It just hasn’t stopped all day….. pouring!

Despite the miserable weather, I’ve had a good day.

I slept like a log last night. Out for the count and didn’t move until I woke about 5.30am. It felt so good. That’s what caffeine free coffee does for me!

I was super toasty at work. I wore warmer clothes today. The office was quiet and I got loads done. I also helped out “on the tools” today!

Where’s Julesie?!?

I just happened to be passing and ended up with a wee job. Holding the bolts with an Allen key while they were tightened from underneath. I was not remotely TERRIFIED the first time I went up in the van…. the second time… no bother at all. Life is just one long learning curve.

I really enjoyed helping out. I got myself into some strange assed positions and it took a bit of time to find the best ways to do it. But I really enjoyed it. To be fair, the part I played was hardly rocket science. 😆 Ali did all the hard work and had me to deal with at the other end… double the work 😂

Here I am up in the sky…. 😂

Also very pleased to get a mention in the Farm members group for losing weight over Christmas!!

I also managed another 17.5 hour fast today. I had my homemade lentil soup for a late morning snack, bean casserole for lunch and cauliflower and broccoli cheese for dinner. All washed down with my vitamins and back on it. This fast is so good for my head. I’m thinking differently about food and feeling so much better for it.

I’ve also thought a lot about our lovely neighbour who died so unexpectedly.

I’d messaged her daughter to express my shock and I told her that I thought her mum was a lovely lady.

In her reply she took the time to tell me that, whenever her mum talked about me, she ended it with saying “she’s a lovely girl”. Of course I didn’t expect a reply. You don’t at those times. You just want to send some love.

What a strength of character , to lose your mum so suddenly and yet, in your grief, give someone a smile. I was so incredibly touched by that. So grateful she took the time to say that.

The world needs a lot more of that. ♥️ as I said last night, hug your loved ones a bit closer.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I lay in bed. Tired but wide awake. My heart beating like a bass drum. Dammit…. That Coconut Milk Cappuccino in Gro had caffeine in it…. I forgot to ask for decaf again. 🤦🏻‍♀️

It felt like it took me forever to fall asleep, and yet…. I would talk you I’d been awake all night.

This is where the Fitbit is quite good as I don’t realise when I have slept in between. 6 hours 23 isn’t enough for me but it will have to do as I’m off to the Farm this morning. 🤦🏻‍♀️😴

The farm was really good. I was still buzzing on caffeine by the time I got there. We worked hard again this morning.

I couldn’t get a heat all day today. It was pouring for most of the day and pretty windy. I had the chills. I did have my spicy bean casserole for lunch today AND it used up 4 tins and half a tube of tomato purée out of the cupboard!! That was the real win. I have had those tins of beans for a long time.

It does just look like a bowl of beans 😂😂 it was nicer than that. Honest.

I managed an 18.5 hour fast before I ate today. Still going well.

We got a steak pie for dinner tonight courtesy of Craigs mim…. Thanks to Doug for dropping it off this morning. I had a very Scottish dinner….. my homemade lentil soup to start, steak pie and curried haggis balls for mains. 😂 who knew curried haggis balls were a thing?!?

I love this next one…. It’s so true. The office was so loud today and the heavy rain only added to it. Poor Craig’s at work but it’s giving me the evening to decompress.

Jeez I’m so dramatic at times 😂

I know….. 😂

Oh I should say I’m still following Orjenise, on Instagram, to clear 100 things out of the house by the end of January.

The last few days have been to give things back to people that you borrowed from (in the hope they don’t do the same!)

To have fresh eyes around the house and think about what you no longer use and today was to clear up all the apps on your phone. I love this focus on clearing out. A tidy house is a tidy mind for me.

So that’s all for a Monday night. Just had some sad news of the passing of a lovely lady who had a big part to play in our village. A real shock and a reminder to tell everyone that you love them. ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s 8am. I had a great, cosy sleep, I’ve woken up and something doesn’t feel quite right.

I’ve been grinding my teeth in the night. My jaw feels tense. I feel tense. As I write that I can feel tears forming but my jaw relaxing. Honestly, you should try this. Writing stuff down. It really does help.

I don’t want to spend another Sunday being grumpy.

It’s my only day off in the week and I have the fear that I need to spend it working through the list of things that “need” doing. Uh huh this old chestnut again.

So I’ve read through my FB feed on The Ramblg Sloth page and filled myself with thoughts of gratitude.

Be productive yet calm and let go of what I can’t control.

I love this next one too. This week has been very busy and full so maybe some time alone today will be good.

There is so much life still ahead of me that is doesn’t all need doing today. I know that….

I will choose to be positive today but I might have to work a bit harder at it than other days.

I really like this next one. Eckhart Tolle talks about the ego. I am really trying not to let the ego take over in my life and work on being the highest version of myself.

The bottom one is still the one that needs work. I can still be reactive but I’ve come SO far from the girl who was made redundant. She was reactive and defensive to EVERYTHING. (Capital letters mean a whole lot!! 😂)

Getting up now!

I took the dogs out before 9am and I was really het up. I don’t even know if that’s English or not….. I was wound up, tense, waiting for the worst case scenario. I heard a dog bark and was on high alert all the way round.

The dogs were great and we actually had a really good walk.

I came home and started to cry as I walked through the door. I hate that some days the dog walk is so hard for me. I build it up to be the most stressful thing ever and it’s all in my head. We had no issue today and I walk through the door and still the relief is immense. Poor Craig got the blubbering again.

Anyway, then the day took a really good turn.

We have to apply for new passports as ours ran out in 2020, when the world had stopped. We need them for Iceland in May.

With this postal strike, who knows if that will be enough time?!

We tried to take the photos in the house but couldn’t get the lighting right at all. So we headed down to Tesco in Irvine to get the photos from a passport Photo Booth…. It turns out there is a “lady” who actually takes your photo and gets it verified and gives you a code!

Who knew?!?

Now it’s £12.99, which is not cheap but hey…. Craig’s is really good. Mine is very shiny faced…. I will have it for 10 years but that is ok. I am happier with the real me now.

After our photography session, we did a food shop and then headed to our favourite Gro coffee for lunch as we got vouchers, for Christmas, from Craig’s sister, Lisa.

There was a 45 minute wait, so we went for a walk down to the beach front in Irvine.

It was wild!! So wild it was exhilarating to watch!

There was virtually no beach. I’ve never seen it like that.

None of the photos do it justice.

I’ve put a video clip up on The Rambling Sloth FB page. A wave came right in as I was filming the clip 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 to be fair it was always gonna happen.

It was bracing!! By the time Gro called us, we were ready for food. I’d done 19 hours of fasting.

I had Breakfast Tachos and Craig had a toasted sandwich with goats cheese, haggis and tomato. That was 3 hours ago and I’m still full. Just shows me how my stomach has shrunk by fasting. We brought cakes home but I still can’t even think about eating them!

