Day 580 clocks ⏰ went back last night and it’s Halloween 🎃 👻💀🎃

I love it when the clocks go back. We gain an extra hour of the weekend….. yet…. I didn’t see it at all as I slept right through it! Which basically means I’ve slept for HOURS…. 💤💤💤

I was in one of those “dead to the world” type sleeps. Nothing in my head. It was such a deep sleep. Sooo good!

I opened my eyes at 8.49am. Boom. Awake. Up!

Thankfully not but one friend was on Frozen for the second time by 8.30am 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
This is SOOOOOO true!!

It’s also Halloween 🎃

A whole lotta truth in this!
Some element of truth in this!

So I’m having a really great weekend. I am chill, I am calm and I’m relaxed. I’ve not thought about work at all which is unheard of for at least the last month or so.

I’m not beating myself up about my list of chores. They are not walloping me in the face every 5 minutes. If I choose do something off my list then I do it and it feels good to mentally tick it off. It also feels just as good not to do the things on the list.

I’m super tired but I think it’s mostly the exhaustion of all the overthinking from the last month. It’s all part of the recovery.

We did the food shopping first thing this morning. Got loads of healthy food. What has actually happened to me?!? If you told me I’d be eating lettuce wraps and actually enjoying every bite I’d have laughed in your face 😂😂

I have already prepared my lunch for tomorrow already…….



Then I took the dogs out. It was torrential rain so I put what I called my wet clothes on. Craig did ask why I wouldn’t put dry clothes on and to be fair, he had a point. 🤣😂🤣

Some lovely colours 🍁🍂🍁
This old gate needs a bit of tlc
And then this happened! The sun came out!!
These leaves are lovely!
Reflections in a muddy puddle – very autumnal

So it’s still only 1.30pm. How is it the extra hour feels sooooo much longer than just an hour?! This is the best day of the year.

This made me laugh!!

I’ve had a lovely afternoon. I’ve pottered, hoovered, done washing, had a mini snooze. I’m really tired but can’t sleep with the smell of the pork joint we have cooking for pulled pork. I’ve just opened my eyes and it’s 17.20 and it’s dark.

Acht the nights are fair drawin’ in now.

Yup… the c-word…. It’s comin’ next but I’m gonna try and continue enjoying the present moment.

As that’s where true happiness lies.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 579 reflections of the first party in years, clearing kitchen cupboards and chillin’ 🎃👻🤠🖤

Well…. I actually had a great time at the village pub Halloween party last night. What a great bunch of folk, amazing costumes. A real live band and dancing… lots of dancing!

The torrential rain finally cleared and left this. Wow!
Getting ready and I was not impressed…. Still not fancying my costume

Now Craig has the curliest hair ever in the history of curly hair and he decides he wants it straight for his costume…. Rolls eyes…. But actually it’s really fun trying to straighten it. I blow dried it straight and then used my straighteners for the first time in about 4 years… not quite but almost!

Pretty damn straight!!!

Of course it spent the night getting shorter as the curl frizzed up in it but hey it looked really different to his usual “do”.

Mr & Mrs Cowboy 🤠

So yeah, I had moments of insecurity. Nerves walking in dressed up but not dressed up enough for a major Halloween costume. I don’t join in on the games they play but on whole I relaxed and enjoyed it.

Our neighbours are so lovely and I got so many lovely comments on the blog. ♥️ thanks to everyone who reads this as it means a lot.

This really hits the mark.

At 9pm the band came on… now this is a small village pub and honestly I could feel my face vibrating with the sound. It was very loud, so loud we had to scream to speak to anyone and I’ve spent most of today croaking or squeaking! But I reckon the band was a turning point for me…. When they played something I knew the desire to boogie was overwhelming…. Even sober amongst everyone else drinking. So I danced!

With Claire!
With Claire and Michelle!
With Batman 🦇

The band usually play Deacon Blue’s Dignity at the end of the night and in years gone by it’s been a sit on the bar and sing….. so I decided to get up there again this year. Why not?! All sober. And I loved it!!

A very unsightly singing on the bar with Rachel two doors down!!

Home and bed with a wee smile on my face.

So I’ve not got out of my jammies today at all. Well I did…. about 4.30pm (so that was a lie!) but into leggings and a sweatshirt so not much change.

We’ve had a lazy morning with a flurry of afternoon activity clearing out kitchen cupboards, writing a shopping list and making Breakfast Bars from thenFit Body Farm cook book. They are lovely but cut into squares rather than bars as a wee snack!

Butter, cashew butter, honey, oats, chia seeds, banana, lime and orange zest, walnuts and flaked almonds…. Lovely 😊

I mean honestly… me baking?!? There are loads of things I “should” have done today but getting the kitchen in order is a huge help to the Fit Body Farm healthy eating challenge. All the tubs have lids and everything is where it’s meant to be rather than all over the place as it was last week.

A fresh start to week 2!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 578 torrential rain and a mega nana nap!! 🥱😴🛌💤

Well we got to the Fit Body Farm this morning without getting soaked. It was unseasonably mild. I had two jackets on and both came off pretty quickly. It was really warm when we started working out.

The floodlights make everything look stunning in the dark.

I was buzzing after it. Endorphins were a’pumping!

As we left the rain started and by the time I went out with the dogs it was pretty wet!

