It’s been so lovely today now that Storm Barra has passed over. No wind, a little rain and I actually think I saw a bit of blue sky at one point!

The house looked very festive in the rain at 5.30am!

There was a tree down at the Fit Body Farm this morning.

It didn’t get in the way of any crazy exercise though! We were inside for everything apart from the warm up run. We managed to do that in the rain and skipping over bits of tree.

So honestly there’s not much to say about about today. It was fine. No drama from me for a change. To be fair I did have my “I’m having a meltdown” Christmas jumper on so maybe everyone stayed out the way! 🤣🤣

There was a buzz about the workshop. We’re on the countdown to Christmas and there’s loads still be be done but it’s all happening!

I’ve had great chats on the phone since I left work… and all of a sudden it’s 6.15pm!

I’m off out to meet the Hookers tonight, maybe get some work done on my blanket or maybe just sit and chatting for the night!

Always feel like I rush a Wednesday blog! But needs must!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Wow what a day! The weather’s been atrocious. This was the forecast.

It never snowed though but the gusts of wind were crazy!

The forecast only got worse.

The wind seemed consistently bad all day… the wee portacabin took some battering! Everyone came in making that noise that you make when the weathers bad. A kind of “wooooooof” and relaxed into the warmth.

I had another new Christmas jumper on today so was super toasty….

Until I had to go to the loo…… it was baltic heading out into that to get into the workshop!

So we survived and weren’t blown away. Think so many other parts of the country have had Storm Barra a lot worse than we have. the A9 north was closed due to heavy snow!

I stopped at my friend Evelyn’s on the way home as she’s got a new puppy!

This is lovely wee Elsie!

Of all the photos I took this is the only one she didn’t move in. She is absolutely gorgeous. She’s only 8 weeks old and was one of a litter of 17 Gordon Setters…… SEVENTEEN!! I never knew that was even possible.

That was the second best photo I reckon. She was having a ball bounding about the living room!…. So much puppy love!

So in other news the voting has been released for the Fit Body Farm transformation of the year award…. Which basically means there are photos of me in my underwear being shared all over FB.

I honestly never realised that would happen. I thought it was just an FBF thing and I could cope with them seeing the photos. Now I really have nothing to hide. 😱😱My wobbly bits are right out there.

I’ve had some lovely messages of support.

A lot of people called me brave. Guess they think I meant to share those photos….. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😱

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Wow… busy day. It’s flown past! It’s been wet and windy all day too. Think this is the start of Storm Barra headed our way!

These are wheelbarrows… affectionately known as barras in some parts of Scotland. 🤣🤣

The people of the island of Barra are pretty chuffed at having a storm named after them… on one FB page someone said Storm Barra is ok as long as Joe Biden doesn’t say it… 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

So FBF was very hard work this morning…. It was a killer of a workout and I feel like I spent the whole workout getting up and going back down to ground. It was exhausting! It was pouring when I came out.

And PITCH BLACK… sooooo dark! The photo lightened it all up. Had the head torch to get back to the car!

Work was super busy but a good day. Check the Christmas tree the boss made for everyone! So cool!

I met some lovely customers who knew lots of people I used to work with so it was a wee trip down memory lane.

We they came back to get their van they brought me a 1.5l bottle of Prosecco and a HUGE tub of Quality Street!

This photo doesn’t do them justice, they are both massive. How lovely of them. They said we’d done a great job. It’s so nice to hear that!

I walked out to portacabin at one point and the sky was almost a mustard yellow.

After work today I went to a few shops to get some things for Christmas…. Things that I didn’t get this weekend and I enjoyed having a wee mooch about. Wait till you see the Christmas jumper I picked up…. It’s perfect!!

I mean….. was that not made for me!?!

So that’s all from today. No tears and no major meltdown other than the jumper. 🤣🤣

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

What a beautiful day. There’s not been a cloud in the sky all day.

I’ve had a good day because I chose to do what I wanted to do rather what I should do. I’m not feeling great but I’m not going to give it any power. There’s no reason to feel rotten just now. The sun shone, it’s nearly Christmas and Craig chose my least favourite tasks off the list!!

He did the food shopping while I walked the dogs this morning. I thought the fresh air would be good.

The dogs were great today. I was ready for ambush around every corner, every branch, every twig but thankfully we didn’t need it overthinking brain.

The colours were amazing today 💙 💚

Goat Fell looks spectacular covered in snow in the distance!

Heading back into the village.

What’s this Bhru says?!?

I love this wee cottage in the sun.

The sun at the bottom of the garden.

