I so very nearly never put a blog out last night. I feel like my rendition of the weather and dog walks and work is a bit dull at the moment. That’s just normal life I guess.
I am super grateful that I’m not feeling awful. My mood is fine so no drama there!
This morning I woke at 5.32am….. to the sound of birds singing away. Only audible because we’re now in the new bedroom in the apex of our roof.
I suddenly remembered I was to be in work for 7am this morning and so very quickly, really woke up!
Jumped out of bed and decided on dog jog this morning.
We went a different way this morning.
Up the hill, so I couldn’t let them off their leads. They sooooo know what is coming.
Normally dog jog consists of me struggling to breathe and them just walking a wee bit faster. Then me running in front of them and me dragging them behind.
Not so this morning. They were bounding up that road…. To the point that my wee legs just couldn’t keep up! I posted a clip on my Insta account at theramblingsloth.
It was so lovely to see their excitement! They literally dragged me up that hill this morning. I was laughing through my breathing!
Here they are on their way back down. Much more sedate.
We did some daffodil sniffing… them, not me obvs.
It was a lovely, quick burst of exercise.
It’s been another lovely day today but fureeeeeeeeeezing!! Such a cold breeze. Lovely blue skies for much of the day.
The highlight of today was the Border Collie that came to visit Tartan HQ. I got lots of puppy cuddles…. Funny I like to get time away from mine but I’m all over someone else’s 🤦🏻♀️😂 I came home from work covered in dog hair… obviously I was most like covered in the first place!
So I left work at 2.30pm as we had an appointment with an accountant for The Scottish Dog Behaviourist.
We had a great meeting and got lots of ideas. The new business is really taking off and it’s great to be a part of it.
So yeah not much else to report. I don’t feel as bored with myself as I did yesterday. That’s a good thing, right?! 😂
My favourite garden plant is flowering finally. We have 3 Forest Flame.
I just love the colours and they will only grow more vibrant in the next few weeks. Spring is coming!
I started the day the wrong way today. I clicked into Sky News….. 😳
There’s a reason I don’t watch, or read the news…..
The world is going crazy. There is far too much drama. Everyone seems to hate everyone else. Everyone is fighting everyone else. Why can’t we all just take a step back and let others do their thing while we do ours.
(That’s easy to say, I guess, until I find something I totally disagree with. 🤦🏻♀️😂)
Social media doesn’t help as we are suddenly carrying everyone else’s opinion about in our pocket.
To be fair, these days, I don’t often have strong opinions either way. These last 4 and a half years have brought out the empath in me.
I feel like I see and feel everything. I can understand why people are how they are. I understand when they are angry it’s a culmination of their day, their life experiences, their stresses, their worries, their beliefs. It doesn’t stop me being affected by it at times. I need to take a leaf out of my own book here!
I used to get quite anxious when I could see how easily they could make their lives better… but that’s not my job to fix. I have enough to do fixing mine.
I might get a bit political for some people (which is not like me at all, but, please bear with me here, it comes from a position of empathetic impartiality… 🫣 at 7.50am on a Sunday…. Check…. Me…….) but I saw a couple of things today that made me sad.
the 155th mass shooting in America in 2023… (it’s only mid April!) under Kentucky law, the gun used cannot be destroyed and has to go back up for auction and use 😳 there will be those who don’t see any problem with that. A gun is a gun is a gun…. And those who are incredulous that law was passed.
I watched the protesters at the UK’s Grand National horse race yesterday and wondered how you could be that incensed about something to risk arrest…. Then proceeded to gulp back tears as I knew the horse that fell at the first hurdle had died. If you absolutely love an animal then how can you put them through that for money?
I follow the Asher House on FB and YouTube, it’s a dog rescue in the States. Lee posted yesterday that a Cat rescue lady had taken her own life. She has suffered badly with her mental health all of her life and had previous suicide attempts. She did amazing work in the cat rescue world and was very vocal about her mental health. She STILL got trolled and couldn’t cope with the negativity that was levelled at her. How can anyone be so cruel?!?!
Look at the HATE directed towards Megan Markle. What if….. even just a teeny weensy bit of her story is true?! What if it’s all true?! It could be and we just don’t know and we are livid with her for ruining the Royal Family’s reputation.
I guess my point is the we don’t know the truth, we can appear just as wrong to the next person with the opposing belief.
We only know what we think and we have been brought up with morals passed on to us by our parents and previous generations. That does not necessarily make US RIGHT.
We can also never assume to know the truth, about anything as there is an insane amount of media coverage in our world.
The Trump supporter follows their biased news as the Biden supporter follows their biased news. Funny how I don’t quote the UK here, I don’t know who they are anymore!!! 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😂
You get the drift.
