Lets normalise talking about mental health.

Let’s stop hiding behind closed doors saying “poor Mrs so-and-so has bother with her nerves”.

That’s one of the main reasons for my blog. To talk about the things we don’t talk about. If I can help one person who’s struggling with their mental health, to realise they are not alone, then it’s worth it.

If you have someone off sick from work just now, message them… it might just make their day to know you are thinking of them.

I’ll keep banging that drum!!

We were very saddened today to hear about the passing of one of Craig’s work colleagues.

He was super fit and healthy yet collapsed while out on a run.

Just a stark reminder of how short life is. What a shock to hear that today.

I didn’t go to the Farm this morning. My knee’s still sore and it was lovely to have the wee extra lie in.

I’m still very calm and relaxed and loving the lack or reaction to things. Long may this continue 😬😂

It’s funny how some days a simple thing can light the blue touch paper and yet other days there’s just nothing. I do feel tired after a busy weekend so looking forward to a quiet night tonight with some Biofreeze on my knee and maybe some foam rolling of the old leg muscles…. Just saying that makes me cringe. I hate foam rolling when I most need it 😂😂

I’ve been super healthy today and really need to make more effort to stop shovelling junk again. I don’t think that helps my knee at all.

We are very careful about what we feed our dogs and put a lot of research into that, to keep them healthy.… yet just eat anything we can get our hands on.

I should say that Craig has a code for free Butternut Box for dogs if anyone is interested in trying it? We’ve fed our dogs this for years and it’s great…. Maybe I should eat some of that?!? 😂😂

They’re worth a look. They get a great nutritional rating. While I just eat carbs and sugar and more carbs and sugar. I’m not giving my body a chance.

So I’m back on it…. Counting down the days in my 49th year…. 😱😱😱

This next one stuck at my heart strings ♥️😂

I made cauliflower cheese for dinner today… cauliflower and leek cheese…. It was super tasty and I enjoyed making it rather than just opening a bag of crisps or some chocolate.

Hug your loved ones a bit closer tonight ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It was super windy this morning when I woke up at 7am. I was late in bed last night. We had a lovely afternoon and evening and Mum and Dad’s and I’ve just realised we didn’t take one single photo!! Special family time together.

So back to this morning, I got the dogs up and outside early and I sat in the garden and watched the sky turn pink before sunrise. The photos look orange…. Honestly this was very pink!

The ivy looks beautiful with the pink sky reflecting on it.

We sat out for a bit then I went back to bed for an hour or so. I couldn’t get back to sleep though. I did a Morrisons food shop on the app as I there.

As you do.

Food shop done without leaving the bed. We had a £10 voucher if you spent over £50 so that was a bonus!

I think I mentioned before but I use an app called “Lucky Bitch” which allows you to log all the money and value that you receive in a month unexpectedly. The theory is that you focus I gain rather than lack of money. I’ll be adding that £10 off the Morrisons shop as free food! It’s a great way to focus on the positives.

I took the dogs up the hill for a good run around. There are no photos of that either as I was updating to iOS 16. Check me leaving my phone at home.

The weather just continued to get worse and it’s now driving rain and really dark outside.

I tried to eradicate some of the dog hair again….. hoovered up as much as I could.

I’ve spent the day crocheting and then Craig and I popped into the pub next door for Steak Pie. The food shop doesn’t get delivered until 8pm tonight and I couldn’t be bothered heading out to the shops.

I also did a face mask! Sorry for the scare 😂😂😂

Thought that would give you all a laugh. 😳😂😘

I’m now back in front of the fire all cooried in and don’t intend to move for the rest of the day. There are things that need doing but they will just have to wait.

Time flies when you keep busy and I’m not used to this. I’m enjoying it though and just need to remember to build in some time for me.

I hope you all have a great week!

I know this is a lot to ask but many of you know how special the little gift shop is. I’ve dragged so many of you too it. Well Gayle had already won The Best Independent Retailer in the Ayrshire Business Awards and now she is a finalist in the Scottish Business Awards. If you can spare a few minutes, please could your vote for the little gift shop in Beith.

Shameless plug over…. I hope you all have the best week. Remember we’ve all got this and can take anything the week throws at us. There will always be those things that hit us from left field…. It’s how we react to them that counts. Says she who is great with advice… just doesn’t always take it. We’ve got this!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I was awake at 5am but tried to sleep until 7. I didn’t drink enough yesterday so was really dehydrated and woke with a thumping headache.

I’ve also really hurt my right knee again. I reckon it has to be diet related as I’ve not been eating well and the lack of water yesterday must count for something. i also did walk a lot last night when I went to the shops.

I was out with the dogs for sunrise. It’s a beautiful morning.

Back home for coffee and a quick shower as I was working at the little gift shop this morning at 9.30am.