So I’ve done washing and hung it to dry and moved the sun room around so that I can crochet without the icy blast at the door in Gran’s chair. Such a random thing to do but it made a big difference! I know I could just shut the door but the dogs were running in and out.

I crocheted and listened to music. Added a whole new row onto the blanket. This one jumped up and wouldn’t let me get on with it!! I am under here.

And….. then I went to bed. Electric blanket on and slept for an hour and a half.

The list will have to wait. Once I allowed myself to realise that it was ok.

We watched the Holiday last night which is a lovely Christmas feel good movie and tonight we’re on Love the Coopers. I’m drinking Ikea’s alcohol free mulled wine. Claire got me a bottle the other week. Smells so good.

Cheers to a good week ahead!

Stay safe everyone ☀️❄️☀️

Wow… I had a rough morning fighting with my head. There were tears before 7am and tears again before 11am but I’ve done my best to work at it this morning and I think I’ve calmed my overthinking.

I’ve brought Abbie the campervan down to work as there’s a auto electrician in that can fix issues I have with the stereo and reverse camera. I feel like I have “worked” in my head all weekend as a result. This was my choice but I’ve spent the whole weekend thinking about things that need done at work blah blah blah…. and things I could have done differently or better.. beating myself up.

I’m worried about Christmas , I feel I “should” be enjoying the run up to Christmas more, soaking up the atmosphere, I’m worrying about what to get everyone but not enough to actually do anything about it. It’s just hanging over me. Christmas is a difficult time for so many people. People put so much expectation on the right gifts, the right meal, having a good time and how many of just don’t click with all that expectation?

So back to the morning, we got up and had coffee after I bent poor Craig’s ear when he say “talk to me about it”…. He should never have asked….. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

He went off to work and I took the dogs out to “get that over with”…. I actually had a really lovely walk and managed all 3 at once easily.

So I did a poo pick in the garden which is always lovely…… but it’s done and looks so much better. Non dog folks wince at this point!

I got the dogs settled and went through to the bedroom and did a 20 minute Mindfulness Meditation 🧘🏻‍♀️

Honestly when it started my head was absolutely jumping. If you can imagine a comic with a fight scene….

Not kidding that’s exactly what my head felt like. I could almost feel the punches and kicks being thrown. I reckon after the first 5 minutes of the meditation it finally subsided. Maybe I’ve just got very descriptive in my blog writing days… 🤣 but it really did feel like that.

I then did a Body Shop Vitamin C face mask and sat listening to music. Not just any music but music I used to sing when I was in the church choir as a kid. Faurés Requiem and Christmas carols with descants. I know… ok.. if anyone had seen me I was even more crazy than normal with a white sheet mask over my face and big headphones on “gie’in it laldy” as they say in Scotland.

The singing (with great gusto) caused more tears… stirring up memories of years long gone. Jeez would you listen to me. I sound like old mother time eh?!?

Anyway…. I am finally calm. I’m exhausted but calm.

And now Abbie has her stereo hanging out!!

So it turns out the stereo didn’t have an earth to the handbrake 😳 so I never got full functionality of it as it thought I was always driving… or something like that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

So all fixed and back up the road by 1.55pm just in time for Christmas lunch at the Gateside Inn… next door.

What an amazing meal. Craig’s had goats cheese tart to start and I had chicken liver pâté. Forgot to take photos…. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Main courses were Steak Pie with all the trimmings and Roast Gammon.

The sky was amazing again when we left. I spent about 15 minutes in the back garden taking photos.

So it’s 4.30pm and I’m in bed with the electric blanket on while Craig watches the football. Bliss.

I’m like a different person from this morning and the relief is immense. I plan to have a very lazy evening in front of the tree and the fire…. As soon as that football noise stops 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😳🤣

Stay safe everyone 🔥🔥🔥

Have to start with last nights trip to the theatre darlings…. 🎭 wow…. Les Misérables in Glasgow’s Theatre Royal was phenomenal. The music is still ringing in my ears.

What a stunning venue to start off with. Don’t think I’ve been there before… I would like to say that this is my photo but I didn’t make it on stage last night!

I did get this…

Thats the most people I’ve seen all in one place for a very long time.

There was a huge queue when we arrived but it actually went down pretty quickly. The first check was the COVID passport to prove we were double vaccinated. The second check was for booze in your bag… and then finally the tickets check.

We got seated with about two minutes to spare.

The show was honestly out of this world. It was exceptional. It’s 4.20pm and I can still hear it all swirling round in my head. I managed to hold it together until almost the last act… 😭

One thing that struck me was I haven’t clapped like that in a very long time either. They got a standing ovation.

The theatre emptied pretty quickly and we got back to the car. It took us an extra half hour to get home as all the slip roads onto the M8 were closed! We were stuck in a queue of folk following each other, hoping that the next slip might be open!!