But I will….. 😂 puppers in the photo to show just how big the cakes are!!

I’ve made lentil soup and I have a Bean Stew in the slow cooker. Check me. I don’t plan these things. I surprise myself!

I’ve had a lovely day and just like that it’s Sunday night already. Here’s to a great week for us all.

Stay safe everyone ♥️🧁♥️

Jeez I’m tired now. It’s half 1 on Saturday afternoon and I think I’ve hit a wall. 3.5 days back into Julie two jobs and I’m ready for a rest!

This was the scene when I left this morning….

Could she be any more cute?!? Bhruic has a ball on the floor that Calaidh needs…. 😂

It’s been another lovely morning in the little gift shop. There’s been a steady stream of lovely customers all morning. I got a chance to take some photos today.

All Christmas stock is half price. I had to try and walk away with nothing today. 😂

It’s emptied out quite a bit now getting ready for new 2023 stock to arrive… although Gayle is at the mercy of the delivery companies now! We did get a good few lovely things in though…. Here’s a wee sneak preview of the colour of things to come!

Wonder what these might be for?!?

I managed to clean the windows in Abbie the Campervan this morning. Some before work and the rest after. The windscreen was really bad after I had to scrape the frost off the inside the other day. I finally remembered to clean it and it’s like a whole new world has opened up before me!!

I’m back home and had a bite of lunch along with my vitamins. I managed a 16 and a half hour fast today. I should say that the app I’m using is called Zero. It’s really good as I “stop fast” the minute I put something in my mouth the “start fast” again the minute I stop eating. I’m very precise about it!! 😂

This also reminds me that I am a regular filler-inner of the Balance app which is for women of a menopausal age. (My grammar wins again!)

It’s a really good way of keeping a track of your symptoms if you think you are peri or post menopausal.

My symptoms are lessening by the day now that I’ve lost that dreadful fear I had before Christmas.

I have scheduled and phone appointment with the doctor, on Wednesday, between 11 and 1, for my 3 month HRT review. I have an appointment on 18th to have the Mierna coil fitted, which will deliver progesterone on a daily basis, internally. It will save me taking tablets a fortnight on and a fortnight off.

That is what I wanted and yet, now as the time comes, I’m not sure whether to get it or not.

I know it will hurt when it’s fitted and I am worried if will knock my new equilibrium off balance. (Check me talking about equilibrium’s eh?! I do think I’m more balanced than I have been for a long time though!)

So I need to make a decision soon. So that someone else can have my space if I chose not to get it.

The first month of HRT gave me a very heavy and painful period so I think I got a fright. I hadn’t felt cramp like that in a long time. The last two have been so much less painful. The second was virtually nothing and this one is heavier but not sore.

Ok I’m away down a rabbit hole again. I know this is very personal information to share but I want to help normalise the chat around this time in women’s life. Maybe help you guys understand why we turn into she-devils at times. 😆

Anyway…. I have to decide what to do!

So I’ve been out in the back garden cleaning up while I kicked tennis balls for the dogs… trying to tire them out. Came back in and hung up a washing and sat down in Gran’s chair, for a wee nap in the afternoon sunshine.

It’s lovely and warm with the sun streaming through the windows. For those of you new to the blog, I used to while away the days in Gran’s chair, when I was sick. It’s her old recliner chair that I got when she died. It’s constantly covered in a big fleece blanket but it’s super comfy for a nap. I just don’t use it so much anymore. A sign of healthier times!

Just reading that back and I’ve waffled something rotten tonight. 😳😆

Craig and I have actually been out for dinner. Out out…. We went to Scott’s in Largs with a voucher I got for my 50th birthday from my brother, sis-in-law and nephew.

Now we don’t go out much and we were very lucky to have a voucher but jeeeeez, it was expensive. There’s a surf and turf on the menu for £44.95!!! I quite fancied that too…. 😂

Craig had fish and chips and I had chicken tempura with chilli and Parmesan chips.

He had salted caramel cheesecake and I had a tablet sundae. It was sugar overload but out of this world.

It’s only 7.30pm and we are home already. Fastest service in the west 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 To be fair. That’s my kind of night out. Nice meal, followed by jammies and a movie….. life in the fast lane eh?!?

Hope you all have a lovely Saturday night. I’ve hit “start fast” already!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

All good after the jags yesterday…. The Covid arm is really sore, I can hardly lift it, I can’t lie on it and I CAN’T ALLOW A DOG TO STAND ON IT!!!!! 😆😘

It’s funny though, as I managed the FBF really easily, as soon as I actually got it moving. We worked so hard this morning that I didn’t have time to think about how sore it was!

It was a great workout. I really enjoyed it. Losing the weight through fasting has really helped my energy levels.

I thought I should give a wee bit more info on intermittent fasting for those that are interested.

It’s not for everyone and you need to look into it before you start fasting, but it’s definitely working for me. She who is far too lazy to cook 3 meals a day. 😆

Intermittent fasting is a pattern of eating that involves regular periods of fasting, typically for 16-24 hours at a time, followed by periods of non-fasting. It is not a specific diet, but rather a dietary pattern that can be adapted to fit individual needs and preferences. Some of the potential benefits of intermittent fasting include:

Weight loss: Intermittent fasting may help you lose weight by making it easier to stick to a calorie-restricted diet. It may also increase the number of calories you burn, as your body uses stored energy (fat) for fuel during periods of fasting.

Improved insulin sensitivity: Intermittent fasting may improve insulin sensitivity, which can help lower the risk of type 2 diabetes.

Increased mental clarity: Some people report feeling more alert and focused after periods of fasting, possibly due to a decrease in insulin levels and an increase in the production of norepinephrine (a neurotransmitter that plays a role in alertness).

Longevity: Some research suggests that intermittent fasting may increase lifespan by reducing the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, cancer, and Parkinson’s disease.

However, intermittent fasting is not right for everyone, and it is important to consider the potential downsides before starting this type of dietary pattern.

The biggest win for me is that I go to bed and wake up without feeling bloated. It means I eat less when I am eating. I am taking control of my weight loss without weighing and measuring, cooking and baking. I take lots of vitamins when I’m not fasting.

For this moment in time it is working for me and long may that continue.

I managed another 16 hours today.

When Craig and I got home from the farm, we got straight back into bed and slept until 9.30am. I never do that! My head was sore when I woke up…. So sore I could hardly open my eyes, but paracetamol helped almost immediately.

Other than the sore arm, I’ve felt fine all day.

The little gift shop was great. We were still really busy and the day flew in. There’s lots of new stock coming in for pricing and it’s all getting ready for display. I love unpacking boxes and seeing what’s next.

We had lots of great chats. It’s great for the soul.

I came home and have made cauliflower and leek cheese, if that’s even a thing.

All I’ve done is steam two leeks and a cauliflower until they were soft. Then add a little oil and a stock pot, into the frying pan… mix it all round with half a tub of 50% fat cracked pepper soft cheese. some grated cheese sprinkled over the top. It’s lovely.

