What a difference a day makes. The relief of being “back to normal” is sooooo good. I feel calm, relaxed and more importantly in control.

I almost can’t believe how manic yesterday seemed now looking back. I could read yesterday’s blog and wonder what all the fuss was about. Who is the mad wummin?!?

I woke at 5am but stayed in bed till 6.30am. I opened my eyes and did a kind of body scan. I felt dizzy but I knew the anxiety had gone.

The lightheaded feeling had gone by the time I left for work…

Sitting at my desk and my mind is clear and focussed. I know what needs doing and I can answer questions clearly without that “Kermit” anxiety attack panic.

So today was a big day at work for me! I did the customer handover for the van I helped spec in one of my first weeks at Tartan HQ. It’s the first one to come full circle!!

The lovely girl brought Prosecco for me and beers for the guys to thank us. How lovely eh?! I gave the boys the Prosecco to fight over. 😆

This brought a wee tear. All the way from Canada. After yesterday this was just wow….

I still don’t love myself and I give myself a hard time just for being me. It’s not as if I’m a bad person, I have no idea why I’m always so hard on myself.

I had kinesiology tonight with Shelagh and we did some work that hit me from left field.

If I can’t be open…. What do I think of myself?

Just to ponder that question. All of a sudden. Floods of tears. Out of the blue. From nowhere. Never saw that coming.

Being open is the one thing that justifies me being me. I need everyone to know how I’m feeling so I can relax and excuse myself in any situation. Everyone will go easy on me if they know how I feel deep down.

Jeez I have a dreadful opinion of myself that I need everyone else to justify that it’s ok for me to be me.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense to anyone as it’s only just making sense to me. I’m embarrassed my lack of calmness at times yet I need everyone to know when it happens?!? Go figure?!

I am embarrassed being labelled as “stressed”. I see that as failure.

I’m embarrassed when I get over excited about something as I hear myself chirping like a budgie.

But…. If everyone knows what I’m “going through” on a daily basis then I can allow myself to be me. Wow. You need to sort your head out girl.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 actually we just did that at Kinesiology. ♥️ I don’t know where I would be without Shelagh and her amazing treatment. And… I got two of THE best hugs.

All in all today has been a great day. What a difference from yesterday and such a relief.

Who knows tomorrow might be all sweetness and light. Here’s hoping 🤞🏼

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️