11.56pm I got into my bed.

4.45am and it was time to wake up for the Fit Body Farm………. Less than 5 hours sleep! I am shattered today. Just about to go for a nap as I can hardly keep my eyes open. We did run loads at the farm too which is always extra knackering!

Craig’s been off today too so we’ve done loads of housework and went to the Gateside Plant Centre to pick our Christmas tree. 🎄

Now I should say that we can see the Plant Centre from our living room window and one year we did actually carry our tree home. We regretted it!! This time we took the car with the roof rack!

Ta dah…… 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

The poor pups have to pose in front of it every year…. 🤣

I noticed the sky outside as we were putting some lights out. It was so red!

And these are our outdoor lights.

I’ve got the electric blanket on now and I’m gonna to get some sleep. It’s a bit late but hey…. Thought I’d show you the headboard as I just wrapped lights around that too!!

So in other news it’s been a costly day for us. Abbie the camper van was in the garage again but that was only £50 to fill some leaks on the exhaust.

We had a toilet engineer… not a plumber… out this morning to fix our Saniflow bathroom which was backing up and water wasn’t flowing away. We have a second bathroom right beside the main bathroom. So random. The folks before us put it in so their old dad could have a shower without climbing into the bath.

We been having waterworks issues for a long time in that bathroom. We turned a blind eye until I realised the shower cubicle had an inch of water in the bottom of it, one day last week. Finally it’s all fixed and we are £194.19 lighter….

Happy weekend!

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎄🎄

For the first time in how many years?!?! I have lost count. I’m off to the theatre tonight to see Les Miserables.

I went into work for 7 so I could leave at 3pm and I’m still rushing. Even leaving early I felt like I was rushing and I’ve not thrown the feeling yet.

Maybe that’s because I preempted that I would have no clue how to get ready or what to wear!!! I’ve had about 4 outfits on and have settled for the best of a causal bunch and I have 15 minutes until we leave!

So I am ready to go and really looking forward to seeing the show. I’ve seen it before but I can’t wait to see it again. I’ve honestly not been out out in years!

I have my covid passport ready to prove that I’m double jabbed before we get in.

Have a great evening everyone and pics tomorrow!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Awwww what a lovely day today. She who chattered in my head all day yesterday was silent ALL day today. Not a peep! Isn’t it amazing how it can be so different one day to the next.

If I’m honest I’ve felt shattered since last night. I slept really well but felt groggy when I woke up. I have that lovely silence after the frenetic ramblings of yesterday. It’s no wonder I’m exhausted. I did all Decembers thinking in one day 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

The Fit Body Farm was great again this morning. I did up my weights on the last exercise and I feels really good when I’m able to do that.

It was super dark when I came out and yet the photo I took looks way lighter.

I’ve been focussed at work and got loads done again but this time without the incessant chatter and put-me-downs. I really am my own worst enemy!!

I’m off to meet the hookers tonight at 7pm. I really need to get the finger out and try and finish my blanket.

So I thought I’d look for some more photos tonight as I’m enjoying that and remember just how many places I’ve been and seen. what to pick tonight?!

Ahhh loved a wee trip down memory lane.

Off to meet the hookers!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s 6.17am and I’ve been wide awake since 5am…. Thought I’d put this dead time to good use.

This waking up early malarkey bugs me. I have two mornings a week I get to sleep until 6.30am….. and I’ve not managed it for weeks.

Do you ever hear the voice inside your head that chatters away when you most want to rest. Mine never shuts up in the morning. Since 5am she’s told me that I can’t control my dogs out on a dog walk, my dogs don’t respect me, I must be running out of money about now, scared to check the bank account, how will I afford Christmas, well I can’t to the village Christmas Eve dog walk as I can’t control my dogs in a big group, who would I take, who would I leave behind, then I’ll have to walk the others, how will they be on Christmas Day at our folks house, I’ve no Christmas presents for anyone yet, why have I left it so late, what am I going to get, when am I going to buy them, how will I afford them, I should really check the bank to put my mind at ease but that might worry me more. (I’ve read that back and I cringe…. None of those things are an issue 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣but I want to sun up how crazy the thoughts can be at times).

All through that I’ve been trying to breathe deeply, shut down the inner voice and just be in the moment.

We are by far our own worst enemies!! You would never talk to anyone else like that. Ever.

It feels like a pain in my lower stomach, a bubbling of anxiety.

I’ve checked my positive feed on FB. That helps.

Now that I’m up and moving I can shut her up a bit. Jeez…..

The forecast is pretty dreich for today.