Quiet night for us I think. Waiting on Craig to finish work. He never stops these days… not that I’m complaining.

Oh and that reminds me, day 6 of Orjenise is to clear out your medicine box. I’ll have to do all of these last few days at the weekend.

Happy Friday night and hope you all have a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Not sure why I look so sad in this picture…. but I have just been double jabbed! I got my 4th covid vaccination today and my first ever flu jab.

I was really nervous and thought about cancelling…. I’m not sure why. All these vaccinations feel wrong to me and yet as mum said tonight, is it any worse than the sugar etc we put in our bodies all the time and maybe not?

Over 50’s are automatically given the flu jab in Scotland. I’m over the moon to be 50 as you know…. NOT…. 😆

The whole process was seemless. Big signs saying no photos or video now…. But I was no sooner in the door, registered, and in for the jags. I have COVID in my left arm and the flu jab in my right arm.

I am not a fan of an injection.

I try not to feel super dizzy as I feel the contents of the vaccination flow into my body….. the mere thought gives me the shivers. 😂

Anyway, as I said. Seemless. All done and dusted without any drama, except that which went on in my head. 😂 the usual…

We had another pupper in the office today. This is Radley the Bedlington. I got huge cuddles when I came in this morning!

Orjenise is all about removing all the plastic bags from your cupboards. Food banks and charity shops might take them but free up that cupboard space and also try REALLY hard not to keep buying more. Reuse or recycle!

And last buy by no means least….. Craig has published a wee book on Amazon Kindle!!! I mean honestly who knew…. I didn’t until he did it!!

Barking 101: Understanding and Managing Barking in Dogs

It’s free on Kindle Unlimited and £4.18 if you don’t have unlimited.

This is a shameless plug as I am so proud of him!! He has worked so hard over Christmas, he hasn’t taken a single day off.

Please feel free to share this with anyone you know who may be interested!

So I’m off for a fully vaccinated early night. Way too much excitement for one day.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

After I posted the blog yesterday, Claire sent me this!

I can confirm that emails are, indeed, back. Customers are also back as Tartan Campers are back in action.

It’s been a really good day. Really busy and the day went really quickly.

Craig’s alarm went off at 4.45am. I was about to launch into a diatribe about his alarm going off when we were in holiday…. When the realisation suddenly hit me, that we had to actually get up. 🤦🏻‍♀️ ugh…. thankfully I chuckled as I knew what was about to come out my mouth. It was a good start to the day.

The Farm was great today. Lots of weights and running. 🏋🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ I really enjoyed it and have done 11,958 steps today. I also fasted for 18 hours and 13 minutes. I’m on a mission and loving it!!

Orjenise is a nice easy one today, thankfully… clear out your purse!

I popped into Claire’s after dinner for a hot chocolate, some Lindt Teddy chocolate and a huge catch up! Not seen her for ages!!

Thought you’d have a giggle seeing how I organise my life. Check these reminders….

This is how I manage my HRT. Tonight I stop the progesterone for 2 weeks….. I’m not sure how I managed to have a start and stop reminder on the same day. I like it though, it kinda sums me up. I have to change my patch tonight too… Craig the patch changer is out at work, dammit! 😆😘

So I have my Covid and flu jag after work tomorrow night. Not gonna lie, am not fancying it at all but hey, guess I better get it over with. I just feel like I’ve got all my ducks in a row and I don’t want anything to mess that up….. was fine after every other Covid jag mind you….. hmmmm. I am overthinking……. Yip, it has been known!!!

That’s all from me for today… wish me luck tomorrow. 😩😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

You reach a milestone and yet the next day always comes. That’s for sure.

After a very frosty and cold night, we woke to rain and it’s barely stopped all day. I’m just back from a dog walk and got soaked.

We had a long lie…. I actually didn’t have the best sleep but to be fair, I was in bed for about 12 hours so can’t complain.

So I’m following an Instagram account called Orjenise. The Windsor Waffle, my blogger friend, recommended her. Her name is Jen and it’s a play on the word ORGANISE. It’s only taken me over a year to figure that out!! It made me laugh so much when I did.

So Jen has run her Orjenise 100 campaign for 3 days now. The plan is to remove at least 100 things from your home by the end of January. I hope I have that right. 😆

Day 1 was to pull together all of your toiletries and make sure you use as many as you can during the month of January. Use things up that are half used before starting something new. She said you can donate unwanted toiletries rather than throwing them out.

Day 2 is gathering food together with a view to using what you have rather than buying more. I’ve been through all the kitchen cupboards and thrown out a few things dated 2019 and 2021. 😳

We have 5 tubes of tomato puree!!!!! 6 tins of beans…. I did just type 6 tons 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 not quite….. we have so many things we don’t use but I will now. The challenge is on…. I seem to love a challenge these days.

I’ve written a list of all the food that we have and I’ve already crossed a few things off the list that I used for lunch. I had mushroom soup that we’ve had in there, for years.

If there’s anything you are not going to use, then take it to a supermarket food bank.

Day 3 is to go through any duplicate gifts and look to return or swap them or gather any unwanted gifts for charity or to give them to someone who will use them.

So the kitchen was my biggest success. I started a count of everything I threw out but to be honest, I’m not gonna keep that up. I chucked out about 30 things today so I think I’ll achieve the 100.

The key for me will be keeping it going when I get back to work, but it feels really good already. I love a good clear out.

So that’s been a fair part of the day. I took the dogs out after lunch and got soaked and now it seems to be half 3 already.

Bhruic is having a nice snooze…. Legs akimbo!

Tired mum!

There seems to be something about this cushion….. now Calaidh’s cuddling in to it!

So yeah, you can tell I’m ready for some routine again. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I’ve done 18 hours of fasting today and dinner is a pasta bake which is already in the oven. Not the most nutritional but I’m not going to beat myself up about that I feel so much better for fasting.

I’m not entering into January with trepidation, like I do most years.

I am excited by what each new day might bring. I’m making the most of each moment. I felt a bit rotten today but that is ok. I’ve still done a huge amount and I’ve enjoyed it. It’s not wild sea swimming with that stunning backdrop but it’s still a great day.

And this is the person that I want to be.

Back to the FBF at 6am and Tartan at 8 tomorrow.

Bring it on!!

Say safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Where do I even start?!?

A guy I used to work with, Tommy Morrison, messaged me a few months back and his message ended with, can’t wait for day 1000!

😳

What?! This was back maybe in the mid 900’s and needless to say, while I panicked and thought I’d better plan….I haven’t thought about what I’m going to write today. I’m gonna do what I do best and just let it flow.

I guess a quick recap… sorry for those of you’ve been here from the start… 😂

In September 2018, I walked out of the office in floods of tears, unable to cope with anything any more.

I fell apart. I had become a quivering, tearful and anxious wreck. I had no self worth at all. I was a people pleaser who just had no people pleasing energy left in me.

