It was the sweatiest of workouts this morning. 🥵🥵🥵 we worked really hard at the Farm this morning and if it’s possible I seemed to wear the thickest leggings and T-shirt I own. Bad move with so much running this morning. 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

I took Craig’s car as Abbie the camper van still has super glare full beam lights so I had a wee luxury drive there and back without dazzling anyone! I have bought the part I need, just need to get it fitted and she she should be back to normal soon.

As soon as I got back home, I took my sweaty ass out with the dogs.

It was threatening rain but we managed to stay dry. I had a shower as soon as I got home!

I made the best smoothie for breakfast… an Alpro Protein Yoghurt, mixed with banana and oat milk. It was so good and great idea after a work out. I’ll make that again.

So… I decided to call the AA this morning to renew my breakdown cover this morning….

That’s a few hours of my life I’ll never get back.

(I should just say here for my stateside sober friends the AA is the Automobile Association and not Alcoholics Anonymous 😂)

Why is this kind of stuff so hard?!?! I’m an intelligent person (hey…. Shut it 😆) and jeezo that call was hard work. Every single year I have to phone them to remind them that we get some cover through the bank and to reduce the renewal they give me.

Finally went from £42.40 a month to £22.64 and THEN a one off payment of £70.19 and that’s us got the same breakdown cover we had this year. Done. Dusted. Why hours on the phone for that?!? Worth it though I guess!

So I met my friend Carol-ann for lunch today. Now we don’t meet up very often, the last time was a year ago but we’ve decided to make it a quarterly event!

We went to the Linwood Farm and had a THREE course weekday lunch for £9.50. A huge portion of garlic bread, a carvery main course and brownie with ice cream for dessert.

And we talked the hind legs off of several million donkeys. 😆

We put the world to rights in a big way. And what a giggle!! It was honestly the most refreshing 3 and a half hours spent with a lovely lady!!

A lovely way to spend an afternoon!

It’s still been a bit surreal after the Queen dying yesterday. We now have a King. That’s the strangest thing to say. The UK is a bit crazy just now and I just think losing the Queen is another huge change that we weren’t really ready for. She was a constant in an ever changing world and commanded a unique respect in the world. When you said the Queen, the world thought of her.

Here’s a selection of what I’ve seen today. Lovely tributes.

I have my feet up now, may never eat again and will no doubt have a super early night.

Here’s to a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I’m really sad to hear that members of the Royal family have been called to the Queen’s Scottish residence, Balmoral, this afternoon, as she has been placed under medical supervision.

Oh my god as I write this I went to check the time of that press release and it’s been updated…. To show our Queen has died. 💔

I can’t believe it. It’s a real shock as she doesn’t seem to have been ill, not that we know of. It seems like the family may not have made it in time. So very sad.

Elizabeth II held the longest reign in British history, for 70 years. She was just 25 when she came to the throne in 1952.

She was the Queen of 15 nations and head of the Commonwealth of 54 countries.

She has been one constant in an ever changing world. It’s the end of one of the most remarkable reigns in the British monarchy.

I’m trying to type as they speak on the BBC and they said that she said this at the start of her reign and again at her Platinum Jubilee.

Throughout all of my life with all of my heart, I will try to be worthy of your service.

What lovely and powerful words. I’ve often thought how hard her life must have been constantly in the public eye.

Flags are being lowered. I took a photo of the tv to show this lovely rainbow as this flag was lowered on BBC News.

Charles is now our King and head of state and Camilla is Queen Consort.

I wanted to go on and talk about an 85 year old man I met at work today. He really inspired me and I told him that he was an inspiration. It’s doesn’t seem the place to talk about him just now.

I’ve never been a massive royal but this is the end of an era and a very sad moment and huge change for our country.

The BBC have advised we will receive a statement shortly from our new King. Even saying those words are so surreal. We’ve only ever had a Queen.

Stay very safe everyone ♥️🇬🇧♥️

Jeez I could just go to bed and sleep and it’s only 6.22pm and I have crochet tonight at 7pm.