We can be angry at something for absolutely no reason and WE could be just be as bad as the person or group that we choose to be incensed at.
Just stop for a minute. And breathe.
The next time you get really angry at something… stop, breathe, take a step back and wonder where your anger is coming from.
Why ARE you so angry?
Take a further step back and wonder why the other people might have the opposing view or why they may have done what they have done. What makes them tick?
Don’t always assume the worst.
We are all scared of opposing views. In Scotland people are terrified that independence would break up our great nation and we will be weaker as a result. Better the devil you know…. Yet the other half of Scotland are desperate to get away from the lack of Scottish focus of the UK government.
Understanding this goes a long way.
Not one of us has lived the same life as the next person. Even my little brother and I are very different and we were brought up in the same house 3 years apart.
We all talk about kindness towards each other, but I think that can only be true when we take the time to understand our “opposition”.
Maybe then we can take some of the fire out of our mouths. Maybe we can douse out some of the hatred.
We all need to make a contribution to stop this frenzy.
Otherwise I will have to find an uninhabited island and go live there for the rest of my life.
I’ll have to put barbed wire up around it to stop anyone from getting to it and live my life out in blissful ignorance.
I’m sorry to throw all that at you on a peaceful Sunday but that’s a prime example of how you control your mood and this didn’t go well for me.
I usually look at loads of positive posts on a Sunday morning.
So yeah, I’ve not actually had the best day today. I’ve tidied out drawers and moved clothes around and emptied the desk, but I didn’t achieve half of what I wanted to do.
I found a lot of writing that I did when I was off sick. It’s a good way to see how far I’ve come. Today a bad day is one that just didn’t go to plan. It isn’t one that feels like the end of the world and that’s a huge difference.
We’ve had a movie afternoon as I chose to relax.
I may have had a nap too!
I’ve also re-read what I wrote this morning. The overthinking me worries about upsetting someone. That isn’t my intention.
Craig quite rightly said if someone digs up the pavement outside our front door then we have a right to be upset. Of course he’s right…. 😂😂
I just wish everyone could be kind to each other and just be.
Back to dog walks, house clearances, work and the odd van holiday. Normal service has been resumes tomorrow I promise!!
It’s a beautiful morning. There was frost on the roof this morning, visible from our new garden-facing upstairs bedroom. 🤦🏻♀️😂
I got the running gear on…. It’s been a week since I was last out. Need to get back to it.
I just breathe such a big sigh of relief when I’m out in nature. There’s barely a breath of wind. There’s a warmth to the early morning sun which feels lovely.
The sky is so blue. 💙
And the grass is so green. 💚
Freya didn’t get the “look at the camera” memo.
The daffodils are in full bloom and just so yellow. 💛
There must have been something pretty tasty here. The dogs love a good much of grass.
I didn’t notice it at the time but there’s a bank of mist on the horizon.
It’s just so calm and peaceful.
Keep forgetting that Craig said I should turn the phone upside down to take some photos. Tried it once this morning and it looks really good.
Just love this old gate. It’s been a while since we had a gate photo.
This one is so rusty. It’s just hanging together and no more.
Even writing this now, I take a big breathe in and appreciate the solitude and beauty of an early morning sunny walk.
The village is looking picturesque too!
Back home and the less attractive poop scoop done and I’m sitting in the garden in a T-shirt, drinking peppermint tea.
Freya always has to have something in her mouth. This is a leaf…..
😂
This morning was also all about the tennis ball. 🎾🎾🎾
By the time I left for The little gift shop, the mist had come right in from the sea. There were misty patches all across the fields.
The shop was very bright, sunny and flowery today! It was much quieter today but probably because people saw the sunshine.
I came home and spent most of the afternoon outside. It’s lovely. I’m in a vest top when most folk would be in a jumper but that’s how I roll.
I’m clearing things from around the house into one room and also clearing out drawers. Bring everything outside, sort it into piles and take it all back in…. Yes double handling I guess, but making the most of this lovely day.
It has been cloudy on and off but in general there’s a lovely warmth to the sun.
Can you see what I see?!?
We (there’s that “we” word again) have to cut back the ivy before it threatens to take over the pub.
The Scottish Dog Behaviourist is a man of many talents…. 😂
I’m sitting on that bench now although I’ve moved it round the garden to catch the sun.
It’s so peaceful out here. Craig’s watching the football and I have my feet up. There’s only the odd sound of passing traffic and of course, lots of birds chattering away!!
It’s 6.50pm already and I have no idea where the day has gone.
My phone is out of data, which never happens. I’m catching up on so many messages from today 😂 I need to sort out a new contract…. it’s fine at Tartan and home as I have wifi but nothing today at all!!
Had another great sleep and a fab day at The little gift shop.
Stop the bus. (Bad joke from my past life…) I actually did the window in the shop today.
