Healing mental health during COVID-19 times and beyond
Author: Julie
I’m healing from anxiety and depression and exploring my way through a whole new lovely world with an abundance of awareness and a new love for life… and travelling the world!
Another wonderful sleep last night… I’ve been sleeping so well this week. It’s great. Long may it continue.
I got up early and took all 3 dogs out for a walk/run first thing and it was beautiful.
Running and taking photos and video clips. Multitasking at its best. I had a great run.
I did have a bit of a poop incident on this path…. Dog poop, obviously!
The poop bag burst….. in my hand…. I had nothing else I could use, except a second, equally split bag…. 🤦🏻♀️. I had to run with said burst bag of poop and 3 dogs until I got into the village to the nearest poop bin…. The lengths us dog owners go, to not be one of those dog owners who leave it lying on a path! 🤦🏻♀️😂
What a way to start the day….
After hours of hand washing… I headed into The little gift shop.
We had a lovely wee day at work today. Got lots of new bags unpacked and out on the shelves and we were so busy working, I forgot to take photos.
Up the road for about 1.30pm, had a bite of lunch and then finally got back into the wetsuit ready for a swim at 3pm!
Look who I bumped into! Claire all set for a lovely day out looking all smart and me in my wetsuit and dryrobe… it needed a photo!
Now the camera did not play ball today. I only got a few photos and to be honest, I gave up and actually just enjoyed the view.
Should say we went to Seamill Beach today.
It was cold but way warmer than my last swim on 2nd January. It was really lovely out there today.
I love it!
This is West Kilbride.
It was sunny but cloudy so some photos look really mean and moody.
Eileen got her little campfire out again and we had toasted marshmallows and some lovely empire biscuits that one of the girls brought. All with hot peppermint tea in my flask.
Some lovely silhouettes as we stood.
Beautiful.
I’ve had a lovely day. I’m tired now. Had a hot shower and all wrapped up for a night of movies in front of the fire!
Ok so I had a pretty rotten end of day yesterday and felt really low. I fell asleep on the couch before 8pm, woke up at 10 and straight through to bed, slept till 6.30am. Out for the count.
Musta needed it! I feel so much better for a decent rest.
I looked out the window this morning and saw a lovely red sky. I jumped out of bed and pulled my running gear on and went up the hill with Calaidh.
I didn’t feel much like doing anything but since then I’ve gone out a second run with Bhruic and I feel much more energetic!
Our wee village looks lovely this morning.
I love the bank of clouds that are just above the hills…. They looked like they were all around the coast.
This next gate is very proud of its Scottish roots!!
So I did run as much as I could and just walked to get my breath back a bit. Obviously I stopped to take photos. I mean I would t be me, if I didn’t take photos….
From now on I’m out with Bhru…. Not that that really matters.
Loads of planes flying over the village this morning.
So I sat outside with my Slothee Coffee mug from the Crochet girls, had a black coffee and wrote this and then decided there was still enough in the tank to take Freya out. My 3rd run/walk before 9.30am. I’m at 10,456 steps before work! I’m going to post this next one again…..
I have made a concerted effort to enjoy life and appreciate the magic of it all, today. My circumstances haven’t changed, only my reaction to them.
The sun’s much higher in the sky by the time I get out with Freya.
Dog walks ✅ ✅✅
I have also joined the Gate Appreciation Society on FB….. I just did my first post. 😂
I’ve been at The little gift shop today and been loving pricing up all the lovely new things Gayle has in. I took a quick photo of the window.
As usual we get a great chat and catch up as we work and the day flew in. I hit a wall about 3.30pm and I’m now sat on the couch with my feet up…. Knackered!
It’s been a beautiful day and it’s been lovely to chat to everyone about the sunshine. We have such lovely customers…. You know me, as much as I need to be own my own and crave silence, I love me a good bit of chat!
Craig has been is the office all day today working on Scottish Dog Behaviourist stuff. He’s been up since 5 and is still sitting there just now and it’s nearly 5pm. I’ll need to break him away from it!
It’s been one of the those days where wee things have got to me and I’ve allowed them to spoil my mood.
I feel like a grumpy child having a tantrum inside my head because I can’t get my way.
It’s funny how “she who was floating on air” yesterday, is nowhere to be seen today. It was a beautiful morning first thing…. We were back up to the garage this morning so there were two campervans outside today.
Claire had sprayed de-icer all over Ailsa the tartan camper’s windows before she got to work, how considerate of her!