I didn’t take any photos on the dog walk as it was dark and pouring with rain. I took Bhruic and Freya out first… as buzzing as I was I just didn’t want to handle all 3 at once. I came back totally drookit and got Calaidh and headed up the hill with her. I was so soaked when I got back to eat breakfast my hair was dripping down my neck!!! What was more funny was the fright it gave me every time it dripped… I mean come on?!?

So I headed up to Braehead Shopping Centre in Glasgow today as I had a ring that was being repaired and it was ready for collection.

One of the wee diamonds had fallen out and it had been lying about for ages. it cost a lot for a wee diamond but hey at least I can get the use of it….. when I lose a bit of weight and it fits on the figure it’s meant to…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

I had a wee wander round the shops but my heart wasn’t in it. When I say that it sounds negative but I actually mean it in a positive way.

It’s nice to have a wander round and appreciate things but you also realise you don’t have to HAVE everything. You can appreciate nice things but you don’t need to own them all. I’m one for comfort shopping and today I realised I didn’t need to do it. The things I picked up to buy, I put it back and felt really good doing it.

I decided to treat myself to a Starbucks. I sat and watched everyone either talk on the phone, look on their phone, FaceTime in the middle of a crowded coffee shop. They were all rushing around and not one person was just sitting enjoying the moment of peace, drinking a coffee. (Btw still on the decaf. It’s going well!)

I stoped watched them and savoured my veggie New York Deli style sandwich and coconut milk latte. I tried to eat it mindfully.

I think I’m turning into a total weirdo. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🥴🤣

I’ve been listening to so many different podcasts recently that focus on the present. Appreciating the present moment as the past is only an memory and the future hasn’t happened yet.

Eckhart Tolle is really speaking to me just now. The podcast I listened to today was the story of his life.

He said “you need suffering for you to come to a point of realisation that you do not need to suffer anymore”. He says that our suffering is all our own making (which I know but it’s hard to stop) and as soon as we choose to stop suffering we will learn to live in the present moment and be at peace with that.

So after coffee I chose to come home and get into bed. I listened to a “sound bath” on YouTube which my friend in Canada sent me. Wow. It was amazing. I lay there for 45 minutes maybe in and out of consciousness, I’m not sure. At 2pm I switched it off and slept like a log until 3.30pm! Out for the count.

It took a while to wake up from.

Craig came home and we made healthy burgers and wedges for dinner which was lovely then started to get ready for the pub Halloween party.

Now I’m not a fan of Halloween 🎃 I’m not sure why, I never have been. I have a religious background and it never seemed to sit right with that but it’s more than that…. It’s my quiet anxiety that doesn’t like to be out after dark and doesn’t like the pressure to have to “party” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 let alone put a costume on for it.

Invite me out to brunch or lunch and I’ll be the best but evenings… not so much. I’ve always been like this I’ve just never been able to admit it.

So I sit here right now “dressed up” as a cowgirl 🤠 kind of… reluctantly invested in the night. There are no photos…. Yet… there may be some tomorrow. We’ll see 🎃👻🤠🥴

I know I’ll have a good night but anxiety makes me feel uncomfortable even walking in dressed up not really dressed up. Aaaaarrrggghhhhhhhh!!

So I’ll leave it here tonight and go… party 🎉

And you know the best of it is I’ll probably have a great time and wonder what all the fuss was about!

Stay safe everyone 🎃👻🤠

Day 577 and just like that it’s my weekend again! 🥳

I’m amazed at myself with this healthy eating thing…. Someone’s alarm went off at 5.45 this morning 😳 and I knew I was wide awake. I got up to the loo and stood there weighing up the choice between staying up and going back to bed. I mean any normal person would just go back to bed….. I just knew if I did that I’d feel more lethargic as I’d lie there thinking about everything that needed done. So I jumped in the shower and got it over with. I’m up!

I then spent time preparing breakfast and lunch….

Lunch was smoked salmon and prawn salad with mango, cashews and tomatoes, drizzled with olive oil and lime dressing. All freshly made.

I usually hate salad. This was bloody lovely. I even filled out My Fitness Pal and I usually hate doing that. Hate is a strong word but both salad and my fitness pal have caused a wave of overwhelming stress and anxiety for me in recent years. A strop that I should have to bother with them…. I know, ok?! I hear myself but that’s what it was?

Yip… unafraid to express my truth. Guess we’ve got that covered now eh?!

So yeah I’m actually savouring what I’m eating because I had to prepare it. The office has a different smell every day… brocolli soup, boiled eggs and today smoked salmon… I’m the gift that keeps on giving!! (And no I don’t mean what you think so don’t start, I’ve been very good on that front…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣)

It rained for most of the day again but at some point I realised there was calm above the portacabin…. I stepped out and there was a strange ball in the sky?!

Drove home from work towards a huge fire and ended up driving right past it. There’s a travellers camp set up in the north of Irvine. They’ve moved HUGE big stones to fit their caravans in but sadly not enough for the Fire Engine. It looked like a caravan had exploded. It was a huge fire and it was ablaze when I passed it. they were trying to stretch the hoses to reach. Hope everyone was ok. 🤞🏼

Home to dinner a la Craigie…

Shepherds Pie and Mediterranean veg

Nice lazy evening for me. Cuppa and good chat with Claire, feet up watching tv. Chill.

