. I needed it for the Tesco club card which would save me a fortune on the new club card rules where loads of stuff is half price.

And this is where it all went wrong. It’s not as dramatic as it sounds and it can be quite funny but I was all over the place. Couldn’t find it in the van so started retracing my steps… back into the store… nothing. Asked if it had been handed in. The girl called it and it rang but not on me….. back out to the van, retracing my steps again, all over the car park….. turned the van upside down then remembered a loud noise on the way to Tesco. Something had fallen. Yep you guessed it, my phone. Under the seat.

Back into the store and thanked the girl but from that point on I was breathless, hot, sweaty and genuinely flummoxed.

I have come home with £100+ worth of the most random selection of food. There is NOTHING that goes with anything!

Luckily we’ve had a good laugh about it….. I ate the leftovers of last nights dinner instead of some of the random selection. Of nothing much!

The words were said “well that’s the last time you do the shopping!”

Ok then. Thank you. I gratefully resign.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

So yes, upon reflection I’ve had a calm, straightforward and successful day.

The end. 🤣

Playing in the field instead of a big walk has really helped my knee but not helped Calaidh’s hips. We were told by the vet a while back that it’s not good for her hip joints to be running after frisbees and balls and coming to a dead stop. So back to a walk tomorrow I think.

Had a call with the doctor about the pain in my knee. She’s sending me for an X-ray as apparently that needs doing before I would get a scan… not sure what the difference is but I know the X-ray will be clear. She did ask about my weight………….. was always going to happen. She did say I’d have to lose weight and think of my knees and my health carrying all that weight. Yeah ok… what weight are you hen?!?! 😆

Folded up all the dry washing in a huff afterwards went upstairs to the “office” to start my Pawsitive Solutions calls.

Booked 4 jobs today which is the most in a few weeks. Spoke to some lovely people and wasn’t on the phone for too long which is a good thing!

Managed to get all my Christmas cards written this afternoon, first time in about 3 years I’ve done cards. Still to be posted.

In an effort to stay healthy I made a low fat chickpea curry for dinner.

I’m quite alert and clear headed today and have enjoyed the functionality of it.

I’m sitting writing this on Grans chair with Bhruic and Freya at my feet. The wonky Christmas tree twinkling away in the background. It’s a part of the family now.

It’s been a good day.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

So this happened today….

Check out the teeny tiny Christmas tree!! The dogs are bigger than the tree…..

We can’t have a tree in the living room this year as we are getting the floors sanded on 23rd so we went for a a potted tree in the sunroom.

Craig was wood cutting with the village wood cutters this morning and they are just outside the Gateside Plant Centre. They only had one potted tree left and I’m not gonna lie… I walked into the room when he brought it home and thought that’s the most awful tree I’ve ever seen. But it’s grown on me….

So while Craig was chopping wood I took the dogs out for a play in the field. It’s really helping my knee not to walk long distances.

I decided to go to Largs for a coffee and a wee drive in the sun. I had to jump start Abbie and then sit for ages while everything defrosted. Not to self for when I’m working in winter…. leave the house an hour in advance!!

This afternoon has been all things festive decorating the tiny tree and deciding how much of our Christmas stuff to give to charity. A huge bag will be leaving tomorrow morning in the next clear out stage.

We have our reindeer head inside our small window. No one will see it apart from us as it’s at the back of the house but it looks lovely. 🦌

We’re now watching Christmas movies in an attempt to be festive. We do find we have to “try” to be festive in this house… but we are on it….

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎄🎄

Have read a few things recently that have got me thinking about Christmas approaching. Our first Christmas with this random virus that’s changed our world.

Now I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again…. Christmas lost its sparkle for me a good while back and it’s been something that I just had to get through for a good few years. That’s not that it wasn’t a lovely day but the thoughts inside my head were very negative and ate away at me while I smiled on the outside. Yet this year I am so much more relaxed knowing that I have no pressure on me to do things that I don’t want to do. As I write that, I appreciate how sad that might sound to some but it’s just where I am at the moment. The meds I’m on for depression stop the very negative thoughts but they also numb excitement for me and these days I can kinda take or leave anything. This year I have no pressure other than to buy gifts for family and friends and write cards to people to send a wee minding from our house to theirs and visit those nearest and dearest.