I’d hired a strong team who could see the inconsistencies of Senior Management. They wouldn’t kowtow like I had been doing. They questioned everything that was wrong in the business, everything that I had overlooked to try and keep the peace. They were right. I was being pulled in so many directions. I couldn’t possibly keep them all happy and I started to cry and didn’t really stop.

I’ve lived my life to make people happy. To make people laugh and smile so that they would be my friend.

I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was diagnosed with anxiety, which lead to depression.

After 3 months off sick, I went back to work for 5 months but I was a shadow of former self. I was terrified of everything, so off sick I went, for a second time.

Not surprisingly, my position became redundant in February of 2020. Right before COVID-19 hit and from 23 March 2020, Scotland was plunged into lockdown.

I was still pretty sick. Couldn’t even get out to think about getting a new job so my redundancy payment really helped to get us through.

I started volunteering for the local food deliveries to the elderly. I sobbed with built up tension when I got home from my first shift. I was so scared of everything. I’d lost all of my confidence.

I was so very, very sad. I cried for such a long time. I had suicidal thoughts when I’ve felt like I just couldn’t go on. That’s just brought tears…..so I think that’s enough of a recap. 😂

I started to write this blog to keep a track of life in lockdown. I did have a feeling it might help my head too. I’ve missed a couple of days when I’ve felt so bad that I just couldn’t find the words to write down but this has been my daily constant for 1000 whole days.

These last 4 years have been the most amazing journey. I am strangely, so very grateful to have gone through everything that I have. (Yeah I’ll remind myself of that on the bad days!)

I have woken up and seen the light. Stepped out of the rat race, or the matrix, and I have set boundaries. I’ve sadly lost friends, some their choice and some for my own sanity. I’m not proud of everything I’ve done during this time. Importantly, I have done it all for me. I’ve put me first. I can’t fill from an empty cup.

I’ve learned so much about myself. If you’re a regular reader you will see that writing helps me piece things together, helps me understand my emotions. My head tells me immediately when something is wrong…. It screams at me from the rooftops!!!

I’m no longer on any form of anti depressant, after having taken them for around 20 years. I’m no longer attending Kinesiology sessions. I am almost 3 months into HRT and I do feel like it’s the final piece of the jigsaw. I think we’ll need to juggle the dosage to get it right but this Christmas has been a revelation for me. I’m finally starting to relax and just be myself.

I’ve had the most amazing support from family and friends. I am so grateful for them all.

I’ve also become very comfortable with my own company and have to seek that out when I need to reset. I know immediately when I need to reset.

Most of all, I have become so acutely aware of the beauty around me…. (And I don’t mean my handsome Craig 😂).

Scotland is just so stunningly beautiful, I seek out sunrises and sunsets as often as I can. I see beauty in nature everywhere I look. I never took the time to notice any of this before.

I’ve said it very recently but this is life. Today. Right now. Here and now. The present moment. Not the holiday we have booked in May, not the boots I’ve just bought. Just this moment right now.

I am finally at peace with myself.

Check. Me.

(Oh jeez that realisation brought tears as well 🤦🏻‍♀️😂)

To add to all the excitement, I’ve been wild sea swimming again today so I’m gonna leave you with a tiny selection of my photos. I am so very grateful to Ellison and her sister Eileen, for introducing me to it. 🏊🏼‍♀️🥶☀️🫶🏼

It’s -1.5°C when I leave the house. Abbie the Campervan is frozen on the inside. I had to scrape both the inside and outside of the van.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was rising behind me as I drove. The sky in front of me was pink and purple. I drove around a bend on the way to West Kilbride, and the view of the sea and the Isle of Arran, took my breath away. I actually gasped. The sea looked green and pink from away up that road. This is where we parked at Seamill beach.

It was soooooo cold today.

We swam a good bit. It was much colder than yesterday. We had to keep moving. There were inquisitive seals around us the whole time we were out!! I didn’t get any decent photos, they just look like dots but it was fascinating to watch them.

Eileen had a wee raised campfire, with toasted marshmallows, after we got dried. I sipped my hot Chai tea as I was still fasting. Did 18 hours today.

The three of us then went for a walk as the other girls headed home.

I love this next photo…. This is the end result…. The photos to get to this are hilarious!!!

The weather totally turned and the wind picked up. The sky got so dark.

What a difference from when we went in!

I’ve had the best day. The best 1000 days really and here’s to many more of The Rambling Sloth to come. Thanks for all of your support.

If you’re on Instagram, have a look at the video clips on @theramblingsloth. 🫶🏼

Stay safe everyone 🏊🏼‍♀️🥶☀️

Happy New Year!! Day 999 wow…. That’s a fab number 😂

Can any of you believe it’s 2023?! Even typing that just now seems like a really big number. I remember back to the millennium where the thought of anything in the 20’s seemed quite space age and futuristic. 😂

I had a lovely day yesterday and we did indeed stay home, so my nails could match my jammies.

I cleaned the bedroom and the hallway, emptying wardrobes, cupboards, reorganising and finally making the Christmas bed…. Better late than never huh?!

I try to keep the dogs off it until the blanket is dry…. It was a never ending battle 😂

I fasted for 21 hours yesterday. Really easily though I had to admit, I was a bit shaky by the time I sat down to eat something.

I finished my book “Snowed in for Christmas” and then we watched tv. The Hogmanay shows were really poor this year. It’s almost as if no-one wanted to work on Hogmanay (which is fair enough) as everything was prerecorded. Even the count down to the bells on STV. None of the annual comedy shows either…. I think we probably both wished we had popped next door to the pub. But….. my night in allowed me an early morning today!

The official Loony Dook is held in South Queensferry between the Forth Rail and the old road bridges.

A loony is someone who is considered to be a bit crazy and a dook is a dip in water 😂

I met my friend Ellison, from Tartan, and her sister Eileen and some of her friends in Irvine at 9am.

Should say here, despite being very disappointed in Sports Direct initially, when my first wetsuit zip broke…. I sent it back and they processed and retuned it within about 4 days, right before Christmas. Cannot fault that service!

It was lighter than it looks in the photos, but so still and calm after last nights wind and non-snow. The forecast had been for loads of snow and it didn’t happen.

I arrived early so went to take some photos… naturally. 😂

Look at the debris on that box like structure. The storms have brought in loads of branches and logs.

There’s not a sound. Barely a breathe of air and a handful of people around. I only passed about 4 cars the whole trip there. Zero driving anxiety today!

And breathe….. 🧘🏻‍♀️

Ellison and I in our matching wetsuits… I kept calling it a onesie 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I went to put on my new gloves and they were both right hands!!!! One day my wild sea swimming kit will behave and be in order. Thankfully one of the other girls had spare gloves. So kind of her to lend me them.

As we walked out the cold seeps everywhere…. The wetsuit socks make a huge difference, from the last time I went in without any, and allow me to walk straight in. It’s cold and I did still feel it in my feet until we got swimming.

