First things first…. Wild sea swimming this morning with Ellison and Eileen…. Did not happen because my wetsuit zip burst only 2nd time of wearing!!! I was gutted…

I took it all off again… no mean feat, and tried everything I could to get it zipped back up. Short of cutting the material and stitching it back up, there was nothing I could do.

There’s no way I could go in without it, remembering the freezing cold feet on Tuesday.

I sat about in my swimming costume for about 5 or 10 minutes trying to decide what to do. My alarm had gone off at 7.15am and I had read this when I woke up…..

Seriously… people often ask me how I can manage to write a blog on a daily basis…. The content just throws itself at me. As upset as I am at not being able to go swimming, it doesn’t need to ruin my day. I could have gone and sat with a coffee and watched them, but I though I might find that harder. I jumped back into bed for a bit… and put the electric blanket on as I had just been sitting around in a swimming cozzie and it’s very cold and frosty today! 😂

We finally got up and had coffee. We decided to use some of my birthday vouchers and head out to Mocha Jak’s, a coffee shop near us for breakfast. Thanks to Claire’s mum and dad for them! We took Calaidh.

I had Avocado Toast with tattie scones, halloumi and a fried egg with siracha sauce and Craig had the Mama Mocha breakfast.

Calaidh was a good girl.

She had doggy sausages. She then posed perfectly while I was paying at the till.

We both noticed that the staff were not very welcoming this morning. There weren’t many smiles which seemed a bit sad but maybe they were just tired after a very busy day yesterday. There was a Craft Fayre that may have had the run off their feet…. Then FB threw me this….

So very true. I thanked them profusely for lovely food with big smiles!!

We went for a walk around Spiers Old School Grounds, having been there in ages. Got a photo of my favourite gate.

The better photo is really the wall next to my favourite gate 😂

Back home and dropped Calaidh off and picked up Bhru and Freya and took the for a good run.

There are no photos, other than this lovely sky.

It’s really cold out there today so I’m in leggings and a Christmas jumper wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. I may have a nap.

Just have to tell you about our wreath making last night. The little gift shop girls went wreath making at McConnells florist in Beith.

I love my wreath…. it’s on the front door already!

The girls all made stunning wreaths.

Aren’t they beautiful?!?

I found it surprisingly easy to do and I really enjoyed it. We had a lovely wee snack in the middle too with sandwiches and cakes.

I left the florist about 9pm to drive back to Kilmarnock to pick Craig up… saved me going home first.

I really don’t like driving in the dark anymore. I used to hear people say that and couldn’t understand it. I do now.

Other than not being able to see well , I was even scared waiting for him in the van. It’s ridiculous really.

We were home by about 10.15 and I went straight to bed as ho early for sea swimming…. Aka fighting with a wetsuit.

Rachel two doors down is working on the village Christmas tree today. It’s such a beautiful tree from the Gateside Plant Centre, but sadly a huge section of the lights are not working. She’s having to order new lights…. It still looks lovely.

So not much else to report from here. Other than putting the washing away I will be ignoring the rest of the housework needing done.

It’s not long now until more holidays. Woop woop!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s only 3.30pm and I’m having a lovely day. I had an amazing sleep. Woke up just after 4am and hadn’t even moved since 10pm. Managed to get back to sleep until 7.30am. Bliss.

I got stress get up andninto dog walking gear to walking the terrible trio before work.

It’s a lovely morning, it’s cool but not cold and dry. This is the sky at the bottom of the garden when we headed out.

The street was really quiet. I love being up and out when everyone else is still asleep.

It just got better.

The colours were just out of this world. I felt so lucky to be out there instead of stressing about waking all three dogs at once.

I never met a soul. Just me and the three degrees. 😂 These markings in the sky were really interesting. Wondered what caused it?

The road was really super muddy for some reason, so the dogs were filthy. I let them have a paddle in the burn. No meant dear down a hill on their leads. I did stay standing up straight 😂

The photos look fake but honestly there was no filter used. A morning like this fills me with so much joy. I feel bursting with excitement just looking at the sky.

I “think” this one shows the moon and two plane trails which seemed very close together.

Now in true Julie fashion, I bring you back down to earth with a bump, to tell you that through all this beauty the pups were pooping like no tomorrow and my poo bags kept splitting… I had to try and wrap each one as best I could, an honestly I do think I do pretty well in the circumstances. So many people seem to leave them out on the country roads. I ended up having to put them wrapped up in my pocket… 🤦🏻‍♀️😆 I was lucky that no poop escaped but still… brings some reality to the beautiful moment 💩😆

The little gift shop was great today…. Super busy. I love it when it’s so busy. So many lovely people buying Christmas cards and gifts. Lots of chat which you know I love.

There was also cake! (Bought from Gro Coffee last night!)

Back up the road and had to take Craig to Kilmarnock as he had an afternoon/night out with the boys.

I made him take this photo as I drove. It doesn’t do it justice. The clouds looked like they were pouring down out of that circle shape. Unusual.

As I drove home there were loads of sheep on the road in front of me! The sound of Abbie grumbling along the road sent them charging back into the field any way they could. It felt quite powerful to watch them all find their way. 🐏🐏🐏😂

I’m now sitting watching The Grinch as I write this. Bhruic is watching the tv!

I had a lovely time at Gro with the Menopause Mates group, now aptly renamed as the menopause maniacs!