How would I have felt before? When I lived for the rat race and Christmas nights out were planned months in advance and we were counting down the days until time off work. How would I feel if that had been taken away from me by a virus?!?!? I have just realised how utterly sad and depressing this must feel to have had “normality” put on hold indefinitely.

I don’t know where I’m going with this but it’s just something that’s been mulling round in my head today.

Love this Christmas cushion too. Spotted it in a charity shop in Auchterarder last year. It was the “A VERY” that drew me too it!!!!

So it’s early and I’m going to put this out today as I’m tired. We have takeaway from the Gateside Inn tonight which is lovely. Craigs been back at work today and is feeling better. He’ll be knackered when he gets in.

I might just coorie in and have a nap.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

So yeah it’s 6.40pm and I haven’t really stopped all day. Well I have… I’ve just been asleep on the couch as the house is now so super cosy… but I’ll get to that.

I am very calm today. Calm and clear in my head which is always lovely. Up at 7, showered and house tidied in time for the heating engineer arriving at 8.30am. He was coming to service the Gateside Hall boiler but I asked him to look at our heating which hadn’t been working for about 3 weeks. 14.5 deg is very cold when it’s inside your house in autumn/winter.

He worked for a few hours replacing the pump and headed over to the hall for the boiler service. Our heating never warmed up so when he popped back to say he was away he had to go back up and see what was wrong. He said it must be an electrical fault so we had to call and electrician.

In the meantime we had a Pawsitive Solutions meeting where we all took some pretty big actions. Moving forward in the new year!

About 1.30 I headed down to Irvine to get my leather bag from Timpsons… yes the one that Calaidh chewed. I walked up to the store and the guy said “nope…. sold it!!” I love that attitude from folk as it makes me laugh!

I had a quick wonder around Irvine just because I’d driven that way… you understand how it is?!?

Back home and the electrician has been already!!!!!!!!! Didn’t charge us anything but fixed the electrical fault…. we had dinner at 4.30pm. Craig is finally feeling better and has eaten his first meal and it’s not been rejected…… 😳😬🤫🙄😷

We have started watching the Queens Gambit on Netflix and so have watched 3 episodes since dinner…. and I crashed out. The house is sooooo cosy and warm. It’s the first time I’ve fallen asleep on the new couch. Gutted I missed half of the last episode though!

So a busy and functional day doth not a beautiful and magical blog make…. but I feel calm. That’s such a wonderful feeling.

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

Ok so we’re not skiing or snowboarding but prepare for a squillion photos today.

Craig was up sharp this morning (turns out there’s a reason for that…) and shouted that there was snow as loads of people were posting pictures (as they do!) He was due to drive a long distance this morning to a park to meet a couple for some dog behavioural training. Usually when we have snow the main roads are fine.

Craig, however, is not fine, poor soul. It’s after 2 and he’s lying on the couch with a VERY dodgy tum and can’t eat anything. He’s a very pale shade of grey. I’m staying away. 😷

THE dog walk had to be split into 3 today due to the compacted ice everywhere. I’m not daft!

Had calls to make for Pawsitive Solutions so did them until after 12 then off out with Calaidh.

I came back and confirmed that Craig is still pretty grey and had another call to make them had our monthly tapping group. So lovely to see the ladies all together again. We worked on areas of pain in the body and what the discomfort was trying to tell us. That reminds me that I’ve had to book a doc appointment for my knee as it’s too sore now. However tapping told me that I don’t drink enough or nourish my body properly which won’t be helping.

Today’s blog was overtaken by snow. It was meant to be about my 700 days of sobriety!! So out of the last 703 days… I haven’t drunk alcohol for 700 of them!

And you know what. I am pretty damn proud of that. Way to go me!!!

Next to tackle… food. Sometime. Soon maybe. After Christmas. See what I did there?!?

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️

Wow as much as I love it… my windows look dreadful in the low sun today. Now I’m not gonna lie, life with 3 border collies does not for a clean window make…. that said. They don’t look anything like that bad until the sun shines. It only seems like a few weeks since I cleaned them. So I thought I’d write this. Concentrate on the blog and not in the windows. The sun will pass…. (it has already… windows back to acceptable standard).

