I woke up at 23.37 last night and worried I’d be awake all night… not so… up at 6.30am with the alarm.

I’m punishing myself a bit by not going to the Farm. My knee has been sore and I feel a bit down so I can’t be bothered making the effort. i can’t be bothered shopping, eating and looking after myself.

I know exactly why all of this is happening and that it’s a vicious circle. I feel more lethargic as a result of my bad diet but my bad diet helps me feel better at the time and cheers me up…. I think feel more lethargic after the sugar rush crashes.

I need to allow myself to rest and it’s ok to stuff my face sometimes but I wish I had a bit more willpower.

Anyway.. I was all over the place this morning at work. Very anxious. Overreacting to everything.

I’m bothered by something at work. I feel I could have done something better and I experience intense guilt at anything like that. Irritated by what’s gone wrong and think of a million things that might have presents a different outcome. I should say this is far from the end of the world but I realised mid morning that it was eating away at me.

It created an irritability, a panic that was bubbling over into everything else. The work I was trying to do today got the brunt of it. I didn’t trust my instincts and mistrusted any answer I gave.

As soon as I realised what was causing it, I relaxed.

I had a lovely lunch in the van but this time with my feet up!

The afternoon went much more smoothly. Jeez I can be hard work at times and today was one of these days.

My knee has been a million times better today so maybe it’s on the mend.

I went to bed after 5 when I got home as I was so tired. I got the electric blanket on and cooried in…. With 3 (bloody) Border Collies…. Who’s ears pricked up at every sound… but I must have conked out! Mum called and we had a good chat and she told me it was 6.50pm…. 10 minutes to crochet!!!!

I jumped out of bed, shoved clothes on and picked up my phone… only to find it was cancelled. I must have slept through that 😆🤣😘

So, with encouragement from the crochet girls, I’ve decided it’s ok to be self indulgent.

So cheese and biscuits it is… and Downton… yeah maybe some Downton… again.

Hmmm we have no biscuits… so cheese it is 🤣🤣🤣

Stay safe everyone 🧀🧀🧀