What a lovely busy morning we had. So much lovely chat. It’s really helping me get to know people that I recognise or know of but have never been introduced to.

It was super busy and at one point we even had a big queue! Gayle is a trained florist so her wrapping skills are second to none. I hope no-one asks me to wrap anything…. It’ll be like a dogs breakfast being served up! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂

So I only worked until 12.30 and Craig picked me up from work in Abbie the camper van as his car was still in the garage. We drove down there to get it and it’s still not fixed!! Picked it up, back to the house to get ready and I am stressed out my box. I knew I would be today as it’s a lot to fit in to one day already without the car being stuck in the garage. We’re on our way now but are going to be late. That never sits well with me but it is what it is.

We’re heading to Penicuik for Dad’s 70th. We’re having a wee get together with mum and dad, my brother, sister in law and nephew. Our lovely neighbours have the con with the 3 hairy hounds. They are moulting just now and honestly the dog hair is EVERYWHERE!

My leg after dog walk!!!

I actually think I’m going to put the blog out now so that I don’t have one other thing to have to do today other than relax and enjoy time with family.

Happy Saturday!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I’m not making the same mistake as yesterday where all my good blogging ideas flew out my ears before I came to write it. 😆

I have a FB page for The Rambling Sloth 🦥 where I have THE most positive newsfeed. On the days where I do pick up the phone before I do anything else, it’s a great way to set your stall out for the day.

This next one is something f that I’ve been very aware of over the last few years on my healing journey. This….

I used to be soooo judegy it almost consumed me. I used to criticise anyone who wasn’t like me, who did things differently, who dressed differently, spoke differently and of course those who did wrong in my eyes.

I love that I am able to see past this now. If someone hurts me, cuts me up on the road or doesn’t do as I might expect in a situation, I am very quick to think why this might have happened. Why did that person seem angry…. What factors in their life have led them to this moment? Is it me? Of course it’s not. It’s the million things going on in their head today. The voices they hear inside of them making them angry.

Live and let live. I wish we could all be a bit more like this. The world might be a bit less judgey.

I should say here that I am not a saint. That someone’s direct anger to me will send me off in a rocket at times but that’s no longer my normal reaction and I’m proud of my ability to see past it.

We did not go to the Farm this morning. I’m tired.

I was working at the little gift shop today and it flew in! We had another really good day… there’s new scarf stock in this week that I’m just seeing and I love them all. I managed to price them up and love looking at them but not buy one 😬😂 it was not that easy 😂

It’s been such a strange weather day today. We had hailstones when we dropped Craig’s car off at the garage this morning and then when I went to work the sun was warm against the blue sky.

After work I headed up to Braehead Shopping Centre and it’s half 8 now and I just sat down! I am shattered!!

I’m trying to buy birthday presents and post being off sick for so long and covid lockdowns, I have no clue what to get anyone! I dither around the shops. I talk to myself (😳) I suffer a bit of anxiety. The shops are busy, there are lots of people all buying lots of stuff. I have waves of dizziness. That could be a lack of food and water today… 😬

I’m being so careful with money these days that I found it difficult seeing so many people shopping. There were loads of people with loads of bags. I’ve never been shopping on a Friday night before so maybe it’s always this busy but I felt like an outsider in a different world. I used to LIVE in shopping centres…. Funny how things change when you have a different focus in life.

The sky is stunning when I leave. The moon is huge but disappears behind the cloud when I try to take a photo.

I love this next one. It reminds how much there is to be grateful for in the world. I see beauty everywhere I look. Wow.

Anyway, I’m sooooo tired. Looking forward to a good sleep before work in the morning and Dad’ 70th family get together.

Happy weekend to you all!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I slept ALL night last night…. I didn’t wake up once and just woke up with the 6.30am alarm. Such a great feeling. A long nights sleep. ♥️

I bounded out of bed like Heidi the mountain goat…. Not 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It’s so dark in the mornings here now and the weather has been atrocious today. Torrential rain on and off all day.

I had a layer of damp over me all day. (just had to go outside for wood for the fire and got wet again!)

I got my toes done after work today. A lovely autumnal dark winey red. I miss my bright orange summery colour but this one will do just fine.

I’ve come home from work and got into my jammies, put the fire on and have my feet up. All cosy and lovely to be home on this wild evening.

There’s no really crazy mood issue for me this week which is great. I am calm.

Though I am really struggling to find the right words to say just now though. Even writing this feels like I’m pulling teeth. I thought of loads of things to write about during the day and yet none of them are flowing freely tonight. I just can’t think of the words when I’m half way through a sentence. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ll leave you with someone else’s wise words and get back to my crochet! Loving it just now.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

The alarm went off at 4.45am. I scan my body and mind. I’ve been awake since 3.21am…..

I’m tired. I settle back down, I not going to the Fit Body Farm this morning. I need to rest….

