I did not see this weather coming…. it was frosty early on and Mr Sporty Spice had to scrape the car at 5.30am when he got up for the gym. Bloomin’ middle of the night! 🤣
I managed not to wake up which is something but at 6.40am I sat up with a giant panic that I’d slept in. Also freaked thinking the client I was meeting this morning didn’t know our meeting point…. she did. Of course she did. 😳🥱😬
I did not feel good this morning. In face I felt positively dreadful. So exhausted and so nervous and so overwhelmed with everything that’s gone on this week.
I feel like I’ve been catapulted into some crazy world these last few weeks and you know what, it has been crazy. Tartan Campers came from nowhere and was never part of my new life plan. It came from nowhere (yeah you said that) and has taken over a whole lot of hours. I’ve done 21 hours of work with 4 hours of travelling which is a lot of a week when you consider I was getting up at 9 and walking the dogs and then making some calls and sleeping, crocheting or reading for the rest of the day.
My days feel soooo much longer. I’m obviously getting way less sleep as a result. However, in comparison to my previous working life it should be a positive breeze! And yes, that’s where I beat myself up. (I know never start a sentence with and….. ) The old me would have scoffed at these hours. The new me is scoffing at my exhaustion….
One the me’s just needs to give the other me a break! 🤦🏻♀️
I was all over the place this morning. Nervous, butterflies mixed with calm determination…. I knew I’d be fine but with a thumping tension headache as racing heart, all brought on by my own mind. My own lack of self confidence.
Like my mini meltdown yesterday, I can’t stop myself when I’m it it….. Yet I drive to the park, pay for parking and head into the park and conduct my first face to face puppy consultation and even I wouldn’t have known how I felt beforehand.
It went really well.
I guess deep down I knew it would.
That doesn’t seem to help though…. 🤦🏻♀️
So I was home by about 1.30pm and was still wired to the moon. I’m obsessed with how tired I feel and the desperation to get some sleep….. but there was a thing today…. the sun was shining ☀️☀️☀️ and it was glorious.
She who sun worships cannot be inside sleeping whilst sun is shining…. so she chooses to stay awake and fight it for the good of some vitamin D.
We then got invited to our neighbours garden for some drinks at 4pm. It was so lovely to be outside chatting to people. Almost normal. We’ve missed that over the winter. Of course I took my 0% With me, this time Peroni.
You know what, I feel so much better, I forced through the tiredness and looking back I can see how much energy I put in to feeling tired. It causes a lot of stress for me.
The stress has gone, replaced by some nice chat with lovely people. Guess that’s the way to do it.
Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️