I thought I’d be clever and start up the diesel heater in Abbie, so she would be all defrosted and super toasty by the time I got back home…. An hour later she still has frosty windows and the error is back on the heater. Grump. Instead of driving to work in the beautiful sunshine and appreciating the view, I drove super grumpy and didn’t realise I’d got there until I was there. I’ve spent the day thinking I’ll just sell the van…. Get a wee run around with zero road tax and decent mpg….. overreaction much.
We had the pop top up at work today showing a customer…. Couldn’t resist a photo.
There is a very good chance that the hormones are raging at the moment.
I actually went through to the bedroom and punched the bed like a punch bag. I almost allowed myself to smile. That felt good.
I’m tired and feeling a bit sorry for myself… that’s all. I have a super busy weekend again and I just need some time to do nothing….. tonight I made dinner, did a washing and hung it up, washed the dinner dishes. I work hard when I’m grumpy!
I have chosen to just exist today and that’s not good. More effort required tomorrow.
Tonight I’m just gonna sit in whatever this is…. And feel it.
What a beautiful day. What a difference the sunshine makes to our everyday lives. I’m just as busy, just as tired but that blue sky 💙💙💙
I’m currently standing here as I write this, it’s not hot but there was a real warmth to the sun when I sat outside at lunchtime.
I never miss a chance to get outside!
It’s been a busy day but a bit more exciting today as I had to run Craig to the garage in Paisley this morning and collect Ailsa the Tartan Camper that’s been in for MOT and service before the season starts. (That was the longest sentence ever and also laughable I find that exciting!!)
We were there for 8am. Then had to pick I some stock from a supplier at 9. On the day back we went over the Glennifer Braes from Paisley back to Gateside.
I pulled in to get some great photos of Ailsa with the view but the light was not our friend this morning!
How tall is Craig that he can take photos from this height?!?
You can see as far as Ben Lomond from here but none of that is visible in the shots.
So into work for 10 and a very busy, crazy day until the back of 4. I had caffeine this morning. I is buzzin….. 😂😂
It was so nice to feel the sun on my skin at lunchtime. Ellison had brought me lentil soup and a buttered roll again. It was sooo good.
I decided to head down to Irvine Beach Park after work to catch the sunset. Wow. I’ve really missed this.
I had to climb this first!!
The dunes here are stunning.
By the time I got up the hill to the dragon there was a family climbing all over it…. Dammit. My pics are cutting them all out.
Of course when I get back over the hill they are gone!
This is Ailsa Craig, where the rock for all the worlds curling stones comes from 🥌
And breathe.
Craig’s new business is going so well. He’s booking jobs in and creating lots of online content. It’s so exciting.
This wouldn’t happen without everyone continually sharing his posts. Very are so very grateful!
Not gonna lie. My hands are frozen stiff. The decision is a difficult one. To stay and wait for sunset or to head home and get dinner before crochet?!?
The tide has gone out fast.
I cannot tell you how good this makes me feel. Fresh air and blue sky. Heaven.
I’m moving before I freeze to the spot!!
What a wonderful day to be alive.
If I come back tomorrow I’ll have warmer clothes!!
You know I love me a little stat and I have precious little to say tonight….. at the risk of sounding completely repetitive and boring myself…. It was another crazy busy day at work today. Not enough time to swing a cat. 🤦🏻♀️😂
I had a great sleep until someone’s alarm went off at 5am. Someone fell back to sleep while I lay and did some work in my head. 🤔🤦🏻♀️
Back to the stats eh….
1631 days since I walked out of the office in floods of tears no longer able to function
1510 days since I gave up self medicating with alcohol
1050 days of writing this almost daily blog…. I know I duplicated days at the start so it’s actually been more than this but I’m just splitting hairs 😂
951 days since I last touched a drop of alcohol
694 days since I started work with Tartan HQ
556 days since I stopped taking anti-depressants
151 days since I started working at The little gift shop
117 days since I went on HRT
63 days since I started daily fasting
3 days since Craig launched the Scottish Dog Behaviourist and started the next chapter of our lives
1 day since I said I was busy at work and tired!
So yeah…. That’s the best way to sum up today, on a big positive.
I even went food shopping after work for the first time, in what feels like, forever. I bought lots of veg and came home and ate a cheese roll and crisps. 😂
I’ve written the opening paragraph 3 times already and I sound like a right grump…. So I’ve deleted it!
It’s been smirry rain all day but that’s also not the end of the world. It’s that fine rain that soaks you, as my Gran would say!
There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just tired.
I had the best sleep… this was the first Monday with no Farm so I actually got a good 7 hours and 51 minutes…. Bliss.
We’ve just had another really busy day at work and the day has flown in. I find it hard to write the same thing every day….
It’s been a good day. My head’s been good but after 19.5 hours of fasting, I did know that I needed to eat to clear my head. It got a bit fuzzy just before lunchtime.