I woke at 3.24am this morning and then tossed and turned until the alarm at 5am.

My headlights are stuck on main beam at the moment so I need a new indicator and headlight stalk…. It seems to be a common fault with Transporters so I had to drive very tentatively this morning. There’s a sweet spot you can hold the stalk and get the full beam off but it’s a very fine line between that and flashing your headlights so either way someone gets a blast of light if my hand slips or I drive over a bump. I talked my way through it this morning and congratulated myself when I got it right and passed someone without dazzling or blinding them! Hard work though!

The sunrise was beautiful as we ran around the Farm this morning. No photos as we working out at the time but I was so tempted to go and get my phone, it was a really deep red. The above photos were taken closer to 7.30am.

On the way home tonight a wee family of stoats crossed the road in front of me, one after the other as if in a conga chain!

I obviously couldn’t take a photo but it was the cutest thing ever….. their wee legs all running like crazy to cross the busy road… thankfully they made it!

Took the pups out for a walk after work and the clouds were lovely.

I want to see something in this next cloud but I’m not sure 🤔 a mouse maybe?!

So that’s all from me. I’m off into crochet tonight as I said with my wee baby cardigan that I’ve been crocheting. I am not a fan of any thing baby but it’s the first pattern I’ve followed so I’ve enjoyed the concentration required to make it.

A change is as good as a rest!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It reads like is says on the label, I don’t have much to say today. Check me.

This keeping busy at work malarkey silences my noisy brain and keeps it focussed.

I didn’t sleep well last night as Snorey McSnoreson made a rare appearance… and managed to fall asleep before me so I was doomed….

That said, I have been doing lots of word searches and sudoku and maybe doing that as you’re trying to sleep it isn’t the best wind down?? Ok so yeah some of it’s on me.

A good day at work… then home and out with hoddit, doddit and ploddit.

Lots of sniffing going on!

Bhru checking out the big bull! 🐂

It doesn’t look that big in the photo but he’s a big lad with a ring in his nose.

I’ve cooked a healthy dinner and made lunch for tomorrow and it’s 7.30pm and I’ve just sat down.

Nothing else to report. Hope you’ve all had a calm day.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Well it’s not that I’ve run out of money…. As I didn’t have it before the holiday….. But it was definitely back to normal today.

FIVE AM ALARM 😱

That was a shock to the system.

It was torrential rain when I woke up, so much so, the thought crossed my mind just to stay in bed. I sat up before I was even fully awake, it’s now or never.

The drive to the Farm was pretty hairy. The roads were really badly flooded and I had to drive up the centre of the road to stay out of the rivers that had formed at either side!

My main beam headlights got stuck on half way there and if I put my lights on, I have main beam now. Joy. We’ve not even paid for the other car yet let alone having to fork out some maintenance on the van?!? I reckon that stuck on main beam is better than no lights at all. 🤨😆

I felt really energised this morning and thought the workout was hard, I enjoyed it.

By the time the session finished the sun was shining and it’s been glorious and up to 20°C for most of the day… not a hint of rain since!

I was determined not to feel awful about going back to work today. I used to DREAD going back to my last place. With every ounce of my being. Yet today I was looking forward to getting back to a bit of routine.

I did say to myself that I would not be in control at all today as I don’t know what’s happened for the last week, and that is ok. i thought about that a few times today.

So it was a great day. Paperwork tidied up, back on track fitness wise, food shopping done and put away after work and about to go to the village meeting about speeding traffic… the one I thought I was going to mid August! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I did actually shop very differently today and I feel like I made some sacrifices with my purchases to try and keep costs down. I bought turkey instead of chicken, beef frying steak instead of steaks, salad tomatoes instead of vine tomatoes…. That kind of thing. I got almost a full weeks’ shopping for only £63. I felt like there were a lot of people standing around staring at prices today. I couldn’t get into the pork steaks for one wifie checking prices for ages! 😆

So that’s all from me today. Good to be back and despite the drama I caused during my holiday, I feel refreshed and relaxed so can’t ask for anything more.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Not kidding…. As I typed afternoon tea there, predictive text just changed it to tears!! What does that say about my life?!? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Anyway…. Whilst hoping there are no afternoon tears, this has very much been a day of two halves for me.