I step into the shower…. There’s a tennis ball.

Took me all my time to get a photo without the reflection in the shower box 😆 and in my house we also have this to deal with….

It was a very dark drive to work! I know that sounds ridiculous, but a real misty and murky dark.

In work I’m flitting backwards and forwards between jobs like a budgie. A wave of anxiety washing over me when I think of something while I’m doing something else. Drop the first thing, pick up the new thing, half do it then back to the first thing.

I have a list…. I keep jumping about the list, adding things, never removing. Constantly adding as my brain fires off things that need doing.

We have customers come and go and I add to the list. I’m still chirping away inside my head and it’s 2pm before I get a minute to stop for lunch.

And relax… and write this. It helps. I feel a bit calmer already. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ok today and getting things done just self criticising my every move and every decision. I’m not about to burst into tears!

And more importantly, I achieved a lot today, despite all of that. Go figure eh but no wonder I get tired!

I have literally just had a conversation with someone who said the tone of my blog is so different now than from a few months back….. 😬😬😬grins as written this already and not deleting now…. 😬😬😬

So I thought a nice way to finish today would be some of my favourite photos of Scotland seeing as it’s St Andrew’s Day.

I really enjoyed looking through all my photos and there’s another 47,000 or so to go so we’ll never run out… 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I was in bed from 8.30pm last night and out for the count. Slept like a log. Finally!

Up at at ‘em at 5am ready for Fit Body Farm action. Today was the 2021 Workout of the Year where they are tying to encourage as many members as possible, past and present, to attend this workout number 1 of the week, over today and tomorrow.

I am the vision in yellow 💛 at the back.

Craig and I are members to Team Courage 💛💛

I was buzzing during the workout. I loved it! Short, sharp bursts of effort being cheered on by your team members. I had two lovely compliments about how fast I was on the ski-erg and how much weight I’d lost. So lovely of people to take the time to say that. I still haven’t lost much weight but I’ve lost 52cms so far which is great and I’m really feeling it.

My team won the final challenge. She who is not competitive at all…. Showed a teensy weensy wee shred of competitiveness today!

So a great start to the day!

It’s been a rotten day weatherise. We had to watch out for ice at the farm but it’s got milder and it’s now really smirry rain. that rain that soaks you!!

A busy day at Tartan HQ and finally got a Tartan hoody! Sure the pics are disappointing as it seems a few folk think my tartan T-shirt’s and hoodies are tartan…. Eh no, sorry!

So another good day AND Craig made the tastiest dinner which always helps.

Sitting in front of the fire and not moving forward the rest of the night!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Wow well that was some night. I don’t remember a storm that bad, certainly not since we’ve lived here. It was wild!

I think we were luckier than the east coast of Scotland. I have seen friends and family that have lost sheds, greenhouses, fences and poor mum and dad had some mega force of wind take down not only their fence but push over their heavy double wooden seat!

Our house was cold last night. The force of the wind blowing on the windows and doors was crazy. I had to wrap a scarf and a hoody round the door handle to try and cover the lock to stop the wind from howling through it! We do have a very old house so it’s not the most weather secure.

The wind howled all night. I didn’t sleep great as I was either listening to it or being woken up by it. We hear very little from our bedroom normally as the walls are about a foot thick. This was walloping into the weindow panes and finding every angle necessary to get through!

We woke to Calaidh having a 6.15am bark at the wind…. the joys eh?!

However it was a beautiful morning and I’ve got loads done. I started with a dog walk with Bhruic and Freya at 8.30am.

Back home to drop them off and take Calaidh up the hill.

Back home and shower before heading straight down to my lovely friend, Gayle’s, shop for Christmas cards. She does some lovely ones from Gateside so I always like to try and get them before they sell out.

Back home and out to Abbie the campervan for a major clean out! I found a packet of scones that went off on 11the September!!!!! And the worst of it is.. they still look ok….

Spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon out there in the van pottering, with the heater on of course. Felt really good to get it back into shape.

Then it was time for lunch and a weeeeee nap!

Mum called and we had a good wee chat and it woke me up enough to get moving again, changed the bed, tidied the bedroom, put washing away. It feels good.

Just before I started to make dinner I went to let the dogs out the back and noticed the most amazing sky!

It was stunning.

So lucky to catch this as it was over in minutes. A reminder that life is short and you should look around so you don’t miss things.

I’m cooking chicken pizza for dinner tonight with olives, peppers, onion and goats cheese. We’re having that with roasted potatoes and broccoli healthy style.

It’s still freezing outside but both fires are on and it’s super cosy inside.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Up before the birds for the Fit Body Farm and did a wee jig in the street when I saw Rachel two doors down getting into the car to go to her gym… we’re a crazy lot in this village!