I picked up Kirstin, who lives nearby so at least we weren’t arriving alone, but there was no need to worry. It was so lovely to meet everyone we’ve been chatting to on Messenger. We all go to the Fit Body Farm, but different classes, so might not ever meet up. It was so lovely to meet with girls who are all going through the same things and have a good old chat about the menopause.

I had a huge peppermint slice. It was exquisite!

We sat next to this beautiful tree.

I only have about 2 hours before I head back out Christmas Wreath making with the little gift shop girls! Really looking forward to it.

I have to go back and retrieve Craigie (or Merlin the happy pig 🙄) whenever he’s ready for collection…. after my wreath making. He’s under strict instructions not to be too late as I have wild sea swimming at 9am tomorrow!

It’s all go but I am smiling. A lot!

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

I cried aloud when the alarm went off at 5am. I’d had such a great sleep, I didn’t want to get up but I bounded out of bed and got ready for the Farm. (It was a bit of a big effort “bound” if I’m honest 😆)

And boy, the Farm was hard work this morning. We were in pairs and had to work while our partner rested. We did 2 lengths of the gym pushing a heavy sled then a 250m run before our partner took over, we rested while they did theirs stint and then we did it all over again….for 12 minutes.

Then 20 x 4kg wall ball target throws followed by a 250m run, for 12 minutes and then 8 burpees followed by a 250m run for 12 minutes. 😳😆

I was knackered!!

Andrena and I barely spoke during it, other then to give the odd word of encouragement as we got our breath back. Hard work but a great workout with a great buddy!

I went out into the garden with the dogs when I got back. It’s a cold but lovely morning.

Throw the ball mum.

I’m not giving her the ball back….

I don’t care about the ball, just wanna play with Bhruic!

Me and my shadow….. Freya always follows Bhru around.

I jumped in the shower to get ready for work and headed to get my Christmas nails done before work this morning.

Back home for 15 minutes and then off to work at the little gift shop. (yeah I know, I’m knackered just writing it!)

Had another lovely day, with lots of lovely chat, but forgot to wear a Christmas jumper today! 😂

I was about to say that I came home for a quick bite to eat but that reminded me….. I need to draw a line again. I’ve said a few times this week that I’ve been gorging on food.

Shovelling it in.

It has to stop.

My good jeans are tight today. “No wonder” my inner voice screamed at me this morning!

Anyway, it has stopped a bit today. I am aware of it. I haven’t eaten the best of food but I have chewed it slowly and savoured it, rather than scoffing it without breathing. I feel fuller than I would have yesterday.

All of that said… I’m off to Gro Coffee in Irvine tonight with a lovely group of ladies from the Fit Body Farm…. Some of whom I’ve never even met as they got to classes at different times.

I posted on our FBF Members page one day… I was saying how amazing it was to work out there on a beautiful sunrise morning, when I’d felt so bad the day before, having just started HRT.

So many girls replied to my post and we got “chatting” and one of them set up a Messenger chat group where we can all talk about our symptoms and generally provide support to each other. It’s been a great group to be a part of.

So tonight we’re having a coffee catch up in Gro in Irvine….. there will be cakes…. Yeah I know….

I better go and get ready as I have to be out in 20 minutes… the blog took up all of my rest time but I do feel much better!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I am trying to be in the Christmas spirit this year as it’s not usually my thing. I have chosen to ignore the magic of Christmas for years now.

I have the most amazing M&S advent calendar which I got from my Aunt & Uncle for my 50th…. That really was the birthday that keeps on giving.

It has loads of M&S beauty products in it. I’ve never had anything quite like it and I was so excited to open it this morning.

I even looked out the Christmas jumpers this morning and wore one to work. I mean come on….. could I be any more Christmassy?!?

I’ve had a really good day at work today. I wasn’t in the best headspace but turned it all around. Managed to think straight through the confusion and ended up thinking it was a great day.

I didn’t think I slept well last night, was up a few times in the night and was clenching my jaw so much I couldn’t move it when I first woke up.

I woke with a thumping headache but it passed after my first lemsip of the day! Seems I actually got 8.5 hours which is pretty amazing. Funny how I thought exactly the opposite.

I’m sitting watching a very cheesy Christmas movie as I write this and Craig is out at work.

Bhruic is cuddled into my Christmas jumper and check the Christmas jammies too… I’m really trying!

One thing I did want to talk about…. Is anyone else in the UK wondering what had happened to the size of our toilet rolls?!?

They are double the thickness that they used to be and they are all over the shops now. The ones in work have grown too!!! 😂

The latest thing in our world to change I guess…. Toilet roll is now as thick as kitchen roll. Who knew?!

I’m still stuffing my face with any food I can get my hands on. I’ve put on so much weight this week… but I can’t do everything at once. It is what it is.

So not much else to report. Have a busy weekend so will no doubt have a really early night again tonight.

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

St Andrew is the patron saint of Scotland.

We celebrate St Andrews Day by feasting on haggis, neeps (turnip) and tatties (potatoes) but Craig and I had chicken fajitas 😆

We don’t even get a national holiday but hey…. There’s not much else to say about St Andrews day…. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙

I slept like a log last night and really struggled to wake up at 5am… but I did and went to the Fit Body Farm.

It was hard today. I know it’s too much info but I’m good at the overshare…. My boobs were agony today. I almost wanted them as I ran. Now I know there a million jokes running through so many minds just now but honestly, they were so painful. It made me feel very slow and heavy today. I walked a few of the runs today just to save the pain. My Shock Absorber bra didn’t cut it today. 😆

Progesterone is not my friend.