Craig’s Scottish Dog Behaviourist FB page membership has been growing well. The sharing of his FB post over a Saturday and Sunday, hit 7.5K people. Isn’t that amazing and we are so very grateful to everyone that shared it. He already has one booking and five more calls to make. It’s super exciting and lovely to see him so passionate about his work.
I’ve become really addicted to checking the number of his followers. I’m also super proud that he’s using many of my videos and photos!
(I have to say that I take these scarves out the drawer now and I feel like the puppers head for the hills 🤦🏻♀️😂 not that again… she wants more photos?!? 😆)
So I could have been really negative today. About the weather, the being super busy… blah blah… but actually I have so much to be grateful for, I’ve managed to turn it around writing this.
We had a lovely meal in the Gateside Inn last night, for Mum’s birthday.
Dad and I had Peppered Beef with Rice and Veg, Mum had Chicken Tempura and Craig had Chicken & Leek Pie.
Holly had laid on a bottle of Prosecco and a bottle of Nozeco for us which was so lovely of her.
Dad and Craig had lentil soup to start…. For the first time ever, I never had a starter. Unheard of!
I did, however, order the Toasted Waffles with Tablet ice cream and toffee sauce…
Of course Mum and I had to share it as it is massive!!!! but very, very good…
By the time you eaten a Gateside meal, there is nothing else for it but to put your feet up in front of the fire, especially since you were awake since 5am. 😂
We lit the tealight village when we came home and I managed to stay awake for another hour before heading to bed at 10pm. Rock me on a night out eh?!
Mum got lots of cuddles whether she liked it or not!
I slept really well and woke at 6.48 which is a lie in for me these days.
Craig did a lot of work on his Scottish Dog Behaviourist page this morning and put out a post asking as many people to share as possible. We joked that maybe 20 people would…. We are so very grateful that currently he has 118 followers now which yesterday, midday, was ZERO. The response has been phenomenal and we are truly grateful.
88 people have already shared his post! This is where social media plays a great role…. in creating awareness.
He’ll be doing 2 or 3 posts a day to help us understand our dogs a bit better. Jeez I’m tired, you know what I mean but that didn’t even really make sense to me!
He went off to meet the village woodcutters at 10 and Mum and Dad and I headed down to Gro Coffee in Irvine. Here are the pups getting settled when we left.
Here’s Mum in Gro on her Birthday Boxing Day!
The food in Gro Coffee is out of this world. I had the breakfast taco, Dad had an omelette with Cajun chicken and Mexican veg (which resembled a calzone pizza) and Mum had poached eggs with smoked salmon. It was exquisite.
Poached eggs with smoked salmon on sourdoughThree cheese omelette Breakfast TacoThe huge selection of Gro cakes!
Mum bought a huge strawberry tart for Craig and we went for a freezing cold, brisk walk along the promenade!
It’s wild and all though 8°C, the wind chill made if feel so much colder!
I’m really looking forward to some sunshine, even just blue sky would be lovely. It’s not very picturesque at the moment though it was certainly dramatic.
Irvine Beach
We got home by 2ish and Mum and Dad left to head home. I think I might need a wee nap after all that lovely food and sea air. The wood burning stove is on in the sunroom, for the first time in ages, and I might just settle into Gran’s chair like old times.
Oh I should show you my beautiful flowers… the tulips from Mum and Dad and the roses from Claire through the week. What a lovely surprise and they’re such a joy to see. A reminder of brighter weather to come!
Thanks again to all of you who have shared the Scottish Dog Behaviourist. It’s the only way he will become known. Your distance from us shouldn’t matter as he will share lots of tips on a daily basis and eventually run online courses so that everyone can have access to his work.
For those of you who don’t have dogs…. I will talk about something else one day, I promise 😂😂😂
It’s Mum’s birthday today and they’re coming over this afternoon so we can have dinner in the pub next door.
It’s 2.40pm and I’m in bed to write this and catch a quick 40 winks. They’ll be here at 4pm.
It was busy in The little gift shop today, as people came in to congratulate Gayle on taking on a 3rd shop in Lochwinnoch.
There was lots of excited chat!
I also cleared away Valentine’s Day and brought out Mother’s Day. (19th March in the UK!). Cleared the shop window out and cleaned the window and the front glass door.
Craig’s also started doing loads of FB posts for the Scottish Dog Behaviourist, so I’ve been sharing all that. There’s been a lot of social media…..
So yeah, I’m tired. Been up since 5am. Dogs walked, house cleaned.
It was a dreich morning but I got loads of photos today as there was a strange light in the sky.