I say that and as I look a this photo, I see everything that Gayle did to it, or recommended….. so actually Gayle designed the window and I put it where she suggested!!! 😆 I still really enjoyed it.
So not much else from me. I’m tired tonight.
In comfies on the couch in the new living room. And relax!
I woke up at 6.10am when a dog barked (couldn’t figure out which one!) and I’m oblivious to any other movement through the night. Craig said he got up at 1.30 and I never heard a single squeaky floorboard.
Thanks to the progesterone part of HRT.
I used to say here that progesterone was not my friend. 🤦🏻♀️😂 How times have changed….. that’s me back on it for the next two weeks. I was slightly excited when I realised I had to start taking it last night.
My reminder worked…. I didn’t get one saying start taking it, closely followed by one saying stop taking it…. Like I did a few months ago. Check me.
Is this maybe 5 months in now I think and finally the reminders are accurate. Didn’t take that long then eh?!?
It’s been a beautiful day at times. We were really busy at work so I ended up outside a fair bit of the day, which has been lovely!!
We had a photoshoot with a brand new van that we have converted. It only had 65 miles on the clock! I ran around taking loads of photos, as you do, if you’re me. 😂 I was in my element!! Will wait until work share them before I do…. Even though I took them. 😂
It was actually really warm in the sun for a bit today. I’ve got rosy cheeks. 😊
By the time I left work, it was starting to rain. I went to Aldi on the way home and got completely soaked taking the shopping back to the van. Drookit!
So yeah, a good day today.
Bhru on the other hand has lost her ball under this really annoying unit…. 😂
So yeah, if you’ve been reading this week you’ll know I’m gutted it isn’t day 2000 🤦🏻♀️😂 I wonder if I’ll cope with adding a day to the 1100’s without thinking 2000 is just around the corner?!? 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ funny how your mind works. Or funny how mine works.
Didn’t sleep great last night but Fitbit says otherwise. I did my usual mind searching for why my sleep felt broken?!? I have nothing…. 🤷🏻♀️
It was super wet and stormy last night and we usually hear nothing in old bedroom with it’s foot thick walls…… not so silent in the apex of the roof maybe?!?
We’ve love hearing the sound of the weather, it’s a bit like camping but in luxury!
So you know me…. These days I’m a bit of a home bird. Even more so now that I can’t wait to get home to my “new” house. I just want to be here all the time!
I got up early to put away lots of washing. I sat in our new living room and had peppermint tea. I felt like I was surrounded, can’t think why?!?
Don’t leave us mum, don’t go to work. Sooooo could have stayed home today. It’s just too exciting and I want to keep doing “stuff!”.
Anyway, work was great. Lots of customers coming and going and I always love that. The day flew by.
A bit deja vu like… this is dinner!! Only pizza tonight but still better than a bag of crisps.
This photo showed us the foldy up table under the couch cannot stay there…. 🤦🏻♀️
Craig has painted the “sky” on this rooms tealight village…. The boy is obsessed. 😂
I should be clear here and say the tealight village has moved rooms… we don’t have two 🤦🏻♀️😂 we do still have the dark painted shelf in the old living room… I’m sure Craig will already be wondering what he can put on it. 🤦🏻♀️😂
So the only negative to this room is the fireplace. It’s been all blocked up and we used to have the bed cover it up.
Craig cleaned it all out this afternoon and has put some tea lights in it to try and brighten it up. Can’t wait to see what it looks like in the dark.
We obviously want to do something with it but it will have to stay like this for a while.
Forgot to put this in yesterday, Rachel two doors down sent me a photo last night of “ma boat” down in Newcastle!
😆
So not much else to report, I have the Crochet Hookers tonight and I may actually take my crochet with me tonight! Imagine….
What is it with me?! I’m gonna be so disappointed when we hit day 1100 and I’m still expecting it to be day 2000 🤦🏻♀️😂
Anyway, FANTASTIC sleep last night. It seems I can only drink water and decaf coffee to have any chance of sleeping these days. Goodness only knows how I slept on 6 cups of coffee and a bottle of red wine in the olden days?!?!
I’m still loving the hotel/holiday home effect of swapping bedrooms. It gives you a wee smile as it just feels so very different waking up in a new room. It also helps that the rooms that we have worked on are actually spotlessly clean. I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel. A tidy house is a very tidy and clear mind, in my head.
I still have a computer in the small toilet, an extra door in the bathroom and stuff everywhere but the potential is so exciting!!!
Craig’s been a superstar today and moved us into the new living room which was our old bedroom. We’ve decided to call the rooms by their new names…. The living room formerly known as the bedroom 😂😂 gets a bit wordy.
