So I’ve been beavering away in the background working out some issues with my new work life balance. The new balance was becoming more work than life unfortunately.
I’ve made the very difficult decision to take a step back from Pawsitive Solutions where I was making dog behavioural enquiry calls and training to work with puppies.
This was not a decision I reached lightly. Not at all. Craig and Lorna have been an amazing support through my healing journey and helped me get back into work. I will always be grateful for the opportunity they gave me.
It’s been a very difficult weekend for me as I wrestled with my decision. My post bus building life was always going to be a lot less stressfuland I thought I knew the direction in which I was heading…..
Then along comes Tartan Campers. A few conversations with the guys that did Abbie’s camper van conversion…… way back last year…. and I land a job out of it. No interview, no real idea of my work experience. Boom. Job.
I thought I could handle both but luckily a very wise woman pushed me as she knew that I couldn’t.
I have realised that my mind prefers the getting up to a morning alarm, job and done. I don’t do my best work in the afternoons and evenings. I like to get it out the way so that I can give myself time to rest as a reward. I get stressed when I have to wait for work.
Those of you who know me or have followed the blog for a while, will know I’m a people pleaser. I do what makes other people happy as that by default made me happy.
Not any more. I have learned the gift of speaking my truth. “If I speak my truth I will be calm”. My new rule to live by. Way better than “I am worthless” which it used to be.
So a huge decision, a difficult decision, made as calmly as I could with only mini-wobbles, fully supported by Craig.
He even said if Tartan doesn’t work out we will still be ok. Now that is something that means the world to me…….
I was lucky enough to have a very high salaried job in the past but it broke me. It was hard for us both to understand how we might live without that money.
But we have…. and we do…. and will continue to and we are so much happier.
Despite all this going on in the background I’ve had a busy wee day today. I had some dog behaviour to cover when I got back from Tartan and I went into the beer garden next door to try to help understand the new COVID rules for when the pub opens. Back in for Kinesiology at 3pm.
This week was all about my relationship with the dogs. I feel very out of control when I’m with them. I’m always worried something might happen on a walk and I get very stressed out by the whole event. We worked through all of this and cleared these fears and beliefs.
To test myself I decided to go a walk and instead of going by myself I took all 3 dogs (and Claire, who helped with one!). It wasn’t all plain sailing but I felt no stress and handled the doggy situations that presented themselves…. ♥️
I look forward to seeing how that works out for me.
I feel I have turned a corner this week. I’ve made some big decisions, I haven’t fallen apart, I’ve just worked through them methodically. I think I’ve handled it pretty well. I’m going to tidy the kitchen and sit with my feet up until Craig comes home and I’ll get the boy his dinner. Check me.
Stay safe everyone 🐾🐾🐾