I absolutely loved every minute of it.

I am still buzzing.

It was out of this world.

A truly magical experience.

You get the picture.

I haven’t stopped grinning.

The water is just so calm and peaceful. We had so many laughs as one of the guys had a hole in his wetsuit. Our giggles carried across the water.

I also realised I could use my float as a pillow at one point. Had a wee float around!

Here’s the whole group. What a lovely bunch. They made me feel so welcome.

By the time we are out of the water, the cold really starts to take hold.

It’s so hard to get dried when your skin is that cold. I’d deliberately taken loose, warm clothes and I they stuck to my ice cold skin. I started to chitter so got dressed as fast as my cold hands would allow.

Just as I was getting ready to leave I noticed a group of Gateside girls heading for the sea so we all had a new year hug! I could hardly speak 😂

I drove straight up the road and got into bed, fully dressed as Craig had put the electric blanket on! Bliss!

I stayed in bed for almost 2 hours and then realised we had to be in the pub for 1pm…. Got showered and ready super fast.

New Year’s Day is big in our village. Lots of people come out to the pub to wish each other a happy new year.

Quick change!!

I have had THE best afternoon. Honestly, I have just hugged, chatted and laughed all afternoon.

Holly bought me in Nosecco so I had a whole bottle to myself. I’ve also managed about 4 0% gin and tonic…. There is only so much fizz you can drink when it’s not alcohol….. I’m full to bursting 😊

Here’s a selection of photos from the day!

I don’t think I’ve stopped grinning….

We played the best game. Now I detest games with a passion. (Wonder why, must explore that thought in future….) but this one involves adding magnets 🧲 into a string circle ⭕️ and trying to get rid of all of your magnets first. If you attract any when you place yours down…. You have to add them to your stack. What a hysterical laugh we have had.

Just the best day.

One of our neighbours Michelle, came in to specifically buy Craig and a drink…. How lovely is that?! Very special.

Rachel two doors down went a bit crazy over last orders and ended up with THE largest Boë Violet gin!!

So we’re back home now and just had the traditional steak pie dinner.

A huge plateful to soak up all the fizz.

I’m back on the fasting now…. About to get the comfies on and choose my evening’s viewing.

While I continue to grin from ear to ear. 😁

I know this next year won’t always be as special as today but it’s been an amazing start to 2023.

Four year’s sober. I’ll wake up as fresh as a daisy tomorrow but I was right there in the thick of it all. Loving every minute.

A very Happy 2023 to you all xxx

Stay safe everyone 😁😁😁

It’s 6.52am and I’ve been researching todays blog for over an hour. Gonna put it out early today so it hits before the bells. 🔔🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🔔

I feel like I have a different approach to New Year, this year.

We usually wish everyone a Happy New Year with the thought that this next year WILL be better…. It has to be better. THIS will be (y)our year.

This is the first time I have realised that next year will have the same ups and downs as any other year. Bad things may happen, unforeseen things, things we cannot possibly control… and the year will still carry on, counting each day as it does.

Around all of these things that we can’t control, there will be things that we can control to a lesser extent. Our reactions to any of these events, our reactions to each other, the words we choose when we talk about others, the kindness we spread, or not, as the case may be.

This is my 50th Hogmanay and New Year. That’s a sobering thought. So much has past and yet I’m lucky to still be here when so many are not.

Speaking of sobering…. That’s me hit 4years alcohol free. 4 whole years (give or take this couple of days that I will never let go…. 😂)

A total of 1,458 days without the crutch that got me through life. 899 days where not a drop of alcohol has touched my lips. Ok enough with the stats…. I’m so proud of that as I live right next door to the village pub!!

Last night was the first time, in a long time, that I felt a part of the party. I didn’t single myself out for not drinking, I just relaxed and enjoyed it. The bar staff all know to give me 0%, they’ve made it a safe place for me. I didn’t feel awkward, I didn’t make myself believe they’d have had a better time if I left…. But I did still leave early.

The silence back in my house, even with 3 dogs, was deafening. I sat on the couch, cuddled the pups and took a huge deep breath in. I had a great time but I needed some space. I will allow myself that and not feel bad for it.

I digress…. Yes, again…. So, on to the new year…. I’m not going to give myself an endless list of resolutions that I’m not going to achieve. I am going to work of the following:

• I will speak my truth and then I will be calm
• I will put my needs first and then I can support others from a place of strength
• I will have faith in myself and I will even take some time to be goddam proud of myself
• I will show compassion and kindness to others
• I will be grateful for all that I have
• I will capture as many sunrises and sunsets as I can and of course I will got the sea every chance I can get 😆
• Most of all, I will be present in every moment and just breathe.

Check…. Me. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I know there will be days where anxiety gets the better of me, when tears overflow, when people challenge my inner calm….. but that’s life.

This is life, right here and now, this is it and may we all live ours to the best of our ability.

I think I might spend the day cleaning the house. Not as a chore but in a good way…. A clean house for a fresh year.

So I’ll end this by thanking you all again for being on this journey with me. If I’m truly honest with myself, I still write this more for me than anyone else. I have day 1,000 in two days and I have no idea where to start with that one!!! I had no idea what this might becoming when I started writing it in late March of 2020.

None of us had any idea of how much our lives would change in late March of 2020.

Which totally proves my point. We can only choose our reactions to the world around embrace the next 365 days.

We’ve yet to decide whether we’ll stay home so my nails match my jammies, sit outside with a campfire as we have done for the last few Hogmanays or head into the pub.

This is my favourite Hogmanay photo of us in 2014. We went to a street party in Oban, life before dogs, and I had a magical night. Face the West were headlining the stage…. Face the West are an amazing ceilidh band and I was buzzing the whole time they were on stage. They blew me away!! I was right up front, I’d never done that before. Have a look for them on Spotify if you want a wee Scottish ceilidh band blast. We still talk about my reaction that night. 💙

Happy Hogmanay from a wet and windy Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 but we are hoping for snow over the bells. That would be pretty special.

Blog published at 7.51am. I may need a nap later.

Stay safe everyone 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

It was torrential rain overnight last night…. The forecast was atrocious.

It was torrential when we got up for the Fit Body Farm. Craig drove this morning (thank you!) and the road was flooded so badly, most is the way. He just had to take his time.

There were only 8 of us today so we managed to work on the cardio machines instead of running outside… (thank you again!!!) We’d have been soaked. I wasn’t particularly feeling it today but I still worked hard.

We came home and had coffee…. Mine black obviously as still fasting and then ended up going back to bed, with the electric blanket on and 3 bounding puppers…. That w lady’s makes for a relaxing nap…. NOT!

I did get a nice warm hour though but fire I got up to meet Gayle, from the little gift shop at 11am.