Here’s to the weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 576 IT’S RAINING!!! 🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧

Wow what a wild day. We left the house at 5.30 for the Fit Body Farm and literally 5 minutes up the road, the heavens opened. It’s pretty much rained all day!

FBF was indoors today…. Thankfully. Another tough session but I felt a sense of “try harder” today and I gave it some extra welly. A heavier weight and tried some of the options to make it more difficult.

I was really proud of my workout today.

I get my shower at the gym before I head down to work and I’m the only one there when I leave…. Boy was it dark!! I’m gonna have to pack a head torch for over winter. Is left my phone in Lotty the campervan so didn’t even have that torch. 🔦

So yeah good day at work, got loads done today and have a spreadsheet to work on tomorrow if nothing else interrupts me! Love a good spreadsheet.

Wait till you hear what we did tonight….. stop it…. 🙄😬Craig had to pick me up from Tartan HQ today as he’d picked up Abbie the campervan with her expensive new Intercooler. We prep’d and cooked and ate “Guilt Free Shepherds Pie” all before my Crochet Hookers session! That’s unheard of.

And it was uh-maz-in!!

Ok I realise it doesn’t look like the best but honestly it tasted so good. Lunch was Mango, Prawn and Avocado 🥑 salad.

I maybe should have had some actual salad with it?!? But it was lovely too!

Hookers has been great and we’ve set the world to tights again as we do… 🤣🤣🤣 and I’ve actually done 1.5 granny squares tonight…. Check me, coking AND crocheting at crochet?!

Whatever next. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 575 a whirlwind of a day! 🌪

The weather has been pretty atrocious today. Heavy rain and strong winds. Been bedraggled every time I stepped outside of the portacabin at work!

So it’s been a whirlwind of a day time wise too.

Want to say that I heard about the death of Walter Smith today. He was the Rangers Manager at a time when I followed football. He came across as such a lovely man. I knew he’d been ill but a shock none the less. A sad day for Rangers Football Club and the world of football.

Walter Smith 1948-2021

So a busy day at work, home to walk the dogs before back out to Kinesiology for 5.45pm!

How’s this for an atmospheric shot?!?

As usual I go into Kinesiology with Shelagh like the Tasmanian Devil and come out like I’m floating on a raft down a lazy river. It’s such a great feeling to be balanced.

Back home to make chicken pizza again (I know I should mix it up a bit but I have all the ingredients and it’s fast…) hang up washing and it’s 8pm already!!

The good news is that I haven’t obsessed about food every minute of every day. Maybe I’ve been too busy, maybe I’m in the flow. Not sure but still have tomorrow to prep for before I can sit down and have the wonderful 5am alarm to look forward to!

Phew. I can rest at the weekend!

Abbie is fixed… it was the intercooler pipe that had split so that’s another £410 🥴 will have to go and pick her up tomorrow and get Lotty back to Tartan HQ.

She’s up for sale if anyone’s interested?! 🥳

Sorry for the rush tonight but needs must of I’ll starve. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

I’ve just read this back and thought… breathe pet… just breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ 🤣🤣🤣

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 574 Fit Body Farm 6 week challenge 🏋🏻‍♀️💪🏼🏋🏻‍♀️and swapped and Abbie campervan for a Lotty!

4.27am Mr A got up… let that sink in. We woke up at 4.27am for the gym.

We had weigh in before the class started. of course we did. I mean it’s not early enough we get up… let’s get up a weeeee bit earlier. Why not.

So there is good news among the bad news. The bad news first…. I have 45% body fat.

Even after all this time I still have 45% body fat. Why am I shocked?! It’s not like I have a healthy, nutritional diet. I am a grabber. I eat when I’m hungry, I don’t eat meals, I just grab.

The good news is that I have lost 3lbs… over the summer. I should have just left it at I’ve lost 3 lbs. That’s wow! Over the summer… not so much!

So the really good news is that for once in my life I have found a weight that I seem to easily maintain. It’s a shame I’m not happy with it because I’ve so got it sussed. 🤣🤣

So I have prepared every meal today. I’ve had Cashew Granola for breakfast, Broccoli and Mint soup for lunch and chicken pizza with crispy kale for dinner. (I actually typed Krispy Kale there… Freudian slip?!)

All were lovely and I probably spend more time enjoying the flavours and appreciating the food because I made it… but I’m been starving.

Food is constantly on my mind. I’ve also had coconut pieces and sugar snap peas today. I’ve consumed more veg in a day than I have in the last year. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m an all or nothing kind of guy…. I’m all in now so I can’t eat anything that’s not on the list… that’s how it works for me. My teeth are practically bleeding sugar!!!

So I’m not enjoying one minute of it but I’m gonna stick with it.

Having given up alcohol now for almost 3 years, I am well aware of the feeling of giving something up… I need to focus on what I am gaining rather than missing out. But all that sucks right now.

Chicken pizza 🍕 and Krispy kale 🥬 and Bhru is in the background as usual!

So that’s pretty much been the focus of my day.

I had to bring a Tartan Camper home tonight as I’m Abbie-less. So I now have a Lotty! And she’s Tartan and you can’t miss her in the car park!


I’m pottering about again tonight tidying up while Suits is on Netflix… and writing the blog. Hell I got this multitasking in the bag!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 573 housework and prep for the Fit Body Farm 6 week challenge 🏋🏻‍♀️

Very often!!