The farm was hard this morning. Constant activity but at 6-7/10 effort… no breaks. It’s hard to work at 6-7/10 when everyone is bombing past you on the first run and you’re trying to speak in a loud voice to remind them it’s only 6-7/10 effort…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

So probably 10 x 500m runs this morning with wall ball targets, burpee broad jumps, sled push and pull and walking lunges with 20kg rec bags in between. As usual it starts off hard but I did settle into using the run as the kind of rest before the next exercise.

It was super cold and windy this morning. The grass was SOAKING and freezing once the wind caught my wet clothes. Yup crazy 😝

So, unusual for a Friday, but I had a shower at the farm so I could head straight to meet Mum without going home first.

The sunrise was pretty spectacular again.

So it was a nice drive this morning. A huge trip down memory lane as Google maps took me past Kilmarnock and through East Kilbride , both places we used to live. Not driven those roads in years but missed all the Glasgow traffic and got to Livingston Designer Outlet for 9am.

Of course we did it again and agreed to meet for shopping on Black Friday. The car park was full almost by the time I met mum only about 10-15 minutes later and pretty quickly the shops were heaving!

Of course we went for breakfast first and I had porridge with honey and an Oat Milk Latte. We didn’t get any photos but my FB memories today from 2016!! Told you we make a habit of it!

This is me in 2016… before I went off sick and piled on the weight!

So we had a good wander round but definitely don’t have the shopping stamina we used to have. Took some photos in the Lindt shop but proud to say didn’t buy a thing. 😆

We went into Muffin Break for lunch as everywhere was queued out the door except Krispy Kreme and Muffin Break for some reason.

Claire sent me this and said drive carefully home. It was some stormy drive back though I left about 1.30pm. Two hands on the wheel all the way. Yea I know you should always have two hands on the wheel but you know what I mean. Really holding on!

Gavin the Fit Body Farm coach (and owner) has sent me a link to a motivational book called “The Thin Woman’s Brain” and I’ve been listening to it while driving since Tuesday. It’s actually really good and as he said, same applies to guys too.

It explains why we overeat and how naturally thin women have a different relationship to food than those who have generated a food addiction. So today I’ve not had access to the best choices of food but I have thought about the flavours, savoured the food in my mouth and tried not to eat anymore when I became full. It encourages you to think about the difference between actual hunger and brain hunger. Brain hunger is the reason I put on 3 stone throughout my illness. I’ve understood that my buying and devouring the whole bag of Cadbury’s Chocolate Buttons, on almost a daily basis, was my body’s way of trying to generate some dopamine. Really all it did was give it a small hit but created an addiction for more. It’s really interesting and well worth a read or listen.

So straight into bed, when I got home, with the electric blanket on! Couldn’t really sleep but had a good hour or so rest.

My FB post on View from my window is now up at 39,600 likes with over 4,700 comments!! I’ve tried to keep up with them but sure I’ll be liking comments for a good few weeks to come. It’s finally slowed today but I’ve got loads to go back to. What a wonderful page.

I think I said before that I have my FB set so that I only see positive posts now and use it as a tool to help me write the blog. It’s a great feeling to take control over what you see.

I’m in jammies ready for a cosy Friday evening in front of the fire as the wind whistles down the chimney and howls outside the windows.

Happy weekend x

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

“I wish I could be Christmas every daaaaaaaaay” 🎶🎵 was blaring out from the radio today as I walked through the workshop to the loo….. I actually did a wee dance. Me.. Mrs Bah Humbug Christmas.

It’s the 25th November and that’s the first one I’ve heard. On the same day that snow fell on the A835 in the North of Scotland. This is the road that links Inverness to Ullapool.

It’s really super cold today. It was a beautiful start to the day.

When I got to work the sky was pink again.

I feel so lucky driving to work when the weather is like this.

A busy day again today. It’s been a good week and we’ve got loads done. There were things that went wrong…. that went right as soon as they’d gone wrong and that made me smile. Things I lost that I found straight away and made me smile. I felt in control today. As I read that back I wonder how things could be lost if I found them straight away… 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤣😆 I reckon you know what I mean!

So I’m late tonight as I’ve been out at the AGM for the Memorial Hall across the road from the house. I’m Assistant or Vice Treasurer (seems to be up for debate!) so just did my first annual report… albeit about 8 months late… due to various reasons outwith our control. This years accounts are ready for audit ahead every month if needs be. Will be AGM’ing again soon for next year!