We went to Mocha JaK’s (click link) at the end of our road for coffee and a cake!! Check the cakes….. Mint Rocky Road and White Chocolate Malteser slice. Uh-mAAA-zin 😋

We had a good natter and could barely move after all that cake.

I was just shy of my 16 hour fast when we met but that’s not the end of the world. I’m not going to let it change my life, just fit in around mine as best I can.

So back home to get ready for the Party in the Pub next door. One of the guys who grew up here, emigrated to Canada years ago and he’s back with his lovely family. We met him the first New Year we were here as he was over that year too. His wife sent out an invitation to the pub for this afternoon so we’re looking forward to it.

So much so….. I randomly got ready a whole hour early by mistake. 😂

I think because I was meeting Gayle, I had it in my head I would be in a rush. When I got home at 12.30 I assumed it was 1.30 and only had an hour to get ready….. so I’ve been sitting on the couch for 40 minutes now, dressed in black, trying not to attract any attention from the hairy creatures (no, not Craig 😂😂).

And just like that’s it’s 8pm!! I’ve had a lovely afternoon in the pub. Lots of laughter and chat. Lots of 0% pink gin and slimline tonic. I had to stop at the back of 6 as I thought I might burst! (also may have wanted to start my fast and not waste it just by drinking juice!) 😂

This is the only picture I got (me & Rachel two doors down!) and I’m not even looking at the camera. Didn’t even get a nice one with Craig and I. 😂

This time 3 years ago, Craig and I were camped out in John O’Groats about to start the North Coast 500 with the Overland Bound guys. We slept in a roof top tent and the dogs slept in the back of Craig’s Jeep.

Gonna be sooooo much warmer in my bed with the electric blanket on tonight!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Not a clue. I just know that I’m off on holiday and it’s really rather nice. I could get used to this.

I had the best sleep….. I remembered to take my progesterone last night which was good.

I was in bed from 8.30pm right through until 9.20am. I mean, come on, check me.

I could not wake up….. I still have a headache and twinges of cramp and sleeping was just amazing.

I finally dragged myself out of bed and got ready to take the dogs out. Was out by 10am. Was so lucky I didn’t get soaked as it’s rained on and off all day.

I laughed as I walked when I thought “todays dog walk was brought to you by animal pee and poop”… there was a stunning, big Kestrel or Falcon sitting up on a tree in a field as we walked by….. it spread its huge wingspan and took flight, as it pooped out a huge white fountain from its rear. It was amazing to see and of course, I soooo wish I’d caught it on camera.

Next was the sheep that stood staring at me, challenging as it did the longest pee. Made me smile.

Anyway, moving on….. For my 50th birthday I got vouchers from Rachel two doors down and Holly next door, for My Serenity Boutique (click link!) in Kilwinning. I don’t get much chance to get there so had it in mind to head there today. I asked Rachel if she was free and off we went post dog walk.

I forgot to take a pic of the shop when we arrived so I pinched this off their website.

I was actually shaking as I got there as I’d struggled to get parked in the car park. As usual my fight or flight just wants to head home as the car park was too busy. Rachel noticed a woman leaving and I got I her space no problem. Bloody anxiety is such a pain at times. I was convinced I was going to hit something.

So I managed to get a lovely pair of fur lined biker boots and a T-shirt. All in all I spent £2. What an amazing gift eh?!

We flew back up the road as I had a nail appointment at 1.30pm at Viv’s Nails and Beauty in Glengarnock. All go on my day off! 😂

Back to a lovely red in time for Hogmanay. It will go great with my red jammies if we decide to stay home instead of go out 😂😂

I’m still fasting. I did 18 hours today. Sill drinking plenty of water and honestly not feeling hungry at all. It seems to work for me.

Check this lovely candle my mother in law gave me.

It’s so pretty.

I was driving around today thinking how miserable this dark, wet and windy weather is. It felt quite a negative thought.

Then I realised it allows us to rest. It allows us the excuse of lighting candles, snuggling in blankets in front of the fire and generally relaxing. I love the twinkly lights against the dark.

I’ve found a few lovely things on line that I want to share.

We talked about going out for dinner tonight but I think it will be another night in instead. 😂 Can never have too much relaxation.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I’ve had a lovely day so far today, but I am shattered.

Three days of “making merry” on the trot. We’ve spent some precious time with family, we don’t do that often enough.

I didn’t get to bed until 11.30pm last night….. super late for me considering I was getting up at 5am, for the Fit Body Farm this morning.

I made it though and I’m so glad I did. It would have been so easy to stay home after a late night.

There were only 10 of us this morning but I really enjoyed the workout… I blasted Spotify on the way home and sang some tunes. Life is good after a workout.

I took Calaidh, Bhruic and Freya out for a walk but it really is a pretty dark and dreary day.

No mean feat getting down in the middle of the road to take this shot when 3 dogs are attached to your other arm!!

I’m still fasting so when I got home I started on the stairs with my magic dog hair removal brush!!! I love it.

I know this is disgusting for those of you who don’t have dogs…. But this is as good as getting a new hoover…. The stairs are a different colour now. 😂

Then I decided to have a bath. I never have a bath. I pretty much dislike having a bath but for some reason I felt the need today.

I used my new Happy Place Calm candle and body wash (pressie from Mum), with toasted marshmallow bubble bath (pressie from Holly next door) and Aveda intensive conditioning hair treatment, from my M&S Advent Calendar from my Uncle Campbell and Auntie Mo! I really miss my advent calendar as my daily treats have stopped now. it was such a lovely start to each day.

Of course I cleaned the bathroom after I used it but I was getting tired….

The pups have been sniffing me like crazy as I smell so different…. Clean maybe… they’re not used to that 😂😂

For the rest of the day I’ve been sitting in front of the fire…. In the clean Christmas onesie…. Oooh fire is about to go out…. Dammit…. Must go add some logs.

Done!

I’ve read my book. I’ve snoozed.

I have a nagging headache and the rumblings of stomach cramp so I’ve felt pretty rotten at times but I’ve been in the best place for it. Just chilling.

I managed another 17 hour fast. Today was the hardest. I was more aware of it than I usually am.

Craig’s been working most of the day. It’s such a shame he’s not been able to take a break but we need the jobs when we can get them. He is watching the football tonight so I’ll curl up in bed, with the electric blanket on. Like the sound of that already!

We had a delivery of left over Christmas food from Holly next door. I’ve made a huge feast for a late afternoon lunch/early dinner. Soooo good. We are so very lucky!!

So yeah… I’m hoping the rest of the week is as relaxing. I’m enjoying a break from work. Need to get some holidays planned for next year to look forward to (other than Iceland of course!)

This last one says it all for me. I hope I say this often enough but thank you. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this. Whether I know that you are there or not. It means so much to me that anyone would take the time to read what’s going on in my head.

A very big thank you!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

We’ve had a very lazy morning. It’s super icy here, the slushy snow froze about 7pm last night and despite a morning of rain, it’s still icy out there.