I had a list this weekend and I achieved a fair bit of it. I did add things as I did them and scored them off. It is a win!

The most important thing this weekend was some prep for the Fit Body Farm 6 week challenge where we aim to lose 6% body fat. I’ve don’t this before but struggled with the nutrition and lost 4%. This is a great time to try it again as we head into the winter months and I’d probably be pigging out if I wasn’t trying to be healthy!

Craig went to chop wood with the village woodcutters and I went to the supermarket with my list.

Ended up in 2 supermarkets! Still didn’t get everything.

Got back home and started making Broccoli and Mint soup and some Cashew Granola.

Nothing looks very appetising but it’s healthy and freshly mad. That’s breakfast and lunch covered for a few days.

Then popped into Claire’s for a cuppa and a lovely chat. Took my decaf with me….saddo!

Back home and did housework, hoovered and then took the dogs for a walk. Well Calaidh and Freya and left the Limpy McLimperson Bhruic behind. It was a lovely day and I don’t think that was forecast at all.

This is just a puddle in a field but the colours are stunning
Check this gate mumma
Loved this fern growing out the wall

So it’s been a busy day. I didn’t sit down until about 6pm…. oh and made a roast chicken, roasties and brocolli for dinner! I mean come on…

So yeah, I’m not jumping through hoops of excitement about having to prep everything that I eat in the next 6 weeks but I’ve made a start. It’s taken me all day but I’ve done it.

I even have options for dinner tomorrow night. What’s the world coming to??!

This needs to be my mantra this week

So yeah, Sunday night… remember we can handle everything this week throws at us.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 572 Abbie back to garage 🤬, coffee with Lea, lunch with Craig 😁

6.30am…. Pupster grumbling noises from upstairs made me get up to let them out. Decided not to come back to bed. (As I write that I realise the wording shows I write it back in bed 😂🤣😂 true dat)

Think I meant mentioned, we start a 6 week challenge at the Fit Body Farm on Monday… we need to control our nutrition as well as the exercise.

I tried to do some work on my healthy eating plan for this week. If I don’t plan I’ll just grab food I can find to eat and that’s never the best option. I picked some meals off a list of 30 breakfast, lunches and dinners… now I know what I need to buy I just need to get to the supermarket sometime.

Funny how planning and prepping for meals overwhelms me. I don’t enjoy it at all. It’s just another thing I have to add in to my day and it’s something I don’t want to do. I need to change that mindset as that’s what will make the difference to my health and fitness.

So I have a mini plan… that’s a start!

It seems we have two limping puppers after their big frisbee game yesterday. I decided not to walk them today to give them a rest. poor Bhru has cut a pad on her paw again and Calaidh is limping slightly too. They’ve slept all day. Musta needed it!!

I was meeting Lea in Silverburn at 10.30 so I set off at 9.45. By 9.50 I had a warning light on my dash…. Correction Abbie the campervan had a warning light on her dash… I called Craig who was sitting in front of his computer….. that warning light said drive slowly and carefully to the nearest garage. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So that is what I did.

So I’m back to being van less. We just got Craigs car out the same garage yesterday. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😤😳😬

Thankfully Craig was able to run me to meet Lea and pick me back up again after his job today.

So glad as I was really looking forward to seeing her and getting a Starbucks! (Still on decaf btw and feeling better for it.)

Lea and I used to work together in Panasonic in the late 90’s. She was the youngster in the office but with a very smart head on her shoulders. She’s been there ever since, always there to listen, never judging. I’m very lucky to have her.

We always used to meet in Starbucks in East Kilbride. We even knew the staff in there for a good while. It’s funny that we always automatically head for Starbucks. It was so great to catch up and have a good old blether!

When Craig picked me up we decided to head bro the pub for lunch.

Steak Pie x 2 🤩

I can honestly say I am full to the gunnels. I got into bed to write this when we got home and I couldn’t write or couldn’t sleep. I was just too full!!!

We’ve started watching Squid Game on Netflix. It’s really weird but actually really good. Guess there’s a binge watch coming m.

Bhru all snuggled in!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 571 Fit Body Farm killer session, Abbie hits 100k miles, Gro Coffee for breakfast, dog walk in Irvine then the village pub!

You don’t need to read this now… it’s all in the title 🤣🤣 but yeah you know there are so many more words and feelings in the day… 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

So up out of bed at 5am for the Fit Body Farm and drove the Touareg today.. what a dream to drive… it corners like it’s on rails. 🙊😆

I had 4 layers, a hat and gloves on today as I had been so cold yesterday morning.

Of course today… it was not that cold. 😅😅

So today was a killer session for me. We did circuits of wall ball targets, tug of war, farmers carry and the (devil) burpees…. 4 rounds of each for 15 seconds at a time. Sounds nothing eh?!? Oh but then the killer… a resting jog… now come on a jog is a jog is a jog…. So a resting jog out to the main drive and then a 100m sprint… with a resting jog/walk back to start the next round. It rained and burpees mean you have to lie on the ground…. 🤦🏻‍♀️

We cut this back a bit to 3 rounds of circuits but it still meant that before 7am this morning I had run 14 x 100metre sprints. 😳

She who doesn’t run, she who hates running. 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

The support was amazing. I was last a lot of the time but so many people spurred me on. The last 2 sprints I felt like I had more energy than I’d had for the first 12. 🤷🏻‍♀️😆

But you know what (never start a sentence with but…) I did it all… and it felt bloody amazing.

