Healing mental health during COVID-19 times and beyond
Author: Julie
Iām healing from anxiety and depression and exploring my way through a whole new lovely world with an abundance of awareness and a new love for life⦠and travelling the world!
You know I love me a little stat and I have precious little to say tonightā¦.. at the risk of sounding completely repetitive and boring myselfā¦. It was another crazy busy day at work today. Not enough time to swing a cat. š¤¦š»āāļøš
I had a great sleep until someoneās alarm went off at 5am. Someone fell back to sleep while I lay and did some work in my head. š¤š¤¦š»āāļø
Back to the stats ehā¦.
1631 days since I walked out of the office in floods of tears no longer able to function
1510 days since I gave up self medicating with alcohol
1050 days of writing this almost daily blogā¦. I know I duplicated days at the start so itās actually been more than this but Iām just splitting hairs š
951 days since I last touched a drop of alcohol
694 days since I started work with Tartan HQ
556 days since I stopped taking anti-depressants
151 days since I started working at The little gift shop
117 days since I went on HRT
63 days since I started daily fasting
3 days since Craig launched the Scottish Dog Behaviourist and started the next chapter of our lives
1 day since I said I was busy at work and tired!
So yeahā¦. Thatās the best way to sum up today, on a big positive.
I even went food shopping after work for the first time, in what feels like, forever. I bought lots of veg and came home and ate a cheese roll and crisps. š
Iāve written the opening paragraph 3 times already and I sound like a right grumpā¦. So Iāve deleted it!
Itās been smirry rain all day but thatās also not the end of the world. Itās that fine rain that soaks you, as my Gran would say!
Thereās nothing wrong with me, Iām just tired.
I had the best sleep⦠this was the first Monday with no Farm so I actually got a good 7 hours and 51 minutesā¦. Bliss.
Weāve just had another really busy day at work and the day has flown in. I find it hard to write the same thing every dayā¦.
Itās been a good day. My headās been good but after 19.5 hours of fasting, I did know that I needed to eat to clear my head. It got a bit fuzzy just before lunchtime.
Craigās Scottish Dog Behaviourist FB page membership has been growing well. The sharing of his FB post over a Saturday and Sunday, hit 7.5K people. Isnāt that amazing and we are so very grateful to everyone that shared it. He already has one booking and five more calls to make. Itās super exciting and lovely to see him so passionate about his work.
Iāve become really addicted to checking the number of his followers. Iām also super proud that heās using many of my videos and photos!
(I have to say that I take these scarves out the drawer now and I feel like the puppers head for the hills š¤¦š»āāļøš not that again⦠she wants more photos?!? š)
So I could have been really negative today. About the weather, the being super busy⦠blah blah⦠but actually I have so much to be grateful for, Iāve managed to turn it around writing this.
Always knew there was a reason I wrote this! šš
We had a lovely meal in the Gateside Inn last night, for Mumās birthday.
Dad and I had Peppered Beef with Rice and Veg, Mum had Chicken Tempura and Craig had Chicken & Leek Pie.
Holly had laid on a bottle of Prosecco and a bottle of Nozeco for us which was so lovely of her.
Dad and Craig had lentil soup to startā¦. For the first time ever, I never had a starter. Unheard of!
I did, however, order the Toasted Waffles with Tablet ice cream and toffee sauceā¦
Of course Mum and I had to share it as it is massive!!!! but very, very goodā¦
By the time you eaten a Gateside meal, there is nothing else for it but to put your feet up in front of the fire, especially since you were awake since 5am. š
We lit the tealight village when we came home and I managed to stay awake for another hour before heading to bed at 10pm. Rock me on a night out eh?!
Mum got lots of cuddles whether she liked it or not!
I slept really well and woke at 6.48 which is a lie in for me these days.
Craig did a lot of work on his Scottish Dog Behaviourist page this morning and put out a post asking as many people to share as possible. We joked that maybe 20 people wouldā¦. We are so very grateful that currently he has 118 followers now which yesterday, midday, was ZERO. The response has been phenomenal and we are truly grateful.
88 people have already shared his post! This is where social media plays a great roleā¦. in creating awareness.
Heāll be doing 2 or 3 posts a day to help us understand our dogs a bit better. Jeez Iām tired, you know what I mean but that didnāt even really make sense to me!
He went off to meet the village woodcutters at 10 and Mum and Dad and I headed down to Gro Coffee in Irvine. Here are the pups getting settled when we left.
Hereās Mum in Gro on her Birthday Boxing Day!
The food in Gro Coffee is out of this world. I had the breakfast taco, Dad had an omelette with Cajun chicken and Mexican veg (which resembled a calzone pizza) and Mum had poached eggs with smoked salmon. It was exquisite.
