Wow what a grump. Everything is irritating me today and I mean everything….. I feel overwhelmed by mess in the house, stuff everywhere, things that “should” be done. I can feel my head frizzling with electricity almost.
When I typed that it said “drizzling” and to be fair it made the corners of my mouth turn up slightly… the closest thing to a smile.
So it’s 3pm and I’ve sat down. What is wrong and what’s causing it….. how do I shake myself out of it?? I write my daily rambles and hope the reason becomes clear.
I’m tired. Last night was a lovely party. It’s my sis-in-laws 40th, she looked stunning and had a great time.
It took a lot out of me. The whole getting ready etc, I was really looking forward to it so I think I’d already used a lot of energy up before I got there. 🤣
I wasn’t comfortable with what I was wearing….. I proudly wore my alcohol free badge…. Not literally of course 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤣 but despite me holding strong in my 997 days without alcohol under my belt…. I guess I feel a bit like a fish out of water….not sure why I feel so defined by the not drinking thing.
Now there’s a plethora of alcohol free choices (just wanted to used that word!) but I just didn’t seem to relax. I was on edge, worried about saying the wrong thing or embarrassing myself. I feel quite strongly about my decisions and seem to want everyone else to understand and feel it too. Its not a nice feeling…. Anxiety at its best.
I joined in lots of conversations but it didn’t come as naturally as it used to. Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t been to anything like that for about 3 years, maybe it’s COVID, maybe it’s the not drinking and maybe it’s just me “feeling” the situation after 43 days off anti-depressants.
That said I did see all the lovely people that I haven’t seen in a very long time and it was nice to get some big hugs. 🤗
Oh and there was lots of very tasty pizza, my mother in laws lasagne (which is amazing!) AND chocolate fountain!!!
It’s crazy. I feel so much better already… writing it down instead of letting it all rumble round.
You know what….. I did something different and my anxiety overreacted a bit. That simple.
Look a the lovely Ivy changing colour for autumn. It puts on a great show every day. How’s that for a change of subject?!?
So this morning was all about the dog walk. I took Freya and Bhruic out for a big walk first thing. We’re looking after Leo the Cockapoo today as our neighbours are at a wedding.
I took Calaidh and Leo out next.
They had lots of fun! So it’s 11.30 and all the dogs are walked but Craig had a great morning and moved loads of wood into the wood store, he picked potatoes and tidied up loads in the back garden. It’s good to come back home to see all that done.
The sky is really dramatic today. It’s forecast to pour with rain and yet it never comes.
So I’m trying to write the blog… but Leo wants cuddles!!
I’ve not had the best of days but I can honestly say that it’s all been in my own head and writing this has turned it around.
I’m still trying to focus on appreciating the present. I haven’t done that today. I’ve been too caught up in everything else.
I’m back in that zone.
This is your Sunday evening reminder that you can handle everything this week throws at you. Handle it better than I did today.
Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️