Then Craig comes back to the bedroom and realises I’m still in bed…… I sense the hesitation in his stance. He wants to stay home too…. He’s thinking about cancelling. I literally bound out of bed and that’s me…. Off to the Farm! Out the door in under 10 minutes!!

The class was really good and I enjoyed it… so glad I went…..despite getting my thumb stuck between two kettlebells…. 🏋🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😬

It rained on and off all day today again. It didn’t seem as torrential as yesterday but it still didn’t stop for long. It’s dark most of the day…. I’m so not ready for winter. I want my flip flops back.

So there’s nothing to report from today really. Clear head…. Not a lot of words coming out in the correct order though…. I know what I mean but I say something completely different. The main thing is that I know what I mean. 😆

Craig made dinner again tonight. Lovely to come home and not have to cook…. I’ve just been next door to the pub for the Wednesday Crochet Hookers. Only 3 of us tonight and the time passed really quickly as I’m actually crocheting again and have a purpose.

I’ll take some more photos of it at the weekend, in the daylight. I’m shattered now so planning a very early night.

I love this next one…. The Farm are encouraging us all to consider random acts of kindness during the month of October. I thought it would be a lovely idea to suggest to you all.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s been pouring with rain all day today, it hardly stopped. It’s grey, dull and dreary…. This was my view on the way to the toilet today 😬😂.

At least the Tartan Camper vans are bright and cheery. This is Lockie. Lockie is up for sale if anyone’ interested 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 hey a girl can try eh?!?

I’ve had another good day at work today…. Heavily spreadsheet based both yesterday and today, gotta love it! The hours pass quickly.

I got a call at 4pm today from the company that we have life insurance…. Looking to help us reduce our payment in these difficult times. The guy was so lovely and reckoned we were overpaying so fingers crossed we might save a wee bit on our monthly payments. He’s calling back again tomorrow after I’ve got some of the info he was looking for. There are some who might think he’s trying to sell us something but I’m going with the premise that he IS trying to save us money.

I’ve just been over to the village hall for my new exercise class. It was really good again tonight. The girl who takes it is just so smiley! You can’t help grinning from ear to ear all the way through.

So I’m struggling to write any more tonight as the dogs seems obsessed with me tonight….. I can’t get a minute’s peace.

The minute I wrote that, all 3 of them have disappeared…. Typical. 😂

I had to hoover when I came home from work tonight as their hair is everywhere!!!

This is what Bhruic does AFTER the hoovering….. you can’t win eh?!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I didn’t feel great when I woke at 2.41am this morning…. Even less great when Craig’s alarm went off at 4.45am.

I didn’t want to go to the Farm this morning at all, but I booked at the last minute and went as I knew it would do me good.

It was a great class with 20 seconds effort and 10 seconds rest the whole time so it was pretty constant and I was a happier but sweaty mess by the end of it!

Work flew in today. I was focussed, clear headed and in control. I honestly just never know what I’m gonna get from one day to the next. This was a good one.

Even Peanut, The Tartan Dog, 😆 had a good day and was out for the count when I turned round. He won’t sleep in his bed but right behind my seat…. Bless.

I went to Home Bargains after work for some emergency supplies….. toilet roll and snacks 😬 and now I’m home.

Had 3rd day amazing lasagne for dinner and I’m now sitting on the couch with my feet up about to start crocheting. I’m tired tonight but it’s a good tired.

I’ve been listening to Davina McCall’s book Menopausing……. I’m only on chapter one but wow… very interesting. Could it be that all of this may be peri-menopause? Even in the early stage of this book, the women that have written to her sound just like me. I’m enjoying listening to it. She explains things well and if this is not what is yet then it will help me to know what may come. It’s good to keep my mind occupied and I’m learning as I go.

Ok I’m off to crochet and watch a cheesy movie to let my mind rest.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Today could have so easily gone one of two ways. I felt very shaky this morning. Hanging by a thread, trying to keep it together. Trying to be normal, trying to focus on the positives. Trying to be grateful for all that I have. Craig says I should tell him when I feel bad but I didn’t own up to it today (like he can’t guess 😳😬) and I find it makes things a bit better for us both if I can find the strength to turn it around.

I feel like the minute I have a good day something comes along and whaps me between the eyes. Just when you think you’ve got it all together the universe will shows me that it’s not done with me yet.

I woke up yesterday morning full of the joys of autumn (ok I know that’s not quite the saying) … took the dogs out and got into an altercation with a dog that ran up to us not on a lead. None of it my fault but hey, you know me, adrenaline had me buzzing for about 20 minutes after it…. Almost in tears, shaking…..

Come home and try to relax. Then find out we have some other financial commitment over the next few months that we weren’t expecting. COME ON, GIMME (us) A BREAK!