He’s moved so much furniture on his own!! I am very grateful as I really wasn’t relishing the “bite your head off” furniture move. 😂
It’s 7.20pm and I’ve had to force myself to sit down and write this. I’ve been putting things away trying to control the mess.
I’ve cooked a lovely Aldi crumbly Mozzarella and Balsamic Chicken with herby potatoes and broccoli. I ate it in my new living room. The tv seems very far away 😂
It seriously needs decorated but that will have to wait.
It’s lovely to have this feature wall as part of our living room and not just behind the bed.
The tealight village has found a new home!
And finally my Hope Blamire original painting has pride of place on the wall. Think Bhru is checking it out?!?
This is how the room used to look!
I’m sure we’ll change it a lot moving forward but it’s lovely to have something to focus rather than vegging in front of the tv!
I’m listening to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast today with Melissa Urban. She’s written books on setting boundaries and she talks about the importance of putting yourself first before others.
Now it’s quite toe curling at times but it’s a great listen. I’ll post the link.
Boundaries have really helped my recovery. They are not easy to set. Awkward and difficult to stick to at times but I need to be strong to help keep my peace. I can’t do anything that I don’t want to do anymore as I not my best self.
I’m not proud of some of the things I have done but I have done them for, what I thought, were the right reasons for me. I know I have upset some people along the way but good friends will understand and respect your boundaries.
I thought the traffic would be quiet this morning. To be fair, my traffic is nothing more than a road of people driving in the same direction….. I have a cheek to call it traffic. There are never any queues. 😆 Anyway, there were a lot more people working this morning than I expected. That was my point 🤦🏻♀️😂
I’m shattered today. I didn’t sleep well last night at all. I felt wide awake. I got up to the loo at 11.24pm and again at 3.15am. Then awake at 5 and woke as if I’d been dead to the world at 6.15am.
We were in our new bedroom….. it did feel strange but I was just awake. I did drink a lot of lemonade yesterday. That was my treat…. 😂 wonder how much caffeine there is in lemonade?!? I was wired to the moon all night!
Our house must be about 300+ years old…. We have very squeaky floorboards upstairs. 😂 it make such a racket 😂 it will just take a bit of getting used to. We’re both loving the change though.
A change is as good as a rest, my lovely Gran used to say. She was right!
So work was surprisingly busy today. A few lovely customer visits but by the end of the day I had ticked off everything I’d wanted to do, and more.
Do you ever add things to a list just to cross them off because you’ve already done them?!? I do that all the time. It’s super rewarding!
I had a feet up lunch in the van. I just needed a change of scenery. I got the diesel heater on and could have gone for a snooze!
I showed Claire around the “house move work in progress”, when I got home. Her hubby told her not to get any ideas 😂 he had kindly helped us move a wardrobe yesterday when I just couldn’t move it!
So then I tidied up some of the mess. We are living with a computer in the small toilet, a desk in the sunroom etc, so I tidied these up to make a bit more space. It’s one thing to be in a mess but another to have to climb over that mess. I now have organised mess 😂
I also have a spare door inside my bathroom. But that is ok. There’s worst things in life. (Remind me of that the longer this goes on!)
I also made dinner. Salmon fish cakes with skinny fries and roasted peppers and onions. Not sure where this new found dinner inspiration has come from, I’d usually want a big bag of crisps!! It was really lovely.
I lay in bed this morning and caught up on some positive FB feed on my Rambling Sloth page.
Now….. I am not a trauma survivor but I thought this summed me up perfectly. I read that and relax a bit because alone is easy.
It’s not the way to live a life though, you heal from your triggers by facing up to them. As hard as that can be.
Easter Sunday 2023…. The day we started to rearrange our whole house… and I’m not exaggerating!
We have decide on a proper reshuffle. We’ve been talking about it for a while. We have a whole room upstairs that we hardly ever use. So…..
The bedroom will become the living room.
The spare bedroom will become our bedroom.
The office will become the spare bedroom.
The living room will become a dining room and be used as an office if necessary
The dogs room will stay the dogs room….. if we ever find the floor again, now that it’s the new dumping ground.
What a day.
We are knackered and don’t have the luxury of a holiday tomorrow. Least we’ll both sleep tonight.
How many times will we bang our heads on the low roof upstairs?!?! Now that the bed is up there it ain’t ever coming down.
So while the rest of the world ate chocolate eggs, we don’t even have one…. Bah humbug Easter people.
We started at about 8am and finally sat down about 5.30pm. Dinner’s in the oven thanks to my super shop the other day. Chicken wrapped in Parma ham and cheese, with herby potatoes and cauliflower.
Check me. Normally we’d get a takeaway after a day like today but I had food in the fridge which makes a change!
So the house is still a riot and there’s loads more to me done but at least I know where my work clothes are for tomorrow.
