Day 1425 reflections…

I’m just out of kinesiology and trying to pop into Crochet in the pub next door… multitasking tonight!!

I had an amazing sleep today, went into work early and had the busiest day that just flew by. I got lots done but, for my head and methodical, spreadsheet driven brain, it was all a bit too scattergun for my liking. 😂 must try to clear it all tomorrow.

I’ve got a new SPF face cream to try, recommended by my friend Helen. It feels soooo lovely on my skin. I tried it when I was at her house last weekend.

I got the night cream too…. I am not a night cream person but have decided that I must start to be. 😂🫶🏼

I amanaged to make dinner just in time for kinesiology tonight…. High Protein Soba Noodle Salad With Kimchi, Green Vegetable Medley, Lime Satay Sauce & Super Seed Topping (copied that again!)

It was nice but not truly amazing. I’m still not fancying meat though did have a doughnut today… fairly certain that wasn’t vegan. 😂😂😂

I want to say something here about a lovely lady that I know through FB who was given months to live just after Christmas…. Now hers is not my story to tell… but, she is still reading the blog and says that she loves my adventures as it means that I take her outside with me.

I cannot tell you how that made me feel. 🫶🏼

I’m writing this as I want her to know just how much her friendship has meant to me over the years. She has supported me through some of the most difficult times in my life….we have never even met. She always had the answers that I needed, always told me everything would be ok.

I can’t tell her that, now, despite the fact that I want to more than anything in the world.

What I can tell her is how much I love her and value her friendship and how much of an impact she has made, and is still making, on my life. I’m now planning my weekend wondering where I can take her. Her story has made me so acutely aware that life is for living and I want to pass that message on to all of you.

Make the most of the present moment, don’t wait for the future. This minute, right now, you should live to the fullest as that’s what she would want us all to do.

I’ve wanted to write this for ages. Somehow it seems wrong but I don’t know what’s right or wrong in this situation. I can only do what feels right for me at this moment in time.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1411 a busy Wednesday!

Not the best sleep last night as I woke a few times but I’m feeling much better today. The headache has gone, thankfully!

It was a good day at work today. Super busy but not too much, got loads done and didn’t stop. Love days like that.

We got our oven cleaned today…… look at the before and after. Our oven has been desperately needing done for years now. Look at the difference!!!

I know I should be embarrassed by this… I am but there are two people that live in this house and one uses the oven way more than the other. 😂 that means he cooks more so I should be embarrassed by that…. But hey… I’m more impressed at how quickly they get it back to looking like new.

If you’re local, here is the number…. I am AMAZED at the results.

So I made the last of my Green Chef meals tonight and couldn’t even face eating it.

The power went off at work today so I couldn’t use the microwave for lunch so I ordered a lentil soup… AND chips and cheese. No wonder I couldn’t eat dinner.

I had kinesiology at 5.30pm tonight to try and settle this racing mind of mine.

And this…. Is what it’s all about. Listening to your inner voice.

So my bags are packed. I feel like I have far too much but I’ve got layers in case it’s cold and it’s 4 days. My wee TRIPP case is full and I still have walking shoes to squeeze in!

I’m just gonna leave you the last one from Rachel two doors down.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1331 something satisfying about that number isn’t there?

Sometimes the day numbers really make me stop and think about how many blogs I have actually written! I’ve started going onto my website www.theramblingsloth.com and reading some of my old posts. It’s like they’ve been written by someone else. She makes me laugh sometimes 😂😂

Anyhoo….. there is precious little to say today other than I am very appreciative of life at the moment.

It’s been another freezing cold, beautiful sunny day. The drive to work was even more special today. I was earlier than I had been the last few days and yet the sky was more pretty.

Work was good and I had to be home for Kinesiology and I’ve “graduated” again…. I’ve decided that I don’t need to book a further session just now as I finally feel like my ducks are almost in a row.

This ♥️

I have always been a person who lived in the future…. While feeing sad and regretting my past.

My life isn’t perfect at the moment. Things still go wrong. I still overreact. I still plan for the worst case scenario sometimes.

I laugh as I leave work in the morning with the biggest bag. I have shoes to change into in case it rains and a big coat, hat and gloves in case it gets even colder. I mean there’s no such things as being caught out is there?!?! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

In the last week or so I have felt an overwhelming calm.

I am content.

I am happy.

I’m sure Percy the Devil will fart in my face once again for that comment…. 😂😂 Blackadder reference 😂😂 but hey, it’s true.

When I remebered I had kinesiology tonight, I couldn’t think of one thing to talk about. If I scraped the bottom of the barrel, it would be feeling anxious about walking 3 dogs at once, sometimes.

So I’m exhausted after my session tonight, it’s amazing what comes up when you think you have nothing.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without my Health Kinesiology sessions. It’s been my lifeline over the last 5 years. Thanks to the lovely Shelagh and Angela for their direction and guidance. ♥️

So yeah…. Excited to see what the future holds. It’s always there for me if I need it.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1261 a much brighter day, still wet, dark and miserable though!