If you’d told me what I was going to do at 5am then I wouldn’t have gone as is never have thought it possible.

I did it!!

Then I had heated seats all the way home. 😬 what a reward!

I was wet when I got in but I didn’t want to wake the dogs so I sat on Grans chair and did another session of the Daylight app.

This was about facing up to one of your anxieties and writing the story of how you think it would go in your head… if it was to actually happen. It was another great tool to use.

Got them all up at 8 and we headed down to drop Craigs car for a service and Abbie the campervan hit 99,999 miles and then 100,000!!! I had to pull over into a lay-by. Naturally.

Can no longer say she’s under 100k miles 😢

We then went to Gro Coffee in Irvine for breakfast.

Had to take a pic of the cakes again while we waited 😆 I didn’t have one!!
This was the riot in the back!

We had takeaway as we had the dogs with us so didn’t get the ambience (said in French accent…) but made our own!

I had the veggie breakfast
Craig had the big breakfast
Whatcha eating?!?
Hurry up… want to go for a walk
Brekkie with a view
It’s a lovely day but windy
Looking over Irvine beach to Arran
Sunshine ☀️ !!!

And then I had a 2 hour nap. Out for the count… musta needed it…..until someone came into the room and put shoes on while talking to the dogs… telling them the car was ready for collection! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😁

Ok I’m awake. It really was the best nap…

So off to get the car, back home and into the village pub for an Alcohol free Erdinger by the fire.

Caught up with the neighbours and had good chats.

Now it’s home for our fire and a movie night I think.

Today was a lovely day and I’m so proud of my efforts at the Farm.

Bring on the six week challenge for Team Avery next week.

Happy Friday night.♥️

Stay safe everyone 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

Day 570 winter is coming! ☃️❄️🌨🏂🏔

The first frost of the year…. Was I ready for it?!? No but I did find the scraper after about 5 minutes of searching!

Thankfully I had my super gloves in the van so that was a huge bonus! The moon was stunning this morning. Super bright.

It was actually still dark when I took this! It was a stunning drive to work. So bright and clear after the last few misty days. I literally drove to work looking for a place to stop all the way along to capture the moon but I was running later due to the scraping! I didn’t get a heat until about 11.30am!!

I did feel pretty anxious this morning when I woke up so I did some work on the Daylight app at 6.30am…. Crazy eh?!? I did some tense and release exercises which are actually amazing but hysterical. You squeeze everything up tightly for 10 seconds and breathe out saying relax at the end. After 3 goes the thumping headache I woke up with had gone.

I moved on to the next exercise which asks you to think of a situation that you are very anxious about. It then asks you to answer questions about that issue. the thought challenger…

  • What is the worst thing that can happen?
  • How could you have reacted differently?
  • How would someone you admire handle this situation?
  • What if that did happen?
  • Are you taking too much responsibility?

Now that last one is the key to it all… yes…. Yes… yes… yes and yes…..

I take too much responsibility for everything. Until it overwhelms me.

I didn’t use that at work today….. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I let the anxiety slowly build up until I had pains in my chest. Now….. I did tighten my bra up a notch this morning….🤣🤣 Coulda been that but some things build up and feel like a gut punch.

None of it was an issue. Only in my head. Because I take too much responsibility.

So I came home from work and took the monsters out for a walk and a good game of frisbee. They sky was lovely again tonight. strange cloud formations.

So back home to chill the f out…. Again. I was disappointed in myself today. I feel like I created drama where there was none. I fell like my anxiety dragged others into it today for no real reason.

But hey… it is what it is and I can’t change it. On the plus side I didn’t have a heart attack. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 569 Fit Body Farm 🏋🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️ work 💻 🚐 and the Gateside Hookers 🧶

Well I actually bounded out of bed at 5.05am, I mean honestly, who does that?!? I’ve had a good level of energy this week and haven’t felt lethargic at all. That’s actually a first for me.

There was a lovely light at the Farm when I left this morning.

Lovely skies

I’ve been drinking decaf coffee for 2 weeks now. My food intake has been better this week. I’ve been to the gym twice this week already. Guess one or all of that helps?!

The sky was lovely at Tartan HQ.

So I’ve come home, got my comfies on and sat on the bed to write this. I’m still watching Suits and really enjoying it.. I can watch it and multitask.

I’m having a good week. I’m calm but energetic, my anxiety is nowhere to be seen… she says….. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

I did this “worry time” thing from the Daylight app last night…. Interesting and not sure how it works when I don’t have loads of worries flowing through me. I am meant to spend some time each day where I allow all the worries the bubble up and think about them over and over until they bore me.. they bored me very quickly and I only managed 4 minutes of worry time yesterday. I guess this might be a good thing to try on the days when anxiety is overwhelming.

I seem to have days of pretty severe anxiety and days of none. I don’t do anything by halves. 😆

I love the premise behind this. Nothing is more important than making time for you ♥️
This is really powerful
This made me giggle 🙊
For anyone who needs to see this ♥️
Very true
This is worth thinking about. Clearly out is so cathartic. We seriously need to get rid of loads of stuff
I live for a simple life!
I love this 💕

The next one really struck me. Reading up on meditation, this is a powerful expression of sitting back and watching your thoughts. See them as clouds passing on a blue sky.

