So it didn’t start well. I think my cheap step count watch has a mind of its own. I woke at 4.43am and given the vibration from the watch that followed…. For the next half hour or so, I can only imagine that’s what woke me. I’ve raised a complaint that I can’t control the screen. There’s a theme here with the day. Lack of control.

I was wide awake. I couldn’t stop thinking about things that needed doing today….. I tried breathing exercises. They work for a few inhales and exhales then another thought pops into my head. Repeat. Repeat. You get the gist.

I decide I’d be better off getting up and heading into work and doing things rather than lying in bed mulling everything over. I got up at 5.45.

I knew my anxiety was a bit off the scale today. I feel a bit breathless and my mind flits from one thing to the next and I can’t think straight.

I talk it through. I put it aside. I write a list.

I am bit sad tonight. Sad that I had a bad day and I want to just be able to shrug it off. Instead I seem to choose to wallow in it.

To be fair I did alright today. I do pretty damn good despite everything.

I’ve eaten a lot of calories to compensate. At 999 days without alcohol I really could have done with one tonight. Instead I chose crisps and cheesecake for dinner.

I took the dogs out for a walk. I think I missed a good sunset as the sky was really pretty.

The dogs were a nightmare on the walk. Maybe I was the nightmare on the walk. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

I need to learn not to get so angry and upset when the anxiety kicks in. It’s not the end of the world. It just feels like it at the time.

As I sit here swithering whether to post this or not…. I realise that today has been nowhere near as bad as I think it was. It’s just in my head. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️