It’s 6.25am and I need to get this out of my head. All you insomniacs…. My heart goes out to you. I can’t stand this “not sleeping” malarkey. The alarm has just gone off and I’ve just woken from delivering a baby for one of my best pals…… she is not pregnant and as much as I love her, I would never be delivering her kid. Craig took her toddler girl out the room while I delivered…. She actually has a boy. Dreams never add up.

I just want to cry. I am so exhausted. Ok here come the tears. I have coughed for so much of the night. My heart is racing and I have felt like a tv in the white noise mode. The Fitbit tracker shows my heart rate nowhere near as fast as it feels inside my body which shows me it’s not my heart rate. I just want to curl up in a ball and keep crying. I genuinely don’t want to go back to sleep just now as it doesn’t feel like I could.

We had to miss the farm again. Normal life on hold until this moves on.

Last night I was all sweetness and light, and acceptance, in my fluffy clean jammies with the fire and candles on, watching tv. In the cold light of morning it’s harder to hold on to that. (Also should just say that the old HRT cycle points to time of the month shortly so the overactive drama this morning could just be attributed to that!)

I’ll read this back tonight when I write the blog and think jeez…. I can’t put that shit out.

Ok yeah so it’s 6pm….. reading that back….. drama much…. I’m leaving it in though as it’s from the heart.

One funny story though…. The girl in my dream, her wee boy is 7 today and I had completely forgotten!!!!! Now that is a strange coincidence, I dream of helping her give birth on the morning of her son’s birthday…. Spooky.

So I’ve actually had a really good day at work.

I feel a bit stronger and I’ve coughed a bit less than yesterday. I’ve had lots of customers in, lots of enquiries….. AND drumroll…….. Abbie the camper van now has a working diesel heater!!! It turned out to be a fuel feed issue, the heater was getting lots of air and no diesel. I drove home in 26°C just because I could. I’m so grateful that the boys at Tartan had time to look at it.

What no driver’s seat?!?

So I’m gonna give the crochet hookers a miss again this week. Really need to get my crochet out and get back on it. Been too long and I really should get my blanket finished…. But hey, itll be done when it’s down.

So yeah it’s Burns Night in Scotland.

Traditional Burns Suppers will be held all over Scotland but I don’t think I’ve ever been to one.

Where many of us do absolutely nothing different from any other night, but it’s traditional to have Haggis, Neeps and Tatties for dinner. Ours is just cooking. Thanks to my lovely mother in law for our haggis. I’m on the veggie haggis tonight. Craig’s having full fat 😂😂😂

We had whisky 🥃 sauce over the haggis too. Lovely!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️