I’m just starting week two of my second round of it and I definitely feel the hormones. I’ve been so lethargic all week. I’ve been in bed by 7-8pm every night, curled up with the electric blanket. I have put on weight as I’m eating to frantically search for energy. As I said the other day, nothing is cutting it, I gorge on dinner then have 12 squares of chocolate. Nothing is ever enough.

Mood wise I’m a bit more irritable, a bit more throw hands up in the air and walk away rather than sit and deal with something that hasn’t gone quite my way.

Other than that…. I’m peachy. 😆 I laughed at that…. it’s true, I’m actually pretty happy resting and eating. I know it’s not the best but it’s working for me just now so it is what it is.

Work was good again today but I’ve cancelled crochet tonight as I just need my jammies.

I’m off to watch the second half of Dirty Dancing tonight. I started it yesterday then fell asleep!

Nobody puts Baby in a corner. ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I had the best sleep last night. Out for the count, so cosy and I did not want to open my eyes this morning, let alone get up!

I’m writing this in bed now and I finally feel this is where I’m meant to be 😂 it’s only 7pm!

They say the second day back is the hardest. I feel really tired, wiped out and a bit irritated that I have to do anything. I just wanted to stay in bed all day.

I tried to be super healthy with food today and yet I want to gorge on anything “bad” I can get my hands on. Yet none of it actually satisfies the hunger inside of me.

Work was actually good and I was busy but I overthought a lot and didn’t do things as comfortably as I did yesterday.

One thing that I did do and loved today was wild sea swimming for the first time…. Well not the first time ever but I spent about 20 minutes in the Firth of Clyde tonight and it’s 29th November!

I went with Ellison from work as her sister, Eileen, has been wild sea swimming for a good few years now and knows everything about the tides and wind direction etc. It seemed safe to go on her recommendation. I got a wetsuit for my 50th from Craigie as Ellison and I had talked about it a good few months back.

So finally tonight was the night. We left work very sharp, after I got changed into the wetsuit in Abbie the Campervan. That was a workout in itself. 😆

I was so excited.

Eileen lent me a spare pair of wetsuit gloves which really helped but NOTHING prepared me for the cold on my feet. I had to walk back out of the sea as quickly as I walked in.

By 4.30pm it was pretty dark and they reckon the water was around 9°C…. No concept as to how cold that would feel.

Waves of pain up my legs, pardon the pun.

I didn’t have wetsuit socks which the others did so I know that would have helped.

I just had to paddle about on the shore for a bit to acclimatise…. It was only a few minutes before my feet were numb enough and I could head in!

I had a waterproof pouch for my phone that Ellison gave me ages ago, but I have to say my photos are rubbish…. There was way too much going on to get a good photo 😂😂

I slowly walked out to the girls feeling the cold seep through various parts of the wetsuit 😂 but honestly nothing matched the cold of my feet. My body and hands were plenty warm enough.

It was honestly amazing!

I have to order some wetsuit socks as there is nothing fun about that level of cold on my bare ankles….. but it felt amazing and a really fun thing to do.

I got dried as fast as I could and Ellison had given me a flask which I had a decaf coffee in. It helped to have a warm drink. My toes were numb most of the drive home. Abbie was up to 26°C by the time I got home and my feet were still cold.

I jumped straight in the shower and washed all my wet stuff. There’s a whole lotta sand in my bath now. No idea I was carrying that!

So as I said, I’m in bed with the electric blanket on and I’m super cosy. Ready for sleep.

A really fun end to the day! Thanks so much to the girls for inviting me and for lending me so many things!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Back to reality with a bang today. Wide awake at 4.30am.

I made the mistake of looking at my phone before I got up, and read a post where a guy was complaining about a company that had fitted his pop top roof in his van. It may have been a dreadful experience but he dragged that company through the mud. I got really anxious reading it and that set the tone for the early morning. I fumbled my way through getting ready for the Farm.

I set off in my amazing non- wobbly van and realised that I could hear road noise and that it was the drivers door that was open. I tried to shut it as I drove…. Actually managed it.

Then a few miles down the road, a GIANT rat ran across the road in front of me. It was enormous!!! Craig even saw it in the car behind me. Mahoosive! Thankfully I slammed on the brakes and didn’t hit it.

Then…. Our road to the farm was closed. We had to turn around and follow a diversion.

The new road takes us over a single track narrow bridge and at 5.55am I met another car right there. Of course I did. 😳

By the time I got the farm I was all over the place. Frazzled, nervous, off.

However, the Farm was great. Hard work but a great work out it. I felt really good during and after it.

It was a lovely morning and the start of another lovely day. Calm and sunny. Cold in the shade but nice in the sun… in November. Crazy.

Tartan went well and it was good to get back into a routine. The day flew by and it was 4pm before I knew it! There were quite a few customers in today which always makes the day go quickly.

I’ve actually had a really good day. There’s been anxiety, some excitement but generally calm and in control. It feels good.

Had the best drive home in months… no wobble just a straight drive home. Bliss.

Big chat with mum on the phone for 50 minutes. We talked the hind legs off a donkey…. 😂 such a crazy saying.

Every time I go to write the blog in the living room, I get covered in puppers looking for affection. Craig took some photos!

Awwww bless.

Waiting on a Morrisons food delivery before I make dinner. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking it.

Hope you all had a good start to the week too.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s a beautiful morning! I can’t wait to get out and take some photos of Houstoun House Hotel near Livingston in Scotland.

I’m here because lovely Claire, next door, has treated me to an overnight spa break for my 50th birthday. What a lovely idea and very generous gift!!