Enjoy Easter Monday those of you who are off. Tartan will be going strong. Lots to get through this week!
I should start by saying I smile as I write the blog these days…. As I type up the day and think to myself, I can’t believe we are nearly at day 2000…. We’re not dearest, day 2000 does not come after day 1099 but I think that every single day before my inner voice has a good laugh. 😆😬🙄🤘
Craig politely declined, “bite your head off dog walk” this morning, can’t think why?!? So I headed out for dog jog with the puppers.
The wild daffies are in full bloom!
Bhru’s talking to Calaidh 😂 love the way they look at each other when we run! (They actually do look like they are stationary here 😂😂)
Then Freya started to limp a fair bit. I stopped and checked her paws, found nothing but she was still limping pretty badly.
I then thought I might have to carry her so I picked her up 😳😬 but there was no way on this earth, that I was going to be able to carry her and walk the other two home. 🙄😂
When we got home she had cuddles with the Scottish Dog Behaviourist. That seems to have made it all better.
I went out into the garden to take this through the window. I should say that Craig still uses the crochet blanket I made for him!
I stripped the bed, washed it and hung it out on the line before work. I put a second washing in before I left. It feels cold and might not dry but at least it will get a good blow around in the fresh air.
Then had to pop to the Pharmacy to pick up my repeat HRT prescription. This is my third batch. There’s a shortage or progesterone but I got some of it thankfully. Just have to get the remainder on back order.
I spoke to them about a pain I have in my big toe joint. I’d taken photos in the sun last night when I got home from work. Don’t worry I’ll spare you 😬😆 but she did say she was sorry but……. it may be the start of a bunion…. 😳
I have no pain for days and then all of a sudden it feels excruciating. It’s like the joint has a pulse, yet as I sit here writing, I can’t feel a thing. I haven’t felt it all day today but it was really sore yesterday.
Now I should say here, that we’re no strangers to bunions in my family so it shouldn’t really come as a surprise to me. 😆
I had a great day at The little gift shop. It was really busy. I love that buzz!! When I finished I had to pop up to the Lochwinnoch shop to pick up some flowers to deliver to a lovely customer.
I couldn’t resist a wee sunflower selfie! The sun was shining and it felt quite warm.
I popped into drop off the flowers on the way home and had a lovely chat with a poor lady who is housebound until her mobility scooter arrives. I’m certain we’ll see her flying up and down the pavements soon!!
Home for 20 minutes, changed and back out to the Gateside Inn next door, for what could be the last meal ever. It’s up for sale and the kitchen is closing from tomorrow. We had chicken tempura to share, to start, steak pie for mains and a hot chocolate fudge cake to share, for pud!
I was pre-sad when I only had 4 chips left on my plate!!
We came back home after late lunch and I’ve been pottering. I’ve made the bed back up with the clean sheets, cleaned the windows, tidied up a bit and have finally sat down to write this. I could sleep now!!
It’s clouded over now but it is lovely to have had some bright weather these last few days.
I’m sooooo ready for my one and only day off tomorrow!!
The moon was enormous when I was out with the dogs last night!
It’s like the sun rising….
I woke at 3.30am today and couldn’t get back to sleep. Reckon I did for about an hour and woke about 6.30am. Sluggish and grouchy.
It’s a beautiful morning. The forecast is for sunshine all day. It’s cold though when you’re out of the sun.
We started the morning with me dressed for a dog jog but Craig coming for a walk. A potential photo shoot opportunity!
Treesa, Twiggy and Oakley….. our dog walking group named these 3 trees years ago… yeah I know there’s a 4th in that photo…. Never noticed that one before 😂Look at that frost! Not quite according to plan I love Calaidh’s face here
Now I will be very honest here and say that I was out appreciating the beauty and wonder of the early morning sunset while Craig has a lot on today and used the time to chat.
😬🙈
I did not respond well to this intrusion into my silent wonderment. Is that even English?!? Safe to say…. It was a learning curve. Either go on your own for a walk if you need space or remember that when you’re together that you actually should be capable of communication! Sorry handsome boy 😘
It’s been a beautiful day. ☀️☀️☀️
Everyone that comes into the shop tells me how warm it is outside…. Easily our warmest day of the year so far. I took my gloves off at 1.30pm 😂😂 wore my scarf all day. It was cool in the shop with the door open though we were able to switch the heating off mid afternoon.
The shop is beautiful this week… not that it isn’t always 😂 Gayle has bought loads of new stock. It’s so springlike. Here’s a selection of photos.
I just love working in this beautiful space. It’s been a fairly busy day and passed really quickly.
I’m home now…. Still wearing the scarf but sitting out in the back garden.
Need to go and out some dinner on to save getting a takeaway. Something nice and healthy instead.