We had a lovely day with Mum and Dad yesterday. Of course I took lots of photos. 😂

Both Christmas Day and Boxing Day have just been 4 of us for the meal as our brothers and sisters had other plans. Today we are heading off to Alloa, to meet up with all of Craig’s family.

The drive over to Penicuik yesterday, was snowy on and off all the way. The Pentland Hills are up under those clouds!

Their Christmas tree was lovely too.

A lot better than the one Mum they had in 2020!!! that still makes me laugh!!

We did presents and got lots of lovely gifts.

Bhru was hoping for some snacks 😂

Oh and Craig has a bigger bauble than me….. 😂

We had a lovely Boxing Day dinner. I managed to get a bit of everything before I started my fast again at 6pm.

In between courses we sat and had a rest and got some Freya puppy cuddles.

Love these photos… I tried to take a photo of mum and dad in front of the tree and Bhru decided to get a look in.

Got a nice one though.

Then some group shots.

The puppers decided it was time to go home…. actually they really just wanted to go out a walk so Craig and Dad took them out just before we left.

I was watching the weather all day but actually missed the face that all the snow and rain had frozen over. But the time we left, it was like a skating rink.

I was sooooo nervous. Like driving Miss Daisy…. On one hand my eyesight was good and I wasn’t completely blinded by glare, on the other I was petrified of skidding… in a car I’m not used to driving.

We got home with any mishap whatsoever… of course we did. The back garden was like glass….

I’ve managed 20 hours of fasting today, which I actually can’t believe. I find it so easy. I said no to breakfast this morning and have only drink black coffee and lots of water. I had a bacon roll just before we left.

It’s a miserable day here today, so dark and wet. I’m driving home again tonight so am hoping it doesn’t freeze over again. I will be watching!!

I did forget to take my progesterone last night, for the first time. Need to remember to take it later. It makes you drowsy so I didn’t take it this morning when I remembered.

Sorry I do feel a bit like the blog is…. I went here, I went there, I ate this, I ate that just now. I guess that’s what life is over Christmas. I am tired but I’m enjoyed thinking of what to wear, putting makeup on and different jewellery. You know me, I don’t get out much so this is a wee change.

Hope you’re all having a lovely few days and if not, I hope you find some peace soon.

Stay safe everyone 🌲🎅🏼🤶🏼

We had a lovely Christmas Day at Craig’s mum’s. Helen and Doug put on the most amazing spread. Don’t think I finished eating until about 8.30pm. I switched to the “fast” on my app and managed 14 hours and 40 minutes until breakfast at 11.08am precisely. 🙄😂

Bhruic has kisses for her Gran!

The Christmas table all set.

Christmas selfie!

Out with the mains! I actually really thought about my portion sizes which is completely a first for me, certainly over Christmas.

Freya’s had too much excitement!

Doug has the most amazing Christmas lights outside the house too.

And some really lovely ones inside too.

I just loved the tree 🌲

We woke up to very light snow!

Enough to freak me out….. she who’s suddenly nervous of driving now. I really hope that I can fight through that as I’m not putting up with that fear.

Two squirrels in this next photo….

The pups enjoyed some Festive Butternut Box for breakfast this morning. It says to have with some mulled water 😆

So we’re now on our way from East Kilbride to Penicuik, to my mum and dads for Boxing Day. Don’t know where the morning went but it’s 1.15pm already.

Hope you all have a lovely day!

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

It’s Christmas Day 2022 already?!?! How did that even happen? Where did 2020 go?!? Time just flies doesn’t it….

We’ve had a lovely relaxing day. No presents for us but we’ve been spoiled already as we went upstairs to our neighbours, Holly and Kenny’s, for breakfast at 10.30.

Holly lays on a lovely spread for Christmas breakfast!!! We need a nap before dinner 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

We got lovely gifts and have some Icelandic Króna!!! How lovely.

I then popped in to see Claire and we swapped lovely gifts too!

Now we’re off to Craig’s mum’s for Christmas dinner with the 3 crazy pups in tow.

They have a lovely tree!

This is the best I got of the dogs in front of the tree!

Calaidh is excited getting a Christmas pres!

Treat time!!

And little Cookie watches it all happen from her ivory tower. 😆

Forgot to say I did go to church last night and it was a lovely service with lots of carol singing. A lovely Christmas Eve. 🎄

And I still managed a 17 hour fast from after dinner last night until breakfast today. I’m really pleased with that.

So I’m going to leave this here. It’s 5.30pm and we’re going to sit down to our starters.

Merry Christmas to you all…. And lots of love. ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go…. 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

If you have to work anywhere on Christmas Eve, the little gift shop is probably the place to do it!

We’re open from 9.30 until 1pm today then that’s a wrap on all forms of working in 2022. Except maybe some dog behaviour calls. 🙄🐶🐾☎️

Of course I’ve been wide awake since 6am.

We had a lovely Christmas Turkey buffet next door in the Gateside Inn last night. Big slabs of turkey in gravy that just melt in the mouth. Here is my handsome husband and I ready to head in.

I only got about half an hour between work and heading out to freshen up and write last nights blog.

We had a drink at the bar included in our £15 a head package. Check Rachel-two-doors-down’s Christmas jumper!

I fasted for about 19 hours overnight Friday into Saturday. I feel sooooo much better for it. It would also appear I’m a lot less able to gorge on buffet food when it is presented to me. I think I’d have been able to eat twice what I had last night, if I’d tried it a week ago!!

A piece of chocolate fudge cake sent me over the edge though. Sooo full. I was home and tucked up in bed by 8.30pm while the roars of laughter and merriment boom through the bedroom wall. (remember how close the pub is!)

I had moments of sadness where I think that everyone else is enjoying themselves when I am not…. But then I remember that I’m doing what I want to do, what I need to do. Having political chats over dinner does not help my head at all especially when everyone seems to think the opposite from me. I need to distance myself from anything that triggers a negative emotion right now.

Actually….. as I write that… I need to learn to let things that I don’t like, just wash over me.

That is the lesson for today. Hmmmm I knew there was a reason I kept writing this blog. I’ll do me and let you do you. If I see you saying something I don’t agree with I just move on and don’t feel I have to fight that battle. Huh. 🤷🏻‍♀️😆 not saying that will always be easy but I’ll try it. Through gritted teeth maybe…. 😂

Anyway, I’m up, bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for work.

Not gonna lie… I am looking forward to nestivus 😂😂😂

For me, this is what Christmas is all about. Spending time with our loved ones at this special time.

Work was super busy today! Another great Saturday and at 1pm we closed the door and switched the lights off and someone still came in to shop in the dark 😂 by 1.30pm we were done in! We had no Christmas cheer left 😂😂😂

So I’m back home, have hoovered the living room and sun room, put jammie bottoms on and am about to start wrapping some final wee bits and bobs.

We’re gonna have a chilled out Christmas Eve with movies and Christmas party nibbles.

