A very early night last night… and a very quiet start to the day. I feel like a tortoise who’s retracted back into its shell for protection.

Protection from what? I have no idea.

I feel very quiet. I’ve felt a bit like that all week. A reluctance to chat. A desire to merge into the background. At one FBF workout I actually stood behind everyone. It’s funny as I knew I was doing it but quiet and hiding feels safe.

When I woke this morning I felt a profound sense of sadness. I still don’t know why but that’s ok. It is what it is.

Yesterday I wrote down all the bad stuff that was going round in my head. I went back to it this morning and I realise I have actually written some fairly positive things in that diatribe. I know what to do to get out of it. Yesterday I just had to sit with the sadness.

Today feels different. Today I’m taking action.

Instead of being sad at the state of the house I am cleaning. To be fair, I had let it get pretty bad, rather than staying on top of it but even then it only took a couple of hours.

The intense tornado-like rush of feelings from yesterday is nowhere to be seen once it’s done. Only calm.

This next one makes me laugh… be private… and I tell you guys everything. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

My self care is talking about it, talking it through and making sense of it and maybe my ramblings will help someone else.

Craig is out in the garden pressure washing the back grass so I decided to go out and weed my meadow garden.

Those of you who have followed my blog since lockdown, may remember that I planted lovely meadow flowers right down the back of our garden. My vision…

The reality…..

Now that photo isn’t actually that bad… it looks like I almost made it but the reality was huge, big, tall, gangly weeds that got way out of control and Mr A hated it…. and he was right to.

So today I have weeded out as much as I could and I enjoyed it. Ignore the wheelie bin!

The grass and decking look amazing!

Maybe bows the time to tell him the rest of it needs doing again?!? 🤣

The dogs loved being out with us all day.

Craig was up in this tree cutting down some branches that were overhanging the shed.

He’ll be in agony at the gym tomorrow! He could only reach the branch with his left arm. I was on ground support and did a grand job if I say so myself. 🙄🤭🤣

How true is that. If only the world was as peaceful as my back garden is now.

I’m sitting outside in the sun. I have a big jumper on but the sun is warm on my face. It’s been hidden for so long that it’s so lovely to feel it’s warmth.

It’s only forecast to be 7C here but to us Scots, any sign of sunshine can be considered spring or summer!

I’m drinking a lovely alcohol free Cider. Only 50 calories.

I’ve always said that the calm after the anxiety is the best feeling in the world. The calm after the storm.

I think I’m gonna have a bath and a wee pamper afternoon while Craig watches the football. Be kind to myself.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️