A lovely wee catch up with Lea last night. Check me being out late and not in my jammies until after 9pm. That’s a theme for this weekend…. 😬

So yesterday wasn’t without its issues. I may have said but I was very dizzy walking around the shopping centre. I’m hoping it’s just the anxiety. I could feel waves of panic rising every now and then. It’s a very physical feeling, it’s not just in my head while it may actually be created IN my head.

I’ve a very busy weekend coming up and I’m already anxious that I don’t have time for rest. That said, we’re doing some lovely normal person things which will be tonic in their own way. I know that, I say that and yet the physical manifestation inside of me feels very different.

I called the doctor this morning, got through AND got an appointment. The receptionist said the doc would call between 8.30 and 9.30.

Something must have come up…. She didn’t call.

Though this has given me a lot of food for thought…

This life is 100% my responsibility and yet I seem to have times when I have to fight this evil twin in my head who tells me otherwise.

Only I can fix this. Only I can find the ways to fight this. The key is to use the tools when the physical feelings wash over you. That adrenaline rush you should only experience when something really bad happens.

I feel like I’m starting to be consumed by worry again rather than focussing on the positive of the present moment.

I’ve done lots of box breathing since Kinesiology on Tuesday. In for a count of 4, hold for 4, out for 4 and hold for 4. It works to a certain extent but I feel breathless sometimes.

Anyway, I’m back in The little gift shop today and that’s always food for my soul.

Look at the lovely Coronation window the Lindsay did through the week! We’ve sold so many of the wee gifts that we got in.

Looks like only 3 mugs left!

I have to admit that King Charles’ Coronation is completely passing me by. The shop will be open tomorrow and Tartan is open Monday. Just another weekend really. I am conscious that this is an historic occasion and I would like to watch it. Craig said there may be the odd highlight on TV so it’s not like I’ll miss it completely. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

The doctor finally calls me at 12 and I have a customer in. I ring straight back when I’m free. Too late. I have another call on Tuesday afternoon less than 12 hours before we fly to Iceland 🇮🇸. I’m not angry as there is no sense in that.

I’ve tried to get an eye test and they’re all full until Monday so I won’t get one before we go.

I am certain that this is all in my head and the fact that nothing’s working out appointment wise, is because I know that I can fix this on my own.

I did a post on a FB group called Menopause Warriors Scotland to talk about how I was feeling and one lady said “the one thing we need to accept is that we cannot control the menopause, once we are acceptance of that, we will manage it better”

That actually gives me some peace.

When the feelings get bad, I always scramble to make sense of it. To try to fix it. I very rarely just let it be.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

So in some other good news, I’ve made £152 for my selling spree on Vinted last weekend.

Also randomly, as this blog started out all about Covid-19… the World Health Organisation have officially declared it over.

So what was that? Just over 3 years? Who’d a thunk it at the time?!

I’m sitting on the couch, comfies on and I’m knackered. It’s been a good day in the shop! I just a bit fragile.

This too shall pass.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️