I might be going to church for the Watchnight Service tonight. That’s a huge part of my growing up. We always went to midnight service from when I was 12, as we were all in the church choir.

Sadly Grandad died that very first year I was allowed to go.

We came out of the church and all the adults were talking over my head. I remember feeling very small at the time…. And nervous, as I knew there was something very wrong.

There were family members in that church car park that did not go to church….

Grandad had been very busy the week in the run up to Christmas. A family Christmas was his big thing and yet that was the first year we weren’t all going to be together.

He was in bed and got up to go through to the bathroom and Nana heard him hit the bath. He was gone in an instant. A massive heart attack. He was only 56. It was 12.10am on Christmas morning.

(I should say here that this is how I remember it, just in case I got some of that wrong!)

So midnight service means a lot to me.

It does show us that this time of year is difficult for so many. It’s a special time of year that brings out many emotions for people.

I hope you all have a lovely Christmas Eve… I hope that Santa is good to you all and that you spend your Christmas exactly the way you want to.

Love to you all ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s 8.09am. We did not go to the Farm this morning as I didn’t get to bed until after 11 last night….. oh no you didn’t?!? Oh yes I did… panto…. See what I did there?!?

Can I just start by saying…… oh my actual god, I have been lying here in bed, listening to the incessant blog writer inside my head….. wittering away at me for the last 2 and a half hours. I don’t feel rested at all!!! I’ve woken up raging!!

I needed to sleep so badly, I’m shattered.

Craig said in the calmest voice, “when you get like that you should focus on something else……. “ 😳 The lion roared!!!! “Focus on something else?!?! Focus on something else?!! Do you not think I haven’t tried that for the last few hours?!??”

Morning 😱😳🙄😀😂😘

I thought it was best to write this to shut that, now very tired voice, up.

I’ve also realised I’ve been clenching my jaw as I’ve got up with a thumping head. I guess maybe I have slept, in between the incessant chatter.

Anyway, let’s go back to last night. Our niece, Marianna was amazing!!! The cast were exceptional, so professional. Pace Youth Theatre are doing the pantomime, Cinderella, this Christmas.

The energy, the costumes and the set were amazing and it’s all done inside a shop that they have taken over in Paisley.

They make amazing use of constricted space to create a small theatre.

We were so proud to see Marianna as for so many years we haven’t gone to the see the things she has done.

Incredible performance by all… the wicked stepmother was brilliant. That girl uses her face to tell the story.

I think so many of them will go far in life. The ugly sisters were hysterical too.

The lines they came out with……. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂😂

So let’s go back and read what a pantomime actually is and then stop a minute and think about who I am these days….

I dressed up, I sat among hundreds of people, there were lots of young children and I sat like I had a neon flashing sign over my head that screamed “please don’t look at me”…. As if they would…. I was like a fish out of water….. as one of the ugly sisters looked for a “target” of “her” affections in the audience, I WILLED Craig to grow shorter than his 6ft 3ins seated self!!!!

When we’re asked to participate, the words won’t come out of my mouth….. 😂 honestly looking back my reaction is hysterical. I literally froze the whole way through until the finale. I was a contorted, uncomfortable mess…. 😂😂

With hindsight it was just another step in the evolution of the new me. Something to think about and understand about myself.

So all of that said and done, I’m so glad that we got to see her perform and watch the wonderful, confident and clever girl that she has grown up to be. We aren’t a very hands on Auntie & Uncle and we need to change that.

So back to today. Wow. Record day in the shop today!

I worked from 9.30 until 5pm. By the back of 4 our “cheery hellos” to customers were waning but we had a laugh and apologised for how tired we were sounding. It’s been a really busy day. My busiest yet. Everyone asked if we were finished our Christmas shopping yet and were we ready…. I changed my answer every time.

Truth is I am kind of there but operating on a reduced service this year so I am reluctant to admit to anyone that I am ready. 😂

So many people in for last minute, wee mindings…. So many men finally getting around to shopping too.

It has been a really good day. That place is good for me!!

Now I’m home. I have an hour between work and a wee village get together in the pub. We do get a two course Christmas meal “leftover” buffet so it’s great I don’t need to cook!

I actually only have 25 minutes left so I best go and make myself presentable.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas Eve Eve evening…. Had to think about that?!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I was in bed for 8.30pm last night. Couldn’t keep my eyes open. Slept until 5.15am….. then tried my hardest to get back to sleep, but it was not to be.

Rumour has it I may have woken someone else up but I don’t believe that for a minute 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄😂

My head was buzzing with everything that needed doing today before we finished up.

I honestly don’t know where the day went. It didn’t stop…..

We were very lucky and got a Christmas bonus AND a bottle AND lunch!

I went out mid morning to buy the bottles and oh my word, Tesco was HEAVING. I have never seen the car park so busy. I had to queue to get in! I chose myself a bottle of 0% Gordon’s pink gin. 😁

I still can’t believe that I don’t drink at times like this…. The alcohol aisles were full to bursting. There were trolleys of drink to go out into the shelves. They were stocking up as fast as the shelves were emptying. It’s no wonder the alcohol industry doesn’t ever get pulled up for the amount of poison they pump into peoples bodies. Our country must make a fortune on the amount that they sell…. It’s still the only socially acceptable drug that people regularly push you to use.

Wow, that totally sums up my use of alcohol, I was constantly trying not to feel how wrong my life was. I used it to get me through my working week. I didn’t like who it made me become.

This next one makes me cringe but I’m putting it out there. I have to sit with every yucky feeling and feel every single bit of it now. That’s hard.

And finally…. I share this every year but it’s worth remembering.

Anyway, Christmas drinkers didn’t need a lecture from the newly sober me…. I was that person once.

In a few weeks it will be 4 years of alcohol free for me. Who’d a thunk it, as my Gran would say?!

Back to my day…. we were really busy and it was a good day…. We managed to shut up early and got away at 2pm. I stayed back to wash Abbie the Campervan too as she was filthy!

As I drove home I had a near miss as a car careered towards me on the A736. He was overtaking at a bit where the two white lines in the road indicate that it is ILLEGAL TO OVERTAKE!!!

The adrenaline really floods through you at times like that. He made it back into his lane just in time but I did to have to slam on the brakes.

Anyway, home safe and sound. Did a wee bit of last minute Tartan work and am now sitting writing this.

We have the theatre tonight. We’re going to see our neice, Marianna, perform in PACE Youth Theatre’s Cinderella. Looking forward to seeing her!

Im still intermittent fasting. I did an 18 hour and 15 minute fast overnight and up until lunchtime today. I find it really easy. I drink lots of water which is win, win. I feel so much less bloated and lethargic. It really works for me. Not sure how long I’ll be able to carry it on for, over the next few days but hey… I’m giving it a shot.

So that’s all for now folks… got an hour until I have to get ready and we’re watching the new Jack Ryan season on Amazon Prime so might just squeeze one of them in.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️