Well, you may not be surprised to know that anxiety reared it’s ugly head this morning.
The plus side of that is that I identified a HUGE trigger…. Being completely out of control with what’s happening in my day.
So….. I will try to keep this brief but I may fail. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤣 my head loves a good drama you know…..
We were “meant” to be going away for a Hogmanay/New Years Day meet with the Overland Bound guys.
There were 10 vehicles attending when it was first mentioned and we booked GG & Belles campsite in Blairgowrie.
(This is the campsite with the fences around the pitch for the dogs to be off lead).
Sadly over the last week one by one people have dropped out for various reasons, COVID included. Yesterday when we were finally down to 2 or maybe 3 vehicles we decided to cancel it. The campsite were only opening up for us because we had asked and they were making some money off season. They were also selling us bags of wood that they were preparing.
So from yesterday lunchtime it was off…..
I cancelled my Thursday 7am at FBF and booked for Friday at 6am. I put my lists away, didn’t go food shopping, didn’t pack, nothing.
I woke up at 7am and lay in until 9. I was planning to go buy some new running trainers with my winnings from the FBF Transformation award… then lunch in Tiso’s in Glasgow. Lovely wee day.
Then the words…. “I was thinking we should just go…” we’re uttered….. and I think my head emptied, anxiety took over and had a rampage….. pretty much up until the minute we drove off…. At 1.20pm!!!!
So you can imagine my morning. I just couldn’t shake out of it at all. I was humphing and sighing and complaining and panicking and not thinking straight AT ALL. Generally causing havoc and making everything take so much longer than it should have. It’s almost as if I relish being in that moment again proving to myself that there’s something simple that I still can’t handle.
As soon as I sit in the van to drive off I am completely calm.
My trusty co pilot got this stunning pic of the River Tay while I drove.
Then we turn left and pass this…
It’s not as dramatic in winter but still very impressive when you drive under it.
In just over 2 hours we’re here!
We got set up really quickly and I got dinner on as Craig got the fire going.
Calaidh posed as I cooked!
Then her and Bhru feel asleep!
So we’re here now. My anxiety a distant memory. There’s barely a sound apart from the wood sizzling in the fire. I’m drinking a Clean Co Cuba Libre which is an alcoholic free rum. It’s really lovely though the Coke has caffeine so I could be partying into the night. 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣🤣
Enjoy your warm cosy bed tonight. We’ll be looking at the stars every time we need a wee. 😂😆😂😆
Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️