5am this morning. Wide awake. Ended up in the office for 7.15am as I may as well work at my desk than work lying in bed.

I have so much to do that I feel so disorganised. I really struggle being out of control.

Works well under pressure…. NOT!

I get in a flap and can’t think what to do first. Then I end up in the middle of 4 jobs at once….. I do know how to get out of that. I just can’t necessarily do it at the time when I’m it. It’s like I wallow in the flap and it allows me to justify how useless I am. Even as I write that I realise how ridiculous it is.

All in one big waffling paragraph. 😂

I’m so worried I forget something that’s important. Let someone down by not contacting them at the right time. Lose business because I don’t get to them fast enough. Or make a mistake. Forget to order something. Run out of parts for the build….. my list of worries is endless 😆

And this is why I write the blog…..

It’s natural that I’m tired after the weekend but I struggle with the not sleeping. (As I write this, I know so many people who sleep WAY less than me…. My heart goes out to them). I feel antsy and irritated but also really sluggish and lethargic. If I’m honest, I really think I’m missing the Fit Body Farm.

The thought of getting up at 5am does not fill me with ANY joy…. Yet I’ve a feeling that I will feel much better for it. I just have book it…. And get out of bed. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 it’s a vicious circle, you’re tired so you need sleep but when you don’t go you you feel worse for it.

I really got loads done today and am upsetting no-one. That’s the best of it! 😂

I was so grateful to see actual sunshine when I left work tonight. It was about 4.30pm when I left and the sun was low but it was shining. It was bright and it felt lovely to see it at that time of day. I had a lovely drive home.

I went out into the garden and kicked a ball around with the dogs. It was only about ten minutes but it felt great to be out in the fresh air for the first time in ages.

There was a lovely sunset.

Everything has just been a bit overwhelming really. That’s all.

We’re now watching Happy Valley, we seem to be behind everyone else in the UK who just saw the last episode. It’s quite addictive… and I’m not sure it’s been that happy at all through the first few episodes. 😂😂😂 Highly recommend it if you haven’t watched it!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️