So I have the Gateside Hookers in less than an hour. It’s the first time I’ve been in 2 weeks so I’m looking forward to getting my hook out and getting some crochet done as I put my world to tights…. As we say 🤣🤣

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 568 it’s 6 years since we moved into oor wee hoosie 🏡

So yeah 6 years ago today we moved into our lovely wee cottage in a small village.

You know how it is when you’re on holiday and you look at something and wonder why you can’t live somewhere like that?! We had always loved old cottages. Loved the quaint and rustic look. Came home to a house in a big housing estate surrounding by hundreds of other houses and yet we knew no one around us. We smiled and had a wee chat with neighbours but it always just pleasantries.

We started looking for older and more unique houses and didn’t really care where we ended up. We ended up a 70 mile round trip from my job at the time.

We saw the cottage up for sale on the Wednesday, viewed it that night and bought it by Friday. The guy had a painting of a plane landing on Barra Beach on his wall. That’s our favourite place and we saw that as yet another sign.

When you move into a village you gain an extension to your family.

There is always someone here for you. Always someone ready to help you. You can borrow anything from anyone. Sugar…. There’s a lot of sugar changes hands…. 🤣 I’ve lost count of the amount of lovely meals that have arrived at our door from the pub next door… the doorbell rings, you go outside and no one is there but dinner has arrived…. And it’s always amazing!!

When we moved in several of the neighbours came to introduce themselves. We spent the first few years piecing everyone together as everyone knows everyone else and it takes a while to understand all the links!

And since then we’ve seen many of the stalwarts of the village sadly pass away and feel privileged to have met them and then lovely new neighbours move in and slowly we become a part of the history.

We’ve spent a small fortune on our 250+ year old cottage and it’s still not finished…. But it’s ours and we love it… and our lovely neighbours ♥️

We have miles of single track roads and fields around us for dog walks and if you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll have seen photos of so many of them.

Here we go today!

So work and then dog walk today.

It’s been rotten weather again. Pouring rain but I got a dry spell with the dogs.

The hedges have all been cut back since I last walked this way. Everything felt strange as it looked so different. You learn so much more about farming when you live in the country. It never stops. The work never stops.

Checking out the hedges mumma
Wet and muddy!

I’m having another productive evening. I usually sit down and never move but I’m making a point of getting things tidied up and it feels good.

The problem is…. I stand up and this happens….

Oh I should say I did a meditation this morning before I left for work! Check me. My mind was racing when I woke up so I thought I’d try and calm it down.

After this I’m off to do some work on the Daylight app… apparently I have some worry time scheduled where I can worry as much as I like about things but only in that time. Don’t laugh. I’m trying everything.

How the hell I stop worrying after worry time is the key….. let’s see how it goes.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 567 a dreich autumn day, thankfully not camping! 🌧🍁🍂🌧

It’s so mild today, the alarm went off at 5am and out the door to the Fit Body Farm at 5.30am and realised how “warm” it actually was.

The Farm was good today. It stayed dry and the workout was all in the dark and it was still dark when I got to work. That’s the first time that’s happened. Acht the mornings are fair drawing in…. Not quite sure that’s the saying… 🤣🤣

It rained pretty much ALL day….. at one point it was stotting off the Tartan HQ portacabin.

Came home sharp to catch Craig before he left for work, for all of 10 minutes.. and took the dogs out. Some lovely soggy autumnal photos.

Off we go!
Autumnal gate!
These berries are everywhere…. It’s really quite Christmassy
The burn is really fast flowing and you can see the berries in the bushes at the back
Almost about to burst its banks
In for a paddle
Check the colour of the clouds
Bhru checking out the burn

So those unusual clouds basically meant that the rain was coming and it started again before I got home. Got a weeee bit wet!

So instead of being super tired and lounging around all evening I’ve put a washing on, filled the dishwasher, folded up dry clothes, ooooh made dinner. Actually that’s not fair to say…. I got a lovely double portion of Veg Chilli left over from the pub this weekend. Had that for dinner.

The point is that I’m trying to be more active and stop procrastinating.

So that was Monday.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 566 from a dry, calm Nairn to a misty drive home 🏡

We were in bed for 7.30pm last night and honestly slept right through til 8am this morning. Musta needed it!!

It wasn’t as cold last night so we didn’t need the diesel heater on at all and I think the fresh air took its toll and we were out for the count.

It rained a fair bit overnight and we woke up to lots of condensation this morning!

So thought I’d show you how we roll in our tent…

Bhruic sleeping with Craig
Calaidh on me
Freya telling me it’s time to wake up!

Think she needs the dentist?!

Much cuter when she’s not being jaws!

So we finally got up.

Now check this photo and zoom in on the left hand side… that’s how close the Alpacas are to the tent.

The dark brown Aplaca is called Hamish.

Morning you guys!
Back Butteries this time for breakfast with coffee of course

Not sure if I said but I’ve been on decaf coffee this last week and I’ve noticed a difference in my anxiety. I am way calmer… now I realise this could be a number of things as I’ve been working on the Daylight app for anxiety too. It could just be that I’ve spent the last two nights in a field… maybe that’s it. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

The skies are dramatic
And then the sun came out!
Dramatic skies opposite though

I think the rain is coming but we are so lucky we got to laze around and pack up until we left about 1.30pm.