I didn’t sleep that well, was up to the loo at least 3 times which is quite unusual for me and I went to bed and woke, with a thumping headache.

It was so dark last night we had candles burning… maybe it was just that.

We dozed on and off until just after 9 when I finally got up and had a shower to see if that would shake the headache. Trying not to pop pills for nothing these days.

This is my last day of holiday and safe to say it went nothing like the romantic image I had of 10 days off work….

I’ve spent a large part of the week being in a state of…… you know I have no idea how to describe it so let’s just leave it as I’ve spent much of the time off in a state.

Even after my shower I still felt awful.

I tried to write it all down. Just be very grateful that I wrote it down on paper and not here, for you all to read as it’s some jumbled up nonsense.

I think the jist of it is that I struggle to know how best to fill my days when I genuinely have nothing to do.

Now I realise that most people would kill for a day with nothing to do. This has been a week with a whole lot of nothing to do and I’m BORED.

All around me I see things that I “should” be doing but do not want to do. My inner child has a tantrum when I even think about doing some of that stuff.

Yet I have absolutely NO idea about what I’d rather be doing and a holiday abroad in the sun is not an option as I’ve said before. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤨😆

As I write I see a book lying on my desk. It was given to me by my lovely friend June, AGES ago and I’ve never read it. Always meant to but never actually got into it.

Yet today it’s screaming for me to pick it up.

I have the Jonathan Livingston Seagull too and thought I should read that first but my gut says no…… the first few pages talk about someone how works in automobiles. ✅

It goes on to say that there was a village of creatures that live in the river bed and are all clinging on watching the river flow by.

Wow. As dramatic as it sounds I have been so overwhelmed by boredom. If I stop thinking that there’s something wrong with me then maybe I will start to live my life again?

My headache is gone.

I deliberately make no plans for the weekend as plans can be overwhelming. I deliberately wait until the last minute to do anything so that I can see how I feel first. I obsessively need to know that the weekend is mine to do as I choose. Maybe now I am ready to start living again and stop hiding?

I’m almost finished the book already but I firmly believe I was meant to read it when I felt ready to hear what it told me.

I was out putting things away in the van and thought to myself I must take something for lunch tomorrow that I can heat up in the van.

An hour later the doorbell went and it was Holly from the pub next door with some soup to be eaten up. ✅ that will do me nicely and is far tastier than anything else I would have taken with me from our cupboards.

I’d been saying to Craig about us going out for coffee and cake as we never do that together so Craig booked a wee afternoon tea at the Bowfield Hotel near us. ✅

It has been pouring with rain all morning so I’d been putting summer clothes away that I hadn’t worn this year. I had literally just touched a skirt and top and thought (sadly) how I’d never got the chance to wear them this summer. Out comes the sun and it’s scorching and I wear the clothes I just thought about wearing. I’d have been soaked and freezing wearing them this morning! ✅

We had a really lovely wee afternoon tea. We don’t go out much these days, we both made an effort and there was perfume and aftershave involved! Just like old times. ✅

The food was lovely and we cleared the plates and it was lovely to spend time out together and not just in the pub next door. A wee date Sunday!

So lots of food for thought today. It’s no wonder I’m constantly knackered with all this intense thinking but my head screams at me when something isn’t right and I need to figure out what it’s telling me.

So it’s Sunday night again. Back to 5am alarm, Fit Body Farm and work. Back to weight loss meditations and healthy eating plans as I’ve got about 10 weeks until I turn the big 50. 🤨

Here’s to a great week ahead for you all.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I’ve had a really lovely day today but it doesn’t make for exciting reading.

It’s a dull and overcast day today so I fell my activities have matched the weather. It’s been so dark at time and rain is coming but it doesn’t seem to have come to much.

