Wide awake at 4.18am. To be fair I think I was awake long before it but I finally gave in.

🤣🤣 not quite… but I did pick up my phone in an effort to quell my caffeine induced alertness. It was not to be. I tried to sleep but I was getting angry that I was so wide awake.

Last nights chatter was running around in my head. I never hide the fact that I am not great making small talk these days and over dinner our conversations went from car accidents to hospital stays… dramatic things that people talk about on a regular basis but I haven’t had much opportunity in the last few years.

I felt really dizzy after dinner. It welled up inside of me and I had to stop the conversation to take a minute. I was worried I was going to faint. A real air of fragility swept over me. So many things “could” happen in my life that might spin me off my axis again….. I think it was a wave of fear at my own vulnerability. Now please don’t think for one moment that our chat was awful and I didn’t enjoy myself…. I very much did. These are just my observations as to how conversations tend to go when you are catching up on years of little contact.

I also had coffee about 4.30pm and a Diet Coke with dinner…. It was better to get up and head into work and face all the things that were now firing on all cylinders in my head.

It’s a cold but beautiful sunrise.

I actually stopped twice on the way in to work… why not… I was in no hurry!

I’ve stopped at this river in Drybridge before. I was stunning this morning.

I could look at this next one for hours….

I wanted to get over to the right a bit to get the reflection of the sun in the river but there’s a wall right next to my right shoulder so I couldn’t… without crossing it and being in someone’s garden! Even I have a line…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

So I was at my desk at 6.45am working away and I didn’t leave until 4.45pm tonight. That’s nothing compared to what I used to do in my old job… but why is it I had to shout it from the rooftops all day?!? I wore it like a badge. I was really busy today…. So much so that the day flew in. I got stressed but it was a normal person stress at normal person issues…. Not anxiety driven panic. These last few weeks have felt very different in regards to my anxiety. It’s good.

So anyway, busy evening as Auntie Jac has popped down for the night and we went to Portencross for sunset….. it’s now 22.01 and I’ll need to throw these photos in so I can get to sleep… 🌅

It was just absolutely stunning and out of this world.

A lovely sunrise to start… a whole lotta work and a lovely sunset to end. of course my photos aren’t loading now and I’m so very tired so I might just have to go to bed and deal with this tomorrow.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️