I had a relaxing and thoughtful afternoon, trying to be present in the moment as worrying doesn’t change anything. I watched Meet Joe Black on Netflix and I howled!!!!! Proper sobbed…… it wasn’t just about Meet Joe Black. That film pandered to my “life is short, live it to the max” fear….. maybe not the best choice.

At least I slept well. Almost 10 hours.

So back to this morning, I’m shaky. The whole day stretches in front of me with no plans. A dream for so many of us, yet fraught with danger for me. What to do for the best. I need to rest but I need to not be bored and I need to get “stuff” done.

I start to potter after my bacon roll. I clean things that haven’t been cleaned for a while and it feels good. It helps clear my head. The porcelain white kitchen sink is gleaming.

It’s actually a really nice day outside. We open the windows, I sit and have a coffee, feel that wobble come back, get back up and get on with some more cleaning. I start throwing stuff out that we no longer use. It feels good.

Craig’s been down in the big shed most of the day clearing it out so we’ve both made the best of the day.

I have actually recorded my mood, for the last few days, in the Balance menopause app. One of my lovely friends recommended I start recording it just to see if there’s any pattern to it. Watch this space.

Check this pair…. The two headed dog!

I sat outside and crocheted at one point and despite being Scotland on the 2nd October, it was actually very warm.

I’ve joined the first row of my new blanket and I’m really pleased with it. It’s a new stitch (for me) that raises the join between the colours. It makes me smile as it starts to come together.

So yeah, a good day but I definitely had to work at it. I could so easily have slipped into self pity and wallow mode.

Craig made a lasagne yesterday and it’s honestly the best one he’s ever made. We’re having that for dinner again tonight. It’s in the oven just now and my mouth is watering.

These are difficult times for us all just now. It’s hard not to look at others and compare. At least tomorrow, I know I head to a job without aggression, without management by fear and I haven’t spent all weekend dreading it. That’s something to be very grateful for.

So I hope you all have a great week ahead. Just take each moment as it comes. Nothing more, nothing less. Be present in the moment.

Oh and try not to cry when you least expect it. That always helps.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I was awake before 6am this morning and tried to sleep but finally took the dogs out at 7am. It’s another wet and slightly windy day but I was lucky not to get totally soaked!

I love this next picture. Growing despite adversity.

There was a red sky this morning. I took a photo of this Garnock Valley painted bench, these are dotted around the valley to boost mental health.

The rain was torrential just before I left for work. Absolutely stotting down…. Bouncing back up to meet itself coming down. Thankfully it stopped before I had to leave. So lucky!

I took some photos of the inside of the little gift shop before customers came in this morning. It’s such a lovely, positive place to be. 💕

We were busy, the customers were pretty constant. Me being there let Gayle sort out the back shop in time for a big delivery on Monday, and I kept the shop going. There was a constant stream of customers so it was the best way for me to learn!

It boosted my confidence in a big way. I had to run to ask her quite a few questions but it was the best way to do it.

I met some lovely people and had some great chats. Met a lady who has crocheted the most stunning things. I had huge crochet envy!!! Her work is stunning.

It was a quick morning!

I got home at half one and wheeched around the house with the hoover as Craig had Kenny from next door coming round to watch the football and he was still not home from work. The dogs are moulting and there is dog hair everywhere. I emptied the hoover 3 times!

So I spent the rest of the afternoon crocheting…. Of course I did! Practice makes perfect.

I working on joining my next blanket. That will take me some amount of time!!

Hope you all have a lovely Saturday evening!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

What a difference a day makes. 🙏🏼

I have had the best day. I am so grateful that my head was quiet today.

Up for the Farm at 5am and we were lucky to have the session mostly in the dry, before the rain and wind picked up. It was constant without a breather. We were burst by the end of it.

Straight home and out with the dogs… determined to do everything before the storm kicked in.

The rain has started and the wind is picking up so I run round most of the loop I take them on.

Loved this wee guy!

I came home and got into Craig’s side of the bed as he’s had his electric blanket on…. I lay there for about 15 minutes and thought I might not ever move again. It was so toasty… but of course, I had to.

I had my shower and we sat and had coffee before he went out to work. When he left I started to read a book that talks about the voices in your head. Only read the first few chapters but it hit the spot…… it encourages you to separate from the voice inside your head…. The one that just said “what voice” as you read this. 😆

Listen to the advice it tries to give you, listen to how often it changes its mind, how often it jumps from one thing to another and how it always questions your decisions…. And how it never, ever really shuts up! I doubt that’s just me….. interested to see what the next few chapters say.

So as I said. I have had the best day. 🥰

I’ve been to the little gift shop and spent FIVE hours with Gayle. I say that in capitals as I thought my Friday job was 6 hours…. 11am-4pm….. love that I’m surprised to find out it’s only 5 hours. (How on earth did I work that out to be 6 hours last week?!?)

I served a good few customers and only made one mistake on the till…. 😂 and priced up a whole load of Christmas cards.