It’s 9pm already so I’m going straight to bed. Meeting mum tomorrow for a wee shopping trip so need to get my beauty sleep. 🤣🤣

Oh and I’ve just agreed to do Tough Mudder next year with Craig and Rachel two doors down and a group from the village. I am in shock that YES came out my mouth when I was asked but bring on my 50th year on this planet!! I better get training…. 😱🤣😱🤣😱🤣😱

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Well who knows why you get a good day when nothings changed since yesterday but hey, my heads screwed on the right way round today.

I wake just before the alarm at 4.45am which is a nice change from the usual 3 or 4am…. And the Fit Body Farm was good today. I felt wide awake and really up for it. There were at least 25 folk there today, the busiest class I’ve ever seen. All of those people exercising at 6am. Crazy eh?! But very dedicated.

It was pouring by the time I came out from my shower. We were so lucky to work out in the dry. It was so misty and murky when I left.

Work was good. Super busy and I didn’t do half of what I needed to do but today my head says that’s ok. It is what it is, I did my best.

Radley the work dog was super cute today looking for tummy rubs!

Honestly check me… I amaze myself. I can be in bits one day and totally in control the next. I have to say I love the days where I am.

The sky was pink when I left work tonight.

These colours remind me of my bedroom walls when I was a kid! I had pink, silver and grey wallpaper…. Random huh?!

Lots of poetic license here as the industrial estate is not attractive so I had to cut the bottom out of them all 🤣

I’ve got my Crochet Hookers group at 7pm. I’ve not crocheted for ages, I really need to get the hook out! I’ve got a blanket to finish.

So I enjoyed sharing photos last night and started thinking that I could write some blogs about some things from the past too.

So tonight… I’m thinking some past crochet for a start.

I have never been creative. My lovely Gran was and this is the reason I took up crochet.

Gran made me these when I was a wee girl. I grew up with these blankets and have had them in every bedroom I’ve ever had. I’ve marvelled over the colours she picked. I have favourite squares…. 💜

When Gran was in her care home towards the end she tried to teach me to crochet and I was really bad at it. She got a wee bit frustrated with me!

This is me with Gran when she was telling me my hair was too long and getting in her face. She always thought I should have it cut short.

I’ve always wanted to be able to do it and one of my lovely neighbours, Anne, said she was going to a class a few years back and I said I’d love to go with her!

The very first square I ever tried.

We were in fits of giggles that night as we couldn’t crochet in a straight line… I reckoned it looked like an eye patch!

One day it just clicked and I have been “granny squaring” ever since. I think it’s lovely that it’s called a granny square and maybe that’s why it’s the only thing I ever do!!

There are loads more unfinished projects upstairs. Crochet got me through the hard days . It gave my mind something to focus on while I was off sick. I met the loveliest ladies in our crochet class who have become very good and supportive friends.

I can highly recommend it. 💜

Stay safe everyone 🧶🧶🧶

Wow I’ve been a right moan today. I woke at 4am. I tried to fall back asleep, tried not to make it a big thing. I maybe dozed for a few minutes but didn’t get back to sleep.

I knew my anxiety was quite high this morning. There’s no reason for it at the moment, at least I can’t put my finger on it. I felt antsy, nervous.

I felt ok by late morning but had a few wobbles. I couldn’t think straight and had to write a lot of lists.

On a positive note I have 35.1K likes on my photo on View from my window FB page. 244 people have shared my post. How crazy is that? How lovely is that actually. The comments I have on it are so heart warming.

So instead of writing a whinging blog I’m going to share some of my favourite photos.

So I think that’s enough for tonight but I’ve been enjoying picking out some photos. Tomorrow will be a better day and this was better than me overanalysing what was just an off day I reckon.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Back to the Fit Body Farm this morning… seems too soon… but it went well… lots of kettlebell work this morning.

I go for a shower at the farm before I head to work. I just switched the shower off when I heard a door slam…. Yup… they forgot about me this morning…. Now it’s nowhere near as dramatic as it sounds….. the lights were all off but I found a way out! It was actually quite funny.

I walked out the door to this…..

It took my breath away. So I took so many photos I was almost late for work!

I drove to work in a daze checking out the view everywhere and when I got to work the moon was high and bright. These photos are nowhere near as pretty.

The colours are amazing….. Shame it’s over an industrial estate but hey this is reality.

It was a good day at Tartan HQ today. I found another mistake I’d made this morning and it wasn’t the end of the world. It was it something that just needed fixed and I didn’t fall apart.

It was very cold this morning….. I actually resorted to foot warmers this morning. Now I have to say, they didn’t work immediately… but they did take the edge off. (49 going on 89 eh?!?) 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣🤣

By midday I was roasting… 🤣

I had feta salad for lunch… I’m back on track today and it feels good. I’ve not lost as much this week but that’s only to be expected with birthday doughnuts and cake 🎂 🤣

This is the garden now… it’s so pretty with lights on.