I took them down to the pond again. They love playing around here. We were very lucky that the site was so quiet so we could leave the dogs running around in the dog walk area…. They had a blast.

Arty stone throw shot!
Mini thistle!

And so it was time to leave…. It started to rain about 10 minutes into our 4 hour drive and it rained pretty much all the way down. Just low cloud and misty rain. We were so lucky with the weather this weekend not to have been camping in it!

Few shots from the drive down…. I loved not driving!!

Lovely scenery all the way down despite the weather. We got stuck in 3 traffic jams but they only added 15 mins or so.

I am now here.

Remember we all got this!

Stay safe everyone 🔥🔥🔥

Day 565 a day in sunny Nairn! 🏕🐶🐶🐶

It was super chilly last night after we had dinner and we got the wood burning stove on and sat cooried in next to it. We sat out until just before 10pm.

We have the diesel heater for the tent… we had it on to start with. Switched it off through the night and back on again early morning as it had cooled down a bit. We have 2 cots that we sleep on and the dogs either lie on the floor or pick a person to lie on… literally.

So we didn’t sleep great. I was comfy and relaxed but always pretty aware of what was going on round about me. it’s hard not to be when 3 border collies want to use you as a trampoline!🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Got up at 7.30 to take the dogs out and it was a lovely red sky. (Don’t want red sky in the morning though as that suggests the weather will turn?!?)

She know never cooks…. cooked bacon 🥓 for rolls and made coffee for breakfast.

Love a campfire breakfast 🍳

So we decided to head down to Nairn this morning as we didn’t see any of it the last time we were here. Nairn is only 3 miles from Barns Highland Campsite. 🏕

It’s cloudy and a bit overcast but I have my thermals on under my clothes. I have 5 layers on my top half!!! I am cosy.

Let’s all pose unwillingly beside the driftwood tree…
This tree is stunning!
The hammerhead shark hat strikes again

We had some fun with the frisbee and the girls ran for miles!

More tree art!
Love this view from up at the marina
Nairn Marina
View over to Cromarty

We went for a walk around the marina and then stopped at the Strathnairn Beach Cafe for coffee and a cake. To be fair we had only really just had breakfast but hey… it’s a holiday. And there’s always room for cake!

And as we waited for our order the sun came out!!!

Looking toward Inverness
Looking out to sea
Car park at the beach

We popped into Sainsbury’s and I spotted this wee guy in the car park 🍄

It’s amazing what you see when you take the time to look around you. when would you ever think this would grow right behind your parking space at a supermarket. Nature is amazing!!

The drive home to the campsite along lovely single track roads. it’s been blue skies and sunshine for most of the afternoon. Stunning!

On arrival…… 🤣🤣🤣

This campsite is spotlessly clean

Took the dogs for a run in the field.

Bhru searching for her stone!
Calaidh waiting for a stone!
Doesn’t this look positively tropical?!?

If you look In the top left hand corner of the next pic you’ll see our car… that’s where we’re camped.

Same again here…. Campsite up directly behind Freya
They’ve loved playing around as there are no other dogs so they’ve had a bit more freedom
Clouding over

Craigs watching the football now and I’m crocheting. We are sitting out in the sun but it’s disappearing fast and my fingers are still cold in fingerless gloves. My crochet is getting slower…. I’ve retreated into the car for a nap!

It’s been a beautiful day. It’s very cold but it’s so calm and bright…. No wind and no rain and that’s all we can ask.

The alpacas came down to check the dogs…

So Craig went to check them out!!

But you’re not dogs!

We made chicken and chorizo chilli and honey wraps tonight. They were so good. I’m really enjoying cooking though it’s hardly gourmet chef stuff… it’s good for me!

No sunset tonight but there’s still a lovely colour in the sky.

This has been another great break at Barns Highland. It’s so calm and peaceful here… the only sound is the barking of our own dogs…. When an Alpaca comes to visit 🤣🤣 no sign of the Highlanders today! Boo……

A quiet night in front of the stove for us. Just how we like it. The forecast looks good and the rain should stay away!

Stay safe everyone 🏕🔥🐶

Day 564 ROADTRIP to Nairn! 🚘🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🐶🐶🐶👫

And we’re off again…. This time it’s the 5 of us and it only took us a whole lot of hours to be ready to leave.

We’re in the Touareg this time and have brought the tent. Abbie the Campervan, who is just 200 miles shy of 100,000 miles on the clock, is having a rest at home. I’m having a rest in the passenger seat and it’s lovely to be chauffeur driven!!

Of course we woke up to the first frost of 2021…. Yay! Let’s go and sleep outside tonight shall we?!?

I’m feeling good, if you can’t tell. I am calm despite loads of triggers this morning. The delay in getting away, the amount of stuff we seem to have but I’m good. Craig might say I never helped pack but I stayed out the way at critical times when things may have overwhelmed me and spent time hanging washing and loading the dishwasher! The result is a calm and happy wife. What’s not to love?!?

So we left at 11.35 precisely.

Glasgow from the M74… check that sky! it’s not a pretty city but it’s a very pretty sky!
There were hundreds of geese migrating just before Perth but all I got was a tiny view of them through some long grass!!
Love this wee cottage
Pitlochry was heaving today but is a lovely wee town

Our first stop was Faskally just north of Pitlochry where we stopped to walk the dogs. Wow. What an unexpected surprise!