The day passed so quickly! We couldn’t believe when it was time for me to go home after my FIVE hours…. 😆😆😆

The storm passed quickly too. The sun was back out by lunch time which seemed really strange after the deluge in the morning.

The storm in my head is gone for now. All is calm. Nowhere near tears today.

Working tomorrow too…. Check me a SIX DAY week…. Even if it’s only until 1pm! Looking forward to it already.

I know….. wonder which Julie will get out of bed tomorrow?!?

A funny to end with….

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I’ve come to the sea tonight.

I am all over the place today. I burst into tears at work at 8am when I realised hadn’t ordered some parts for a van. I couldn’t stop crying…… it was not about the parts.

Sitting here now, I wonder what all the fuss is about.

There’s less noise down here than there has been in my head all day…. I couldn’t shift it.

Writing the blog has become a chore on these days. It’s as uncomfortable as hell. I am so tired of writing about the drama on the bad days and yet I need to get it out. I don’t want to write it and I can’t imagine anyone wants to listen to it.

I took a huge stick and walloped myself with it all day. The voice in my head tells me that I’m useless…. the mistake is yet another thing to prove that. How could I miss something so simple?

No one else seems bothered by it… it’ll be here tomorrow….

It’s not about the part…. I know that.

Something is shifting inside of me and I can’t drown it in wine…. I can’t go out and buy loads of stuff to try and cheer myself up. I just have to sit in the yucky stomach churning discomfort of it all and try to figure out what it all means.

Or maybe I’m so intensely reading up on everything that I actually just need to rest. I am exhausted by the frenzy in my head. I am exhausted trying to fix all the jumbled up thoughts I’m having.

I’ve been listening to an audio book called A Shift to Love, Zen Stories and Lessons by Alex Mill and there’s a chance it might just be a bit too much for might right now.

He’s spent 14 years in a Monastery mastering the art of meditation and he still has the voices in his head trying to belittle him and put him down all the time, what chance do I have cause I ain’t doing that!!!

The noise is calming right down sitting here. The sea always has this effect on me. Just sitting in nature. Nowhere to be. Nowhere to go. Just be.

Spot the birdies 😆

And just like that my day is made complete…. A yacht is sailing straight for the sunset. Wow. It’s the simple things in life.

It didn’t make the best photo as it was too close to the horizon so I took a photo way past the setting sun…

Its clouding over. It’s quite dramatic.

This fishing boat just passed and create a lovely light ripple.

Just spotted a seal too! Wow!

The sun has gone behind the clouds above Arran now.

The sky is a lovely colour.

The Julie that spent the day at work is a distant memory now. I can’t believe that I can let it get that bad looking back. The sheer drama of it all.

We have the remnants of the Florida storm hitting us tomorrow morning. We get nothing compared to what they have had. My heart goes out to everyone that’s been caught in it’s path.

It’s hard to imagine, sitting here just now.

Look how far the tide went out as I sat here!

I’m gonna head home now and get an early night. I’m shattered. I’m calm and that all that matters for now.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

So yeah, my dear old Dad is 70 today! He says it will come to us fast!!

I didn’t go to the Farm this morning as I was too tired after last nights Zumba and Kinesiology, and was late in bed. While I had my lie in, I dreamt I was at my old work and trying to avoid people in the corridors that I didn’t want to see…. Where on earth did that come from!!?! Would have been as well at the Farm!

The lie in did give me a chance to send all the messages I had to send to my dad. Mum and dad are away on holiday so they won’t see anyone today so I wanted to make it a bit different.

We used a thing called Vidday to make a video montage, so Mum and I got friends and family to record a short clip and for £7 Vidday add music to it and make it look professional. It’s a really lovely way to say happy birthday to someone you can’t see on their big day.

We FaceTimed after work and they’ve had s lovely day.

I’ve had a thumping headache, which has eased a bit now I’m home. I’ve been so ditsy again today but actually got through my list at work so can’t complain, even if I did drop almost everything I touched today. 😆 I’m off to crochet shortly then I’ll have a nice early night in the hope I can recharge.

We’ll celebrate with Dad when they’re back from holiday!

Huge happy birthday Dad!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I was such a dither before I left for work today. I just couldn’t string a single thought together…. I’d slept really well but it took me so long to get out the door. I couldn’t think straight at all. I kept forgetting things and walked from room to room until I was finally ready to leave.

This pic summed it up early on.

I got stuck behind a bus on the way to work, it stopped in front of me twice. I remember thinking how strange that was…. I’ve never seen a bus stop on this road before.

I glanced at the clock….

No wonder!!!! I was two minutes late… and other than the bus I had no clue.

My head was thumping and has been for most of the day. I’ve had lots of water. Even a salad for lunch (not to mention the cheese toastie thrown in to the mix!)

I am craving sugar, desperate for energy.