So that leads me to this FB post… there’s a page called View from my window. It’s lovely. People post so many stunning views from their houses… from all over the world. Most of them post a wee story about how long they lived there, why they live there or what living there has been like for them.

So I thought I’d post a pic from Gran’s chair. Compared to the photos I have seen my view was nothing special but I told them what it meant to me. I currently have 25.8k likes.

Can you believe that?! 3 dogs, some slabs and a wall. How could I have underestimated it so much. To so many people on the world our home is older than their country.

I have been blown away by the comments from people all over the world. It restores your faith in humanity… there are so many people out there with a lovely thing to say. Support for my mental health, oodles of love for the puppers and awe at the history we live with every day and maybe take for granted.

Wow. I’ve just checked again and it’s 25.9k likes now. It’s crazy.

I’ve done loads since I came in from work so it’s been a good day. Things done, boxes ticked and a wee surprise at the power of a simple FB post.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

What a beeeeeeea-U-tiful day! There was a stunning sky at 7.30am because of course I didn’t manage a lie in again today. why would I after a strenuous workout yesterday?!

It’s cold so we have the stove on for the first time in ages.

We had coffee while I sat in Gran’s chair. Basically that means that the side of me next to the fire is roasting and the side of me at the door is freezing. 🥵🥶 she says trying to edge in to the fire… 😬🤣

I was swithering about what to do with my day when Claire messaged to ask if I was taking the dogs out. Told her I was toying with the beach so she said she’d come too!

There were cows in the field and their feeder was right up at the gate to the beach. Now this is controversial as I know I don’t own the land but you’d think we could have access to the beach from the car park without having to negotiate a herd of cows. Thankfully I saw them as we drove past so knew to have the dogs on the lead. People near beaches must get inundated with visitors so I do understand but it’s just another path that’s getting closed off. It’s not often I’m a wee big negative but this makes me a bit sad.

We watched the lifeboat come flying out to this ship, speed round the back of it and then off out in front as if leading it in somewhere. Was a fascinating few minutes trying to figure out what was going on!

Claire bought me Turkish Apple Tea for my birthday so I took that down in the van and we had that with some Marshmallows that Craig had got me from the Marshmallowist.

It’s been a stunning day. Everything seems much brighter when the sun shines. The colours are so vibrant in the winter sun.

Had the best wee trip out, came home, wrote most of this and then into the pub next door for wee Rachel’s 12th birthday party!

It’s now 8.20pm and I’ve just quickly made breakfast and lunch for tomorrow and packed my sports bag for the morning.

My diet has been pretty shocking since Wednesday. Now when I say that, it’s nothing like it was but I’ve had more sugar than I’ve had in the last 3 weeks.

I feel it. There’s a bubbling anxiety that I’ve not done quite what I wanted and I’m not as calm as I’d want to be at this time on a Sunday night.

But actually… there’s nothing wrong, everything’s ready and I’m writing a list for the week. There’s no need for it. I need to screw the nut the next few weeks to get back on track and cut the sugar back out.

It’s a lovely calm and cold evening out there tonight. The moon is so bright.

So I hope you all have the best week. Be kind to everyone you meet as you’ve no idea what’s going on in their lives. ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

So let’s deal with the numbers first…. 600 days of writing a daily blog. Seriously, can you actually believe it?!?

600 days ago I decided to keep a blog about life in lock down. I had been off sick from work since September 2018 with anxiety depression.

My position was made redundant in on 28th February 2020. That was about 20 days before we went into COVID-19 lockdown.

None of us knew what was coming.

I went into lockdown without a job.

That was equally terrifying.

To be fair I was nowhere near ready to look for a new one. I still had a long way to go before I had the confidence to work for anyone.

I quickly found how much I enjoyed writing it. I needed to write it. While I tried to keep it as a diary of lockdown, I found that it really helped me to make sense of all the jumbled up feelings in my head.

I am an overthinker.

I worry about the day I never saw…. As my Gran would say…. 💜

I have all the tools to control it. Yet sometimes it’s so overwhelming that I forget all of those tools. Yet I sit down anywhere from early afternoon to early evening every day and write down how I’ve felt during my day and it really helps me.

I spend the day collecting blog content in my head, it gives me some focus.

It’s been the best thing I’ve ever done…. I’ve done it for me and it helps me so much.

On top of that I gave up drinking alcohol in January 2019 and I have 1,052 days alcohol free under my belt. I am a much better person without it. It’s been a very difficult journey and a lonely one at times but it’s right for me.