The view from the car!
Think this is my favourite 🤩
Of course hoddit, Doddit and ploddit were there too!
Heading north on the A9
How cute is this?!?
When I was a wee girl my dad told me if you stamp in the long grass you might find pheasants… I stamped a lot and lost my sandal into the raging river just about here!! I will never forget that. I was gutted!

We arrived at our campsite just outside Nairn about 4pm. This guy is in a field literally 500 yards from us!

This one really is a poser!!

After I took a million pics of the coos, I took the dogs for a walk in to the pond.

As we were setting up the tent I realised that the sun was already starting to set.

Look at the colours in the sky. It was a lovely sunset.

The dying sun lit up this field

Here we are all set up in the sunset!

As we worked I just ran about taking photos. It was beautiful.

I cooked dinner…… did you hear that?!? Yeah I actually cooked fish fajitas.

That’s our first camping night dinner tradition. They were super tasty… the dogs want some!

Cooking at sunset
And all of a sudden these guys arrived!!

There was much woo woo woo-big from Freya. To be fair the Alpacas must have seen the dogs and came down to investigate.. 3 against 3! The two white ones are now lying in the field next us… guarding their land! 🦙 🦙

Sunset on 🦙

I took the dogs back in for another run round the pond and took this next pic with my head torch on…

Sunset over the pond is lovely!

The moon is stunning tonight too. This next pic looks really spooky.

I’ve had the best day. I’m so proud of my mood and most of my reactions today. I am calm and truly appreciating the moment. Every moment today for what it is. There have been some very special moments… I have never been that close to a highland coo!!!

So we’re sitting outside in front of the wood burning stove, the stars are outcast the moon is moody and I just had an alcohol free Eden Mill gin in a can with Rose Lemonade. Lovely!

More exploring tomorrow.

Stay safe everyone 🔥🔥🔥 and stay warm!

Day 563 a great sleep and a better day!

I was asleep on the couch by 8pm so jumped into bed before 8.30pm… had a great sleep until he-who-shall-remain-nameless shouted that there was a cat trying to get into the bedroom window…. 😳🐈

I hadn’t heard the cat meowing…. I heard the person who heard tha cat 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 Just saying…..

So I lay awake for a bit until I got up but it wasn’t the same crippling anxiety, as earlier in the week, that kept me awake more just a a gentle normal human thought process.

I’ve been doing some work on the Daylight app around anxiety and some really simple steps really help. A tense and release 10 minute session is so simple but effect.

It’s been a good day. I’ve got loads done. It feels good to be back in control after the craziness that anxiety brings…. but it also feels very good to be at my weekend again!

I’ve got loads of positivity to share. Have a read through each one and think about what they mean to you.

So lots of positivity today. We’re away for the weekend again so have to get organised to leave sharp tomorrow. I’m sitting in my comfies with my feet up thinking hard about what I need to take. 🤣

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 562 back to the Fit Body Farm and a whole lot less anxiety 🏋🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️

The 5am alarm. Oh how I’ve missed it. Not!

Now when I think of it I’ve been awake lying in bed worrying about everything I had to do in the day so I’d have been as well being at the gym in the morning. Way more productive on the old brain.

It felt really good to be back. I was anxious, I felt a bit uncomfortable but I settled in.

So my focus today was to try and deny my anxiety. I can’t let it define me. I can’t let it take over every situation in my life. I tried to focus on peace and being present I. The moment again.

Now I honestly read things like this throughout the day to help keep me calm.

So an ok day today. I’m shattered and missing crochet again tonight but I am wrapped up in a blanket on the couch and barely able to keep my eyes open.

I was recommended the Daylight app which is being made available to people in Scotland to help combat anxiety. I’ve already signed up and completed all the questionnaires and gone through the first exercise.

It’s really helped. I hope the rest of them will too. I need to take this by the horns and get it to……. 🤭😬

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 561 fighting anxiety all day but winning 🥇

Honestly it’s so tiring battling the constant fight with anxiety. I slept like a log… out for the count until 5.20am.

When I woke up I realised I was really tense. My jaw was clenched and my neck solid and my head was thumping.

I took some paracetamol but they never touched the sides. Tension. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like tension as bad as this. Those antidepressants must have numbed everything.

I know I need to eat better, get back to exercise and look after myself a bit better and all of that will help.

So today’s been tough. There’s nothing bad happening, nothing I shouldn’t be able to handle with my eyes closed, just a constant welling of anxiety at things happening throughout the day.

Yet…. every time I have talked myself out of it and been proud of the way I’ve dealt with it.

At lunch I did a 5 minute meditation to calm anxiety. That helped a bit too. Just taking time out to breathe.

I know how ridiculous this all sounds. I hear myself. I know you may read this and think jeez…. just chill out. Calm down. Relax. There’s nothing to worry about. Chillax. 🤣

I am trying…. Every single minute of today I had to work at it.

Wow 🤩

Yeah maybe I should just keep some of this noise to myself. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

When I got home from work I nipped into Claire’s for Cole Kitten Cuddles.

Look at how cute he is!! He’s so teeny.

So I’ve finished Grace and Frankie on Netflix now and am looking for a new show…. I’ve started watching Suits as I write this. There are 9 seasons.

I could be some time…. 🤣🤣

This too shall pass.

Just need it to bloody hurry up.

Stay safe everyone ♥️💜🧡