Poached eggs with smoked salmon on sourdoughThree cheese omelette Breakfast TacoThe huge selection of Gro cakes!
Mum bought a huge strawberry tart for Craig and we went for a freezing cold, brisk walk along the promenade!
Itās wild and all though 8°C, the wind chill made if feel so much colder!
Iām really looking forward to some sunshine, even just blue sky would be lovely. Itās not very picturesque at the moment though it was certainly dramatic.
Irvine Beach
We got home by 2ish and Mum and Dad left to head home. I think I might need a wee nap after all that lovely food and sea air. The wood burning stove is on in the sunroom, for the first time in ages, and I might just settle into Granās chair like old times.
Oh I should show you my beautiful flowers⦠the tulips from Mum and Dad and the roses from Claire through the week. What a lovely surprise and theyāre such a joy to see. A reminder of brighter weather to come!
Thanks again to all of you who have shared the Scottish Dog Behaviourist. Itās the only way he will become known. Your distance from us shouldnāt matter as he will share lots of tips on a daily basis and eventually run online courses so that everyone can have access to his work.
For those of you who donāt have dogsā¦. I will talk about something else one day, I promise ššš
Itās Mumās birthday today and theyāre coming over this afternoon so we can have dinner in the pub next door.
Itās 2.40pm and Iām in bed to write this and catch a quick 40 winks. Theyāll be here at 4pm.
It was busy in The little gift shop today, as people came in to congratulate Gayle on taking on a 3rd shop in Lochwinnoch.
There was lots of excited chat!
I also cleared away Valentineās Day and brought out Motherās Day. (19th March in the UK!). Cleared the shop window out and cleaned the window and the front glass door.
Craigās also started doing loads of FB posts for the Scottish Dog Behaviourist, so Iāve been sharing all that. Thereās been a lot of social mediaā¦..
So yeah, Iām tired. Been up since 5am. Dogs walked, house cleaned.
It was a dreich morning but I got loads of photos today as there was a strange light in the sky.
There must have been a lot of rain overnight as the burn was swollen.
I became strangely obsessed with the pylons todayā¦.
The sky looked so heavyā¦.it was really unusual.
So I have an hour till my folks get here. Gonna put this out now and get a quick Power Nap!!
Have a great Saturday afternoon and evening. Pics from out night to follow tomorrow!
Itās 5pm and I am shattered. Exhausted. Knackeredā¦. But I have lots of exciting news to share!
Up and at āem for my last Fit Body Farm as a full time member š¢ never saw that coming, did you?!
It was a tough workout. 15 minutes of constant exercise, trying to do as many circuits as possibleā¦.. twice!!!!
Check the state of me by the time I was finishedā¦.
I walked up to Gavin, the Coach, and gave him a sweaty hug and started to cryā¦. He said that we should say āsee you soon, rather than goodbyeā. I hope that we will be back.
It doesnāt matter where you are in the worldā¦. If you have a dog, please go take a look and follow him. (Also in Insta!)
Heāll be posting loads of info and will eventually have a YouTube channel and online courses!
Itās all happening!
In other news, the little gift shop made a big announcement on FB today. If youāre local go check out Gayleās FB page! Exciting times for her too!!
So I just need to make sure I keep exercising somehow, as the Farm has been very good for my mental health. I canāt let that slide.
So maybe that explains my mood in the last few weeksāā¦.. Iāve been shattered all the time but thereās been a lot going on that was not my story to share. Iāve been supporting Craig when Iāve not been at work. Heās obviously the one doing all the hard work!
Iām really looking forward to getting involved in his new venture. Sorry in advance, if I go on about it a bitā¦. It means a lot to us that he is successful. Remember that we want to share as much of this worldwide with anyone who has a dog or dogs.
What a day! 7am to 4pm with a wee cheeky half hour in Abbie the Campervan. I literally could have slept there all afternoon. I put the diesel heater on and it was super cosy.
I had the best sleep last night. It was sooo good. I felt really refreshed when I woke up.
Last night was the first night back on the Progesterone, for the next 2 weeks. It helps you sleep.
Iāve been really emotional today though. Iām not that sure why. Claire sent me thisā¦.
To be honest, Iāve never heard of dumfungled but I love it!
I am really tired. Weāve been super busy but itās been a good week.
I started off at 7am, with the list I wrote last night and I actually got through most of it during the day. Iāve finished up tonight feeling way more organised than I did last night.
Iāve felt really sad today. There were tears a few timesā¦. Honestly for no real reason. Could just be the hormones.