I also hit 98 days without anti-depressants and that, for me, is huge!!! I am managing my life without the meds and I am so, so very proud of it.

So that said, I was anything less than mediocre today. We undertook our first Hyrox challenge at the Fit Body Farm today. Check us.

Now this was a Hyrox Half so we did half of everything on that list, that’s still 4K of running along with all the other exercise in between.

I was overwhelmed by it all even when we arrived. I’ve never taken part in a sports event before. I’m like a kid at the FBF who expects to be pointed in the right direction all the time and we had to take responsibility for all of this ourselves. Big girl pants.

I found it really hard. Craig and I worked together and he finished the first four stages before me. I felt like I was holding him back. I felt like everyone who started after us was catching us up… my inner voice was so negative. The next four stages came way more easily to me. To be fair, I had half the weight Craig had.

I finished the last one before him and they all shouted me to run to the finish line. He waited for me most of the morning so I was never going to do that. We crossed the finish together…. huge high five and big hug.

I tried to swallow it down but burst into tears for a quick moment. The relief it was over, the adrenaline crashing now it was over.

We were done by 11am. I’ve been worried about it for way longer than it took to do it.

I was beetroot for ages afterwards.

We had hot showers when we got home and I didn’t want to get out of…. Ever.

Then we went down to Mocha Jak’s for lunch.

We had a lovely lunch. It was so nice to relax and be really proud of what we’d done.

I feel like I’ve been rabbiting on for hours here and still so much to say…. Will speed it up.

When we came home I went into Claire’s for a lovely cuppa. Got some great pics of her handsome boy!

Then home for dog walk. I love a sunset dog walk.

I’ve been sitting for the last hour and half writing this and I might never move again. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😬🤣

I want to thank everyone who reads this whether it’s daily or from time to time. People who don’t even know me. I appreciate you all and hope that my ramblings help some of you.

Life is not easy. It’s how we face it that matters.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Yup I think I am…. But I still let Craig make breakfast this morning without feeling too guilty. It was very lovely!

We were awake super early as seems to be the way these days. Got up at 7am and had coffee.

We started talking about Christmas presents this morning. Christmas usually hits in our house once my birthday is out the way.

Now I have always prided myself in being good at buying gifts for people. I love picking things out that I think they would like, love buying wee bits and pieces so that they have lots of lovely gifts to open and love watching them open them.

Now for some reason in these last few years I have lost all confidence in being able to choose gifts for people.

It started with my friend Lea’s birthday. I’ve know her for 20 years. She was our Maid of Honour. I’ve bought her gifts for 20 years and always known what to get her. She turned 40 just before we went into Lockdown 1.0 and I had no idea what to get her. I couldn’t buy her anything. The more I put it off the worse it got and it turned into a huge big thing for me. It’s almost like I used it as something to beat myself with.

So we finally bought her a ring that she wanted but I can’t shake off the feeling that I don’t know what to get anyone anymore.

To be fair I spent the best part of a year and a half at home “off sick” and pretty much hiding from the world. Maybe that’s enough to have made me lose track of people’s likes and dislikes but I need to get over it. And sharpish!!

So we headed out to the shops this morning and picked up some bits and pieces and I started to feel a wee bit excited about Christmas which is UNHEARD OF for me recently.

I’ve really struggled with it for years and I’m not sure I can put a finger on why….. that’s something to mull over the next few weeks.

So we then headed to Decathlon and I got a running jacket and long sleeved top with money from my parents and in-laws.

I love the way Bhruic is looking at me 🤣🤣

We were home by 12.30pm and I had to head straight back out to get my nails done. I now have red sparkly toes which no one will ever see 🤣🤣.

Then down to Tartan HQ to pick up Abbie the Campervan with her new solar panel which the boys fitted overnight.

I now have a 200 watt solar panel to help charge up my leisure battery. This means we can be off grid and still have the fridge and the diesel heater working.

I took the dogs out as soon as we got home.

The sky’s been funny all day today. A low level cloud that looks almost yellow, like dirty water. So strange. I tried to take a photo.

Love this tree in the Geilsland Estate.

And this next one.

The sky was stunning but I missed the best of it.

So back home and in jammies as I do. I’m writing this with Freya curled up on my lap and Bhruic by my side.

It’s been a great, chilled out few days.

The calm before the storm.

We have our first timed exercise challenge tomorrow morning at the Fit Body Farm. We’re both doing a half Hyrox.

It’s going to be hugely out of my comfort zone and way more exercise than we’ve done recently. The time isn’t the be all and end all. We’re doing it for the challenge.

Least I have a new jacket to wear 🥳

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️