Hope you had a lovely sunny day. It might still be warm-ish when I finish work tomorrow, I hope!!
Tried really hard to get back to sleep but just couldn’t do it. Too much whirling round in my head.
As usual work went really quickly today. There were no major dramas and I got through loads of work and sorted everything ready for a busy week next week.
Craig dropped me off and picked me up again and we went straight to the garage tonight, to pick up his car. I have my wheels back!’ Poor Abbie the Campervan has done loads of mileage this week chauffeuring me around although it has been lovely not having to drive.
On the way back home I stopped in at Aldi’s for a food shop. You’ll be pleased to hear I did eat today. Only fasted for 16.5 hours. That’s way more manageable. 😂
I’ve got some nice healthy food to stop us wasting money on takeaway over the weekend. Check me!
It’s 7.30pm already. The Tartan washing is on. If I don’t do it now, I’ll forget. 😳😂
We’re working Monday so no big Easter break for us. Lots of suppliers were saying, have a great Easter, have a great weekend! Least Monday will be quiet.
It’s been lovely and sunny since I left work. It felt really warm through the windows of the van. I think it’s to be nice tomorrow too. Sunshine always puts a spring in your step. ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️
I was hoping to fit in a wild sea swim in the morning before the Little gift shop, but, I got the tides wrong and the tide is out at 7.23am and not in. 😂 That just means a long, cold walk back to the van!
I also may have seriously overthought this (no, surely not, I hear you say….😆) but when you go swimming at high tide, you are swimming over ground that you can walk on later in the day, when the tide is out. When you go swimming at low tide, you are swimming over ground that never sees the light of day. Not sure I fancied that?!?! 😂 I know…… it made me laugh thinking it though.
Now that I’ve written that out I realise it’s completely crazy. I’ve swum in lakes and ponds before that aren’t tidal…. 😂😂😂 at least I make myself laugh at times.
After my 24 hour fast yesterday I stood side on to Craig and said “can you still see me?!? I’ve wasted away….” 🤷🏻♀️😂😘
It would appear I’m still fairly visible. 😆
Also does anyone actually know about this…… I don’t watch or listen to the news but Craig hadn’t heard of it either.
Is that even a thing?!? It’s not been that quiet on the western front today but it has been wonderfully calm.
I was shattered after Kinesiology last night, as expected.
We do the call over Zoom and I’m conscious at the start, I’m cuddled into Gran’s crochet blanket, as if protecting myself or hiding from the things that make me feel sad. It’s funny how we can see a physical change in ourselves when we feel low. I look shattered, I look sad and I’m all curled up inside of myself.
As usual, describing Health Kinesiology is one of the most difficult things to do but I cannot tell you how much I love it. I’m intrigued to see what my body will want to work on (yeah I hear that sounding as crazy as it sounds….)
I think I’ve been absorbing a lot of negative energy these last few weeks and my fight or flight response has been triggered a lot. If something doesn’t sit right with me, I literally have an eruption within me that spews anger inside of me. It’s a completely irrational response to something that is not that bad. It might show as a defensive comment, a snide remark, a dig, a joke but inside I’m ready to run. My hands are thrown up in the air, I’m making that face of a huffy teenager who can’t get her way. Most of all I’m incensed by something that really is nothing. The voice in my head is telling my that it’s what I deserve, I’m not worthy…. Blah blah blah.
Kinesiology takes all of that and gives me rational reasons for it all.
So I slept like a log. Completely out for the count until 4.45am. Someone…… who shall remain nameless, may have been awake 😂
So I wrote all of this before I went to work today. I feel like I’ve been inside a washing machine ever since!!!!
I had a quiet morning, got lots done and this afternoon my worst case scenario happened. A rental camper broke down on my watch!!! My first reaction was one of horror….. I’m the only one that can deal with it today. Panic, panic, panic…… nope I can’t do that today, I have to deal with this. I started talking to myself calmly and rationally. I was devastated I had to phone my boss for a phone number and interrupt his day off but I worked my way through it all. I even messaged a friend up north to ask if he knew which garage would pick up the recovery. I then called the garage about an hour before the RAC finally called it through to him!
My fear is that I will do the wrong thing or not do it how it should be done. Today I had confidence in myself that I would do it the way I did it and that that would be ok. Let’s face it. It’s not hard to do and not much that can go wrong. I just usually panic and don’t think rationally.
I’m so chuffed with how I handled that today.
Can you see how hard it is to be in my mind sometimes and I am certain I’m not the only one.
In other news however, I forgot to eat today.
Now don’t all get angry with me and tell me it’s not good for me, but by the time dinner is ready I will have fasted for 24 hours. I am barely in control of my speech and I have the giggles so I definitely couldn’t manage any longer than this. We have talked about trying a 4 day fast but I honestly couldn’t do it, I’d pass out.
