Wow what is wrong with me, why am I so exhausted I just need to sleep…. Everything feels like an effort. I’m like a lead brick dragging myself along again today.

I woke up at 5.05am with a hand on my shoulder… the voice asking if my nose was blocked….. hmmmm yeah I guess….. wasn’t entirely certain of the answer the minute I opened my eyes….. but logic suggests the answer is expected to be yes.

Then of course I was wide awake. I went to blow my nose and take a hay fever tablet!

I came through to the sun room and sat on Grans chair to read for a bit. Must have fallen back asleep only to be woken up by a herd of Border Collie “elephants” at 6.54am…. 🐶 🐶 🐶

Maybe that’s why I’m tired…. It feels more than that but I was speaking to a good friend yesterday who had a very good point…. When you are healing from something there is a tendency to worry that a feeling is a step back to the dark days, rather than just what everyone else feels.

I’ve been lethargic all week. Sleep doesn’t satisfy the tiredness really, I just want more.

I’ve also done virtually nothing. I did try this morning, I’ve been pruning and weeding but I found it all a huge effort… maybe that’s because I felt I “should” do it rather than what I wanted to do.

Anyway, I’m moany today so I just need to be out this brain fog for work tomorrow otherwise it will be a long day! Ooh not to mention the 5am alarm for the gym…… I’m pre-dreading it!!

So I’m gonna stop moaning and mumping and focus on the good stuff. It’s warm today. Not super sunny but warm enough to be out in shorts and vest top. Craigs been a man on a mission since about 7am which is great! He’s weeded and pruned way more than I have. He pressure washed all the decking. It just needs to dry and then be stained later on in the week.

He’s also burned loads of old wood that was lying round our garden… along with all the weeds we picked.

So I’m sitting outside with my book… caring still on the move and can’t sit down. Maybe he borrowed my energy today and now has double?!

Hope you’ve all had a lovely weekend and enjoy what’s left of it. I will mostly be reading or sleeping or eating. In the sunshine if I can!

Stay safe everyone ☀️🌞☀️