Unbeknown to Claire, Craig and I actually got married here in 2010!! She had no idea as we only met since she moved in next door and it’s obviously never come up in conversation. She wanted to go somewhere that was a decent drive away so it felt like a mini holiday… and that it was!

All I knew was we were away overnight and I needed to take a swimming costume. The various places I thought it might have been were in a completely different direction from the way she was driving.

I stared to smile to myself as we headed along the M8 and realised how far we had to go on the sat nav. It’s such a lovely hotel!

We’ve had the best time and it’s been so lovely for me to reminisce, as I’ve not been back here since Mum and Dad’s 40th Ruby Anniversary in 2012. We are also very lucky to see it on such a lovely November day.

Here is a wedding photo of Craig and I standing on the steps at the end of that last photo.

And more importantly…. With family, Gran in purple and Nana in red who are no longer with us. Very special memories. 💜♥️

(And yes that really is Craig!!)

Also, how is this hydrangea just starting to flower?!? In November?!

Also took this mushroom 🍄 standing tall on the grass.

I was working in the little gift shop yesterday, until 1pm, and had quite a busy morning. I was all packed to go as we were leaving by 1.30pm.

We arrived around 2.45 and unpacked and headed to the Spa.

We swam in the pool and sat in the sauna for a while before our treatments at 4pm. We had a back, neck and shoulder massage followed by an Elemis facial.

It was soooo good and how lucky am I have to have two lovely massage and facial packages in one week?!? I am literally so chilled I’m horizontal!

It was dark by the time we came out and made this dash back into the hotel in our goonies and spa sliders.

We headed straight to the room and got into fleecy jammies that Claire had bought specially for the occasion. I had some Rosé Nozeco as we got ready.

Dinner was booked for 7.30pm in the restaurant.

The meal was lovely and we had a few giggles.

Back to the room after dinner for more Nozeco and bed. I’ve been popping Lemsip all the time and managed another great nights sleep only waking for the loo at 5.22am! Managed to get to the toilet and back creaking every floorboard but not waking Claire… #ninja 😂

The bed was so white and dog hair free. 😆 I had the best sleep and we had a good long lie. Breakfast was at 9.30am and yes, I forgot to order decaf coffee 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

A really chilled out and relaxing break which is exactly what I needed. I can’t thank Claire enough for such a lovely time. 💜💜

We got back home just before 1pm and I did 2 dog walks back to back. It’s still lovely and sunny.

So as I said, the perfect end to the best week.

I’m not sure I can ever repay the kindness and generosity of my family and friends over the course of my 50th birthday celebrations. I’ve been so spoiled and I’m so very grateful to everyone for making it such a special time for me.

Oh and I don’t think I shared a pic of the Crocs I got from Craig which make me smile every time I wear them 😂♥️😂

So back to the Farm and Tartan land tomorrow to see what I’ve missed. A good few nights into the progesterone and still feeling ok. Long may that continue.

It’s 4.15pm and actually pretty dark outside. The nights are fair drawin’ in 😂

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

A very quick quickie today!! I’m currently overnight with Claire on a wee surprise spa break so I’m going to relax and enjoy every minute of it!

I’ll report back tomorrow with all the details but those of you who know me might recognise our wedding venue?!? This is where we are!!

Have a lovely Saturday night!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Remember that lovely Caramel Waffle Latte yesterday?! I mean it was soooo good.

Caffeine free?

What do you reckon? You know me well enough by now. I forgot to ask for decaf.

Time for pipe band style drumming of the heart… 3.15am.

Wide. Awake.

I took cold and flu tablets before bed which were working just fine until I woke up. I got up to blow my nose and put Vicks Vaporub on my top lip. Great idea until it burns 🥵

I had already decided not to go to the Farm using the cold as an excuse. I know it’s just an excuse as we are perfectly capable of working out with a head cold, just not a chest cold. I didn’t go to sleep until after 11pm which is a real luxury for me. So by 3.15am I’d only had about 4 hours sleep.

I did fall back asleep finally until 7.15.am.

I get so caught up in not wanting real milk that I totally forget the decaf thing, every time. Unless someone is there like Mum or Claire screaming “DECAF” over my shoulder. 😆

Gayle bought me my own little jar of decaf coffee for the shop too so I’ve no excuse there. 🥳

I have vouchers to spend in the little gift shop today. To say I’m excited is an understatement. I will actually get to buy some of the things I’ve been eying up all these weeks.

The shop is looking super festive now that Gayle has done the Christmas windows…. And I have to say, this is not the best photo!

I love the bow and the door and Gayle did this all by herself!

Isn’t that just beautiful?

I watched her make a couple of bows for a lady today and it was fascinating. Isn’t it funny how we all have different skills?!? Gayle was wheeching those bows together so easily while I watched on with awe and wonder. I kept going on about talented she was and she kept putting it down to being so easy.

She’s a whizz! I of course took photos at every step 😂

So we had a good day but I was definitely flagging with the cold. It’s just a sniffly head cold but I feel quite wabbit with it. Gayle sent me to get some cold and flu stuff to help perk me up. It worked for a bit, I just have to keep taking it.

When I came home I popped into the pub as Craig was meeting a friend so I had a couple of Coke Zeros before heading home to get into my jammies and a super cosy hoodie! (Yeah I’m reading that back screaming CAFFEINE at myself….. 😆)

Do you remember I talked about the power outage the other night? How I took a call when they phoned to apologise and I said we weren’t affected by it and I reckoned I might have missed out on some apology payment?!? (Such a long sentence!)