I woke up really stiff in the middle of the night. Now I have to say…. ok guys… not that funny…. I can hear the sniggering now. Sore joints, clenched muscles etc. it could be the standing out in the cold yesterday or maybe a lack of water as I hardly drank anything yesterday. Needless to say I had a lovely wee lie in until the back of 9 and I’m a bit looser now. Not sure why I even started this paragraph…. 😬😆

I had a look on The Rambling Sloth Instagram and FB pages as they always give me a positive news feed so a good way to start the day. I stumbled on a Glennon Doyle clip that for some reason I was drawn to. I very rarely watch things on Instagram but this called me to open it.

She was answering a question that she most gets asked……. “how do you know if you’re a writer”……. I felt like she was talking just to me. Click the link below if you want to watch it. There are subtitles so you don’t need sound. Wow…..

How do I know if I’m a writer??

No let’s get this clear, I hated English at school and yet I love writing this blog. There are days where it’s tougher than others but I feel a real connection putting “pen to paper”…. funny how we still say that.

So food for thought. I have notes from all over the place during my journey and maybe how’s the time to go back and write it all up and see what comes out?! who knows?

The kitchen had been fully cleaned and tidied, the washing machine run on a clean the washing machine cycle and its time for a walk with the dogs. The weather is so changeable today it’s like a cold April!

While I remember… a major breakthrough today in terms of COVID-19.

As always I will tell the truth on here. I am scared of being vaccinated. What if they’ve got it wrong and mass vaccination 💉 gives us other huge issues? I am fairly certain I will get it when the finally get to my age group but it does gnaw away at me and this is the next thing that everyone is fighting about.

Regular readers (😂) might be aware of my recent low mood and this next one sums it up perfectly. I have Kinesiology booked for this afternoon so that I can lose some of the anger that’s building up inside me.

Anyway it’s now 8.30pm! I’ve had to have the van’s front tyres blown up before I went out today, then had to jump start it… went to the supermarket and then kinesiology.

It was amazing as ever. I went in like a raging storm and came out like a calm breeze. Life would be so easy if I could get myself into that relaxed state by myself but I still need help with it for now. Was lovely to be out in the real world for an appointment… almost like normal.

I got back home at 7 and Claire and I went for a walk around Beith to look at Christmas lights. Sadly it was pretty wet and hardly anyone has their lights up yet which was surprising. Was still lovely to have a good gab and a wander in the dark for a change!

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

It’s been a day and a half. I might resort to bullet points in the interests of brevity. I am super tired after a full on day but mood wise it’s all good. I’ve been too busy to think about anything else….. maybe a good thing?!

8.50am Abbie the wonderful camper van wouldn’t start. Lucky I got a jump starter kit for my birthday from Craig. Don’t even need another vehicle. Lucky Craigs in the house to show me how to work it.

9am Abbie is running and I’m off the morning puppy job in Ayr

10-1 puppy training with a gorgeous 14 wk Australian Labradoodle. Even got a cuddle.

1-3.30 Ayr to Irvine to drop my leather bag into Timpsons to get the strap stitched. (Calaidh chewed!) Grabbed a Costa but you can’t drink a takeaway in the shopping centre now as you’re wearing a mask. It’s cold by the time I get it then home.

Craig is leaving as soon as I get in so I head back out to the post office to post a jigsaw to mum and dad.

3.40pm-5.15pm driving home from the post office I saw a man on the ground who had fallen and there were a few women with him. I don’t know why I stopped but I think it was because I had the van. I thought I could help. I ended up being the only one with a phone so had to call 999 for the first time in my life. He had a bad gash above and below his eye and his glasses were annihilated which is a sign of how hard he fell. We waited for 55 minutes until a paramedic called and I had to allow him to access my phone camera so I could show the wounds. It was still bleeding really badly so the ambulance then arrived in about 10 minutes. He’s away to Crosshouse Hospital. He is going to have a sore one but it felt really good to be able to help. I went to move the van…. battery flat again. Had to use my new jump starter and do it all by myself. The ladies were impressed. So was I!

5.15-7.30 Pawsitive solution calls

7.30 HOUSE IS ONLY 14.5 DEGREES!!!!!!!!!!!! Started both fires without kindling. Running between the two to try and keep them going. Brought an electric fire in to the living room to help. Baked potatoes in the microwave then oven… extra heat!!

Now it’s nearly 9 and we’ve just eaten.

I might have a day off tmro….. 😬

In all honesty I’m good. Maybe busy is a good thing.

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️