There must have been a lot of rain overnight as the burn was swollen.
I became strangely obsessed with the pylons today….
The sky looked so heavy….it was really unusual.
So I have an hour till my folks get here. Gonna put this out now and get a quick Power Nap!!
Have a great Saturday afternoon and evening. Pics from out night to follow tomorrow!
It’s 5pm and I am shattered. Exhausted. Knackered…. But I have lots of exciting news to share!
Up and at ‘em for my last Fit Body Farm as a full time member 😢 never saw that coming, did you?!
It was a tough workout. 15 minutes of constant exercise, trying to do as many circuits as possible….. twice!!!!
Check the state of me by the time I was finished….
I walked up to Gavin, the Coach, and gave him a sweaty hug and started to cry…. He said that we should say “see you soon, rather than goodbye”. I hope that we will be back.
So….. you’re maybe wondering why?! Well….. 🐶🐶🐶
Craig is in the process of launching a new business and we need to use everything we have to ensure a successful launch.
It doesn’t matter where you are in the world…. If you have a dog, please go take a look and follow him. (Also in Insta!)
He’ll be posting loads of info and will eventually have a YouTube channel and online courses!
It’s all happening!
In other news, the little gift shop made a big announcement on FB today. If you’re local go check out Gayle’s FB page! Exciting times for her too!!
So I just need to make sure I keep exercising somehow, as the Farm has been very good for my mental health. I can’t let that slide.
So maybe that explains my mood in the last few weeks’….. I’ve been shattered all the time but there’s been a lot going on that was not my story to share. I’ve been supporting Craig when I’ve not been at work. He’s obviously the one doing all the hard work!
I’m really looking forward to getting involved in his new venture. Sorry in advance, if I go on about it a bit…. It means a lot to us that he is successful. Remember that we want to share as much of this worldwide with anyone who has a dog or dogs.
What a day! 7am to 4pm with a wee cheeky half hour in Abbie the Campervan. I literally could have slept there all afternoon. I put the diesel heater on and it was super cosy.
I had the best sleep last night. It was sooo good. I felt really refreshed when I woke up.
Last night was the first night back on the Progesterone, for the next 2 weeks. It helps you sleep.
I’ve been really emotional today though. I’m not that sure why. Claire sent me this….
To be honest, I’ve never heard of dumfungled but I love it!
I am really tired. We’ve been super busy but it’s been a good week.
I started off at 7am, with the list I wrote last night and I actually got through most of it during the day. I’ve finished up tonight feeling way more organised than I did last night.
I’ve felt really sad today. There were tears a few times…. Honestly for no real reason. Could just be the hormones.
I was home by 4.40 and made a pasta bake for dinner. It was ready just before 6pm but I was heading over to the Village Hall to help set up for a Psychic Night that’s running tonight, to raise funds for the Hall.
I have the chance to go and I swithered for ages but decide not to.
One day I’ll actually go to something like that instead of avoiding it.
The girls were super lovely as we set up. Always a lovely word to say. Their kind words mean a lot to me.
I came home for dinner and am back on the fasting again.
This next one is only for laughs as I’ve not lost my shit…. 😂😂
No one wants a shit storm!
Hope the girls have the best night while I curl up on the couch.
Good sleep!!! Great sleep actually. I was still pretty hot through the night but I was out for the count until 4.15am. (yeah I know that’s ridiculously early!)
My friend Anne tagged me in this! 😂
That made me laugh! So yeah, off to the Farm and the moon was AMAZING this morning. I’ve no photos as I was driving.
It was a prefect chunky crescent 🌙 and it was almost red. It just hung in the sky, not far from the ground. I was blown away by it the whole way to the Farm. I love appreciating nature like that.
I can hardly walk by the time I get there! My muscles are so tight from Friday and Monday. It was another great workout. Lots of weights and running.
The sky was lovely when I left. The sun was starting to rise. We were so lucky to get the workout done before the rain hit.
It’s lovely to leave in the almost daylight.
It was torrential rain from 8-10 ish. Stotting off the ground, such a difference from the early morning.
My day flew by in a heartbeat. Honestly, I don’t know where the hours went. It was so busy and I had people in from late morning for most of the day. I was going to stay late but I was too tired. I knew I’d not concentrate properly and end up wasting time. I’ll go in early in the morning again and try to clear the decks before the weekend. It’s amazing the business that the Show has generated for us.
I still struggle with being out of control. I’ve tried to write a list of things to do in the morning. I just need to stick to it when I get in.
I’m off to meet the Crochet Hookers in the pub next door in 7 minutes. Sure we’ll get a good chat and put the world to rights….