We all got a £10 Amazon voucher and a box of chocolates delivered today!! I’ve never heard of that before.

So one last amazing bow!

She made that in under two minutes. 😳

So that’s all from me. Cosy, early night for me tonight as Claire and I are heading off on an 50th birthday surprise trip after work tomorrow! This birthday just keeps on giving. Exciting times!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I went back on progesterone last night for the next two weeks. Craig told the pups to watch out when I told him…. There may be tears in the next few weeks. It’s only 1.35pm and I can feel it already. I’m more emotional and the tears aren’t far away.

I’ve got the start of a cold since I finished my massage yesterday. My nose is constantly running!

I was meant to be meeting mum for shopping today, but she works at a local day centre for the elderly on a Thursday and has to miss next week for a funeral, so didn’t want to miss two weeks in a row.

I hummed and hawed but decided to come shopping myself. I had M&S vouchers for my birthday.

I medicated up with cold and flu tablets and headed to Braehead Shopping Centre outside Glasgow and had the best wee day.

I’m flagging now and sitting in Starbucks with a Christmas red cup full of Caramel Waffle Latte. It’s lovely!

So I’ve had another wee fashion show to myself. I’m not spending my birthday money yet as I need to keep that for Abbie the Campervan and her demanding wobble, but I have managed to buy quite a lot on the cheap.

I started in M&S of course. I got these lovely checked joggies with my birthday voucher.

I also tried on these….

I also saw boots in M&S…. Standing joke in our family that I always got ankle boots for my birthday when I was wee…. It is the season to be fair. They were £45 with 20% off but I left them as I figured I didn’t need them that much. They were in the back of my mind though.

I then headed straight to Pandora as I wanted to get something with Mum and Dad’s money to know that it was from them for my 50th.

I looked at charms but none of them felt right… the girl asked me what my style was.

I told her I didn’t have any style and waved a hand down over what I was wearing as if to say “see?!?”

What a self deprecating thing to say. I wouldn’t be that cruel to my worst enemy. I put myself down every dance I get.

Anyway….. I decided to go for a bracelet instead. I can never have too many and this one mixes silver with rose gold so it’s different to everything else I have. It was also 30% off!!

I was in there for quite a while and by the time I left, there was a huge queue!

Onwards to New Look for a huge trying on spree. They have an “up to 50% off sale”.

From New Look into Deichmann and found the same boots as in M&S but with 50% off. I got the boots for £20! That’s only a tenner per boot…. Then off into Primark.

Didn’t go for either of these two tops though the idea was there, just didn’t think they worked.

Tried this sweatshirt on next as it was to go with the checked joggies….

Show yourself more love….. that rings so true after how I’d reacted in Pandora. This T-shirt was £3.

Now hear me out here….. I took in a leather look jacket.

I love it. It’s a whole £14.

I’ve managed to pick up 2 or 3 different outfits today for under £100.

Now that I write all of this there is a part of me thinking about the labour that goes into making these throwaway clothes…. And I feel a tinge of guilt., but I can’t afford anything else so have to make do with as cheap as I can.

Didn’t get this hoodie but it was cute.

Now I should interrupt myself here and say that Gayle (of the little gift shop fame) has introduced me to an Instagram account called Fabfatand40plus (click link to see her) and I’m really inspired by the clothes she wears and the outfits she puts together. Gayle has also introduced me to different ideas and I have been in my element today putting all these outfits together.

This next photo here shows the boots too.

The garage just phoned…..

Abbie is ready to collect and has stopped wobbling. 🥳

For a mere £740. 😱

Not gonna lie… I cried (Could just be the progesterone 😂)

She needed the o/s and n/ drive shaft and stub shaft.

On the plus side she is no longer wobbling, yay!!

And yes…. Kind of wish I hadn’t spent what I did today but hey…. Least I’ll look a bit smarter when I’m driving my non-wobbly van. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂 clutching at straws here!

I’ve had a lovely holiday. Very chilled and relaxed. Ready for the little gift shop tomorrow!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I had another long lie this morning but missed the Farm. I say long lie but I’m still awake after 7am.

I’m writing this sitting on the couch with the fire burning, watching a cheesy romcom 😂 IN THE MORNING!!!

I mean who does that?!?!

Me, it would seem.

This is the second week of holiday this year that I’ve been stuck in the house without wheels…. Abbie the Campervan is STILL in the garage. They didn’t even call me yesterday.

The last week I had off was in August and I was raging the whole week. I felt like a caged lion…. I wanted to be anywhere but home.

This week I am completely embracing the days at home. I am so grateful for everything that I have.

I went for 2 dog walks in the pouring rain and wind this morning. I enjoyed it. I wasn’t raging that I “had to” do it. it just needed doing.

I forgot the phone on the first walk…. But check Bhru’s wee face… I’m a drowned rat by the second walk.

Had to take my glasses off so I could actually see. A huge downside wearing glasses when it rains.

I came home and had a shower and am sitting watching the cheesiest movie ever. I’m inspired by my friend Tracey in Canada watching Christmas movies yesterday while she’s sick with covid. Get well soon T.

For a long time now I have never been festive. A long time. I think it started when we didn’t have kids and Christmas seemed so magical for folk with kids. I guess I was jealous. I was always a bit resentful that Christmas didn’t hold that same magic for adults. Read this….

It’s only me that has chosen to ignore the magic and pretend it’s not for me anymore.

Working in the little gift shop has helped me get into the spirit of things this year. I also had insider information that the Christmas trees were arriving at the Gateside Plant Centre this morning so I kept “Christmas Claire” up to speed like a nosey neighbour.

