For 700 days I have been writing a daily blog. ✍️
Wow. That’s commitment.
I’ve impressed myself. I never really thought for one minute I might get this far and collected so many sloth toys!
To recap for those of you who are new to this… very roughly it’s 700 days since we went into lockdown in Scotland. I can’t believe that either…. Now there is some poetic license here as in the olden days I double dunted some day numbers in error… so it’s actually more than that but for the purposes of the Rambling Sloth it’s 700 days.
The Beith Trust asked for people to keep a diary of life in lockdown for future generations to see what we went through.
I’d been off sick with anxiety and depression since September 2018 and had just been made redundant as a result. I had already written a few FB posts about my struggles and realised that writing came naturally to me and I enjoyed it. It also gave me a chance to think about how I am feeling. Journaling is a great tool for mental health. I also hoped that in speaking up that I might help someone else. From the outside I had and have it all. I just really struggle with anxiety and that in turn led to depression.
So here I am…. 🦥
For those of you who have been with me since the beginning. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. God love you ♥️ listening to my ramblings every day for that length of time.
It’s become a part of my daily life now. It’s just what I do.
I’m sitting in the Gateside Inn, drinking a Menobrea 0% beer and quietly writing this in the corner as everyone chats round about me.
So back to today… I slept really well and was up putting washing away at 4.45am this morning in time for the Fit Body Farm.
I take that for granted these days but really should stop to think sometimes that it’s pretty amazing to get up at that time to exercise.
I know I wouldn’t do it at all if I didn’t go first thing. I exercise before I’ve had any time to think about it.
Of course today I was still feeling a little bit sad… I worried about everything on the drive to the Farm and by the time I got there, had tears in my eyes. I should say that these things I’m worrying about are completely irrational. There’s nothing that’s worth worrying about. Anxiety at its best.
I really struggled with my emotions this morning. I was almost in tears 3 times throughout the workout. For no real reason other than I felt overwhelmed and sad.
Yet I kept on going and by the time I had my shower….. (flooding out the door and into the hallway 🤦🏻♀️🥴) I felt better. I also had very sore and heavy arms after the workout but that’s what’s meant to happen!
I still feel very quiet, trying to shrink into the background… but I also had some good level of concentration and focus today.
I was able to delegate tasks at work without worrying about them. I was in control. I laugh at that as I mean I was in control of myself… not everything that was going on around me. 😆
I’m very proud of my journey so far. I do have some difficult days, some where I am so concerned that I’m going to slip back. We make our own happiness and by writing on a daily basis, I try to remember that.
I want to add some more about the very sad situation in Ukraine 🇺🇦 I think it’s affected me more than I realised. My heart breaks for what these people are going through. I’m sad for the world but I have to limit myself to it. I’m very lucky that I can as those poor people cannot.
Take charge of your happiness ♥️
Thank you once again to everyone who takes the time to read my blog. Thanks for all your support.
Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️