Somehow the tin of coffee jumped down onto the floor and spilled just after 8am in the office…. On the plus side I had reason to hoover. I honestly was nowhere near it when it fell. Boss says the porta cabin is haunted and he didn’t want to tell me…. Bring it on poltergeist. I’m ready. 🥊🥊🥊🥊

I went out into the van at lunchtime and had a 7 minute nap. Eyes shut, alarm set and I felt so much better for it.

I had wanted to do a 10 minute meditation like I did at lunchtime yesterday but I couldn’t get signal.

Of course I never slept but I approached the afternoon differently. I set my mind to getting through work and getting it done rather than thinking about how tired I felt!

I have a busy evening. I have this new exercise class in the village hall at 6.45pm (incidentally I had to type exercise about 5 times to get the spelling right…. 🤯) then I have kinesiology at 7.45pm. I have to wheech across the road and upstairs to be ready. I have an hour before the class so I could just take a wee nap just now.

I thought to myself today. I am so tired of being me. What an awful thing for anyone to say. I do feel like I make everything such hard work all the time. I just want a day of sweetness and light, don’t we all…. and I’ve been lucky enough to have brought it round several times today but I’m having to work at it.

This exercise class is gonna blow all the cobwebs away and have me beaming from ear to ear like it did last week. i just know it will.

Bring… it… on.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Ooooh I did not sleep well last night and the result is I’m shattered just now. I have a half hour to go until the Village Hall Committee AGM and I could sleep.

I NEED TO STOP DRINKING CAFFEINE…

If I put it in caps maybe I will remember.

I just lie there wide awake. I got up at 12.30am, 2.30am and again at 4.30 just in time for the 5am alarm. 🤦🏻‍♀️

The Farm was tough this morning (so I always say that?!) but I really enjoyed it. These coos were guarding my van before I got back to it this morning!

Work was busy and the day flew in. I ate too much. I’m tired so feel the need to stuff my face desperately looking for energy.

I planned a nap after work but ended up taking the dogs out which was probably way better for me.

It was a beautiful late afternoon but it was bitter up the hill. Some lovely photos….

It’s 9.30pm. I’m just back in from the AGM and now rushing to put this out before I go to bed and I’ll just leave this next one here….. 🫣

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I’m lying in bed and it’s 6.30am and my mind is already whirring so I thought I’d write some of it down.

I’m gutted that my plans for today have fallen through. I was meant to be paddle boarding on Loch Lomond with Ayrshire Paddleboard Co but it was cancelled about 8.30pm last night due to a bad weather forecast.

It was originally meant to be in the afternoon, then mid week changed to 10am to 1pm and last night they made the right call that the increasing wind forecast wasn’t safe.

On one had I was very nervous that I wouldn’t be good enough for the 10k paddle, my wrist has been hurting for a week or so, so I was worried that the paddle would make it worse. Then it cancels and I’m gutted!! Safety first though!

So I could have worked in the little gift shop yesterday morning after all. Mrs Over-thinker needed at least one day at the weekend with no plans… and now I have two. So my mind is in overdrive with the possibilities…..

What do I want to do today?

I want to relax and enjoy a day off but I don’t want to waste it…. Ideas are …Meditation, sort out the Christmas boxes and get them down to a small amount so I can give the rest to charity, walk the dogs, healthy food shop…. But I need to do something that gets me out the house.

I decided to head to head to Largs and Kelburn Castle & Estate. Click on the link to have a look.

Kelburn Castle was built around 1143 and is decorated in what they call Transient Art.

Here it is today. It’s pretty overcast today and the forecast is for strong winds and rain later but I’m lucky to get out and about in the dry.

I have to say, if I’m being really picky, it’s not that pretty but it is captivating as it’s so unusual.

So I took Freya with me today and the plan was to have a big walk in the woods and enjoy being outside before the weather turns…. And that is exactly what we do.

In true country estate style we opt to follow one of the designated paths…. The black path which is the longest walk and takes about an hour.

The black markers don’t seem visible to me for most of the walk so we head up the North Glen and back down the South Glen. Lo and behold we have walked the black route without even really realising it. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

This did not scare me… in… the… slightest…. walking up to it… and past it…. Jeezo man 😂

Then we get up to the top of the walk and have lovely views out over Great Cumbrae and Arran. The photo doesn’t do it justice as all.

Then we head down the South Glen.

I should say here that this is the Kel Burn running through the estate which makes a lot of sense obviously.

It’s a stunning woodland walk.

Another glimpse is the sea!

This next photo is looking down on the waterfall pool. It’s actually a 6ft deep chasm… the photo doesn’t give it that depth.

And this next one is us down at the pool looking back up at the sculpture people! They are see through from up top so don’t show up very well in the first photo, if you look though you will see the outline.

The pool is lovely. It’s actually so dramatic. We tried a selfie but this is the best we can do.