I was home by 4.40 and made a pasta bake for dinner. It was ready just before 6pm but I was heading over to the Village Hall to help set up for a Psychic Night thatās running tonight, to raise funds for the Hall.
I have the chance to go and I swithered for ages but decide not to.
One day Iāll actually go to something like that instead of avoiding it.
The girls were super lovely as we set up. Always a lovely word to say. Their kind words mean a lot to me.
I came home for dinner and am back on the fasting again.
This next one is only for laughs as Iāve not lost my shitā¦. šš
No one wants a shit storm!
Hope the girls have the best night while I curl up on the couch.
Good sleep!!! Great sleep actually. I was still pretty hot through the night but I was out for the count until 4.15am. (yeah I know thatās ridiculously early!)
My friend Anne tagged me in this! š
That made me laugh! So yeah, off to the Farm and the moon was AMAZING this morning. Iāve no photos as I was driving.
It was a prefect chunky crescent š and it was almost red. It just hung in the sky, not far from the ground. I was blown away by it the whole way to the Farm. I love appreciating nature like that.
I can hardly walk by the time I get there! My muscles are so tight from Friday and Monday. It was another great workout. Lots of weights and running.
The sky was lovely when I left. The sun was starting to rise. We were so lucky to get the workout done before the rain hit.
Itās lovely to leave in the almost daylight.
It was torrential rain from 8-10 ish. Stotting off the ground, such a difference from the early morning.
My day flew by in a heartbeat. Honestly, I donāt know where the hours went. It was so busy and I had people in from late morning for most of the day. I was going to stay late but I was too tired. I knew Iād not concentrate properly and end up wasting time. Iāll go in early in the morning again and try to clear the decks before the weekend. Itās amazing the business that the Show has generated for us.
I still struggle with being out of control. Iāve tried to write a list of things to do in the morning. I just need to stick to it when I get in.
Iām off to meet the Crochet Hookers in the pub next door in 7 minutes. Sure weāll get a good chat and put the world to rightsā¦.
Oh that reminds me, Scotlandās First Minister Nicola Sturgeon resigned today. (thatās was a quick switch in conversation eh?!)
I know so many people who donāt have a good word to say about her but Iāve nothing but respect for the commitment sheās shown our country. š“ó §ó ¢ó ³ó £ó “ó æ
I was up at 5.30am and in work for 7.15am. Weāre so busy just now that I feel like Iām not making a dent in it!
There was another lovely ladyās funeral today and I passed on my apologies that I couldnāt make it. I really wanted to be there, to pay my respects but the logistics of that, and coping with the workload would have been too much. I am so very sad for her lossā¦.
I can still hear her voice and her deep laugh. I can see her wink and feel her hug.
I also canāt walk away from the amount of work that needs doing. The people pleaser in me isnāt sure how to handle this so I have to do what feels best for me at the time.
I think about her a lot. Sheās in every tree and it makes me smile. I know how ridiculous that sounds by the way. Iām just saying it how it is!
Carole this spooky tree, from last year, is just for you. Iām sure you would have commented on it.
Iām really tired tonight. I feel a bit meh and Iāve lost the giggly spring that I had in my step yesterday. Nothing that a good sleep wonāt fix.
Itās also Valentineās Day today but weāve chosen not to do anything for it this year. I like this next one that my friend Carol-Ann shared.
And definitely thisā¦.. ā„ļø
Iāve just read this back and realise it sounds a bit down. Iām really not. Looking forward to my cosy, clean bed!!
I didnāt sleep great last night⦠woke at 1.30am, then again at 3 and finally up at 5am for Fit Body Farm.
It was a great session outside this morning. I love the outdoor workouts. It was actually light by the time I left at 7.30am!
The snowdrops are blooming in full force.
It was lovely to see the daylight that early⦠the forecast was for pure blue sky all day. It never really happened. I was soooo hoping for a sunset at the beach after work tonight. It was not to be!
There were sunny spells today but nothing f of any significance. Shame! I was looking forward to a good dose of vitamin D.
Work was crazy busy today. The customer enquiries have just kept flooding in since the show. Itās been an amazing response. The phone has not stopped ringing all day! I have taken more work instead of actually doing any⦠all day!!
Itās all good. Itās been a fun day. Iāve felt a bit excitable, a bit giggly. Itās been a lot better than getting stressed out.
I donāt like being out of control but Iāve actually laughed at it todayā¦. Thatās the way to be. And long may it continue.
Iām cuddling with Bhruic on the couch now.
Will go into work early tomorrow to try to get some done before the phones start ringing again.
I had such a great sleep last night. 8 hours and 19 minutes⦠I woke feeling refreshed. Clean bed has a lot to answer for.