Oh that reminds me, Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon resigned today. (that’s was a quick switch in conversation eh?!)
I know so many people who don’t have a good word to say about her but I’ve nothing but respect for the commitment she’s shown our country. 🏴
I was up at 5.30am and in work for 7.15am. We’re so busy just now that I feel like I’m not making a dent in it!
There was another lovely lady’s funeral today and I passed on my apologies that I couldn’t make it. I really wanted to be there, to pay my respects but the logistics of that, and coping with the workload would have been too much. I am so very sad for her loss….
I can still hear her voice and her deep laugh. I can see her wink and feel her hug.
I also can’t walk away from the amount of work that needs doing. The people pleaser in me isn’t sure how to handle this so I have to do what feels best for me at the time.
I think about her a lot. She’s in every tree and it makes me smile. I know how ridiculous that sounds by the way. I’m just saying it how it is!
Carole this spooky tree, from last year, is just for you. I’m sure you would have commented on it.
I’m really tired tonight. I feel a bit meh and I’ve lost the giggly spring that I had in my step yesterday. Nothing that a good sleep won’t fix.
It’s also Valentine’s Day today but we’ve chosen not to do anything for it this year. I like this next one that my friend Carol-Ann shared.
And definitely this….. ♥️
I’ve just read this back and realise it sounds a bit down. I’m really not. Looking forward to my cosy, clean bed!!
I didn’t sleep great last night… woke at 1.30am, then again at 3 and finally up at 5am for Fit Body Farm.
It was a great session outside this morning. I love the outdoor workouts. It was actually light by the time I left at 7.30am!
The snowdrops are blooming in full force.
It was lovely to see the daylight that early… the forecast was for pure blue sky all day. It never really happened. I was soooo hoping for a sunset at the beach after work tonight. It was not to be!
There were sunny spells today but nothing f of any significance. Shame! I was looking forward to a good dose of vitamin D.
Work was crazy busy today. The customer enquiries have just kept flooding in since the show. It’s been an amazing response. The phone has not stopped ringing all day! I have taken more work instead of actually doing any… all day!!
It’s all good. It’s been a fun day. I’ve felt a bit excitable, a bit giggly. It’s been a lot better than getting stressed out.
I don’t like being out of control but I’ve actually laughed at it today…. That’s the way to be. And long may it continue.
I’m cuddling with Bhruic on the couch now.
Will go into work early tomorrow to try to get some done before the phones start ringing again.
I had such a great sleep last night. 8 hours and 19 minutes… I woke feeling refreshed. Clean bed has a lot to answer for.
I didn’t get night sweats for the first time in about a week and a half. I could have stayed in there all day and as I write this I think it would actually be nice to go back 😂
Had a nice decaf black coffee in my slothee mug! (from the Crochet Hookers for my 50th!)
So yeah… as usual on my day off, I want to do absolutely everything but actually I really want to do nothing. It’s half 1 already and I have dusted and polished the fire place and window ledge in the living room. I’ve tidied out the “candle” cupboard (yup we have one of those…) as it was a mess. I’ve hung one washing and put on another and I’ve walked the dogs…. For the first time in AGES!!
It’s a dull and fairly nondescript February day. It’s cold at first but then hot when you’re walking. I may have overdressed. The sky is grey and everything looks a big damp, soggy and miserable. It doesn’t make for the best photos! off out with Bhruic and Freya first.
Then back home for Calaidh.
Now Calaidh is not the most agile of dogs…. She doesn’t run half as much as the other two…. was lovely to catch her jumping this burn.
This was the most arty shot I could find… very slim pickings this morning 😂
Today was all about the water!
She really is a cutie pie.
So it’s now half 4 and I really have done nothing of any significance. I managed 19.5 hours of fasting.
I’m in front of the fire with a book while the football blares on the tv….. 😂
It’s been a restful day. I’m chilled and relaxed. I’m sure we’ll be binging Happy Valley as soon as the football is over!
Wow, 1040, feels like about 5 minutes since day 1000…. Life is passing by at a great rate of knots.
Awake at 5am today and it’s now 6 and I’m still lying in bed so thought I’d start this early. I’ve dosed up on positivity from my The Rambling Sloth FB feed. No nasties on there.
I found this. I was diagnosed with anxiety in 2018 when I first went off sick from work. But this…. Got me right in the feels.
100%. My body wouldn’t let me do that to myself for one more day….. well it let me go back for 5 months but they were the most pointless 5 months ever…. I was there because I felt I “should”. That word again…. Think about every time you feel you “should” do something. Does that not mean that we really don’t want to do it? It becomes a chore… how does your body make you feel when you force yourself to do something that you feel you “should” do?