I’m planning to be way more festive this year and will start wearing Christmas jumpers in December I reckon. I also have an M&S Advent Calendar with lots of lovely goodies in it. Can’t wait to see what I get. Another birthday gift that will keep on giving. Day 1 is a bigger box than most. Exciting!

I have a long massage booked for 2pm today at Harmony in Beith.

I cannot wait!!

How lovely is this wee room…

I’ve had the best massage. Sooooo good. Can highly recommend.

I was a very lucky girl (see what I did there?!? I still think I’m 18…) and I got lots of Harmony vouchers for my birthday. I usually only have the wee half hour back, neck and shoulders massage but today was the full bhuna! Back, neck and shoulders, legs and facial. Bliss.

I am so chilled out and relaxed I could just sleep. I’m back in front of the fire and have to say awake for the Crochet Hookers at 6.30pm. 😆😂

Oh that reminds me… yesterday we had a power outage planned. Electricity was to go off between 9-10 and 3-5.

It switched off just after 9am but only for about 10 minutes at most.

We were ready for it at 3pm yesterday, having had a very late lunch/early dinner about 2.30pm and I had my book in the sunroom with my wee book torch….. I continued to read and finished my book about 5.30pm and the power hadn’t gone off. It did however, at about 6.15pm…. Just when I had run out of book!!

We were all set up with candles.

The village hall was booked for 6.45pm, for the exercise class, which couldn’t go ahead. Claire took this photo of us outside our houses about 6.30pm, with our phone torches, as we discussed what to do. It a fab photo. I’m in the middle.

It totally sums up the power cut with the candles in our living room.

Scottish Power Network called today to apologise. I told them it was absolutely fine by us, although the Hall wasn’t happy 😆 think the guy got pelters from lots of other people he spoke to so it was nice for me to say it was no bother. Check this laissez faire attitude from me these days…. Bet I just missed out on an apology payment… 🤷🏻‍♀️

Speaking of money… Abbie the Campervan is still not ready but they have actually found the cause now. It’s where the drive shafts link into the gearbox which makes sense…. But wait for it… caused by her lift and big wheels which everyone advised me to buy but have been the cause of every breakdown since they were fitted….. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Grits teeth, smiles politely and keeps hold of birthday money to pay for the work. Honestly I am not moaning about this. I just want her back and want her to drive without the wobble. I will also save up for the old springs to be replaced and have her brought back down to size so we can stop blaming that once and for all!

So that’s all from me today. Chilled and relaxed.

Just about to post when my lovely friend Carol-Ann came to the door with a beautiful gift!

It’s a lovely journal so I can write things down that don’t always make the cut for the blog. How lovely to have an unexpected catch up and good few hugs.

Right…. Feed dogs then crochet!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s a beautiful day that I don’t think really was forecast.

I’ve been pottering round in my jammies all morning so far. I’ve done the housework, hoovered, scrubbed walls (that I wanted to wash before all my family came to stay!) and found a place for all of my lovely birthday gifts. It’s been running going back through everything again. I love this mug from the Crochet Hookers….

I’m also reading a birthday book from the Crochet Hookers called the Girls who Disappeared. I can’t put it down.

I did my bowel cancer test this morning so that’s all packaged up ready to send back. I had to write the date on the outside of it. I quite liked the fact that it’s 22/11/22.

It’s 12.45 and I’ve just wandered outside and sat down on the bench to enjoy the warmth of that sun.

It’s been nice to have a day with no real pressure to do anything. Of course it ss would have been equally lovely down by the sea and I wish I’d gone, but it wouldn’t be a holiday without me wishing I had done wzwsomething else now would it?!?

When we were kids, Dad always wanted a “plan of attack” whenever we had a holiday. He used to clap his hands and rub them together and ask what the plan of attack was. Maybe that’s where I get my desire to fill a holiday?

We took the dogs for a walk early afternoon and I posted my sample.

I’ve just realised that this post box dates back to King George as it says G-R at the top of it. Who knew??

We had a lovely walk and came home and I made beef stroganoff for a very late lunch. I also had a huge bit of birthday cake that’s still going strong. Not much left now.

I’ve sat and read in the sunroom for the rest of the afternoon. It got really cold so I put the stove on in the sunroom and proceeded to sit and roast quietly.

It’s been a lovely day filled with nothing much yet I have a clean house and that’s always a bonus.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I went from glam to camping in one fell swoop.

I’m currently lying outside the house in Abbie the Campervan as both sets of parents are staying over after my 50th birthday celebrations yesterday.

I finally crawled out of the house at 1.08am and left the men to their whisky.

Craig calls me at 2am to say he’s just as happy with the couch…… awwww thank you for waking me up to tell me that darling….. to be fair, it suits me fine as Abbie can be a snore free zone 😂😂😂

Abbie is also 12.5°C inside. Of course my diesel heater chose not to work posting an error 08 code.

I’ve been on YouTube to try to fix it but none of it worked. I’m warm enough, fully dressed under our normal duvet and 2 blankets but the minute you move and expose any part of you to to the elements it’s freezing. My forehead is very cold… I should get up and get my hat. 😆

I didn’t really sleep at all. The silence is both wonderful and deafening. There is a ringing in my ears from the excitement of it all.

For someone who likes to sit by the side of the sea, away out on the rocks, away from everyone…. Yesterday brought a whole lot of socialisation…. Right out my comfort zone these days…. And yet, I had the best day.