It gets quite addictive. I missed lunch as I was on the phone from just before it. I then had customers come in and they took up a bit of time. By the time I went back to my desk I had messaged to respond to and all of a sudden it was 3.45. I didn’t feel like eating my lunch so thought I’d wait until dinner. Craig and I are both so hangry that we couldn’t decide what we wanted so that wasted some more time 😂
Anyway I won’t make a habit of this. It was only because I was getting a lift home.
That could be the biggest load of waffle I’ve ever written 😂
I slept ok. I still feel tired but I do feel a lot brighter than I did yesterday.
I saw on FB first thing that it was a beautiful sunrise so I jumped outside… across the road in my jammies. 🤦🏻♀️😂
There are no filters here. Honestly the colours were just breathtaking. ❤️🧡💛
Then when I turned back to the house I realised the pink and purple was equally stunning. By this time the dogs are out playing. Always about the tennis ball 🎾
So yeah… a lovely start to the day before my shower even.
I’ve felt much better today. The sadness has gone. I still feel quiet and tired but none of that gut churning panic or nerves either.
It’s a quiet relief. I can breathe freely.
It’s been a quick day. Craig had to drop me off and pick me up as his car’s in for service and MOT. Being chauffeur driven home is really nice👌
Check the packet of crisps I opened at lunchtime…… 12 crisps in the bag. No wonder they’re classed as low fat crisps 😆
I counted them out 😂😂😂
So I have kinesiology tonight. I’m already calmer as a result… I will be shattered after it but I’m excited to see what we work on. I need to deal with this new found fear of driving and reversing. Take some stress out of that, among other things.
The sun has been shining all day but it’s been quite cold in the breeze. I chose today not to wear the long sleeved T-shirt. 🙄 I walked out to a frozen windscreen!
I’ve not felt great for the last few days.
I feel really sad. I’m fairly certain it’s hormonal as it’s been so irrational. There’s no real reason for it.
There are a few things that I’m “trying not to worry about”….. that says it all.
I spend so much of my time living in the moment but sometimes I’m whirled out of that.
I feel very off kilter. Out of balance.
I felt quite sad when I went to bed last night but fine. I was fine when I woke up, no real dread for the day ahead. Tired and couldn’t be bothered, but that was all.
By 8am the tears were burning in my eyes and the day didn’t get much better.
Anyone who spent more than 10 minutes with me today, got it! Sorry guys. I just have this overwhelming urge to sob my heart out.
I wonder where that comes from? I feel very hollow and empty. I have no oomph. I’m listless.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the tears stayed in but they have to come bubbling over when I try so hard to squeeze them in.
And yet the sun kept shining… while I sat under my heavy, dark cloud.
I had a reminder set on my phone to call the Doc for a repeat HRT prescription.
I called at 12.32pm. “I’m sorry but our prescription line is now closed” (course it bloody is!) “we are closed for lunch between 12.30 and 1.30, please try again later….” Does the prescription line not realise how much it took for me to actually remember to call them in the first place?!?! Course it doesn’t.
I’ve arrange Kinesiology for tomorrow. For the first time since October. I am nipping this in the bud before it grows arms and legs.
This next one is amazing. So very true. Somedays I feel like I move mountains but today I’ve definitely crawled through it like a caterpillar…. Or a slug. Actually that’s it, I’ve slithered through the day like a big black slug. (In my head obviously 🙄)
I’m off out for a walk with Claire now. Be nice to see some early evening sun. It’s 7pm and still sunny which is lovely.
Tomorrow is a new day and I have survived 100% of the bad days so far.
I didn’t sleep well last night. Well that’s not true really, I did, but I only got about 6 hours so I’ve been tired today. It’s 4.30pm now and I’m toying with the idea of going for a nap but it feels a bit late in the day. Can you hear how much overthinking there is in only in my first sentence?!
I’ve had a lovely wee shopping trip with mum today.
I left at 8.45am this morning and met Mum at 10am at Livingston Designer Outlet. I realised on my way home that we never got a quick pic together!!
I did have a wee photo shoot in M&S… as you do!
Note models own jumper…. 😆 Picked it up in M&Co in Oban last Monday for £13!
Loved the jeans and sweatshirt combo but not made of money just now and this would have set me back about £60.
Was really drawn to this colour of trouser….. I’ve never been able wear a Chino funnily enough. It would appear I’m still not cut out for a Chino 😂
Models own vest top which doesn’t remotely go with the chinos 😆
Now everything I tried on today was a size 14 or less…. I am so chuffed with that. It’s been a long time coming. These chinos, however, cut me in half!! I tried on some 14 cargo trousers that were hanging off me.