Mine has a stroppy child inside that huffs and puffs and waves angry arms around… seriously. She’s totally in her element when I feel I “should” do something.
I think I’m pretty selfish these days. Selfish seems a very negative word…. Actually I know what works for me and what doesn’t. I need to listen to my body and it knows what’s right for me and what’s not. If something raises that stroppy child then it’s not really something I should be doing.
I feel a detachment from people at times. I don’t have s hectic social life, I don’t see lots of people because I have to build downtime into my week. I’m ok with that but I do feel I “should” make more of an effort at times.
I’ve been really stuck by 2 people who have died recently and by how much their deaths have affected me. For those who don’t know who they are, I will say that neither of them were close friends. Jeez that sounds awful but I’m trying to say that saying sorry for my loss seems wrong as the loss is felt WAY more by others…. But I’ve been profoundly affected by both lovely ladies and they will never know the impact they had on my recovery. Oooh a wee tear escaping there.
Both of these women, who hardly knew me, took time out of their busy lives to connect with me when I was ill. One was absolutely determined to get me out of the job that had broken me and the other always with a wink and a hug and the right words at the sad times.
Where am I going with this? I guess it’s to tell you all how much we do impact other people’s lives. Someone will remember you for the smallest things… a song, a smile, a memory, a wise word, a hug, some love….
And sadly on the flip side, there will be those that we remember for the wrong reasons. If someone doesn’t feel right to you then YOU are right. Your gut instinct is right. Someone who doesn’t treat you well, makes you feel bad every time you connect with them, gives you a dog, a back handed snide remark, those are not your people.
I read recently in the Happiful Magazine. Worth a follow by the way…. You should not be scared of not being liked…… eek!
Well I have a long, long, long way to go with that one. I’m not sure how to get my head around it.
I have hurt people on my journey…. I know there are people out there who don’t like me….. but that thought could eat you up from the inside out. That is not a pleasant feeling. I’ve attached a link to the article though so you can all feel as uncomfortable as me 😳😬😘
As an aside, I must say here that I find fasting incredibly easy…. But when hubby is up super early and the smell of bacon wafts it’s way under your bedroom door…. A girl could be forgiven for falling off the fasting wagon.
Anyway, I think I’ll get up now and change the bed…. Put my time to better use. Be nice to have clean bed tonight.
I just went back to the top of the blog to add a title and call it “early morning feels” ……… then realised I can’t do that!!!!!! 😂😂😂
Oh haha a dog barked… they can smell the bacon too…. Right, I’m up!!!
The days seems so long when you get up that early.
It was The little gift shop’s 4th birthday today. I was the first ever customer when Gayle opened. I took a video when I walked into the shop. It looks soooo different today! She’s done so well and I’m so proud of her. She just goes after what she wants and does it. A great role model.
I had my Valentine’ Day sweatshirt on with a heart patterned scarf…. I’m not taking it off as I may never wear it again. It was only £5.99 and is not the best shape or quality.
So yeah, it’s 2.15pm and I’m in comfies on the couch between Freya and Bhruic. I’ve finished my 13 day stint of work and have 1.5 days off work. I’m not doing anything for the rest of the day.
3am again. Wide awake. I tried to back to sleep and reckon I was completely successful…. About 10 minutes before the arm went off…. 🤦🏻♀️😂
I got up for the Farm at 5am and felt so groggy and lethargic. Craig got the dogs up before I left….. look how tired they all look!!
Please don’t go…. Just throw the ball 🎾
Nope I’m gunna get it….
Bhruic looking super sleepy….
Just stop pointing the camera at me says Freya! She looks soooo p’d off 😂
Oh ok you can throw it now….
The workout was brilliant though, and it was lovely to see a couple of the girls I haven’t seen for ages. I am soooo sore now and can hardly walk!!
I came home at 7.30am and blitzed the housework. I was on a roll and knew, as soon as I sat down, that would be me…. So I kept on going.
Had to spend 20 minutes unblocking the hoover…. Realised that all I was doing was pushing dog hair around the house and it must be blocked. I had to take it apart! Then had to go back over everything once I unblocked it….. 😂 it feels great to have taken the worst off. There’s still loads that needs doing.
I got a message from a Gayle to say she was all ready for me at The little gift shop, with decaf coffee and oat milk!!! So nice of her.
I took sandwiches, for us both, for lunch and we had some lovely cake…. Forgot to take pics dammit… it was a Crunchie chocolate square. It was delish.
So Valentine’s Day is in full swing …. No men in to buy cards today but hopefully some tomorrow. We need to get more male customers! We don’t bite!