I didnāt get night sweats for the first time in about a week and a half. I could have stayed in there all day and as I write this I think it would actually be nice to go back š
Had a nice decaf black coffee in my slothee mug! (from the Crochet Hookers for my 50th!)
So yeah⦠as usual on my day off, I want to do absolutely everything but actually I really want to do nothing. Itās half 1 already and I have dusted and polished the fire place and window ledge in the living room. Iāve tidied out the ācandleā cupboard (yup we have one of thoseā¦) as it was a mess. Iāve hung one washing and put on another and Iāve walked the dogsā¦. For the first time in AGES!!
Itās a dull and fairly nondescript February day. Itās cold at first but then hot when youāre walking. I may have overdressed. The sky is grey and everything looks a big damp, soggy and miserable. It doesnāt make for the best photos! off out with Bhruic and Freya first.
Then back home for Calaidh.
Now Calaidh is not the most agile of dogsā¦. She doesnāt run half as much as the other twoā¦. was lovely to catch her jumping this burn.
This was the most arty shot I could find⦠very slim pickings this morning š
Today was all about the water!
She really is a cutie pie.
So itās now half 4 and I really have done nothing of any significance. I managed 19.5 hours of fasting.
Iām in front of the fire with a book while the football blares on the tvā¦.. š
Itās been a restful day. Iām chilled and relaxed. Iām sure weāll be binging Happy Valley as soon as the football is over!
Wow, 1040, feels like about 5 minutes since day 1000ā¦. Life is passing by at a great rate of knots.
Awake at 5am today and itās now 6 and Iām still lying in bed so thought Iād start this early. Iāve dosed up on positivity from my The Rambling Sloth FB feed. No nasties on there.
I found this. I was diagnosed with anxiety in 2018 when I first went off sick from work. But thisā¦. Got me right in the feels.
100%. My body wouldnāt let me do that to myself for one more dayā¦.. well it let me go back for 5 months but they were the most pointless 5 months everā¦. I was there because I felt I āshouldā. That word againā¦. Think about every time you feel you āshouldā do something. Does that not mean that we really donāt want to do it? It becomes a chore⦠how does your body make you feel when you force yourself to do something that you feel you āshouldā do?
Mine has a stroppy child inside that huffs and puffs and waves angry arms around⦠seriously. Sheās totally in her element when I feel I āshouldā do something.
I think Iām pretty selfish these days. Selfish seems a very negative wordā¦. Actually I know what works for me and what doesnāt. I need to listen to my body and it knows whatās right for me and whatās not. If something raises that stroppy child then itās not really something I should be doing.
I feel a detachment from people at times. I donāt have s hectic social life, I donāt see lots of people because I have to build downtime into my week. Iām ok with that but I do feel I āshouldā make more of an effort at times.
Iāve been really stuck by 2 people who have died recently and by how much their deaths have affected me. For those who donāt know who they are, I will say that neither of them were close friends. Jeez that sounds awful but Iām trying to say that saying sorry for my loss seems wrong as the loss is felt WAY more by othersā¦. But Iāve been profoundly affected by both lovely ladies and they will never know the impact they had on my recovery. Oooh a wee tear escaping there.
Both of these women, who hardly knew me, took time out of their busy lives to connect with me when I was ill. One was absolutely determined to get me out of the job that had broken me and the other always with a wink and a hug and the right words at the sad times.
Where am I going with this? I guess itās to tell you all how much we do impact other peopleās lives. Someone will remember you for the smallest things⦠a song, a smile, a memory, a wise word, a hug, some loveā¦.
And sadly on the flip side, there will be those that we remember for the wrong reasons. If someone doesnāt feel right to you then YOU are right. Your gut instinct is right. Someone who doesnāt treat you well, makes you feel bad every time you connect with them, gives you a dog, a back handed snide remark, those are not your people.
I read recently in the Happiful Magazine. Worth a follow by the wayā¦. You should not be scared of not being likedā¦ā¦ eek!
Well I have a long, long, long way to go with that one. Iām not sure how to get my head around it.
I have hurt people on my journeyā¦. I know there are people out there who donāt like meā¦.. but that thought could eat you up from the inside out. That is not a pleasant feeling. Iāve attached a link to the article though so you can all feel as uncomfortable as me š³š¬š
As an aside, I must say here that I find fasting incredibly easyā¦. But when hubby is up super early and the smell of bacon wafts itās way under your bedroom doorā¦. A girl could be forgiven for falling off the fasting wagon.
Anyway, I think Iāll get up now and change the bedā¦. Put my time to better use. Be nice to have clean bed tonight.