It was a lovely walk and nothing beats spending time in the trees.

There was an Artisan Market on today but we didn’t go in. Not sure Freya would be in-keeping with the artisan theme 😆 and not sure I could afford anything that describes itself as artisan at the moment. I did buy coffee and a lemon square which was lovely…. £4.60.

I should say it’s £5 to pay for parking too but you get access to everything in the grounds. It strikes me as a great place to take kids and there’s a fair bit for them to do.

Here she is all tired and ready to head home!

I sorted out the Christmas boxes and threw some stuff out and have a bag for charity.

I also did a 35 minute guided meditation by Suzanne Robichaud- Open to Receive -the law of attraction. Think I may have fallen asleep in the middle of it but woke back up for the end.

The wind is blowing leaves all over Craig’s clean grass now but hey…. It looked great for a day!!

So a good day, all relaxed and rested for the week ahead!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

As usual on a day off, the voices in my head were screaming at me to change the world in one day.

I’ve had a really busy week and I’m tired. I woke with a headache and a million thoughts all rolled into one tiny wee head.

I can’t believe I’ve been writing this for 900 days and that’s with some days off in between…. Time flies when you’re pouring your heart out in words. I must have analysed and over analysed my every waking and non-waking move since then. Trying to understand what makes me tick.

Some days I think I’ve got it made.

Other days a different version of me gets out of bed.

Remember when we were kids and people would say we were over-tired? Maybe that is a thing…. This mornings anxiety wasn’t a discomfort, wasn’t manifesting itself in a physical pain…. It was the wittering budgie in my head going round in circles questioning my decisions, my life choices, the meaning of life.

I wrote a list of things I wanted to achieve today and Craig took some of them. That helped. (I should say here, there was nothing of any great substance but you probably know that by now…I just wanted to get it all done!)

While I was out cleaning Abbie the camper van, Claire pulled up in her car and I literally word vomited all the thoughts out at once!! I could hear myself… 😬😳🤯 She laughed and it made me laugh. I felt a bit calmer after that.

Considering all that rambling mind this morning I’ve actually had a really productive day.

I spent some time working on the village Memorial Hall accounts, getting ready for the AGM on Monday night. The sun is shining today so I sat at my desk upstairs and opened the window wide so that I was in the sun while being productive.

Craig pressure washed the grass again so the garden looks lovely and fresh. The sun went behind the cloud for this photo!

I popped into Claire’s for tea and cake in the garden… check me having tea and I really enjoyed it! We had a really great chat and caught up on each others’ week….and the cake was lovely!

I sat outside in the sun for a while. This could be the last of the warmth and it’s lovely. Our beautiful ivy is starting to turn red.

I’m listening to an audio book by Alex Mill called A Shift to Love. I love this quote.

“The secret to staying grounded is simple. Don’t indulge the thinking, don’t noodle the juicy story, don’t leave the ground”.

“Nothing is more important than presence, your heart does not resist your body coming to silence. Only the voices of resistance want you to leave the peace, that is who you authentically are, to visit the minds crazy funhouse of distorted mirrors and shifting floors”.

“Why?”

“So you can frantically search for peace, the peace you had before you left. The peace that is you. Stay at centre and allow peace to come to you. Never leave centre to indulge a problem, a concern or a worry. Centre is where your power is”.

“Chasing after the world brings chaos, allowing it all to come to me brings peace”

The minds crazy funhouse of distorted mirrors and shifting floors……. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 that sums up my mind straight away!

I’m so grateful that I managed to turn the day around and find my peace.

It has crossed my mind recently that I’ve had a few down days but I’m doing all of this without the medication I was on for about 20 odd years and actually, that is pretty special.

Check me being proud of myself….

Hope you all have a lovely Saturday night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I am not gonna lie, I am actually too exhausted to even type this but I have been on the go since 5am…… I may have to sit down all weekend and speak to no one to recover!

I didn’t exactly take it easy this morning before I started at 11am. 🤨

The farm was great but really tough. I thought I might actually be sick when we finished the main workout of the session as I’d worked so hard. I had to lean against a wall for a few minutes taking deep breaths to try to regulate my breathing.

We were in pairs for a time challenge and my partner and I finished in 22 minutes and 59 seconds. (Could have said 23 minutes but that second counts!)

It was a full on workout with 2k of running in between the stations (I hope I calculated that right…. Too tired to care really… it was a lot!) We worked extra hard as we take turn about with the exercises. It’s a great buzz but knackering.

I recovered enough to drive home and went straight out with the dogs before I had my shower. No point in sitting down!

The mist was rolling in and it felt very autumnal today.

Scotland has gone from summer to autumn this week. I’m suddenly aware of the darker nights and the leaves are changing colour. The temperature has dropped a fair bit too even though the sky is still blue.

The sun was fighting with the mist but it was a lovely dog walk.