We tag teamed the housework this morning which is always great. Done in jig time.

Craig went out into the garden and picked these flowers and I was very impressed with the composition!

He even cleaned the windows before sticking them in a vase on the window ledge. Everything feels clean.

I took the dogs out for a walk as the countdown to the Rangers-Celtic Old Firm derby began.

Since then I’ve been upstairs in my bedroom office and I’ve done all kinds of positive things. Energy toning movements, meditation for weight loss (not been doing that for the last week so been shovelling junk again), word searches and puzzles and crochet…. Following an actual pattern and not just going round and round in circles making a square (ok, you know what I mean!!)

I’ve had a self care Saturday and it was really lovely.

I couldn’t stay awake and needed up in the spare bed having way over a two hour nap!! Was bliss.

I have chicken Fajitas on for dinner with all the trimmings. That’s the benefit of the weight loss meditation, it stops me just calling a takeaway.

And then this….. this is going to take some mulling over big time….

Let go of the idea that something is wrong with me?

My life is based on the premise. I am less than….

Yet I am just me. Super sensitive, overthinking but that’s what makes me, me. Hmmmmmm…

Wow.

Ok so that’s all from me tonight, Mr A’s team lost today but he says the best team won by far so can’t argue with that.

Happy Saturday night y’all. oh and this just went racing past the window….

Random 🤨

Kinda feel for the horse the speed they had it going at… anyway…

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Craig was off work today so I took a wee jaunt with him to Kilmarnock while he went for an eye test.

I’ve not been there in ages and the town centre has really sadly lost most of its shops. I had a wee wander then sat on a bench outside waiting for him. It’s another nice day today but not as sunny as yesterday.

We decided to go for brunch at a new place called the Duke, on John Finnie Street.

It was really lovely. Kilmarnock doesn’t seem to have a lot of investment anymore and yet this place is stunning inside, very plush. It turns out it’s a Buzzworks pub.

I had pancakes, bacon and maple syrup which Craig had hollandaise eggs. Their Oat milk cappuccino was lovely too. A really nice surprise and better than the Costa we used to go to when we lived in Kilmarnock.

Finally Craig’s car is ready for collection. On the last day of my holiday (naturally!) AND it’s not fixed despite being off the road for over a week. Happy days. Needs more investigation. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So Abbie the camper van and I drove to Dalry this afternoon to take a very special lady down to Portencross beach for the afternoon.

Shelagh, who helped me navigate through my first 3.5 years of Kinesiology is going through treatment for cancer. She’s finished chemo last week and felt strong enough to go for a walk down at the beach.

I cannot tell you how lovely it was to see her. She reckoned I was her last client at the start of February. It’s been too long!

She’s tackling this head on with every positive treatment she can think of.

It was so lovely to talk to her today and hear about her journey over this year.

She’s a real inspiration to me. 💕

We went for a walk down the coast towards Hunterston.

We went for a paddle in the wee harbour.

I wore my long shorts today incidentally.. 😆 just as well as it turned cooler as the day went on. We probably stood in the sea for about half an hour paddling around. it was really lovely and grounding.

We had to dodge all the jellyfish as there were quite a few. The conversation flows freely, no need to fill every gap…. just spending time out in nature enjoying every minute of the peace.

We had another wander around. The sky is pretty cloudy now but really atmospheric.

I could stay here all day just watching the sea. There’s so much to look at, gannets diving for fish, yachts sailing past and clouds swirling.

The rocks here are fascinating too.

Portencross is such a special place and it was so lovely to share it with Shelagh today.

The views more special because I was over on Arran yesterday.

It was lovely to spend time with her today and meant a lot to me.

I dropped Shelagh back home and made her promise to ask anytime she fancied another trip out.

Willing her on for the next stage of recovery ❤️‍🩹

I popped into the pub next door when I got home and stayed for a couple of Coke Zeros. And caught up on village news!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

What a difference a day makes. I know, I know… how many times have I said that before?!? I cannot tell you the relief that comes with that last wee episode being over.