I always love the day after Health Kinesiology. The whirlwind has passed and only calm remains.

We covered loads last night, with the focus on me being really unsettled and out of sorts.

The hardest battle we face is with ourselves.

So very true. I’m still my own worst enemy at times.

I felt a real heaviness. Everything felt like a burden. Once again there was actually nothing wrong but I’d become weighed down by the amount of things that needed doing. Remember that some of these things were actually lovely, like holidays, but they just added to the drama inside my head.

This essence came up for me and as always, is scarily true.

I’m back on a even keel…. For a while anyway.

I think that I’m still so used to expecting the worst. My fight or flight response is still far too quick to kick in. I expect the worst all the time. Anxiety overthinks everything.

But not today. Today there is calm.

I got lots done at work as I’m having to plan ahead due to my holidays.

I came home and finally packed for my 3 days in Devon this weekend, staying at my friend Helen’s…. AND…

I put my clothes into my case for Turkey 🇹🇷 next week. check me!

All of these things have been causing anxiety. Today…. Packed, boom, done, what’s the worst that can happen?! Please all remind me that I have t packed any underwear for Turkey yet, so that could be awkward 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😘

This is the first night Craig has been in all week so I’m skipping the Crochet Hookers to spend the evening with him as I’m gallivanting for a while.

Check Khaleesi trying not to look at my fillet steak dinner.

It was very lovely.

So off to Devon after work tomorrow. Not flying to Bristol until 10pm so most likely be blogging from the airport tomorrow.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1218 a scorcher of a busy day at work!

What a beautiful day today. It’s been sunny and warm which has been lovely. I was able to wear my shorts to work and not freeze.

I’m sitting outside writing this. It’s windy but warm enough.

I had another amazing sleep but when I woke I wanted to just stay in bed and had to talk myself into moving… to be fair, I had to 😆 but I was super positive. I kept saying “you’ve got this and today is what you make it, it’s going to be a wonderful day and you’ll get loads done”.

It ran around my head like a mantra and I smiled every time I thought it. Which was a lot.

The morning went slowly as I started on all the things that needed doing. I was clear and focussed and pleased with my progress. All the while, massively proud of my positivity.

The day is what we make it.

Then I saw my lovely friend Isy posted this.

A major shift in consciousness…. Wow. I love when something like this clicks with me.

Things happened that weren’t what I wanted to hear but I took a deep breath and got on with them. I did what needed doing. Still smiling. Proud of my lack of Julie style reaction.

I can’t pinpoint when it actually went wrong but I became overwhelmed with everything coming at me in the afternoon.

My list long out the window. All the while everything that’s happening is just adding to the list. I’m no longer in control, I don’t have time to write things down before I move on to the next.

I should say here, as I always do, that NONE of these things are the end of the world. It’s my fight or flight reactions that make them the end of the world in my head. Nothing is insurmountable (I’ve used that recently 🙄) but it’s true, I know that.

Yet I get ratty, defensive, put myself down to anyone who will listen and worst of all… laugh at myself for being so cocky in the morning. “”yeah right, you think you’ve got it sussed, you’ll never have it sussed”. I speak to myself in a way I’d never speak to my worst enemy.

I have to take Abbie the camper van to the garage to get a once over before she sells. I’m not happy with the steering and think she needs a new power steering pump though hoping it’s less than that.

I left the garage without a lift home and felt all tearful and angry as I left. I suppose it’s understandable really but I feel like a wee kid who needs to have a tantrum. I’m full of pent up irritation and anger, all of it unfounded. I’ve become irritated with anything that doesn’t go my way. Tasks that a few Friday’s ago I was positively bursting to tick off my list are creating anger and frustration as I can’t possibly imagine how I’ll be able to fit that into my busy schedule.

Again, lets have a laugh at that…. My busy schedule sees me sitting with my feet up in front of the tv most nights so I’m hardly rushed off my feet.

So thankfully Gayle agreed to come and pick me up after work and I sat on a kerb at the high school car park for a while. That helped me breath a bit more freely. She then made me laugh in the car which really helped.

Honestly my teeth are crawling in the back of my mouth right now….. I messaged Angela, my kinesiolgist, to pull forward next weeks’ appointment and she can see me at 7.30pm. This stuff works wonders for me and I know I’ll feel better when I’ve talked it through. I feel better writing it down too.

I always vow when I’m like this, that I’ll never feel like this again and yet it keeps coming at me. I wish I could just let the bad feelings go but I hold onto them, swing around on them and get irritated by how they make me feel. Maybe that’s what I need to work on tonight.

Sorry…. I hear myself. I had such a lovely Sunday. I need to hold on to that…. Which means more photos!!!

Passing the Tall Ship on the Clyde.

On our way… Craig took this!

The Renfrew Ferry jetty. This is the only Clyde ferry that still operates across edge 200m river. The Captain said it was very popular with pedestrians.