I had my wobbles, there were a few tears, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin particularly because I was dolled up the nines which is just not me anymore.

Mums cousin Joyce gave me a beautiful hand made bracelet just before we headed into the village pub for a family afternoon tea…. She got a gibbering wreck of panic and a few tears.

The day started with a hair and makeup “appointment” with Claire next door. She very kindly helped get me ready with s minimum of fuss. I was all set to go home with pinned curls in my hair to unpin them and let the flowing curls cascade. Here starteth the stress 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I could not get the clips out for love nor money…. What seemed to be a perfectly simple operation, turned into a furious, swearing nightmare as they got stuck in my hair and I had to almost rip a few of them out. I panicked and made it worse. By the time I got them out, I couldn’t think straight enough to see the finished article. Craig was busy setting up so wasn’t there to help. Joyce appeared not long after and brought me back down to earth.

I just didn’t feel like me and yet…..it was me, just a part of me that had been buried years ago. Buried in messy buns, leggings and jumpers.

I teetered in to the pub on my ridiculously high heels. It’s been about 4 or 5 years since I wore them. Heels used to be my thing. They are not my friend now.

Quick interlude as it’s 7.49 now and I’ve been awake since 6.15… I can hear the dogs barking and I should head in to see who’s up. However, the wonderful silence of the Campervan is quite addictive. Despite my freezing fingers typing this, I’m reluctant to leave my newly found solitude…. 😆

I head in to the house at about 8.30am and Craig starts cooking the breakfast of champions. It soooo cosy in here.

So we had a family with a few friends for Afternoon Tea at 2pm with the rest of friends turning up at 5pm.

The afternoon tea was amazing. Check these cakes.

It was a good chance for me to relax into my new look, surrounded by family. It was great to catch up with everyone.

We’d no sooner finished eating than the 5pm wave arrived. Lots of hugging and kissing and chatting.

The Tartan Campervan Company and the little gift shop were very well represented!

Tartan always try to hand make a birthday card…. They excelled themselves this year and made one like a table top with a big 50 on it. It’s in the back of this lovely photo of the Crochet Hookers.

I was completely overwhelmed by the amount of people who turned up…. And the gifts that people brought…… the generosity was very humbling.

Not gonna lie there’s a few photos there that make me cringe soooo badly. I feel huge in them. There were old photos all over the pub and I honestly remember feeling huge as they were taken too. What a bad self image.

I had a lovely amazing red velvet birthday cake.

Everyone sang happy birthday and I tried to give a wee speech but didn’t get far without the tears creeping in. I was trying to talk about how much I appreciated their support. I’m not sure I got that point across?!

He’s awfy chuffed with himself!

Everyone was so very kind. So thoughtful.

Thank you to everyone who helped make it so very special and shared my day with me. ♥️

We ended up back in our house dancing (SOBER DANCING for me I might add….. 😳😆)

50th birthday party done and dusted!

So back to the generosity….. here are some of the flowers. Stunningly beautiful.

Look at all the gifts we brought back from the pub.

Here’s a very small selection of the lovely gifts I got.

I will not stop thanking everyone for a long time to come.

Thankfully we have a few days off now to recuperate. You’d think I’d realised I’d be shattered.

Christmas onesie on in front of the tv for the night. A far cry from last night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Sorry for lack of blog today but I’ve just realised the time.

It’s my 50th party today so I’ve had family and friends for an amazing afternoon tea.

At 5pm loads of friends have turned up for a wee evening together!

I’ve had my wobbles but I’m having a lovely time.

Catch up tomorrow!!!

Lots love to you all

Stay safe everyone xxx

Well that interloper did well. I’ve had more likes and comments on his blog than any I have done 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😘

I may not hear the end of that. 😂

In all honesty, his words were amazing and it was so lovely to have a day off and listen to him stressing about “I have a blog to write” which sometimes seems to be my cracked record!!

I have had the loveliest of 50th birthdays.

I have been blown away by the kind words, posts, cards and gifts I have received. There have been floods of tears at times but then w you would expect nothing less. 😂

It all started on Wednesday night when the Crochet Hookers threw a surprise party for me in the pub! They had balloons and banners and a sloth cake!

They gave me a box of 50 gifts…. I honestly couldn’t believe it. I felt the bottom lip go early on. 😂

Here we all are. They are a very special bunch. I got a crocheted cushion, a crocheted sloth and so many other practical gifts including vitamin D and ibuprofen gel!!

They know me so well… I have already used so many of the gifts, that’s when you know it hit the mark. I don’t know I can ever thank them for such a special start to my big birthday.

I had the best day yesterday with Craig. His generosity knows no bounds, he’s so thoughtful and caring and he hasn’t actually annoyed me once in the last few days. That’s always a bonus. 😂

Mum and Dad sent some lovely messages and I definitely cried!

My brother sent a couple of pics too….

Awwwww bless….

Craig and I had a lovely lunch and I got a gingerbread latte with cream to finish. I forgot to ask for decaf 😂

He gave me a row for never looking at the camera. So I did….

Wee selfie on the way back to the car.

If you’d have told me I would have spent my 50th birthday not drinking, I would NEVER have believed you…. And yet I did…

We went to Holly’s next door for pre theatre drinks as we were heading to see the Beith Young Farmers Show. I got more lovely and generous gifts!

It was so lovely to see Holly’s daughter in the show. She was so vibrant, she was beaming and so focused on her every move. She did so well.

I was late in bed but woke up at 6.33pm having missed the Farm. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve been at the little gift shop today and got another lovely gift from the girls!

