Day 468 a contemplative Sunday morning with mum and dad visit!!

So today is the end of an era in the lounging around of The Rambling Sloth. Tomorrow I start almost full time work, well Monday to Thursday.

The old me laughs at that and thinks you’re only working 4 days a week, wuss! The new me is horrified at the restriction. I’ve had the luxury of time on my side. I’ve been able to manage my anxiety and depression in this time. I’ve done meditations, written this blog, met up with people for coffee and I’ve slept like a professional sleeper!!!

On top of all this I’m still successfully working down the medication…. although Craig is aware of an increase in negativity this week. (Note to self!)

So I need to make some sense of this in my head…. As I do….. I am so worried that I let myself down. Worried that I dissolve into a snivelling wreck at the first sign of stress. Im not worried…. I’m just a bit overwhelmed at the thought.

On the other hand, this is a completely new world and I’m a new me. I know I can do this, I know I can be a huge asset, I know I can make a difference. I just have to be a whole lot more organised than I have been in a long time. I need to manage life like everyone else does.

And then there’s the dogs. We need to make sure they are looked after properly when we’re both out. And then there’s the gym. I’m up and out so early 3 days a week.

Organisation is going to be the key to it all.

There have been tears this morning. I’m tired. Didn’t get up until after 9am…. I mean wow, long lie of champions.

I guess I am just a bit overwhelmed. I’m bigging it up into something it’s not. It’s just a couple of extra hours or work a week. End of.

I’m not sure what it means for the blog. I doubt I’ll have many readers left if all I blog about is, I went to work and came home and I’m tired. 😆😆 So I’ll take it one day at a time. See how it goes.

I’ve said all along that I write this to make sense of my feelings in my own head. Journaling is a a tried and tested way to aid recovery and it’s been a blessing in mine. I’m so lucky I’ve made some lovely blog friends along the way too. So this is not the end, maybe just a reduction in ramblings!

We’re sitting outside this morning again. Rain is forecast and in fact, it should be raining now. Instead it’s hot. The sun is desperately trying to burn through. Long may it continue as Mum and Dad are coming through to see us this afternoon and it would be lovely if we could be outside!

I’ve been out to the van and put some things away. Generally pottered and tidied up a bit. I have my gym stuff ready. My clothes for work looked out. Just need to make breakfast and lunch. It’s only 1pm and I’m more organised than an organised thing!!

So I’m sitting out here enjoys some rays.

I do still need to work at positivity. When I’m overwhelmed I let it go a bit and I need to work at that.

It’s now 7.50pm and we’ve had lovely warm weather all day. Mum and dad came over and we had an afternoon tea from the village pub next door! Was soooo good!

There were only 4 of us and enough food to sink the titanic twice. Lovely to have a nice wee catch up sitting around in the garden. Forgot to take any more pics!

After mum and dad left we popped into the pub and then Claire and I took the dogs out.

So I’ve had a lovely day once my mind stopped whirring and analysing everything. It’s been lovely to actually relax and enjoy some mental downtime.

Tomorrow is a new day and I will approach it positively. Everything is ready to go for the gym and work. Let’s go smash this!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️