I just went back to the top of the blog to add a title and call it āearly morning feelsā ā¦ā¦ā¦ then realised I canāt do that!!!!!! ššš
Oh haha a dog barked⦠they can smell the bacon tooā¦. Right, Iām up!!!
The days seems so long when you get up that early.
It was The little gift shopās 4th birthday today. I was the first ever customer when Gayle opened. I took a video when I walked into the shop. It looks soooo different today! Sheās done so well and Iām so proud of her. She just goes after what she wants and does it. A great role model.
I had my Valentineā Day sweatshirt on with a heart patterned scarfā¦. Iām not taking it off as I may never wear it again. It was only Ā£5.99 and is not the best shape or quality.
So yeah, itās 2.15pm and Iām in comfies on the couch between Freya and Bhruic. Iāve finished my 13 day stint of work and have 1.5 days off work. Iām not doing anything for the rest of the day.
3am again. Wide awake. I tried to back to sleep and reckon I was completely successfulā¦. About 10 minutes before the arm went offā¦. š¤¦š»āāļøš
I got up for the Farm at 5am and felt so groggy and lethargic. Craig got the dogs up before I leftā¦.. look how tired they all look!!
Please donāt goā¦. Just throw the ball š¾
Nope Iām gunna get itā¦.
Bhruic looking super sleepyā¦.
Just stop pointing the camera at me says Freya! She looks soooo pād off š
Oh ok you can throw it nowā¦.
The workout was brilliant though, and it was lovely to see a couple of the girls I havenāt seen for ages. I am soooo sore now and can hardly walk!!
I came home at 7.30am and blitzed the housework. I was on a roll and knew, as soon as I sat down, that would be meā¦. So I kept on going.
Had to spend 20 minutes unblocking the hooverā¦. Realised that all I was doing was pushing dog hair around the house and it must be blocked. I had to take it apart! Then had to go back over everything once I unblocked itā¦.. š it feels great to have taken the worst off. Thereās still loads that needs doing.
I got a message from a Gayle to say she was all ready for me at The little gift shop, with decaf coffee and oat milk!!! So nice of her.
I took sandwiches, for us both, for lunch and we had some lovely cakeā¦. Forgot to take pics dammit⦠it was a Crunchie chocolate square. It was delish.
So Valentineās Day is in full swing ā¦. No men in to buy cards today but hopefully some tomorrow. We need to get more male customers! We donāt bite!
This is the shop windowā¦. With very bad reflection.
Gayle is going to run a competition to win this amazing gift. My photos donāt do it justice!
Hereās a selection of cards and new Bomb Cosmetics. The shop smells lovely again today.
It was really good to be back and catch up on all the news and see all the new jewellery and smellies.
There was a big village funeral, today, for the lovely lady who died recently. I knew I wouldnāt be able to make it but it was lovely to see her daughter when I came home from work and give her a hug. She said her mum would have been pleased with how today went. Iām glad she had a lovely send off. ā„ļø
Iām not gonna lie⦠I am shattered now. Iām needing some time off after 12 days straight working and Iām really looking forward to a rest. Bearing in mindā¦.. I crave alone time and silence and I have talked for 12 days. š ironically talking is probably what I do bestā¦. And I secretly love it but it will be nice to retreat into myself for a day and a half before it all starts again on Monday.
Chinese ordered as I canāt possibly cook (ok do I ever? It was my turn tonight and I just canātā¦.) candles lit⦠just need to change into my comfies and Iām done for the day!
Awake at 5am. I felt a bit antsy. Tense. Like Iād been grinding my teeth overnight.
I tried to get back to sleep but couldnāt. I played heavy rain sounds, then crashing waves followed by a meditation. All 3 were lovely and calmed my racing thoughts but I didnāt have time to fall back to sleep.
I was really jittery all morning. As if Iād had some caffeine. (I hadnāt, for once!)
I felt really anxious, breathless, trying to do everything all at once. Iām still bad for this when Iām busy. I like to be in control and I hate when I canāt be.
So I tidied up the office. Tried to put as much of the Caravan Show stuff back into its original place. I threw some junk out, I cleared my feet and felt a bit better.
There were things I had to do today, that Iāve neglected since the Show. I couldnāt do it all and had to accept that it was ok.
Ellison brought her lovely homemade lentil and bacon soup in for lunch again today. I cannot tell you how good it is!!
We had lots of customers in today too. The show has generated a great amount of enquiries.
When I left at 4pm, it was the end of my 11th day in a row at Tartan Campers. You know how I love a wee statā¦.