And finally these cargo shorts! Now these were the comfiest shorts I have ever worn. Again £30 which seemed a bit steep…. But soooooo soft!
Not actually certain that they did much for me to be honest.
Then back to me!
We had a Starbucks late morning and stopped in at Krispy Kreme for a cuppa and a doughnut. Check how cute these are!
That’s a rabbit’s bottom as it burrows a hole into the ground! It was called a Burrowing Bunny 🐰😆 there was chocolate fondant inside.
I also picked up a couple of T-shirts in Primark.…. They are a lovely shape and SIZE XS …….. that’s EXTRA SMALL…….. 🥰😍🥰😍 as Mum said they must be very big made. 😳🫢😬
Remind me never to put my hands in my pockets for photos again… 🫣
I just loved the cheery colour of the next one. It’s actually pretty close to the best top I was wearing. Also it says Cali! After our Calaidh puppa. (Obviously not but I liked that too.)
Bhru is less than impressed.
I also got a lovely rain proof knee length jacket from Primark, that I forgot to get photos of. It was a SMALL!!!!! Again, yes, big made…… 🙄 but I cannot tell you how lovely it is to not have to search through the L and XL and XXL for once. All this fasting is really paying off.
I’ve just had the loveliest and simple Sunday night tea. Fried egg on sourdough. So tasty!
I’ve totally missed the fact that it’s April already.
I saw quite a few April Fools that I thought I would share with you. The first from the Scottish Dog Behaviourist…. Obviously 😂🏴🐶
A few funnies to end with. Hope you all have a great week!
Boom…. My day in one sentence. I slept really well but woke to a barking pupper about 6am. Of course they went back to sleep.
I randomly started my day with a trip to IKEA! I was picking up new shelves for the Little gift shop, Beith store.
The delivery costs were so high that I offered to go and pick up the shelves in the van….. all macho like and zero concept that they may be heavy…… they were awfy heavy!!
This is where the fun began. 😆
The first box was heavy but easy enough…. The second was sooooo heavy. By the time I got to the fourth and last box I had to ask for help. I was knackered. 😆
I got back down to Beith by 10.30 and we had a busy morning in the shop. I was working with Lindsay today as Gayle was in Lochwinnoch.
Big shop news today is that Gayle is going back down to 2 shops and is letting Dalry go. Elaine, who’s been working there is going to take it on by herself. Exciting times! Also can’t wait to see the space we have in Beith with the new shelves. Could have stayed today , built them and filled them all up 😂😂 I know, I need to get out more.
Speaking of getting out I met my lovely friend, Shelagh, for coffee after work. We went to the new Lochshore coffee shop which was really lovely. We had scones with butter and jam.
It was so great to catch up. Those of you who’ve been with me from the early days, might remember Shelagh as the lovely lady I went to for Health Kinesiology. She’s not been well but just looked so bright and fresh today. She was like a breath of fresh air. It was so lovely to see her and catch up on our news.
The Lochshore hub has sprung up from nowhere. It’s great to have a wee coffee shop down next to Kilbirnie Loch. No photos dammit!
I met Gayle afterwards, at the Beith shop and we unloaded the shelving units. So much easier with her muscles as well!
Popped into the Co-op on the way home to get some food for dinner and spotted this jar of coffee…. £9.35 a jar. I swear I bought this for £3.99 in Home Bargains less than a year ago.
That photo makes it look in like a big jar but it was just the 200g jar…. The normal size. I am horrified at a jar of coffee can be £9.35. Again you can tell I don’t get out much! 🤦🏻♀️😂
I’ve had a lovely day but I’m tired now. Had wise all good though. Cam and relaxed.
I’m wrapped up in a crochet blanket with wee Freya right next to me.
I woke up at 6 and managed a dog jog today. It was tough going, I wasn’t feeling it but I did it and I ran a fair bit of the way.
(On reflection there are a lot of photos…. 😂)
I hunkered down on the road here, to get this shot and then all of a sudden realised there was a car coming up behind me 🤦🏻♀️😂 felt a weeeee bit daft 😂😂
Love this next one…. It was windy but a lovely start to the morning.
I had a really good day at The little gift shop. The day went really fast and I really enjoyed it.
I put out a lot of the new Easter gifts for sale. Now, I’m not particularly creative so I did struggle setting it out but I think it actually looks ok.
Also put out lots of new Gisella Graham candles and candle jars.
Gayle and I then cleaned and redecorated the shelves behind the till. I think they look lovely.
The stock is just so pretty just now. Very springlike.
I was home for about 5.30 and we popped into the pub next door for a couple of drinks before dinner. I had 0% Whitely Neil Raspberry Gin. It was really nice to catch up with everyone for a bit… and the gin wasnae half bad too!!
The Rambling Sloth 🦥 