I woke up calm and relaxed and determined to make the best of the rest of my holiday. So here I am on the Isle of Arran, sitting directly across the bay from Brodick harbour watching CalMac’s Isle of Arran head back out to Ardrossan.

So here’s a snapshot of my trip today.

It is a beautiful day. The forecast is for sunshine and thankfully my head is finally calm and able to enjoy it.

I feel way more grounded than I did yesterday. That antsy, unsettled feeling has gone.

There’s hardly a sound.

That’s why I walked all the way around the bay…. To be as far from other people as I could.

That sums it up. The universe whacked me with its 2 by 4 this week. I went to Kinesiology, got help and now I’m back on track.

The bad stuff that had me worried hasn’t changed. I still need to review my options to allow us to do better than to just (financially) “get by”…. But I’m not screaming like some spoiled toddler at the thought of looking into it. I’m able to accept I couldn’t get abroad for a holiday or away in the van. None of that matters just the here and now and knowing everything will work out the way it’s meant to.

There is always a bright side.

I can’t see that when I have a bad day. The noise in my head is incessant. I am all over the place. Completely irrational.

I couldn’t have come over to Arran by ferry yesterday as I knew I still felt bad yet here I am today like Heidi the mountain goat, skipping around the place, relaxed, calm and revelling in the present moment. what a relief to be back.

I set off around 8.30am and drove to Ardrossan harbour where I parked in the long stay car park. The CalMac ferry costs £8.60 to get over to Arran and back. We can’t even get to Glasgow from home for that amount. I couldn’t believe how cheap it was.

They’re doing work on Ardrossan pier so you do have to walk onto the car deck.

Arran was in the middle of a lovely cloud inversion.

The sailing was lovely. So calm and beautiful in the sunshine.

I couldn’t believe this butterfly photobombed my zoomed in shot. I thought it was a bird and looked up from my phone only to find it was a butterfly right in front of my face! I’m attracting them from everywhere just now!

CalMac’s famous red funnel looks amazing against the blue sky.

So todays funny Julie story is all about my denim shorts. 🩳 I have two pairs, one long which I don’t really like and one short which I really love. The short shorts do not leave the house…..they are not obscenely short but they are short. i really wanted to wear them and Craig said they looked great but I felt like I was too old to walk about in them. I set off wearing them but packed my leggings at the last minute.

When I got to Ardrossan I changed into the leggings…. There, that feels better…. First woman I see is older than me and wearing way shorter shorts than my short shorts. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🥴😂

Now to be fair, it was cold on the ferry over at times so I was glad of the warmth but first thing I did when we docked was get out of the leggings and back into the shorts.

I am leading my legs around for all to see and it’s ok…. I am surviving.

Anyway I digress, again, what’s new. (Just thinking when you read this, you never really know which version of me you are going to get… least that way it’s never dull…🥴😆)

Goat Fell dominates Brodick bay. It’s called that as it’s shaped like the head of a goat and stands at 874m and is one of 4 Corbetts on Arran.

I took a walk around the bay, into a couple of shops but was heading right across from where this photo is taken so I can look back at the town.

One of my favourite Arran photos from years ago is on the right and a similar shot taken today!! How sad….

Love the cloud reflections in this next one.

Beautiful bright red berries against the blue sky!

And finally down onto the beach.

The tide is coming in and I love sitting here writing and watching it. Here comes the Caledonian Isles again so I guess I’ll be on the Isle of Arran ferry heading back… getting my toenails done at 5.15 and didn’t want to cancel and wait another few weeks.

So here’s todays way happier face in comparison….almost as bright as the first one last week and WAY happier than that one I took on Monday morning. It will come.

Stick with the bad times and always see them through. You may not know it but better times are ahead of you.

I’m going to stop this for now and enjoy the rest of my day. I’m sure there will be a million more photos to share but they can wait.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement through the tough times. It means a lot.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️