Day 1038 of the blog,
1498 days with alcohol,
544 days without anti-depressants (this is the one that I actually cannot believe!!)
And first time ever working 11 days in a row!! Course I still have The little gift shop over the next two days!!
Iām struggling to walk properly after the Farm yesterday. First big workout in weeks taking its toll.
I went straight to Silverburn Shopping Centre and stretched my aching legs out as I walked to meet Lea in Starbucks.
Starbucks is our thing. Our go-to. We used to go there once a week years ago, before I even met Craig. When Starbucks was a big thing⦠now they are everywhere.
And yes I ordered decaf! An oat milk caramelised macadamia latte DECAF!!! We must have told the girl about 5 times. Lea will sleep tonight on her caffeine⦠Iām impressed!
We havenāt caught up for ages so it was great to get a chat. Also lovely that we just pick up where we left off. We swapped Christmas presents and mine was in a Tartan bag!!
I got lovely perfume!
There was a Love Hearts arch and folk kept stopping for photos so we took a couple!
I love that Lea still had all the bags in this one!!! We couldnāt get a decent selfie with the arch in it at the same time!
I was back home about quarter to 8 and all of a sudden itās half past already! It will be time for bed soon. Farm again in the morning. Which will be interesting if I stiffen up even more overnight⦠š
Itās all about mindset. I got my gym bag ready last night, alarm set. Bed at 10 after 4 episodes of Happy Valley. Thatās us finished the first season already!
I slept like a log and woke about 2 minutes before the 5am alarm. I felt rested. Fitbit says otherwise and says I was awake a lot⦠nope it felt like a great sleep to me.
I got out of bed no problem at all. I was ready.
It was great to be back. It was a quiet class but it was a good ease back in. I still worked hard.
Itās psychological but I know I feel worse when Iām not exercising. I have felt way better today. Way more switched on.
It was early sunrise when I left and I got some photos in the darkā¦. They look a lot lighter than it actually was.
Snowdrops woo hoo!!! And loads of them!
Love me a snowdrop!
So on to work and had a great day. Instead of fighting the work that needs doing, I feel there was some acceptance today.
I just got on with it. I didnāt try to stall it. I didnāt try to find loads of other, more important things to do.
There is one thing Iāve learned today thoughā¦. Iāve identified a personality type that I do not respond well too. When people have a high level of expectation and demand that they get the thing that they want, when they want it. I think Iāve talked about this beforeā¦.
Iāve always been a people pleaser so would never dream of laying down how it should be to suit myself. I find it very hard to react to this kind of personality. It feels entitled to me and I donāt respond well to it. So Iāve a bit of thinking to do on that.
My internal reactions are not pleasant. I feel an actual pain in my chest, I feel anger and clench my teeth. I have a very descriptive face and am sure there must be something that shows thereā¦. Sneer maybe?!?!
I need to learn that this behaviour is not a slight on me. Itās not a dig at me. I think it has been in my past and thatās where the trigger is. Mrs overreaction!
Anyway, life is a big giant learning curve, isnāt it.
Iāve also seen thisā¦ā¦ and this is the reason I donāt drink any more. I could have written it myself. Word for word.
Iām in with my Crochet Hookers. I was late but turns out we all were š so I must dash and stop being rude.
5am this morning. Wide awake. Ended up in the office for 7.15am as I may as well work at my desk than work lying in bed.
I have so much to do that I feel so disorganised. I really struggle being out of control.
Works well under pressureā¦. NOT!
I get in a flap and canāt think what to do first. Then I end up in the middle of 4 jobs at onceā¦.. I do know how to get out of that. I just canāt necessarily do it at the time when Iām it. Itās like I wallow in the flap and it allows me to justify how useless I am. Even as I write that I realise how ridiculous it is.
All in one big waffling paragraph. š
Iām so worried I forget something thatās important. Let someone down by not contacting them at the right time. Lose business because I donāt get to them fast enough. Or make a mistake. Forget to order something. Run out of parts for the buildā¦.. my list of worries is endless š
And this is why I write the blogā¦..
Itās natural that Iām tired after the weekend but I struggle with the not sleeping. (As I write this, I know so many people who sleep WAY less than meā¦. My heart goes out to them). I feel antsy and irritated but also really sluggish and lethargic. If Iām honest, I really think Iām missing the Fit Body Farm.
The thought of getting up at 5am does not fill me with ANY joyā¦. Yet Iāve a feeling that I will feel much better for it. I just have book itā¦. And get out of bed. š¤¦š»āāļøš itās a vicious circle, youāre tired so you need sleep but when you donāt go you you feel worse for it.
