Day 781 very little sleep and the busiest day!!

It’s 7.49pm and I haven’t stopped all day. I know that’s not unusual for most people but I didn’t get to bed until 11.30pm last night. On a school night!!

Rangers very sadly lost in the last second of the game last night in penalties. It was devastating after such a tense game. Hence the 11.30pm bed.

I woke at 3am and couldn’t sleep because Snorey McSnorerson was in action… my head’s been spinning for a couple of days now so I lay getting angry. Not…. at the snoring but at my thoughts…. so I stormed into the living room and tried to sleep on the couch. That didn’t go well but I did eventually make it to 6.30am but by then I was exhausted.

A people pleaser cannot please all of the people all of the time. A people pleaser can only do what she thinks is right and try to please herself. A people pleaser not pleasing everyone all of the time is in constant turmoil. Trying to live a normal everyday life. The fake smile never more evident.

I have had to fight so very hard all day.

We’ve actually had a fantastic day at work. We handed over so many customer vans today…. five in one day!! And you know what… I did all of that despite being shattered and feeling rotten.

We had a living room full last night and I got my hair in French pleats… that’s what the girls were doing while the boys were focused on the game!

I’ve spent the day telling everyone I had the hairdo of a 5 year old 🤣🤣🤣

I need to believe in myself more. I still allow outside influences to shake my core. I use them as a excuse to prove I’m still not quite there yet.

Writing a daily blog becomes difficult when these outside influences are things that can’t be written about. They are not my story to tell… but I soak them up like a sponge.

Don’t stay up as late as I did last night!

Claire and I went a walk with Calaidh when I got home and we put the world to rights.

Calaidh posing in the wild garlic
The rhododendrons starting to bloom

I have to say that I chose to sit on the bloody cactus all day.

I found criticism even in the things that went well and that needs to change.

Tomorrow is a new day. I’m in bed and the electric blanket’s on. I still have my 5 year old pleats. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 and I feel so much better for writing this down.

I have 4 days off work now and I’m heading down to the Lake District to celebrate a very special occasion with Mum and Dad and my brother, sis in law and nephew. Poor Craig has to stay home with the dogs but that’s just one of those things that happens. It can’t be helped but I’ll miss him… and I know he’ll miss me 🤣🤣🤣 that goes without saying…. Who am I kidding?!? We all know the poor boy has peace for 4 days….. 🥴🤣

I guess not every day can be plain sailing and you learn from every experience you go through.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

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