This is the shop window…. With very bad reflection.
Gayle is going to run a competition to win this amazing gift. My photos don’t do it justice!
Here’s a selection of cards and new Bomb Cosmetics. The shop smells lovely again today.
It was really good to be back and catch up on all the news and see all the new jewellery and smellies.
There was a big village funeral, today, for the lovely lady who died recently. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it but it was lovely to see her daughter when I came home from work and give her a hug. She said her mum would have been pleased with how today went. I’m glad she had a lovely send off. ♥️
I’m not gonna lie… I am shattered now. I’m needing some time off after 12 days straight working and I’m really looking forward to a rest. Bearing in mind….. I crave alone time and silence and I have talked for 12 days. 😂 ironically talking is probably what I do best…. And I secretly love it but it will be nice to retreat into myself for a day and a half before it all starts again on Monday.
Chinese ordered as I can’t possibly cook (ok do I ever? It was my turn tonight and I just can’t….) candles lit… just need to change into my comfies and I’m done for the day!
Awake at 5am. I felt a bit antsy. Tense. Like I’d been grinding my teeth overnight.
I tried to get back to sleep but couldn’t. I played heavy rain sounds, then crashing waves followed by a meditation. All 3 were lovely and calmed my racing thoughts but I didn’t have time to fall back to sleep.
I was really jittery all morning. As if I’d had some caffeine. (I hadn’t, for once!)
I felt really anxious, breathless, trying to do everything all at once. I’m still bad for this when I’m busy. I like to be in control and I hate when I can’t be.
So I tidied up the office. Tried to put as much of the Caravan Show stuff back into its original place. I threw some junk out, I cleared my feet and felt a bit better.
There were things I had to do today, that I’ve neglected since the Show. I couldn’t do it all and had to accept that it was ok.
Ellison brought her lovely homemade lentil and bacon soup in for lunch again today. I cannot tell you how good it is!!
We had lots of customers in today too. The show has generated a great amount of enquiries.
When I left at 4pm, it was the end of my 11th day in a row at Tartan Campers. You know how I love a wee stat….
Day 1038 of the blog,
1498 days with alcohol,
544 days without anti-depressants (this is the one that I actually cannot believe!!)
And first time ever working 11 days in a row!! Course I still have The little gift shop over the next two days!!
I’m struggling to walk properly after the Farm yesterday. First big workout in weeks taking its toll.
I went straight to Silverburn Shopping Centre and stretched my aching legs out as I walked to meet Lea in Starbucks.
Starbucks is our thing. Our go-to. We used to go there once a week years ago, before I even met Craig. When Starbucks was a big thing… now they are everywhere.
And yes I ordered decaf! An oat milk caramelised macadamia latte DECAF!!! We must have told the girl about 5 times. Lea will sleep tonight on her caffeine… I’m impressed!
We haven’t caught up for ages so it was great to get a chat. Also lovely that we just pick up where we left off. We swapped Christmas presents and mine was in a Tartan bag!!
I got lovely perfume!
There was a Love Hearts arch and folk kept stopping for photos so we took a couple!
I love that Lea still had all the bags in this one!!! We couldn’t get a decent selfie with the arch in it at the same time!
I was back home about quarter to 8 and all of a sudden it’s half past already! It will be time for bed soon. Farm again in the morning. Which will be interesting if I stiffen up even more overnight… 😂
It’s all about mindset. I got my gym bag ready last night, alarm set. Bed at 10 after 4 episodes of Happy Valley. That’s us finished the first season already!
I slept like a log and woke about 2 minutes before the 5am alarm. I felt rested. Fitbit says otherwise and says I was awake a lot… nope it felt like a great sleep to me.
I got out of bed no problem at all. I was ready.
It was great to be back. It was a quiet class but it was a good ease back in. I still worked hard.
It’s psychological but I know I feel worse when I’m not exercising. I have felt way better today. Way more switched on.
It was early sunrise when I left and I got some photos in the dark…. They look a lot lighter than it actually was.
Snowdrops woo hoo!!! And loads of them!
Love me a snowdrop!
So on to work and had a great day. Instead of fighting the work that needs doing, I feel there was some acceptance today.
I just got on with it. I didn’t try to stall it. I didn’t try to find loads of other, more important things to do.
I did a food shop in Home Bargains tonight….. who’d a thunk it?!?!? Rump steak for £2.79 and it’s a good steak 🥩. 2 chicken fillets for £2.29…. Amazing prizes and it didn’t look like poor quality. Highly recommend checking one out.
There is one thing I’ve learned today though…. I’ve identified a personality type that I do not respond well too. When people have a high level of expectation and demand that they get the thing that they want, when they want it. I think I’ve talked about this before….