I really got loads done today and am upsetting no-one. Thatās the best of it! š
I was so grateful to see actual sunshine when I left work tonight. It was about 4.30pm when I left and the sun was low but it was shining. It was bright and it felt lovely to see it at that time of day. I had a lovely drive home.
I went out into the garden and kicked a ball around with the dogs. It was only about ten minutes but it felt great to be out in the fresh air for the first time in ages.
There was a lovely sunset.
Everything has just been a bit overwhelming really. Thatās all.
Weāre now watching Happy Valley, we seem to be behind everyone else in the UK who just saw the last episode. Itās quite addictive⦠and Iām not sure itās been that happy at all through the first few episodes. ššš Highly recommend it if you havenāt watched it!
My head was singing songs, chattering away, making no sense. I wasnāt awake enough to get up, Iām exhaustedā¦. But still no sleep.
I didnāt got to the Farm this morning and I felt really bad about that. It ruminated round in my head but I needed the rest. Iām not sure I got it so I set off to work early.
So as suspected, today was a little of the ordinary, mundane and routineā¦. And yet it wasnāt at all.
We are very lucky to have lots of work to do after the show but Iām a bit tired and jaded. š
An 8 hour nap today would have been amazing!!!
So I sat at my desk and sorted all our enquiries into date order and started working my way through them. There are still SO many to be done!!
So back on that tomorrow and hope that I can turn some of them into new business.
Today is 6th February, 2023 and our big girl Calaidh is 8 today!
With Calaidh itās ALL about the tennis ball š¾
Sheās never happier than when sheās got her eye on a tennis ball.
Sheās her daddyās girl!
Hereās our little puppy when we took her to the vet at 12 weeks.
She had a unique personality. She doesnāt care for other dogs but just wants lots of affection from people. Sheās scared of other dogs coughing and sneezing, she runs a mile. š
Sheās always hiding from something š
Awww sheās the best. We donāt get the dogs anything for birthdays but we have been telling her itās her birthday all day. ššš
In other news I got a Sizzle Streak badge today š¬ from Zero⦠the fasting app!
50 consecutive fasts!
Ok so Iām still not a size 12 but I feel so much better for it and I find it super easy to do. I feel much better without pigging out every single night. Iāve taken control of my diet and Iām managing it.
So thatās all from me now. A bit of a come down from the last few days but thatās ok. You canāt live life at that pace every day!!
Wowā¦.. I have to say Iām nowhere near as effervescent tonight as I was last night. I am shattered!!!
I think I hit a wall about 13.10 today where I got sick of the sound of my own voice š Iāve been doing great on the fasting while Iām on the stand as thereās no time to eat anythingā¦. I think I needed food by the back of 1 today so I got a filled roll and crisps and a coffeeā¦. Ā£7.50!!
The show has been amazing and itās shown me a side of myself thatās Iāve not seen for a very long time.
I love being on the stand. Iām so proud of who we are and what we do and telling people all about it.
Everyone has been so lovely. What are the chances?!? Iāve had so much banter with so many people, I just love that part of my job.
It seemed to be a lovely day today. Not that Iāve seen any of the weather for the last 4 days! Sunny on the way in.
Heading into the SEC.
A whole lot of work and chat later and the stand almost all packed away by 6pm tonight.
Tartan VAM (named after its registration!) sitting under the lights of the Glasgow Hydro.
With the Armadillo behind it.
VAM and Merida parked up for the night, awaiting collection tomorrow. Look at that sky!
Looking over to the Glasgow Tower.
VAM in the sunset.
And finally Ailsaās rear end!
The sky was so beautiful. I wish Iād been out a bit earlier to see more of it.
Itās dark by the time Stuart drops me off. The lifts have been amazing, saved me having to drive the last few days and company on the way in and out.
The full moon is so bright!
I think itās gonna be a cold one overnight but I cannot bring myself to put the screen protector on the van⦠Iāll deal with it in the morning.
So back to auld claes and porridge tomorrow. I have SO much work to do as a result of the show, not complaining at all but itās certainly not going to be a restful week.
Iām not gonna make the farm again tomorrow. In 3 weeks Iāve only been once, thatās my worst record ever. But⦠I canāt do it all. Iāll get back in on Wednesday.
Canāt believe itās almost Monday already. Itās 7.30pm and im just about to get my dinner. Chips from the pub which Holly so kindly gave Craig earlier. Just waiting on them to heat up!
It was heaving! Apparently people were queuing for up to an hour to get into the car parks. There were swarms of people everywhere!
I got a 20 minute break at 13.50 when I got some soup and a cheese and ham toastie , in the SEC staff canteen. Only cost £2.67 and it was lovely! Lunch on Monday cost me £7.50 and this was much better!!