The shop had no heating today as there was a gas leak in the flat upstairs so I was prewarned. I wore my scarf and gloves a lot of the day. The heating came back on about 3.30 and it felt amazing.

Abbie the camper van has been back in the garage. She’s not fixed yet but I have her back until Monday. The on going saga!

I am shattered tonight. It’s 7.30pm already and so I won’t be late in bed tonight. I have my 50th party on the pub tomorrow. I am super apprehensive. I am worried there will be more tears.

On the other hand I am looking forward to seeing some people I haven’t see for a very long time.

Making special memories.

I might just need my big girl pants on. 😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s 3.59 and I am wide awake….. thanks to the caffeine coffee I stupidly drank yesterday. My heart is providing a big drum beat.

😳

Last day at work today!

We get up at 5am for the Farm and it’s a great workout today. I am buzzing and it feels good.

It was a lovely sunrise.

Half way through the workout I worry that I might meet the milk tanker on the single track roads from the Farm to work. Stop thinking about the milk tanker. Don’t think about the milk tanker. Stop it. Milk tanker. Milk tanker. Milk tanker.

Oh. my. god. we

I did not meet the milk tanker. Relief.

As much as I’ve made this sound like a joke, I was genuinely stressing about what would happen if I met it and I wasn’t in a passing place. Jeez….. the anxiety was bubbling inside of me to the point of panic.

The anxiety carried on this morning as I worried about how much I still had to do. I always want to make sure everything runs smoothly for everyone left behind. I try to preempt every eventuality which I will, of course, never accurately pre-empt.

I wrote a list for everything I had to do and worked through it until it was done. I wrote a handover note and actually there wasn’t that much on it so I relaxed.

Also everyone needs a puppy Peanut in the office. ♥️

I was just finishing up in work when a customer came in looking for a quote. 😬 My plan to escape at 4 was delayed slightly.

So that’s me on holiday now woo hoo!!

It’s the big 5-0 tomorrow 😳 so we’re going to have a guest blogger….. Oor Craigie is going to take the Rambling Sloth helm for the day to allow me to relax and enjoy the day.

I have a nail appointment booked in the morning and then we’re heading to a lovely tapas restaurant in Largs, for lunch. I’m then going out to the Beith Young Farmers Talent Spot show with Holly next door. Her daughter Louise is in the show for the first time! It’s a random 50th birthday night but I have a party on Saturday so I’ll celebrate more then.

So yeah…. Not gonna lie. I’m not remotely ready to turn 50. I still feel like I’m 30. I’m quite overwhelmed by it. With the thought that time is moving on too fast.

Yet I am entering my 50’s a completely different person from the one who entered her 40’s.

No longer living to work, working all the hours god sends and getting through the stress with wine.

No longer putting everyone before myself. No longer assuming that I don’t matter.

I will celebrate my 50th completely sober.

I can’t even believe that.

I’m living life at a much slower pace.

I have to feel every negative emotion without drowning it.

I live in the present moment as much as I can.

I am stunned by all the beauty around us. I never really stopped to look before.

I want to write everything down to understand how I’m feeling. It’s really helped me and I love writing the blog.

I want to take photos of everything and share them with as many people as possible.

I feel very grateful that I got to 50 as so many others do not. There was a time where I couldn’t even imagine what the next day might bring.

So to sum up I guess I’m loving the life we have made for ourselves and I’m just negotiating the wobbles along the way. The ups and downs of everyday life, that are no worse than everyone else’s. I need to remind myself of that more often.

I would like to thank everyone who reads my ramblings. It means so much to me that you would take the time to read what I have to say. I hope that by writing this, my story will help someone else.

Thank you from the bottom on my heart.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It just didn’t stop raining today. It was so dark all day. I ended up having music on at my desk to try and drown out the rain on the portacabin roof!

I never used to be able to work with music but we’ve been enjoying some Ibiza chill classics in the background in the last few weeks.

I got through loads at work. I’m finishing up for a break tomorrow night and not back until Monday 28th. No customers in today… No wonder to be fair, you wouldn’t go out in that unless you had to!

I went to my friend Gemma’s straight from work. She very kindly agreed to take up my trousers for my outfit at the weekend. She did a great job. I love them!

I was a bit spooked driving home. I’m really struggling to see in the dark…. Yeah ok, I hear myself.

The van is wobbling, it’s pouring, the windscreen is streaky and the headlights from on coming cars were blinding me. I wobbled at one point and jerked the steering wheel thinking I was heading in the wrong direction. I got a fright and was like driving Miss Daisy all the way home.

Craig has done an amazing job in the house today. He’s done all the housework and fixed the living room radiator, which was falling off the wall. It’s the best thing in the world to come home to a clean house.

He can stay….. 😆♥️

Incidentally, we have a Shark pet hoover and it has an anti-hair wrap function……. Look at the amount of hair I cut off the anti-hair wrap roller. Absolutely shocking. wouldn’t recommend it for anyone with pets.

My Gran’s Christmas cactus is blooming at the moment. Mum has a cutting from the same plant but her flowers are darker pink when they bloom.

It’s beautifully delicate and fragile.

It made me think of a lovely friend of mine recovering from a big operation. She loves delicate flowers. I sent her a few photos to let her know I thought of her every time I looked at it.

Dinner is in the oven. Chicken chuffed with garlic and herb cheese and wrapped in Parma ham. Least I could do… feeding the worker 😘

So that’s all from me I think. Only one more sleep till holidays.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️