I’ve always been a people pleaser so would never dream of laying down how it should be to suit myself. I find it very hard to react to this kind of personality. It feels entitled to me and I don’t respond well to it. So I’ve a bit of thinking to do on that.
My internal reactions are not pleasant. I feel an actual pain in my chest, I feel anger and clench my teeth. I have a very descriptive face and am sure there must be something that shows there…. Sneer maybe?!?!
I need to learn that this behaviour is not a slight on me. It’s not a dig at me. I think it has been in my past and that’s where the trigger is. Mrs overreaction!
Anyway, life is a big giant learning curve, isn’t it.
I’ve also seen this…… and this is the reason I don’t drink any more. I could have written it myself. Word for word.
I’m in with my Crochet Hookers. I was late but turns out we all were 😆 so I must dash and stop being rude.
5am this morning. Wide awake. Ended up in the office for 7.15am as I may as well work at my desk than work lying in bed.
I have so much to do that I feel so disorganised. I really struggle being out of control.
Works well under pressure…. NOT!
I get in a flap and can’t think what to do first. Then I end up in the middle of 4 jobs at once….. I do know how to get out of that. I just can’t necessarily do it at the time when I’m it. It’s like I wallow in the flap and it allows me to justify how useless I am. Even as I write that I realise how ridiculous it is.
All in one big waffling paragraph. 😂
I’m so worried I forget something that’s important. Let someone down by not contacting them at the right time. Lose business because I don’t get to them fast enough. Or make a mistake. Forget to order something. Run out of parts for the build….. my list of worries is endless 😆
And this is why I write the blog…..
It’s natural that I’m tired after the weekend but I struggle with the not sleeping. (As I write this, I know so many people who sleep WAY less than me…. My heart goes out to them). I feel antsy and irritated but also really sluggish and lethargic. If I’m honest, I really think I’m missing the Fit Body Farm.
The thought of getting up at 5am does not fill me with ANY joy…. Yet I’ve a feeling that I will feel much better for it. I just have book it…. And get out of bed. 🤦🏻♀️😂 it’s a vicious circle, you’re tired so you need sleep but when you don’t go you you feel worse for it.
I really got loads done today and am upsetting no-one. That’s the best of it! 😂
I was so grateful to see actual sunshine when I left work tonight. It was about 4.30pm when I left and the sun was low but it was shining. It was bright and it felt lovely to see it at that time of day. I had a lovely drive home.
I went out into the garden and kicked a ball around with the dogs. It was only about ten minutes but it felt great to be out in the fresh air for the first time in ages.
There was a lovely sunset.
Everything has just been a bit overwhelming really. That’s all.
We’re now watching Happy Valley, we seem to be behind everyone else in the UK who just saw the last episode. It’s quite addictive… and I’m not sure it’s been that happy at all through the first few episodes. 😂😂😂 Highly recommend it if you haven’t watched it!
My head was singing songs, chattering away, making no sense. I wasn’t awake enough to get up, I’m exhausted…. But still no sleep.
I didn’t got to the Farm this morning and I felt really bad about that. It ruminated round in my head but I needed the rest. I’m not sure I got it so I set off to work early.
So as suspected, today was a little of the ordinary, mundane and routine…. And yet it wasn’t at all.
We are very lucky to have lots of work to do after the show but I’m a bit tired and jaded. 😂
An 8 hour nap today would have been amazing!!!
So I sat at my desk and sorted all our enquiries into date order and started working my way through them. There are still SO many to be done!!
So back on that tomorrow and hope that I can turn some of them into new business.
Today is 6th February, 2023 and our big girl Calaidh is 8 today!
With Calaidh it’s ALL about the tennis ball 🎾
She’s never happier than when she’s got her eye on a tennis ball.
She’s her daddy’s girl!
Here’s our little puppy when we took her to the vet at 12 weeks.
She had a unique personality. She doesn’t care for other dogs but just wants lots of affection from people. She’s scared of other dogs coughing and sneezing, she runs a mile. 😂
She’s always hiding from something 😂
Awww she’s the best. We don’t get the dogs anything for birthdays but we have been telling her it’s her birthday all day. 😂😂😂
In other news I got a Sizzle Streak badge today 😬 from Zero… the fasting app!
50 consecutive fasts!
Ok so I’m still not a size 12 but I feel so much better for it and I find it super easy to do. I feel much better without pigging out every single night. I’ve taken control of my diet and I’m managing it.
So that’s all from me now. A bit of a come down from the last few days but that’s ok. You can’t live life at that pace every day!!
The Rambling Sloth 🦥 