It was like a calm haven when I walked through the door and it shut behind me. The girl told me that only 13 of the SEC staff had made it through for lunch so far so she knew that meant they were very busy.
Stuart described today like being in a tumble drier and that absolutely sums it up. We have literally talked to people all day! Weāve had people queuing up to speak to us. It was honestly amazing. I am bursting with pride at being a part of it.
I love every minute of it. I am honestly in my element. I just love it so much. Canāt get enough of it. Can you tell?!?! š
Hereās the end of day team photo!
I asked a guy to take our photo and he was obviously in a rushā¦. The one he took, none of us were looking at the cameraā¦. He did take this one of me though⦠magic eh?!
Check the sunset on Ailsa the Tartan Camper, when we left the SEC. (It appears this actually stands for the Scottish Events Campus nowā¦. Who knew?!?)
The sky was really stunning.
Stuart gave me a lift in and dropped me backā¦. I went on about the sunset all the way home. š
He thinks Iām crazy.
I told him heās learning from me ššš
And the Tartan Camper drives off into the sunset!
Itās soooooo peaceful at home. Craig has the fire on and the candles lit and made me a lovely Chinese meal and I scoffed the lot!
Tomorrow is the last day of the show⦠I am pre-sad!
I have SO much work to do when I get back to Tartan HQ. Itās not like I get an easy time of it next week.
I canāt believe itās Saturday night already. š
Another very busy day at the Show today! Itās such a buzz, it literally barely stops and we are giving so many people information about our business. I feel very proud when I talk about what we do.
I have loads of photos today. Craig ran me in and the traffic was so much lighterā¦. I believe there might have been a teacherās strike today? We got there at 9am and went for a walk down on the River Clyde.
The Paddle Steamer Waverley is moored at the Glasgow Science Centre over the winter, just next to the Glasgow Tower. I had the best day out on her in mid October. š¢
The Clyde is so still just not quite a perfect reflection.
We walked down the Clyde and past the BBC Scotland building.
Then round the side of the Armadillo which is a fascinating building, to see the Tartan Campers outside the SEC.
And yes⦠obligatory photo!
Mum and Dad came all the way over from Edinburgh today. So good to see them and they actually spent a long time at the show.
Tried to get a pic of us all before they leftā¦. This was the best!
We managed to get a half hour lunch which was lovely and a couple of chats as they passed our stand.
These Pikachus were on the rounds this morning š
Finally got a pic on the stand before the madness started this morning. this is my āhurry up and take the photo Craig, Iām embarrassedā face š.
So yeah itās been another lovely day. Itās so important to be about to get the word out there and become recognised in the industryā¦. Doing what I do best, talking and smiling at people all day. š I donāt feel like I need to sit in a dark room yet⦠I might need to by Sunday night!!!
Finally end of show team selfie with Stuart and Gavā¦. How funny that they kept shutting their eyes in every picture but finally got oneā¦. šš¬
Happy Friday night to you all. Just about to get dinner and chill.
Well that was an interesting evening yesterdayā¦..
The cramp just kept getting worse. Painkillers didnāt ease it off and neither did my hot water bottle. Usually the heat is an instant relief.
I literally had to move about on the couch every 5-10 minutes or so. Once I got comfy, it relaxed a bit until the next wave hit. Not gonna lie, there were silent tears most of the evening as I genuinely felt awfy sorry for myself.
It wasnāt the kind of depression tears though, just a feeling sad for the current situation. Also not a woe is meā¦. I know that this will pass. And it hasā¦.
Iāve been much better today. I actually slept most of the night, which was great but I didnāt go to the Farm this morning as still felt rotten, I looked all peely wally and my eyes were puffy from the tears.
Bit pathetic eh but it was really sore.
Iāve had twinges today but nothing like yesterday.
So itās been an exciting, busy, yet very quiet day at Tartan HQ. The boys were at the SEC in Glasgow, setting up our stand at the show. It turned out theyād given us the wrong stand so we had to move everything around. A daft mistake by someone on Monday.
We are so very lucky to have two vans right outside the SEC which is a great advertisement. (these are not my pics as I wasnāt there today!)
Thereās the same Finnieston Crane that I took a photo of last week when I was at the Scottish Trade Fair with the little gift shop. This is the year of the trade show! š
Hereās our stand!
And here are 3 of my smart looking Directorsā¦. A girl can never have too many Directors š
This lovely van is up for sale at the show⦠I love it!
So yeah, thatās me for the next 4 days! If you happen to be at a loose end and nearby then pop along and say hello. We have smart new gear to wear so there will be plenty of photos.