Loved this coo watching the wheelie bins! When nature meets man made….

Our village looks moody in the morning mist. It’s only 8.15am by now and I’ve already done 11k steps!

I’ve been making smoothies for breakfast these last few weeks. Oat milk, yogurt and banana. I really enjoy them and even let Craig have some today. 😆

Sometimes I add a protein yogurt especially after a workout. I’m really loving my smoothies.

Then….. I started on the housework and hoovered the ground floor of the house, tidying as I went. Finally got into the shower and ready for my first day at the little gift shop!

What to wear????! That took me a while! The shop can be quite cold in the winter so I didn’t know what to expect today so I layered up! Also what shoes so my feet weren’t sore? It’s been so long since I went out somewhere in real clothes if that makes sense…. I got there eventually but had a good few outfits on before I finally settled on one…. Jeans and a sweatshirt took me that long 😂

I’ve had a lovely wee day and so absorbed that I’ve not taken any photos of the lovely stock!

I was there from 11-4 and learned how to use the till and the card machine. The rest of the time was taken up with chatting and serving customers and catching up on how everything works.

It was lovely to catch up with Gayle and hear about how she wants the shop to work. She has a great team working with her and I’m looking forward to being a part of that. She knows EVERYONE that comes in and makes their day a bit more special by chatting to them. I’ve always loved that about the shop and I personally love that part too. I like my chat!

A great day but I will definitely sleep tonight!!!

So grateful to have the opportunity to try something new!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Jeez who would ever have thought when I started writing this that I’d get this far only to say it’s a quickie tonight because I am tired! (Stop it!)

I’ve not been sleeping well this week…. I was up at 2am and 5am this morning and I suddenly realised it’s because I’ve been back on the caffeine with a couple of coffees a day….. so I’ve had none today and I feel like a half shut knife! Hoping that I sleep well tonight though.

Work has been really busy all week and I feel like I’ve been chasing my tail. I’ve got through loads but stayed a bit later tonight trying to clear up since it’s Thursday already! I got a bit antsy this morning at the volume I had to get through and just tried to work methodically through it taking deep breaths when the anxiety got a bit out of control. Works well under pressure NOT!

I had a massage at Harmony in Beith tonight and it was soooo good. Another reason I feel ready to sleep. It’s only a wee half hour but honestly Norma found every tight bit to work on. The perfect need to my working week……. Or is it?!?! 🤨

It’s the perfect end but not to my working week….. I have a new exciting thing to share with you all! I’m going to work in my friend Gayle’s shop Fridays and some Saturdays to help out in the run up to Christmas! When I popped in to see her on Friday last week, it was like therapy. We got chatting and I got a wee mini job. I’m excited as I’ve always loved the shop. Check out the little gift shop on Fb through this link. It’s been such a lovely addition to our local town that it’s the first place you think of for gifts! I think it will help me get to know more locals too.

So yeah…. A change is as good as a rest. I’m really looking forward to it….. and secretly hoping the house cleaning fairies kick into action in my absence….. 😆 just in time for the weekend. ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

The heading says it all…. No need to read on! 😂

Totally forgot to mention that Abbie the camper van had a slight drama yesterday morning. How could I forget?!

She’s not been running great for a few weeks, a bit of a wobble in the rear end which I’ve been turning a blind eye to….. yeah I know, I hear myself.

I got down to work yesterday and met a customer for a chat and realised the back wheel was as flat as a pancake when I walked round the van! The whole van was actually sitting at an angle……

Uh oh…….

The boys asked when I had last checked my tire pressure.

Hmmmm never????

There was a two inch wood nail through the tree. The boys were VERY quick to tell me that we don’t use that type of screw in camper van conversion 😬😆

When I lived by myself I used to be very good as these things and would check every few months. Abbie the camper comes along and I just seem to think she’s invincible and those monster tyres don’t need checking?!?

I will do it from now on…..

So a garage near work fixed it in an hour for a tenner. Sooooo lucky!

So back to today…. Stunning sunrise at FBF this morning. this is the sky at 6am.

We started the class and the sky kept turning…. It was stunning! This is taken from where right we do our work out!!

How lucky are we?!

I pretended to go and get a tissue and picked up my phone and then ran down to the car park to get these next shots… obsessed much eh?!

Even when I left at 7.30, it was still pretty.

Work was really busy again and I was late getting away. I had half an hour to get some dinner and back out to the pub next door to Crochet. It’s been a busy few nights for me!

We had a good old natter tonight and I did zero crochet as I’m in between projects just now, which basically in crochet terms means I’m in the middle of 3 different things and can’t be bothered finishing any of them.

Craigie is watching Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 vs Ukraine football on tv and I’m chilling watching The Crown. Check me with my new found royal interest!

No tears today and actually quite bright and bubbly…. Long may that continue!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️